Chương 19: Haha I'm an unrelaible narrator remember

The auditorium at the inanimate objects UN went silent after my speech. I had spent the past 816 hours waiting for the inanimate objects to applause or to kill me or do whatever it was the plot needed. I had a SSS+ rank in memory but I used all that mental real estate to keep track of my kickflip combo and all the cool-as-crap titles I had given myself over the years, such as "Night Slayer", "The Orphan Making Machine", and "The Anti-Chud".

The plot would do whatever I said it needed to do so I didn't need to remember it. If the plot were like a plot of land — like if you were doing a play on words with 'plots' — you could argue that, like, I had firmly planted my flag and dug my roots into the plot. You could do that. I, obviously, would make an even more impressive metaphor. I'd make up a word and just weasel it in there. If it's good enough for Shakespeare it's good enough for "The Stud of Southern Winds".

"Hey how long have you been standing there?" The Goblin asked.

"Everyone's gone. The story's over."

"The flip-flop do you mean by that?"

"Yeah I mean the jokes were made and the story lost the plot and the author made a really sincere farewell post to the one person who had followed the story. It's over. We're done."

"B-but that's- that's impossible!" I say with a smirk, "I am the protagonist. THE protagonist. The platonic ideal that every other LitRPG hero strives for. Every step, I seduce rivals, childhood friends, hapless elves, and crippled women I can use to satisfy my enormous savior complex instead of actually bettering myself as a person. Every breath, foes crumble, empires fall, and I exploit a power system that has obvious flaws that nobody else thought to exploit for largely unexplored reasons. It can't end here.

It can't… I REFUSE TO LET IT!"

"Bro what are you going to do? You might be the most overpowered character in all of fiction by every objective and subjective measure but it's not like you could break confinement of the story and somehow force it back into relevancy."

"Ha. Everyone laugh at this stupid The Goblin. After everything you've seen me do, are you sure now is the time to doubt my power?! NOW SHUT UP AND WATCH THIS: MY HAREM FROM BEYOND THE FOURTH WALL! COME TO ME!" A few moments passed. The goat I past tensed in the first chapter collapsed on the ground behind me. They had suffocated in space. I guess the Grass isn't always Greener on the other side, eh? Heheheh.

"... what am I watching?" The Goblin asked.

"Is that goat okay?" A few more moments passed the way moments like these often do. Rising anticipation met with a sturdy wall of inaction, like lashing waves crashing against a tall and unmoving cliff. It was such a common sensation that we had many words for it but very little appreciation for it. It was the span of time between a ball being thrown up and falling into open hands. It was the eternity that passed between the arms of a clock during a long lecture at school.

It was the prolonged heaviness that spanned the moments of silence in a meeting. The brief flicker of your thoughts as you pause after each period. The world was filled with so much of this silence that to confront it is to realize how little time is actually spent- -Oh wait the earth is shaking it's action time baby.

"What's going on?!" The Goblin asked.

"Guys! I just came by to ask what's going on?!" Ilia followed up, bursting through the floor.

"Ho ho ho! Santa didn't have an earthquake on his nice or naughty list what's going on on on?!" Santa also followed up, bursting through Ilia who was still bursting through the floor.

"I simply psychically commanded my harem to start leaving comments and liking the story and junk!" I followed up on Santa while bursting through him as well.

"What's going on?!" You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.

"Ho ho ho! You fool! You've doomed us all all all…!" In the next moment, it was all gone. The world. The harem. Everything. Before our eyes could even think about blinking, the four of us found ourselves adrift in a vast and empty sea of nothing.

"Is this what death is like now that there's no goddess of reincarnation?!" I ask out loud thanks to my [I Was Reborn as an Audience Surrogate in an Over-Complicated Fantasy World] skill. YOU WISH the mysterious, booming voice from before manifested itself in the darkness, ACTUALLY YOU GUYS ARE ABOUT TO BE DROPPED INTO HELL PLUS.

"Hell Plus! That sounds way worse than normal hell!" The Goblin gasped. YEAH MAN IT'S PRETTY MUCH WHAT'S ON THE TIN. ITS LIKE DISNEY PLUS BUT FOR HELL. MORE EXPENSIVE TOO.

"But why?!" Ilia asked. THAT'S A TRICK QUESTION.

"Okay then why specifically now?!" Ilia clarified.

"Allow me to explain…" Everyone wheeled around to see there was a sixth person in the void with us.

"Dante from the hit 2001 video game Devil May Cry!?" Everyone shouted in surprise.

"No why- why would you think that? It's me. The Ancient Demon. From Chapters 3 through 7."

"What?! But I stabbed you! More than once, even!" The Goblin stabbed them again to show it was possible, and The Demon nodded.

"Indeed. But when you kill a Demon we just got back to hell so it's more like being Isekai'd. Except we're isekai'd back to where we were first started. So a reverse Isekai. A Iakesi, if you would." The Ancient Demon waited for the laughter from the live studio audience to die down before continuing.

"Anyway! Ever since the protagonist used the power of his harem to boost the numbers of this story, it has rocketed up the ranks. Now if you go to https: //litrpgtoolkit. com/ and check The Worst LitRPG on Royal Road, you'll find we're on #15 on Rising Stars at time of writing!"

"Wow!" The Goblin said.

"Amazing!" Ilia said.

"Hohoho!" Someone (idk who?) said.

"Jesus Christ!" I said.

"Yes?" Jesus Christ said.

"Sorry I was using your name in vain as an exclamation." I said.

"Oh well now it's Hell Ultra Plus." Jesus said before leaving.

"It's all very impressive," The Ancient Demon nodded along… before a fiery glint flared up in its fiery eye so not a whole lot changed visually, "... except now we are literally under thirty."

"No wonder we're going to Hell Ultra Plus!" Ilia gasped as she finally got a gasp over the situation, "We used so many naughty words in our adventure!"

"Exactly!" The Demon roared.

"Now that you're entire world is under thirty, every curse word, every errant use of the word 'Dang', has in fact danged you to a level of hell beyond even my understanding! Enjoy an eternity of whatever it is that happens down there."

"Heh. Is that supposed to scare me?" I ask with a 10/10 smirk.

"You forget who I am. You forget what genre this is! I'm the flipping Protagonist! I don't face consequences for my actions, I am the consequences."

"Oh?!" The Demon guffawed.

"And what are you going to do hero?! How are you going to get out of this one?! You gonna make your arms long? You gonna drink water? You gonna piss and poop your pants?!"

"Heh. The only one pissing and pooping their pants will be you once you put on some pants and evolve a digestive tract! Because you're forgetting one of my greatest abilities yet! Time loops!" With that, I clap my hands and do a bunch of fancy crap to make a Time Gate appear. It's like a normal gate, except it leads to the endlessly flowing stream of time, which bends to me and my will like butter bends to a hot plate.

"Just you watch, demon. I'm about to change history." I turn to the camera and wink.

"... literally."