Chương 941: Day Nine Hundred And Thirty-Nine

Dear Diary, I thought about it a bit since yesterday when Saffron told me about how Jack Frost has basically turned one unit of Spartans into Spartansicles. My original intention had been to have whichever of Saffron's scouts found them show me where they were, then smash them to pieces before they ever unfroze. They're not here for anything diplomatic, and they're at least as dangerous as an equal number of equivalent sized Dragons, so I didn't even feel much guilt about executing them.

Then I remembered the way my Murder Mittens feels about Spartans and realized I couldn't hog all the fun to myself. Which is about when I realized that executing motherfuckers really shouldn't be 'fun'. Yeah, if I happen to enjoy fighting in a climactic way, that's just another reason for folks to surrender and talk things out, but this wouldn't be combat. Wouldn't be something to demonstrate the folly of fighting and direct dipshits to distinctly desirable diplomacy.

This is going to be an execution, and I shouldn't be enjoying an execution. I'd say 'nobody should', but I'm absolutely planning on suggesting the Maenads go down and deal with this, what with the Spartans declaring a genocidal war on their entire subspecies centuries ago. That's also why I figure they're gonna enjoy the fuck out of that shit. Seriously, 'tearing people limb from limb' is a Holy Sacrament for them, and they're purpose built to enjoy doing that shit.

I'm not gonna get in the way of that particular Vengeance, nor those Homicides, nor that Bloodlust. I just realized as I started working through those that I'm gonna wind up getting Worshipped for this, and I really don't know how to feel about it. On the one hand, I've never been completely comfortable with those Domains. Kinda shitty and hypocritical of me, what with me absolutely embodying them multiple times each.

Yeah, I went to Diana's Temple to rescue Isnomi, but it was Vengeance that wound up happening instead, Vengeance that made our little girl into a Primordial, into one of the most dangerous entities in the cosmos if I'm not wrong. Same thing happened a Season later at the Battle of the Walls, more or less. The Morrigan might not be dead or eaten, but she sure as shit felt the blunt edge of Vengeance.

The Battle of the Walls, my Conquest of Norfolk, my execution of the Spartans who disarmed Anna, all of those were Bloodlust set loose. And one way or another I've Justified every single person I've killed. Yeah, other than the poor bastards at the Battle of the Walls, I don't really feel guilty about any of them any more, and even there they were nominally armed and armored. But that's just the thing, mass murderers and tyrants always have justifications for what they do.

Yeah, mine is maybe a little less threadbare than 'I really wanted to', but holy fuck I've actually done shady shit for exactly that reason. Okay, yeah, to the best of my shitty recollection I got at least implied and generally explicit Consent for each of those, and in each case the end result was 'and wildly powerful orgasms were had by all involved', but still that's some very disturbing shit to realize about myself.

Seriously, I gotta be extra special careful and I am not going anywhere near Jackville until those Spartans are dealt with. To skip back from my unfortunately ubiquitous digression, on the other hand, Jack was the one who froze them all, which means he ought to be getting the lion's share of any Worship the Maenads direct toward anybody but Dionysus. I really didn't do shit except find which tower they'd hit and let Jack know. I don't deserve any of that.

On the gripping hand, I'm pretty sure I'm gonna wind up getting some of that Worship anyhow, because I don't have any actual direct control over who Worships me for what. Which means I'm gonna have Saffron tell them, I think. The more distance the better, the more Worship will flow to Jack and D, both of whom need it way more than me. I'm still kinda feeling the depression weighing on me. Saffron's use of the dopamine and endorphin button helped, I think.

It kept it to more of a 'settling into a lethargic, contemplative, vaguely guilty lump' rather than 'crashing so hard I left a dent in my own Maw'. Watching the others helped too. Honestly, I think holding Siobhan helped more than anything, although I'm not sure if it was the skin to skin contact, the cute little noises she made when she popped off, or some combination thereof. Really, it's probably both, although I'm not sure if there was any kind of synergistic effect.

I read once that skin to skin contact releases oxytocin, which helps produce serotonin, and if dopamine is kind of like jet propulsion, serotonin is more like helium. It just makes everything lighter. I wonder if that's why I'm so against 'gravitas', what with metaphoric psychological emotional gravity being one of my big problems. At any rate, after Saffron told me there are... Motherfucker, I just did the math.

One hundred fifty Spartans came across the Atlantic, probably in the wake of the kaiju, to fuck with the Alliance in general and probably me in specific. I killed one up by Boltophsberg. I killed another twenty five at the next captured watchtower south of there.

Okay, killed twenty-four and ejected one from Alliance territory with enough force that if he didn't engage orbital mechanics or skip like a stone, he's stuck in the Atlantic for the foreseeable, and that's if Sister doesn't find him and feed him to Leviathan. Jack froze another twenty five, thus taking them out of play. That's twenty-five times two plus one, or fifty-one Spartans accounted for. Leaving me with ninety-nine fuckin' problems, and a Spartan is every single fuckin' one. So yeah. Went home.

Thought about things. Realized that last bit just as dinner time hit. Helped Marie get dinner on the table, then grabbed Saffron and yoinked her to the Bedroom. This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

"I am annoyed to the point of being angry right now, and I don't want to do something stupid while I'm mad that makes a self-hating crash inevitable." I glanced at where my fingers pressed into her bicep, then jerked my hand away like I'd burned it. She just smiled at me, flexing her arm a little.

"What has you annoyed?" I huffed out a sigh.

"The Fates and their persistent, recurring crack habit." That got me a slight snicker from her, followed by a 'go on' gesture.

"Just realized that the current number of active Spartans in Atlantis matches up with an old song I remembered from back in the day." She cocked her head.

