Chương 891: Day Eight Hundred And Eighty-Nine

Dear Diary, So, Yule is coming up, and that means I need to get presents. Okay, maybe 'need' is a little strong. If we were still back at the Academy, with no real income to speak of like we were back in my first Season here, or we were all living in my old row house from back in the day, I'm sure the kids would be satisfied with Marie's cooking and maybe whatever we could scrounge up. But here and now, where we've got a three wing mansion in built into a mountain, I think we can do better.

I mean, I'm just thinking the collected wealth in the Homestead, too. I'm sure Saffron knows how to turn the ongoing income from our Homestead into cash, and she works right across the river from one of the two biggest ports in Atlantis.

Shit, while I'm sure she won't actually steal anything or coerce somebody into giving her something for free, I'm equally sure that if there's something for sale, she's not only going to get the best deal possible, if there are limited supplies of something one of our daughters want, she's gonna get some of those limited supplies. Similarly, Tallulah is the government in Rich Man's Port.

An autocrat in every sense of the word now that she's got me as a club to respond to anyone trying to remove her from that top spot. Part of me feels a little guilty about that, by the way, but I'm torn, what with her being the Sidhe monarch. Like, yeah, she's got Mortals among the people she rules, but she's also got immortals, and that's the flip side of the equation; Immortals ruled by a Mortal ruler are gonna have some advantages that the Mortals are gonna have a hard time countering.

Maybe at some point in the future I need to sit down with her and have a talk about maybe having some kind of Mortal co-ruler. But be that as it may, she's got plenty of money and clout to make sure that whatever gifts she gets our kids are gonna be the nicest shit money can buy here and now. Marie. Holy shit, Wifiest Wife ever to Wife Marie is going to make them stuff. Handmake them clothes so good that they won't mind getting clothes.

Yeah, I know Maenads run around naked half the time, and I know my kits are at least half Maenad, but given how fast they're growing I definitely want them to get in the habit of putting clothes on before they go visiting folks in Phileo. Shit, I want them clothed before they go visiting Lancaster. Yes, I'm well aware of the whole idea of a naked woman with a sack of gold being safe to walk across Temujin's demesnes unmolested, but I see absolutely no reason to tempt fate.

Besides, full nude just seems rude in places like a restaurant or, I dunno, anyplace you wouldn't wear a string bikini for health reasons. Not sure what Siobhan is likely to get anybody. Then again, if anybody has a reason to tap out on gifting, it's the woman who has had next to no nausea free hours for the past, I dunno, couple hundred days. Of course, she's surprised me before.

But I'm keeping my expectations for 'gifts from Siobhan' down in 'hugs, kind statements, and mutually mind blowing quickies' territory at least until she gets that little one on the outside. So there's two moms who can buy whatever's available, and one who can make anything makeable. I'm pretty sure I find some way to get folks to give me stuff for my kids, but that just seems kinda sleazy.

I'm definitely gonna help Marie with baking and cooking and all things food related; I'm even gonna try to prep ahead of time this time, maybe sort out some stuff that we can cook before Yule to last us through the whole Yule season. But I think I'm gonna lean kinda heavy on doing what only I can do. Stealing shit from my old world.

Yeah, I know it's not actually 'stealing', since I'm copying whatever it was, but I'm not really making it myself or buying it, and 'copying' just sounds lame for something I'm gonna give somebody as a gift. I'm not even sure why 'stealing' sounds better in my head, but it does. Maybe it's that whole 'growing up poor' thing. So I've got seven days to prep for Yule, and seventeen offspring and four partners to plan for.

Oh, shit, I just remembered, I probably ought to get at least my High Clergy something nice for Yule as well. Which, to be honest, isn't adding all that much, what with the overlap of 'partners who live with me' and 'High Clergy'. Shit, all the adults who've wound up sleeping in the bedroom are High Clergy. Makes sense, I guess, at least from my perspective, what with those being the people I most want to watch over, keep safe, and empower to live their best lives.

This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere. i really wish that thinking that last bit didn't make me feel like someday I might not be part of that best life, but fuck it, I remember that much from Amnesia Time. If I don't know how long I've got, I'm gonna make the most of every instant from now until then.

