Chương 928: Day Nine Hundred And Twenty-Six

Dear Diary, I definitely think there's some humor to be had in the fact that somehow, despite my utter inability to adhere to anything like a schedule or plan, my very first thing similar to a 'long term plan' upon being isekaied has actually worked out. I'm talking about the 'Graduate', 'Become A Hero', '???', 'PROFIT!' plan, of course. I don't consider 'meet the other Cadets on Monday' or 'sneak out to check out the local social scene' actual plans as such. Those were barely ideas.

I'd say 'and not good ones', but that second one is how I wound up with dear old dad. Who, now that he's no longer starving to death for lack of Worship, ought not die on me any time soon. The same goes for Mom. Yeah, that is in fact something I worry about. You'd be surprised how few parents a kid has to lose before they start getting a little bit antsy when people in that role are less than perfectly healthy.

Which, to be clear, Loki is not, but he's more 'still recovering, but with an excellent prognosis' nowadays. Way better than 'demise imminent'. No longer making Fortitude Saves every round to keep from losing Hit Points. Yeah, I forgot that I stole those tabletop RPG books for Maze for Yule. She, of course, did not. But as I often do, I digress. That's why I'd never have succeeded as a speed run streamer.

I start out thinking 'yeah, just gonna play a melee beast and stick to the main questline', and the next thing I know I'm a stealth archer sniping racists and fascists. Digression, it's what's for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and adults only salty sour snacks. My original point is that when I look at what I've got here and now, I've succeeded. Yeah, there's shit I still need to do. Raise my kits. Rescue Mom and Dad from Odin's prison. Spring Fenrir and remove all the stupid limitations Hel's been working under.

Revive and restore Mom and Dad's other boys, my other brothers. Maybe administer some Justice to the Norse Pantheon while I'm at it. Put more kits in my Murder Mittens' muffin oven. Rescue her sisters. Kick the ever living shit out of anyone who objects to any of that. Put a baby in Saffron. Let her do the same to me.

Holy shit I am not just thinking that with a lack of panic, I'm actively eager, to the point where I need to be very careful with any of those 'do unto others' portions of that plan, because while I am not averse to being an agent of karma, I do not want to apply permanent painful consequences to somebody just because they have somehow placed themselves between me and my muffin oven operating as designed.

Okay, my recent revelations about my own nature make it clear why Saffron has never promised to put a bun in my oven. She's promised to try, and I know she will, and I have absolute confidence that if such a thing can happen, she'll make it happen, but... I'm a tentacle. Fuck, I'm a tentacle tip, really. When all Blend is down, I'm one tentacle tip out of thousands upon thousands of tentacles surrounding a Maw larger than some small towns. I'd say there's no way I can possibly wind up getting pregnant. Except.

Except. Marie. I put babies in Marie's belly. Eight of the little buggers, and they're all healthy and happy and maybe a little rambunctious in some cases but each of them is absolutely a little victory flag in the game of life. Speaking of kids, yes, Maze reminded me that I'd gotten her one of those starter kits for a tabletop RPG. Y'know, the ones where you choose a race and a class and move little figures around the table and beat up bad guys and save the town and shit.

She brought the whole boxed set up to me at dinner.

"Mama?"

"Yeah?" She held the box out.

"When are you gonna play this with me?" I reached out and pulled her into my lap, holding the box up out of the pizza I'd been eating.

"You know this is kinda a group game, right?" Her head tilted.

"How big of a group?" I shrugged.

"I've never played myself, but I think you're supposed to have four players and somebody to run the game. Like a referee." If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation. She thought about that while I held the box and her. She took the opportunity to steal my pizza which, honestly, I was fine with. I don't need the food, and Maze isn't exactly the kind of kid to eat if she's not hungry.

"Can you be the referee?" I opened my mouth, then closed it. Thought about my answer first. Finally settled on, "well, I kinda thought you'd want to do that, since it's kind of like being the storyteller for a group story, but yeah, I can do that for you if you want. At least for the first adventure. Then you can decide if you want to do it next time, okay?" After finishing off most of the rest of my pizza, then feeding me the crusts, because of course she did, she said, "okay. Does it have to be four people?"

I shrugged.

