Chương 918: Day Nine Hundred And Sixteen

Dear Diary, I'm really enjoying the time here at the Homestead. I mean from one angle that's kind of dead obvious that I would. Everyone that I love is here. Well, everyone that I love as part of my nuclear family, because I think it would not be entirely inappropriate to say I love my Worshippers. I dunno if I'm ride or die for them, but I've definitely gone out of my way to make them happy in deeply personal ways.

I'm even working with the smartest woman in the world to do the 'less possible than two women getting each other pregnant' thing and put a baby in my femboy's belly. Okay, he's not really my femboy. Just my friend and Priest and the guy who wants to play dam to my sire and holy fuckin shit I have a femboy. Like, I'm pretty sure that if he were asked the question 'who do you belong to' he'd write 'Tabitha Diaz'. Proudly, with a sense of bragging even. I never wanted to own a femboy.

Shit, I think I've made it clear with how deeply disturbed I started out regarding the title 'Concubine' that I never really wanted to own anybody. I never said 'Cherry, you're my little pet and I'm gonna pump you full of baby' or anything like that. I didn't click 'accept' on the quests for 'find a femboy', 'acquire a femboy' or 'get a femboy pregnant', yet somehow I've wound up two steps into that quest and working on the third step. I didn't do any of that. It... Fuck. It Just Happened. Oh. Oh, shit.

Maybe that's a part of that whole 'Changing the world into my Perfect Paradise' or some shit like that. Maybe I have always secretly wanted a femboy to impregnate and never let myself fantasize about it back in the day because... No, I can't even finish that sentence, because if my sister did the dumbest thing possible and looked through my browser history, she's gonna find some shit that makes my Fridays at the Temples seem vanilla.

Not even regular missionary vanilla, but the special kind of vanilla where you're both wearing Magic Underwear and there's a sheet with a special hole cut in it, and she has to keep her hands clasped in prayer through the whole thing lest she succumb to lewd thoughts while he's pumping his baby batter in, and he's got to stare at a picture of Gerald Ford and say some dumb shit like, 'it is done' when he finishes, after which they both need to ritually cleanse themselves lest the baby be born Fabulous.

Fuck, I don't know what vanilla people do. Just that the Puritans hated fun, hated sex, and thought that since sex is apparently critical to the continuation of the species, all the fun and joy had to be sucked out of it. Personally, I think something else is entirely more appropriate when it comes to 'sucking things out of it', but as has been noted that does not result in baby making. It's like pancakes; you will never have pancakes if you swallow all the batter.

Anyway, my family is here at the Homestead, and the place was built with me and relaxation in mind. There's a bed big enough for the whole family, enough rooms for everybody to have their own space, a Bath big enough for the whole family to soak at once, with water hot enough to melt Satan's asshole shut, and a Bedroom with a bespoke mirrored fuckbed with built in fucktoys. If somehow I need to make my own afterlife, this wouldn't be too far from it.

Okay, if I were given a choice between the Homestead and that cottage by the sea, I might dither a bit. Okay, a lot. Maybe if Saffron and I were both somehow retired, I'd go for the cottage and let one of the girls take over here. I'm sure one of them will want to sit in the big chair eventually. Well, a big chair, anyhow, and right now the fam has three of them. Four if you count Adrienne, since right at the moment, with it being winter, she's actively part of Jack.

Kinda the reverse of that old joke about the dude who's playing video games with his son, gets pissed and says, 'I fucked your mom last night', and the kid snaps back with, 'I've been deeper inside her than you'll ever be'. At any rate, if Saffron retires and we both move to the cottage, that'll leave the Imperator's chair and the Homestead for somebody to run. Big shoes. I certainly wouldn't want to fill them. At any rate, spent yesterday and today playing table games with Anise and Felicia.

I taught them how to play eight ball back when I was spending the day with Davey, but yesterday, after spending the night cuddling my Emotional Support Cleavage, Saffron sent me to play with Anise. I pretended not to notice how she pretended not to get a little choked up saying Anise's name. Still. Not that I think she dislikes it in any way whatsoever. But I think when she looks at our little eldest kit, part of her sees her Grandma.

I mean, shit, given how snarky she can get with Felicia, which I did not realize until yesterday, not to mention her general 'gave all my fucks and chill away long, long ago', she's definitely living up to her namesake. This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere. While the three of us hung in the guess room that's become the table gaming room, the rest of the girls took over the kitchen.

