Chương 927: Day Nine Hundred And Twenty-Five

Dear Diary, Kinda funny, I was thinking about how when I got here, I was all about the endorphins. Okay, not right when I got here. Call it forty seven days or so after I got isekaied. Yes, I remember our anniversary. Sort of. No fuckin' clue what the date was when we hooked up. I know we got married the day after the Equinox. Which, here and now, means on the Autumn Equinox.

Shit, yes, I've got a cheat code for remembering my anniversary with Saffron, what with it being a major astronomical, social, and I guess economic event, what with a lot of the Alliance government doing the 'do fuck all four weeks out of every year', centered on the Solstices and Equinoxes. Oh, fuck, now I gotta figure out how many days after the Spring Equinox, AKA New Years, Saffron and I married Marie.

What with that being our other anniversary, not to mention Marie's official 'birthday' being the day after that. Whoa. I just realized that not only did I wind up permanently marking my Tiger Wifey with that Sparagmos on our wedding night, by her own decision that's now her birthday. If I were to ask her, I'm pretty sure she'd tell me her official 'time of birth' is sunrise.

Now I'm wondering what that means in terms of shit like astrology, because I'm pretty sure that shit kind of weird woo might actually work here. I'm not gonna go so far as to say it does work, because I am slightly smarter than an equivalent mass of ass and titty fat, and I am painfully aware that if I say it works, it will start doing so.

Shit, with how Dad described Menace's Divine Woo, I'm not entirely sure it wouldn't start having done so, like the past would automatically rewrite itself to match astrological signs and shit. Nope. Not going down that particular rabbit hole. Wait, I can't remember if I've ever been in Rabbit's hole. Yeah, really crass way of describing it, whether I'm talking about her vag, her mouth, her ass, which I'm now wondering if it has a fluffy little tail, or wherever it is she calls 'home'.

Shit, calling her crib a 'hole' is probably the least offensive of those. Weird, I'm pretty sure I've called my own orifices 'holes' in some particularly pointed bits of mid-climax word salad, and I didn't offend myself, but calling Rabbit's orifice's holes seems offensive.

Saying it about Marie or Siobhan feels kinda sus, but in a lewd way, and Tallulah even more so, but calling Saffron's openings 'holes to be filled' is just, I dunno, feels like I wanna say 'duh', more than 'what did you say about my wife' and beat the shit out of myself. Maybe it's about how comfortable I am regarding intimacy with somebody; the better I am with being intimate with them, the more being crude about their body parts in a sexy times way makes me hot below the waist instead of between the ears.

I actually am okay with calling my own orifices 'holes', which means I'm okay with being intimate with me. Which, since ever since the first armored nookie attempt slash debacle, has been a question, so I'm gonna count that as self-love progress and check that box. Okay, I'm gonna get Saffron to check my box during my day with her.

Heh, so many different words for it, and for so many of them whether I'd get pissed or horny really depends on whether I'd be okay with the person using the word applying the appropriate verb to the noun. Hole? For filling. Box? For putting stuff in. Clam? For eating. Taco? See clam. Beaver? For stuffing, duh. Snatch? Okay, I'm not sure what the verb would be for that. At any rate, I digress. No, seriously, this time it was a digresception, digression within a digression within a digression.

Like, talking about slang terms for vagina and / or vulva was a digression from me thinking about whether I've banged Rabbit, which I now am putting on my 'to do' list along with mounting a dilemma head and, uh, lots of other shit which I'm certain I'll remember any time now. Banging Rabbit like a storm door in a hurricane was a digression from talking about me not wanting to empower astrology woo here and now, which was itself a digression from talking about anniversaries.

Which was a huge assed digression from talking about how when I got here, time spent with my intimate partner, then partners, was all about getting the endorphins to flow. Now, don't get me wrong, what with my chronic pain I still love me some endorphin release. There is nothing that works quite so well as getting the brain to say 'okay, okay, we get it, we're gonna block those damage reports coming from the body for a while'.

Okay, I've never had Actual Morphine™, but I've been drunk off my ass and high as a fuckin' kite, and might even have tripped balls once or twice, can't remember because there was definitely weed and possibly alcohol involved on those occasions, and neither acid nor booze nor even weed makes the pain go away like endorphins. But...