"The one about bottles of beer on the wall?" She shook her head, looking speculative.

"I must admit, I hadn't thought about 'passing them around'. Probably because it's better than they deserve. But perhaps you could pop their tops off first, as one is wont to do with bottles of beer?" I blinked.

"Are... are you suggesting we sexually desecrate decapitated Spartan bodies?" She raised an eyebrow.

"I rather thought that was your idea. Was it not?" I shook my head, at least as much at remembering that Saffron is in fact usually several steps ahead of me when it comes to committing atrocities with malice aforethought as to tell her no. I mean, she doesn't do them, I think because she thinks I'd be disappointed in her, but she definitely has impulses that way. Guess we're good for each other that way, her trying to be better for me, me trying to be better for her.

I just need to make sure she never finds out that I'd probably be more turned on than upset. Which I absolutely know is true for her regarding me. Yeah, we're a disaster waiting to happen walking a tightrope, but we're trying.

"Wrong song. I was thinking of one called 'ninety-nine problems'. No idea why the synchronicity annoys me so much this time, but it does." She shrugged.

"So go down and visit your wrath upon the ones Jack Frost froze. I assure you, it is fully justified." I shook my head.

"Not gonna. That's... No. Non starter." Something she said struck me odd.

"How do you know? Other than, y'know, Spartan invaders?"

"They took trophies from those assigned to the watchtower." Rage suffused me, but I still growled out.

"No." A strange, fey look overcame my Kitten, and she flopped back onto the bed.

"So, will you vent your wrath upon me, then? Just to be clear, I mean take me in as violent a manner as you like, I Consent to be the object of your righteous wrathful Passion." My breath through my nose felt like fire.

"No... Not... Not like this." She writhed, and if the bonds around her weren't as well placed or secured as Mittens would have done, they clearly left her completely at my mercy.

"Like this then?"

"Saffron..." She smiled at me.

"You want to vent this off in a way that won't cause you to feel guilt. I'm in a mood, not entirely unrelated to you being so wrathful. Say the word 'stop' and I stop." I stood there, practically panting.

"Like this then?" She tugged at my Shapeshifting, pulling me into boy mode.

"Fuck no."

"Pity. Well, in an effort to get 'fuck yes', how about this?" He lay there, just as helpless. I shook my head. She tugged again, her eyes drifting down my front as she pulled me back to girl mode.

"Like this?" A while later I collapsed as she shifted back, arms going around me as I did.

"Well. Preferred combination for angry guilt free sex noted."

"How do you know it was guilt free?"

"Your word salad seemed quite virulent and inspired. Are you guilty in the slightest?"

"Should I be?"

"Not on my account. Are you?" Sometimes she made me feel like a kid. Fuck it, I'm sure I did the same to her now and then.

"No. Dunno if that'll be my preference every time though."

"Oh, no. My lover's proclivities are a more complicated puzzle than I previously imagined. Whatever shall I do?" I snorted.

"Knowing you? Enjoy playing with me until you figure them out." She laughed.

"Then enjoy knowing them and using that knowledge mercilessly until they inevitably Change over time." She pulled me down, rubbed her face against my breasts, then pushed me down her front until my head laid against hers.

"Now, are you feeling better?" I took a deep breath and took stock of my internal landscape.

"Eh. Not nearly as pissed as I was. Still kinda deflating, but that's better than exploding in this case I think. Mind if I... No, wait. I need you to tell Sarah, Marie, and the Maenads to take care of those Spartans in Jackville." Unfortunately, my Kitten is both faster on the uptake than she has any right to be, and stubborner than she is smart.

"No. No, I shall not. In fact," Marie? Murder Mittens showed up a moment later.

"Yes, Yunya?" Saffron picked me up, rolled me over, and flopped me back down atop her. Sweater puppies best pillows. Then she said, "tell her."

"But I..."

"This is non negotiable, love. This will garner you some measure of Worship. Not only deservedly so, but I believe it may help with your mood." I sighed.

"Tell me you're sure that I'm not being greedy, or abusive, or anything else bad."

"You're not."

"Are you lying to me?" Her breasts shifted as she shrugged.

"I would, but I need not. Since it matters to you, I see no reason you should feel guilty for benefiting from facilitating completely Justified Vengeance. Now. Tell her." I sighed, nodded, and turned to Marie.

"Can you bring Sarah, please? I think she ought to hear this at the same time." Marie raised one eyebrow, but a moment later Sarah appeared.

"Imperator? Champion?"

"Goddess." corrected Marie.

"Not really an issue to me, Mittens. I wanted to let you both know that there are twenty-five Spartans in Jackville who have been frozen solid by Jack. I don't think we should let them thaw, and I think you and your sisters deserve to be the executioners."

"Cold?" Marie's question tripped my translation, so I nodded and said, "yeah, Jack Frost froze them solid. Icy. Might be colder than their surroundings, and probably won't thaw until spring." The Maenads exchanged a long, speaking look, then Sarah said, "morning?" Marie nodded, then turned back to me. Well, to Saffron, really.

"Hold Her." Yeah, two Maenads expressing their gratitude hit different. Passed out with Marie's pumpkin spice coated tongue taste testing my tonsils as Sarah's got her own pumpkin spice coating. Slept until afternoon, woke up in bed with Siobhan and Isadora both using me as a pillow, Hailee peering intently at her belly as she lay there. Felt oddly better rested than I had been for a while.

"Saffron asked me to tell you that the Maenads have begun."

"Just begun? Figured it wouldn't take them all that long." She shuddered a little, but didn't really flinch when she said, "they're taking their time."