Chương 49: [That Time The Catgirl Healer in my Party Was Not a Cow]

Myself and the girls had been traveling together for a few days now doing party stuff off-screen because this is an always-online LitRPG world, so the story continues even when you're not reading. That's why there's no pause option by the way. The markets have shown there just isn't a market these days for single-player, story-focused litRPG experiences.

Fortunately, we have integrated innovative new dialogue techniques that will allow you to keep up with the story even with these sizable gaps in both time and knowledge. I'm only pointing them out because they'd be easy to miss and appreciate if I didn't say something.

"As you know, this used to be the legendary cavern of the Craven King," I said as we stood within the shadow of a looming cave. A breathing, oily darkness that promised plunder and peril churned before us.

"Who went into exile many generations ago and hid his most sacred and treasured artifacts within this unassuming cave. After instructing his loyal magician to ensure no invaders could reach the loot within, the Craven King found himself so befuddled by the caves defenses not even he could reach the bottom. Now his spirit haunts the darkness, wandering the halls trying to find a way to his lost loot… and killing any who would try to reach it first."

"As you know, i-it's been my dream e-ever since setting out on this journey to plunder these caves," Also Elara 2 stared into the darkness — meek, but neither daunted nor cowed on account of her being a catgirl.

"Not just because I want the treasures within, but also because I suspect the lost soul of the trapped king might be an ancient relative of mine and I want to put him to rest. For as long as he haunts these halls, our family's blood is cursed to slowly boil… and once we hit the age of fifty, it burns us alive."

"Ya'll already know Also Elara 2 and I have gotten really close over the course of this journey," Elara 2 smiled brightly at her friend.

"Belle and I would do anything to help save her life. So we're happy to tackle this famously unconquerable dungeon."

"As you know, my old party was destroyed at a Car Wash and I would rather seek revenge than explore this cave," Elara nodded.

"But I forgot about that until this very moment on account of the many mental and memory problems I struggle with. The ones you all know about. So I forgot to say anything about it until now."

"You all know I could care less about adventure or saving some old dead guy's soul. I also wouldn't care one bit if you all died in there," I scoffed, "But I did promise The Dicster I'd take care of you all. Not just so you'd feel indebted to me, which would transform into sexual desire so intense you would be willing to share me just for a crumb of my attention. Just mostly for those reasons."

"As you know, we're okay with that for some reason."

"As you know, it's time for us to enter the dungeon."

"As you know, we agree." Knowingly nodding, we stepped into the legendary dungeon of the Craven King. As our eyes adjusted to the darkness, we saw a horrifying sight: the ghost of the mad king himself, screaming and howling which we didn't hear earlier for some reason, sobbing madly at the foot of a heavy stone door with an inscription carved into the earth. This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it"CURSE YOU DOOR- AND CURSE YOU INTRUDERS!"

His wretched screams blacked our vision and caused our souls to quiver, as if trying to evacuate the bodies that put them in such danger. I mean the royal 'our' by the way. Which means them. I was fine. I had long ago maxed out my immunity to ickiness.

"WHO DARES VENTURE INTO MY DUNGEON TO PILFER ITS RICHES FROM UNDER ME!!!"

"What sort of unholy abomination is this?!" Elara gasped.

"Ah crap a spooky spooker" Elara 2 gasped. Belle stopped a meteorite from destroying the earth.

"The legends were true?!" Also Elara 2 gasped.

"Feh. You were already weak enough to die once. Should be easy doing that again," I said as I drew my blade.

"Say your prayers, you wretch. If you think any god will listen, anyway."

"Wait!" Also Elara 2 jumped between me and the ghost.

"As you know, this could very well be my ancient ancestor! We can't just double-kill him: let me try talking to him first!"

"Hmph. Sounds like a recipe for trouble. But trouble just happens to be a favorite of mine." I snorted loudly.

"So go ahead and cook, chief. I'll be here to clean up if things get messy."

"Thanks, protagonist-kun. We've been traveling together for so long and been through so much together, I knew you'd believe in me. Just like how you knew I'd believe in you. This moment feels really earned. I can't wait for the fanart." She turned around and faced the ghost — trembling, but still not a cow.

"Listen to me, oh forsaken king! My friends, and the world, may know me as Also Elara 2. But I have another name I've kept secret from them all — a name passed down across generations. But I shall share it with you now: my secret name… is The Craven King the 55th!"

"Holy crap my kids got laid," the ghost said.

"Yes! An unbroken chain of your children and grandchildren getting freaky with it brought me to you today! And now I can liberate you from your curse by assuring you that the treasure will go to someone in your bloodline! You will keep your treasure in a manner of speaking!"

"... does that mean we're not splitting it?" Elara 2 asked.

"Where are we?" Elara reassured her.

"FOOL!" The Craven King cut them off after politely waiting for them to finish speaking.

"I care not if my riches go to my kin, for they are mine and mine alone! Now, I shall punish you for your impunity by slaying you and trapping you in here with me forever! Gahahahahahahahahahaha!"

"Looks like your dish came out perfect, Also Elara 2." I snorted, stepping up to face the mad king.

"Now let's see if your dead great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great grandfather has bitten off more than he can chew." Will our protagonist be able to overcome his most dangerous foe yet?! Yes! How?!

With his overwhelming stat advantage and impenetrable plot armor! But I'll also tell jokes aour nd crap so there's probably other reasons to tune in tomorrow as well, so please do that.:)