And just to be clear this is a nice but, almost as nice as Saffron's, which I managed to avoid mentioning when I talked about huge assed digressions, because even if hers is unusually large for someone her size, that makes it absolutely the right size to fill my hands or cover my face, so it is in fact all good in the hood.

At any rate, another digression there nipped in the butt, which I think I'm also gonna do tonight, because it's fun and she squeaks and says 'do it again' while thinking I don't know she's marking that down on both sides of the ledger.

Anyhow, back at the plot, which is another word for ass, yes I watched the fuck out of My Little Pony, as ought to be clear from my nickname for Mazikeen Aetos-Diaz, but I'm not going on yet another digression just yet, because I want to point out that after a while, probably sometime near when my sadistic sapphic tiny tyrant programmed an instant orgasm button into my brain, I stopped chasing endorphins quite so hard. That isn't to say I wasn't chasing neurotransmitters, but I'd switched my focus.

I wasn't frantically running away from the lows, I was deliberately courting the highs. I was chasing Dopamine, sucking down euphoria like the drug it is. As I hopefully made clear in my Doctrine, specifically in the Book of Ecstasy, I'm perfectly okay with other people chasing euphoria, so I'm not gonna feel guilty about doing it myself, so long as I'm not hurting anybody else. Okay, not hurting them in any kind of way that doesn't in fact blast their own brain full of euphoric happy brain chemicals.

I have a sudden urge to, next time Saffron is desperately in need of Penance, do that thing with the flogger again, only when I hit the point where she's just starting to bleed, I'm gonna lick that shit like sap right out of the sugar cane. I mean, before using that fancy no-scar Healing Shape on it. Kink yes, lasting harm no.

At any rate, I really ought to give up on mounting that dilemma head, because that bitch is a tease and will never put out, and just decorate my she shed with digression corpses, because I'm getting pretty fuckin' good at spotting them, yanking my train of thought back onto the correct track to get to the destination I'd been thinking of, and thus killing the shit out of those digressions. Which is, by the way, a massive measurable point of progress for somebody with completely untreated crippling levels of ADHD.

Okay, not untreated, I guess, with the family therapy and me tryna find better coping strategies, ones that don't involve beating myself up, instead focusing on offering myself Unlimited Saffronworks if I come back to the point often enough that I can finish whatever thought I started in on. Yeah, 'Unlimited Saffronworks' and 'come often enough' is a pretty good combo to base a digression on, but it's, like, a pregnant female digression, so I'm gonna let it go. Wait... Kitten? Are you pregnant? No.

Would you like me to be? Uh. Oh, shit. Um. Are we ready? That got me a big sigh in the ear. Not as much as I'd like, love. Uh. Would you feel some kinda way if I asked what, exactly, needs to get done for us to be ready? Like an itemized checklist to prepare us for Kitten impregnation? Oh. Oh, yes, absolutely. Oh. Yeah, sorry. I don't know how that woman can make me feel it when she smiles at me in my brain, but she can. Smiles, grins, warm and wicked impulses alike. Don't be. I'll have a list for you later.

And your just consequences for asking me that. Yeah, thing is, I started out chasing endorphins, because I needed something to kill the pain of all the times I needed to power myself with adrenaline and rage. I switched to chasing dopamine, because despite the frequent wrong turns into cortisol-ville, I'd had a taste of that high and craved it like the drug it is. But I think I've taken the next step.

Or maybe I'm in the middle of taking it, and I've taken enough steps to realize that I am, in fact, moving on to the next stage. Maybe. There is a not insignificant chance that much like an athlete or somebody else going through really intense physical therapy after a crippling injury, each step I take moves me a little further than the one before. Then again, life is not a training montage. In real physical therapy, the person undergoing therapy falls down a lot.

They reinjure themselves, either because they didn't do the therapy right, or they pushed too far too fast, or their therapists fucked up, or just because life is an absolute shitshow sometimes. No, I am not even going to joke about scheiss fetishes, even though I do love life, carnally and otherwise, as often as I can.

But that means that even though I've realized I'm taking a step into a new era of me, I'm not saying I'll never need to chase endorphins for their analgesic properties, or dopamine to drug the Black Dog into submission. Yeah, last digression, I promise, and if anybody believes that I will not con them into buying something because I am a Goddess and just decided I should be above doing con jobs on people just because I can, but they might wind up with a starring role at a Revel near them.