At any rate, that's twenty four 'people I must present presents to' on my list, and seven days to find the Perfect Gift, or at least a Reasonable Approximation of Such for each of them. Six days if I don't want to push it to the wire, and at this point I really, really don't. So that means four people a day. I hate to do it this way, because the logical part of my brain says to do the hard part first, so I've got the easy ones to do last, but I'm trying to do better.

So while the early ones might be simplistic, they're also gonna be done, so I don't have them hanging over my head. I'm not sure if Isadora is actually narcoleptic, or depressed, or any kind of negative thing, but none of them show up when Siobhan Assess her, which it turns out she does to all the kits and kids on the regular. She is, after all a professional Healer along with being an Archmage and our collective eager squeaky toy.

But at any rate, the one thing Isadora has definitely seemed happiest doing is sleeping. She's not even awful about getting up and playing, but if nobody's got anything for her to do with them, she kinda nods off. So I'm getting her one of those big fancy body pillows. I've got one picked out that's like twice as long as she is. I kinda want to get one with some kind of art on it, but all the ones I've Scried up have Anime characters, and most of those aren't wearing much more clothes than the kits do most days.

Y'know, I'm really glad the Homestead has integral heating. No idea how it works, but so long as somebody's not in one of the front halls, they're good. I'm thinking for Karen I'm gonna get her the best selling Romance novels from this past year. There's gotta be some good ones in amongst them. For Orla, and no I'm not regifting this or cheaping out, I'm just going for low hanging fruit, I'm gonna get her a weight set.

Might be a little more comprehensive than Alex's, but only because as a fully grown adult woman who is both my High Clergy and a Calverton Mage Knight, I'm guessing she can lift a fuckton more right off the bat than Alex can. I think I'm gonna get Vulcan a nice gun kit. The kind of thing with six kinds of brushes, three kinds of oils, a couple nice chamois, y'know all the things you use to clean and buff a gun.

Only, know, if I can find a kit like that for a crossbow it would be even better, although those might have stuff he doesn't need, like wood care items. I really don't want him thinking I got him something that isn't personalized, even if, y'know, it's not. Okay, look, I just want it to be as him as I can. Shit, that probably means I need to get him some porn somehow. Y'know what, fuck it, I'm gonna figure out what his birthday is and put that off until then.

So yesterday, after a night watching the highlights of my ladies battling against the kaiju, I spent the day playing with the kids. Both the kids here at the Homestead and the kids in the Temple of Love, because apparently there are a bunch living there now. I helped Marie out at the Academy, although they're kind of winding up the year, so that wound up being weird mix of 'holiday stuff' and 'getting ready to head out, so all the clothes need to be washed'. Marie and I also returned to our bodyguard duties.

Saffron very pointedly dropped me in the Bedroom with Orla, with instructions about doing unto her as I had to Siobhan, as the 'consummation of her ordination'. That's got me a little weirded out, but when I think about it rationally, it shouldn't. I mean, seriously, I'm in her head, being wrist deep in her vag when I literally hear her fantasizing about seeing if she can fit me in to the elbow isn't exactly some kind of ethical dilemma, but some part of me still thinks it ought to be.

Probably my dark alter-ego being all ODD about things or something similar. In the morning I quietly asked Saffron, "when are you gonna let me do that to you?"

"Who says I'm going to?" I just stared at her until she giggled.

"Oh, you should see your face. Of course I am. But I'm going to let you practice first. I'm going after Marie, Tallulah, and your other High Clergy."

"Saving the best for last?" She nodded, and I kissed her. Sounds like a plan. Indeed. Felt the tiniest bit guilty when I paid a quick visit to my other Temples only to find that they, too, have orphanages. So today I split myself across all my Temples, singing silly songs, playing around, and just generally spending time with all the kids. Indoors, because the snow has hit hard. At the Homestead, that meant spending the morning in the stables and the afternoon in the kitchen.

I think maybe I need to get some good board games or something for us. Definitely ought to get some of those for the kids at the Temples. I still snerked a little when I thought about the winter before last, the one I led the Expedition to Lancaster House. Guess me being Team Mom shouldn't have been that big of a surprise.