Chương 40: [That Time I Used My Overpowered Stat Screen Skill to Punch 51 Teenagers to Death]

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Pirate Pete and his puntable parrot." The School Bully had an air about him that suggested that the air around him was perfectly usable, but entirely unpleasant; spoiled as it was by his horrible stench which no amount of Old Spice could ever cover, only agitate. But that wasn't the only reason the other students cowered at his approach.

He was also incredibly talented at magic and The Sex, and since his father was a powerful politician who donated tons of money to the school, he could do whatever he wanted and the staff would never stop him. Not if they valued their job, anyway. And like any good bully, he was always on the hunt for new people to torment. So, it was only natural for his eyes to settle on me as I was cooly reading in the hallway and training my bishonen eyes skill. I afforded this interloper but a glance from my half-bishonen eye.

I really can't think of a better way to describe it, but the mental image of the half-bishonen eye is really funny. Just work with me here.

"Looks like this idiot flunked out of 'growing a new leg' school, so he decided to wash up here." The School Bully smirked. Behind him he had a small gang of hangers-on and yes-men, who all frantically nodded in passionate agreement with his assessment while rubbing their hands together and arching their backs.

"I guess they'll let anyone in these days… maybe I should talk to my father about tightening up the entrance exam."

"While you're at it, tell him to install new windows," I boredly replied.

"It might stop all these insects from bothering me."

"What did you call me?!" The Bully slammed his fist into the wall beside me, but his effort to intimidate failed. That said, if he was trying to make me jealous he could curl his fingers into a fist because he didn't keep breaking them as a baby, then he would have succeeded at least a little better.

"Buzz, buzz, buzz, these insects sure are persistent. Don't you agree, Pat?"

"I want to participate without hesitation But to reiterate my current situation I was shot a bunch and want to lie down."

"... yeah, you're right, new kid. There are a lot of bugs around here. And the only thing to do when you spot a bug…" He slammed his fist into me with a heavy crack, crushing my nose while sending me staggering backwards.

"... is to crush it." I quickly righted myself, or more accurately, lefted myself since my right leg was still missing. A small trickle of blood streamed down my face, but it was impossible to know how much HP that attack cost me. But when it came to Pride Points, I assure you, I was still utterly untouched. My PP was far too mighty for such a stroke to even bruise it. My PP wouldn't droop no matter how much he worked his fist against me. My PP was too hard for him. For anyone.

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"Well, with a weak punch like that, you won't be crushing anything." I crack my knuckles.

"Let me-" In a show of intense disrespect for the rules of banter, the bully punched me again. This time I fell over and his lackeys started to wail on me too, all of them hungry for a taste of my PP.

"Getting punched like that does not look fun. But seriously, I was shot with a gun. I want medical attention."

"Don't worry about me, Pat." I spat the words out because I'm a man of few words.

"This is- ow can you stop hitting me please."

"Maybe if you beg like the animal you are, I'd be willing to show you mercy." The bully bullied, stepping on my rib and twisting his foot.

"Bark for me, puppy. Let me hear you whimper." Everyone stopped punching me just long enough for me to actually reply which was very nice of them. I slowly clawed my way back to my foot, breathing heavily, a few drops of blood dripping from my nose.

"Alright. Let me just pull up my begging stat for you real fast…" I flicked my wrist, and my stat screen appeared in front of me. Now, naturally, I didn't actually know how high my begging stat was, but little did they — or you — realize I wasn't actually here for that. Instead, with another flick of my wrist, I expanded the stat screen so that it covered my entire body. Then, I opened the settings to access the opacity toggle.

And as it so happened, I was a high enough level in my stat screen skill that I had unlocked a hidden feature: one-way transparency.

"Look at that. It's too low or too high. Either way… guess I'm not begging." I swung and punched the bully square in the face, but as he was reeling from the blow, I quickly switched on opacity. And while I could still see them perfectly fine behind my stat screen, it blocked their vision entirely. So when they swung, I could see it coming and dodge it effortlessly. And when I swung back, they had no idea where my fists were coming from.

With this ability, I dismantled the thugs with ruthless efficiency and leveled up my PP a few times while I was at it. If only I could measure it, I'd make another joke right now. Alas, I can't think of anything funny to say about a PP that cannot be measured. Leave it in the comments. When the bully and all fifty of his lackeys hit the floor, I finally stopped punching.

"Well thanks for the warm-up. But I'm not going to get any stronger bullying weaklings like you."

"Not to be contrarian But that's not what I see. Even watching you beat up these guys Gave me some EXP."

"No crap? Oh okay then I'm gonna keep bullying you." So I bullied them some more until they died. But at least I might have leveled up from it.

"Welp, it's my first day in school and I already killed two teachers and fifty-one other students" I said as I hopped away with Pat at my side.

"I guess it's only fitting that at a school for the sexually experienced that I would have such a high… body count." Everyone including the bully and his dad laughed. Roll credits.