Because I've realized, and the past day with Saffron drove it home, hard, that I'm leaving the analgesic endorphins in the medicine cabinet for after big fights and shit, and keeping the dopamine in the cabinet next to the mead and Fae grain for celebratory purposes, but my new go to is absolutely the calm feeling of safety and acceptance from serotonin. At any rate, when I got done with my day with Ria, which turned into a weird kind of day with Ria and Panther, we all wandered back into the house for dinner.

Nobody'd gotten sweaty enough to need a visit to the showers before we ate, so instead of heading up we just headed straight to the Dining Room. I realized as the two of them walked in ahead of me, chatting about spear grips, that he was absolutely treating her like a younger cousin, or little sister. Or even maybe like a daughter, which I wound up surprisingly okay with.

The girls needed more examples of healthy masculinity, and while Lachlan, Linus, and Silk were surprisingly nontoxic, they were also kinda peas in a pod. Variety is the spice of life, and not every boy kisser is gonna want a himbo. I mean, okay, if they're as poly as our family seems to be, they'll probably want at least one himbo around for lifting heavy objects and hauling vast amount of ashes, but himbos may not be their eggy grilled cheese.

The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident. I realized as we walked, as I watched the two of them talk, that Ria might very well have been looking at Panther as, uh, eggy grilled cheese in boy form, which again wasn't something I felt entirely copacetic realizing. Then I thought about it and smiled, because I'd handled that okay with Maze, and while Panther struck me as a lot of things, 'untrustworthy' wasn't one of them.

Then again, I could be wrong about my little Sidhe girl. Her mom was, after all, sex-positive Ace as Fuck. Which wasn't exactly saying Panther's virtue was safe, what with Tallulah clearly being willing to use sex both for procreative and entertainment purposes. Fuck it, as noted, trustworthy, which meant I was gonna trust him. Okay, I'd be verifying later, but for now, trust.

Got in, let Panther sit between Tallulah and I, which put her between him and Ria, which meant she got to be the net in their ongoing tennis match talking about spear techniques. Had to bite my lip to keep from laughing when she stared at him for a bit, then thought, Goddess? May I? Okay, a little snicker trickled out, but I quietly replied, you don't have to ask me, T. You want, he agrees, you get, have fun. I am your Concubine. He is your Worshipper. Yeah, ask Marie about my opinions on that title.

Also, if none of the Worshippers who visit my Altar are getting it on with anyone else, I'm really curious how Cherry is making bank. She glanced up at me, then back at Panther, who I now realized wasn't oblivious to her watching him. So you do not object to me having sex with him? Yeah, just to be clear, I do not. Just, uh, while you're there let him know that I'm trusting that he knows our daughter is off limits for things like that? She raised an eyebrow.

I was in fact planning to audition him for a potential first for her, since she seems interested. I tensed up. Should he show acceptable talent, given another two decades of seasoning and training, he ought be an acceptable first partner. Twenty years? Yes? It took me a bit to process. So you're planning out our girl's first time twenty years in advance? She shrugged, very clearly ignoring how that shifted Panther's eyes to her chest. Not to much 'planning' as 'vetting'. Perhaps 'training'.

If he's at all an enjoyable partner, even if her tastes change, it shouldn't be an onerous task. Yeah, the two decades of planning for something like that surprised me. She smiled, one of those rare smiles of affection and amusement in equal measure that told me she'd really found both in my statement. I forget sometimes that you are only recently immortal. If you had the opportunity, would you not make sure any of the other girls' first times were enjoyable, did not ruin the experience for them?

I snorted, snerked, then thought, yeah, I think that'd be way too likely to wind up with some kind of mother daughter threesome if I tried some shit like that. Incest is gauche. Unless you think otherwise? Yeah, that had me laughing quietly, the best compromise I could make with my urge to laugh my ass off. Yeah, no, let's go with 'gauche', if that means 'something we're not gonna encourage'. Midway through our mental conversation, Saffron had slipped into my lap.

When Tallulah joined the conversation between Ria and Panther, she turned to me and whispered, "such a loving mother and partner," then kissed me.

"I'm just glad she agrees with me on the threesome thing." Saffron picked up a meatball, popped it in my mouth, then nearly choked me as I swallowed by saying, "of course there will be threesomes." Before I could clear my windpipe where I'd tried to breathe gravy, she smirked and said, "some of our daughters will want to share some third, and we'll need to make sure their potential partner is attentive to both of his partners in those situations."