To hear Sigyn and Marie tell it, they practically carried both of them up to the Bath, dumped them in, and told them to take a break. My girls are learning, too; they stuck to stuff that's hard to fuck up, which meant things were kinda simple, but still pretty damn good. Grilled sandwiches, but more in the 'grilled cheese' direction than proper pressed paninis. Simple fried rice, and by that I actually mean simple, as in rice, egg, and some diced veggies.

Not sure who did the dicing, and my sphincter clenched briefly when I realized that meant one or more of them had been using sharp knives. Then I thought about it, politely asked Hailee if I could look at one of her fingers, and realized that yes, my kits have claws. Not a lot of point worrying about them getting to the sharp knives when three of them are armed and nine of them have built in weaponry. They also did a simple stew.

Just meat, potatoes, carrots, and some water or broth or something, all in a covered crock and cooked all day. All of it tasting awesome and falling apart by the time dinner arrived. At Bath time, the kids mostly seemed ready to quietly self-entertain, but despite all the adults being available to talk, none of us wanted to. Okay, nobody felt the need to, I guess, so we all just floated there chilling.

Well, okay, poor choice of verb, despite us all being sedate and relaxed, since the reason all of us were sedate and relaxed had to do with the stupidly high temperature of the water.

"Kitten?"

"Yes, Goof?"

"Howja get so hot? So water? No. So water hot?" She'd chuckled quietly at my first misstatement, muttering something that sounded suspiciously like 'genetics' while I fumbled my way through my question, after which she shrugged, which almost distracted me from her actual explanation, which was, "fire aligned Mana reservoir under the Homestead."

"Isn't that, like, limited though?" She shrugged.

"You might see the end of it if we use it at this rate. Siobhan won't unless someone gifts her with immortality. Or she does it herself."

"I couldn't?" Siobhan sounded like she wanted to be all 'well I never', but the hot water made it melt until it came out, 'would I'. Saffron just smiled, shrugged again, which made me realize she was doing it for my benefit, so I kinda rooch-floated around until my head rested on her chest, after which she said, "you are an Archmage, Darling. I'm sure you could if you wanted to and put your mind to it."

Siobhan looked mildly put out, and when I kinda raised an eyebrow at her she pouted a little and almost whined, "but if I'm immortal, how am I to spend my afterlife in our Goddess' Bedroom?" I snorted.

"First World Problems." Everybody gave me a weird look, so I restated.

"Rich people problems."

"But I'm not..." She trailed off as every adult in the bath just looked at her.

"Oh."

"Yes. Oh. Consider it part of the compensation for all your misery over the past year." Siobhan shook her head, but Tallulah is the one who spoke.

"Surely it hasn't been a full year yet?" Saffron just shrugged again, sucking the back of my head deeper into the embrace of my Emotional Support Cleavage.

"It has been three seasons since our wedding. Three quarters of a year, most of it spent in misery. Hopefully before too much longer, our Darling will let us meet our little bundle, and this awful pregnancy will give way to joyous motherhood." Siobhan opened her mouth, then closed it again to smile and join me on my pillow. Which kinda shoved Saffron a little underwater, but she wound up a good sport about it. Barely teased us with her arms around our chests at all. There were kids watching, after all.

The ladies in the Maw watched me snuggling my new woobie on the big screen with the kind of rapt attention usually reserved for home movies of grandchildren. By morning they'd each snagged a tentacle and cuddled it. Okay, the cuddling got kinda intense, in that 'would have been screaming in Ecstasy if they weren't fully submerged and dissolving' way, but that did not reduce its ability to boost my serotonin levels at all.

In the morning I asked Saffron who was on the docket for the day, and she replied, "after spending yesterday with Anise, do you think you'll be allowed to do aught but spend today with Felicia?"

"How... I spent it with both of them, though?" She just shook her head.

"Do you think that kind of logic applies to their little sibling rivalry?" I sighed.

"yeah, no, probably not." So I spent another day with them. Pool, for the most part. Some ping-pong, because much like I'm not classy enough for billiards, I'm not skilled enough for table tennis. I helped them set up the foosball table, which had kinda gotten set aside when the girls started playing pool on Yule. It turned out the air hockey table was gonna take an electric outlet, so that had to wait until Saffron ran one into the room.

Of course, in the middle of the afternoon, during a 'conversation' that was eighty percent sibling bicker by volume, they hit me with one of those real out of the blue questions. Anise, specifically, because of course she was the one to hit me with it.

"Mama, when are we gonna get our own rooms like the other girls?"