"Like I said, I haven't played before, but that's how it's supposed to go. Did you want to include all of your sisters?" She shuddered.

"I love her, but not Isnomi. Not this time." I laughed a little, looking to where Anise, Felicia, and Menace were bickering over the last piece of garlic pizza.

"Okay. Tell you what, you find three other girls who want to play, and we'll play." I paused.

"Maybe ask Ria? And Alex?"

"Alex?" I nodded.

"Yeah. She wants to be a Hero. I'm not sure how accurate this kind of thing is to real life, but she'll get to play at being one. Worst case, she doesn't like it and we find somebody else next time." She nodded again.

"Okay, Papa. I'll talk to them during bath time, so we'll be ready to play tomorrow morning!" Yeah, she was so excited I couldn't exactly tell her 'no' at that point. Shit, I couldn't even tell her 'wait'. The best I could do was waggle the boxed set and say, "I'm gonna borrow this and read through it tonight so I'm ready in the morning, okay?" I did watch while she did her quiet recruiting at bath time.

At least until Saffron floated over to me and whispered, "you are so fucking hot when you're maternal and domestic."

"Hey, she's our kid, I'm gonna do my best by her." Sudden serious eyes hiding a wave of mischief I felt deep in my bones, she said, "such a devoted Papa. Staying up all night to prepare this game for your daughters to play."

"I mean, it's what you do... Wait, what do you mean all night?" She just grinned at me, and a moment later I flopped to the Bed with the boxed set landing next to me. Saffron stood at the end of the bed in boots, stockings, garters and belt and nothing else. She nodded toward the box while she stretched. Like, pre-athletic activity stretching.

"Well. Get to reading."

"Why do I think you're going to be distracting me?"

"Because you're a very smart woman. You're also going to be reading out loud."

"I am? Why?" She lay her hands on my thighs, slid her thumbs maybe an inch along them, just enough to make my whole fuckin' body twitch, then froze and said, "because any time you stop reading, I'm going to stop."

"Stop what?" She just Grinned at me. Then bent forward just a little as she arched her back enough that it popped. Then leaned forward, froze, and looked at me.

"Reading aloud, huh?" She nodded.

"Is there gonna be a test afterward?"

"Oh, of course there will be."

"Ah, well. Okay then. I'll do my best." She smiled, sighed, and as I pulled the first book out of the box, said, "I know you will. And not even because I'm about to do this, or because Marie and I are going to reward you with copious amounts of debauchery tomorrow night after you've spent the day teaching our daughters how to enjoy this theater of the mind."

"Wait, did you read this book already?"

"Of course. How else could I test you on it?"

"Okay then. Wait, so why am I doing this again?" She just smiled, settled her chin down until it hovered just over my belly.

"To make our daughters smile. Which is exactly why you deserve every bit of reward we're going to give you."

"Don't you deserve some kind of reward?" She shrugged.

"We can get to that when we get to that." I opened the book, scanned through it, then realized.

"Every one of those rewards you deserve are going on the ledger, isn't it?"

"Maybe. Start reading, Goof." I started. So did she. Oddly, it wound up mostly being like a fidget spinner or something. Only, y'know, not. But I managed to read all the way through and ace the test she gave me.

"Of course, now I've been up all night." She yawned just a little.

"But are you tired?" I blinked.

"Uh, no? Huh. Wait, Worship?" She grinned.

"Just so. Also, because you did so very well learning the rules of this game our daughter wants to play..." A quick Shapeshift later and he stood there in all his delectable glory.

"I'll be napping today, I think." Never had Saffron pour every bit of her Skill and Endurance into, like, some small number of minutes before. Skill, Endurance, Worship, she collapsed onto me at the end, murmuring, "you'll want a shower, Goof." I tucked her into the Bed, kissed her forehead, and collected all the bits of the boxed set together. Maze brought her adventuring party to me after breakfast, and we adjourned to my office.

It was a little on the chilly side, but not actually cold, and all of the girls had their onesies. I moved my desk to the middle so we could set the map out there. And so began the epic adventure of Maze the Mage, Alex the Warrior, Ria the Priestess, and Lindsey the Scout. Never thought I'd be the ones encouraging our girls to get their nerd on. Still, surprisingly fun. I think we might start doing this on the regular.