I pulled her to me and kissed her, then fed her a meatball and whispered, "I can't tell if I hope you're joking or not. I mean, mostly not, because most of our girls won't be waiting two decades to start picking partners. Which is not a phrase I ever wanted to hear myself saying, but lets face it, I was in the first half of my second decade when I lost it, and from what you tell me you were too."

I looked over at Marie, who'd been putting meatballs in Siobhan's mouth then stroking her throat like gently pilling a cat.

"Same Here." Siobhan swallowed, put on an absolutely over the top pious look, then quietly intoned, "I waited until the ripe old age of nineteen before a goddess stole away every aspect of my maidenhood."

"I thought you gave it to me?" Holy fucking shit I did not know my cinnamon roll could put that much fucking smoke in her gaze.

"Oh, no, you absolutely gave it to me." Before I could reply, she smirked and whispered, "over, and over, and over again."

"Speaking of, would the two of you mind distracting everyone tomorrow?" When Marie and Siobhan looked at her curiously, Saffron explained, "I'd like to spend my Devotional day focused entirely on my Goddess." Siobhan smiled, which rapidly slipped back into a smirk, and said, "didn't your Devotional day start at sunset?"

"And I have done nothing save attend to my Goddess since."

"Would you mind awfully if I... We joined you for the first part of the night?" At Siobhan's question, Saffron looked at Marie, and after a moment of wordless communication, nodded. The rest of dinner went mostly uneventfully, with Saffron and I feeding each other meatballs in beef gravy. At bath time we helped one another shower, then she snuck in between me and the edge of the Bath, resting my head against her breasts as we lay there soaking in the heat.

Once we tucked the girls in, she took me by the hand and stepped us to the Bedroom. Bit of a comedic moment when not only did Marie do the same with Siobhan, but Tallulah brought Panther. Saffron plonked that fantastic ass down on the divan in that perfect viewing corner, slouched, and pulled me down so I lay along the divan with my head pillowed on her breasts again. She waved at Tallulah and patted the edge of the divan right about level with my breasts.

"If you could be so kind as to wait, our Darling is on a bit of a timer still." Siobhan pouted, opened her mouth, and Saffron spoke over her.

"Wife?" Marie growled back, "Yes, Wife?"

"Our Darling has complaints." In a tone of voice that had any girl kisser with experience with Maenads anxious, Saffron demanded, "remove them. Siobhan?" Her voice already getting a little shuddery as Murder Mittens applied her Mittens in a way guaranteed to murder any sexual tension in the very best way, Siobhan replied, "yes, Kitten?"

"Reciprocate." If Siobhan wasn't proud of herself when she got Marie to roar out, "Amolydos!" at the top of her lungs, she should have been. That kind of lady pleasing while under the handicap of a third trimester baby bulge put some anticipatory butterflies in my stomach for what might happen after the little one decanted. Our Darling may have been a complete ingenue in the ways of sex just over a year ago, but she's a quick study and has very obviously found a hobby she enjoys.

Yeah, I think that's an overriding theme of our little family unit. Whether it's my horndog nature, Saffron's mirror of that, Marie's purpose built murderfuck body, Siobhan's very favorite duty, or Tallulah's obvious Special Interest, we're all kind of down for all kinds of sexual shenanigans on the regular. Which Tallulah proved once Marie carried Siobhan over for both of them to distribute tasty, tasty post-coital kisses to the three of us.

Okay, Marie was down to give Panther a taste, but he looked to me for a rescue, so I said, "hey, no pressure. You want to taste my Murder Mittens' mouth, take a taste, if you don't, don't." He looked back at her, then lowered his gaze.

"Forgive me, Marie." She chuckled, said, "De Nada." then kissed him on the forehead. Siobhan leaned in and did the same, clearly an act of benediction, not passion, shared or otherwise. He looked kinda surprised when they stepped away, but not upset. Then he turned to me.

"I. Uh." It took me a second.

"You came here to do things with Tallulah, right?" He looked almost ashamed as he nodded and whispered, "yes." I smiled, reached over, and lifted his chin so he could look me in the eyes.

"She's my Concubine," he looked even more ashamed at that.

"My High Priestess." The shame wavered, replaced by mixed confusion and potential understanding.

