Chương 28: [Oh No! That Time I Reincarnated into a LitRPG World and Nearly Died to a Bug in the System!]

"I can't believe I've been in this world for an immeasurable amount of time and I still don't know what my stats are," I say as I wipe the Kobolds blood off my hands and pick one of his teeth out of my knuckles.

"Tis a mystery for most our kin The skills designed to help us win For every stat we'd seek to call Is hidden behind a fat paywall." The fact that the Kobold was able to sing despite his jaw being at a 90 degree angle on his face spoke to both his composure and his ability to stick to a bit. I had a feeling the two of us would get along just fine, although I was less sure how long the singing gimmick would last.

"Right, I remember my parents telling me that the day I was born," I made several obscene gestures in an effort to try and conjure up the tell-tale screen. I felt a particularly urgent need to see my stat screen now. I didn't just want to see what my abilities were, I also wanted to see how much EXP I got for beating up depressed kobolds. It was never too late to change the name of this story to [Growing from the Weakest to the Strongest in the New World by Gaming the System with Domestic Abuse].

But alas, nothing worked.

"The mechanics may be a mystery But the results are clear for all to see Even if you cannot pay the fee You can still pursue your destiny."

"Yeah. Yeah! Obviously you just weren't enough EXP to get me on the board. I need to find a foe that's worthy of my incredible power, something that will actually give me a worthwhile experience! Tell me, Kobold Slave — are there any mighty beasts in this part of the woods?"

"I feel the need to quickly address A phrase that may be put to rest I might agree to be your knave Pretty sure that's not the same as 'slave'."

"Slave, party member, in one of these things it's basically synonyms""I'm familiar with the genre trope you're trying to dissect But there's a nuance to this topic you would do well to double-check. This novel's true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there. When the protagonist buys a slave, like a beastgirl or an elf He's usually trying to free her… and isn't enslaving her himself." I stared at the Kobold.

The Kobold tried to hide his rhyming dictionary before the narrator could point it out.

"... you're so right," I nodded affirmatively.

"We should cruise for chicks at the Slave Market later. But for now, let's find something I can kill to level up so I can get this darned stat screen out of hiding." And so, the hunt began. It's something of an old adage that war is long periods of boredom punctuated by moments of sheer terror. Incidentally, the same thing can be said about hiking.

Traversing the naturally foreboding shadows of an unknown wood should have been a thrilling opportunity to find mobs to kill and loot, but there were no such bounties to be found as of yet. It was an entirely uninspired, dull-as-bones journey. At least, until I noticed a strange glow appear on my chest. A pulsing, eye-catching blue, that seemed to throb with an eerie, perhaps foreboding energy.

"OwO what's this?" I asked, giving it a gentle poke.

"An unlucky find new friend of mine Best try to hide that glowing sign Lest you be felled by the doom it foretells."

"Can you talk normal if it's critical information?"

"I'd rather not. You stupid thot." A sudden, painful sting ruptured through my chest, the impact of which caused me to roar and stagger backwards. I stared down to see the glowing mark had vanished, then spotted a single mosquito quickly retreating from my new gaping chest wound.

"It attacked my glowing weak point!" I gasped, trying to smack it out of the sky. But then it rolled and exploited its i-frames to phase straight through my hand. I swung a few more times, but it seems this mosquito specced into dex instead of strength, because it could keep dodging without running out of stamina while flying directly towards the next glowing spot on my body, which happened to be my right knee.

"Oh dang oh drat oh crap oh-" The mosquito ripped my leg off with a masterful jab of its proboscis, sending my limb flying off in a fountain of blood while I collapsed to the ground.

"This hurts so darn much!" I say, the author lacking the real-life experience to comment any further on how much getting your leg ripped off might hurt. Probably worse than a twisted ankle? But maybe not as bad as a tummy ache. I dunno shout out in the comments if you had your legs ripped off and let me know. But I had to focus. Rule of threes — there would be one more weak point somewhere on my body after this and if the mosquito got to it, it would be "Game Over" for "Me"!

I quickly spotted it on the nape of my neck — a pin-prick needle of light that would spell my doom if the mosquito managed to reach it. I made a few more slow, telegraphed attacks, but the Mosquito dodged them all effortlessly as they flew towards the final weak spot they needed to hit before it would be "Game Over" for "Me". How was I going to get out of this one?! Find out next time! How was I going to extend this chapter to hit my arbitrary word count of at least 1000 words?

I think you'll find that if you investigate the situation with a more critical mind you'll find the solution to that particular riddle is actually being answered right before your very eyes! You need not wait an extra minute you have found out already! What a joyful thing to happen!

"Fart," I say to wrap it up.