"My friend." Tallulah looked a little surprised by that, but didn't say anything, especially when I said, "friends share. Not that you're a thing to be shared. But jealousy is stupid. If you still want to?" I glanced down to where Tallulah's hand hadn't left his boy parts since arrival.

"I mean, you look ready to go."

"You... Would watch and not be upset?" I nodded.

"Not upset that I was with another? That I was with your Concubine?" I rolled my eyes.

"Just said that. You were here for the whole orgy thing. Go ahead. I like it when my friends have fun, I like watching, you don't need my permission but you have my encouragement." I lifted both of them off the divan and gave them a gentle shove toward the Bed.

"Show my long tall Lady what you've got." Kinda weird. Saffron and I lay there watching them, and I didn't really have the slightest urge to get up and join them, or pre-game with Saffron for when Panther ran out of Endurance, or do more than silently comment on his technique. Nothing negative, just appreciating a man who was attentive, persistent, and gentle. Well, all that and, ultimately, very successful. Reciprocation occurred. Nigh simultaneously. Kinda weird.

Tallulah rousted him enough to vacate the bed, and they both stumbled over for Tallulah to exchange kisses with Saffron and I. Then I gave Panther a clear invitation, and he sheepishly kissed me as well, the taste of Tallulah still on his lips. Before he could pull away entirely, Saffron dragged him up to kiss him, which kinda filled my face with Panther chest. Not complaining, the man had a nice chest, the tiniest bit of softness over solid muscle.

When she let him go, before anyone else could comment, Saffron said, "thank you, Panther, for being such an attentive lover, and bringing our Concubine such pleasure. You are a good man, a faithful Worshipper of our Goddess, and were this not a day I have set aside for my Wife, I would show you beyond a shadow of a doubt how desirable I think you are as a man." His chest warmed as her words sunk in, then she pushed him away, pushed him back into Tallulah's steadying arms.

"Now go. Get some rest. You've more than earned it." When they were gone, it was weird, but I didn't immediately throw Saffron on the Bed. She didn't do that to me, either. We also didn't turn the divan into a fuck couch.

"Something wrong, Kitten?" She smiled and shook her head.

"No, love. Just enjoying your company. Your touch." After a second, I relaxed.

"Yeah. Yeah, I get you. I feel that."

"Do you feel my nipples stiffening at your touch?" I grinned.

"I thought that was from the cold." She laughed.

"It's not cold in here, Goof. It is, in fact, as climate controlled as one of the Academy rooms."

"Really?"

"Since we stole the Enchantments, and I reconnected them to the Mana reservoirs under the Homestead, almost exactly, yes." I thought about that for a bit while she played with my hair.

"Isn't that fire Mana or something?" She shrugged.

"So it might be a bit warmer. Or that might be my natural reaction to the sexy beast lying on my bosom." I ran my hand along her thigh, down to her calf. It felt a little stiff, so I massaged it gently.

"Sexy beast, huh?" I paused, listening to her groan as I worked the tension from her calf.

"I half thought I'd be halfway to my first orgasm of the night already." Mid-groan, she forced out, "only halfway?"

"Yeah, sometimes you take your time." She laughed at that.

"No. No, not really. That's sort of what I'm doing right now." After another pause for another groan of relaxation, she said, "it's been far too long since I could do aught but copulate frantically with you, seeking release as quickly and as often as possible." I sighed.

"Yeah. Yeah, our lives have been exciting, haven't they?"

"Yes." After a bit, she said, "we need to confirm that the watch towers are secure and can communicate. We need to extricate your family. We must rescue the Maenads in Spartan captivity." I frowned.

"Uh, why now with the planning session?"

"Because I said that I would tell you what needed to happen first."

"First?" She stood, lifting me, and carried me to the bed, lying me down on my belly.

"Before I stare into your eyes and scream 'breed me' at the top of my lungs as you fill me with your seed, Goof."

"Uh. I am perfectly okay with slow, for all the reasons we mentioned." The drawer slid open, leather slithering.

"But, uh, before dinner tomorrow?" As the first acupuncture needle slid into my back, banishing tension and even the persistent pain of my scars, she replied, "not for you getting me with child. But for less procreative recreation? Oh, definitely, love." I remember once saying that slow, gentle negotiation of Consent resulted in Global Panty Annihilation. After the nearly full day we took gently talking, massaging, and relaxing one another, I was reminded that we did not, in fact, have any panties to begin with.