Chương 935: Day Nine Hundred And Thirty-Three

Dear Diary, A positive takeaway from yesterday is that I didn't hurt any friendlies, and managed to recover five of our six watchtowers in under twelve hours. Mission accomplished, no grandstanding or lying fuckery required to say that either. Six watchtowers cleared, five recovered, five hearth fires lit. Okay, the sixth hearth fire might still be burning, I'm not sure. Probably not, what with it being far, far colder than a witch's tit outside right now.

No, seriously, not only am I pretty sure Baba Yaga's tits are reasonably warm, if my wife doesn't qualify as a Witch what with being a girl type magic user, I don't know who does, and that means her magnificent mammaries are in fact witch's tits, and I can and will confirm that they are warm. And wonderful. Also, worthy of worship.

While I doubt they'll get significantly larger than they currently are when we finally get to the point where it's safe to get her preggers again, some really awful part of me really wonders if they'll do the surprisingly full orb thing again. I mean, probably, what with that being the whole thing that happens when they fill up with milk, but still.

Look, not only am I eighty percent digression by body mass, I'm also endlessly fascinated with each and every one of my ladies, not to mention individual facets of each of them. Saffron's tits. Siobhan's hair. Marie's claws. Tallulah's skin. Okay, that last one sounds super creepy, but I'm talking about how her skin under the freckles positively glows. Under? Between? I'm not sure exactly which it is, but it turns her entire body into a fascinating tapestry of light and dark, of red and white.

The texture's different, too, although I couldn't quite say how. Just that it's almost like running my hand over really old stained glass like they have in old cathedrals; the glass and the leads between it feel different, even if they've both been worn smooth and flush with age. Speaking of flush, when she blushes her freckles light up like little flares. I think it's adorable.

I'm not sure, because every time I've seen it has been in a situation where it was also hot as fuck, and need to perpetrate her O face overrode my desire to coo over her skin. Okay, each of them has more than just one fascinating feature, but there's definitely a standout for each of them. Really impressive with Saffron, too, given that her tits' competition is her ass, her overall squish, her curvy, her grin, and holy fuckballs her chuckle is like chocolate lava pumped right into my hindbrain.

But her tits still win out, and I have no idea why. They just do, because they're real and they're magnificent. At any rate, while I did accomplish the mission, I also discovered some weaknesses in my own game. First and foremost, I need to be able to control my anger better.

Yeah, I ended the fight with one massive slow rolled Fire Bolt, because while Cold Iron protects from Mana Shapes, once the Shape has done its work of imparting enough heat energy into rock to melt said rock, Cold Iron does exactly jack and shit against lava flowing down onto the person wearing it. But I also lost us that tower, at least until we rebuild it, which might not be until spring. I know, I know, I wrecked their shit but good. Which is what happens when I get pissed at people.

This much is pretty fuckin' much a fact of nature by now. But that's just it, if I need to wreck somebody's shit, I shouldn't need to get to the point where I can't control myself. I need to be surgical. Also, I need to be able to hold back if I'm pissed off. Otherwise I wind up doing shit like I did in Asia Minor, and I've still got guilt over that. Not killing them. Fuck those guys. But the way I did it, how much I enjoyed it.

The fact that I'm vaguely disappointed that I didn't enjoy yesterday night anywhere near that much. Weird fuckin' part is that while I'm intellectually horrified by the fact that I know I could still get my groove on killing those rapist fucks, I'm actually emotionally guilty over the property damage. That's really fucked up. Property can be rebuilt, people can't. That's like basic decent human being one oh one, 'if you value property over people, you're doing it wrong'.

I dunno, I'm probably looking at it wrong, but I'm still hurting from the other day. Siobhan had a bad health day yesterday, despite Hailee taking care of her. Apparently she got hit with a one, two, three combo of 'nauseous because pregnant', 'headache because hungry', and 'nauseous because headache'. So instead of her leading the Healing circle to fix my beat up ass, I insisted that Saffron and Hailee take care of Darling while I soaked in the tub.

I didn't even make it down to dinner, which I felt guilty about afterward when the kids made it to the Bath. I had almost soaked away the worst of the hurt when Menace asked, "why din't you come down for dinner, Mama?"

"Sorry, kiddo. Hurting."

"Oh. We maked soup for you though."

"Ah, shit. Um... I'll eat it when... Fu... Fudge, is there any left?" She shook her head. I took a deep breath, then asked, "could you make some for me tomorrow?"

"You gonna ead it?" I looked around at the sad eyes, and sighed.

"Yeah, okay. I promise, I'll come down and eat dinner if you make soup for me." Stolen novel; please report. That got me a little cheer, not to mention quiet hand squeezes from Saffron and Siobhan. Almost couldn't get to sleep, because once I'd gotten out of the Bath the hurting started up again. Glad I did, though. The ladies made soup in my Maw, all stirring themselves around with giant ladles.

Woke up early when Saffron went through her boot up sequence, eyelashes tickling my chest moments before the tip of her tongue investigated my cleavage. Then, with everyone else still asleep, investigating a high point just to one side of my cleavage. After a quiet hum of oddly disappointed contentment, and yeah I know how weird that sounds, because it did sound weird, she murmured, "I was never impressed by the texture of my own nipples. Next time you're nursing I'm definitely exploring that."

"Kinky."

"Why do I think that is not a complaint?"

"Because it's not." Kids woke up to us playing some slow, gentle tonsil hockey. Been a while since they called us silly. I kinda missed it. Of course, I did not enjoy what the sudden tension did to my puncture wounds when, once everyone had mostly left the room, Maze came up to me and said, "Mama, can I talk to you about something? Uh, in private?" I felt awful when she winced. I forced a smile, said, "not you, Pony Girl. Still hurting from the fighting the other day."

I held out a hand, she took it, and I stepped us to my office. She insisted I take the seat, then hopped up to sit on the edge of my desk. After we settled, then waited while Menace and her Priestesses trooped through the room headed for a day of decorating her Temple, I spread my hands and nodded to Maze. After a couple moments looking uncomfortable, she said, "I. Uh. Two things?"

"Okay. Take your time, I've got all day as far as I know."

"As far as you know?" I nodded.

"I mean, if the Spartans come back Mom might need me to go kick their asses. Maybe. If the local troops and Heroes can't."

"Oh. Okay. I'll try to be quick then. Just in case."

"Don't rush yourself for that. Really." She shook her head and smiled.

"No. I will, because if I'm slow about it, we'll get interrupted, but if I hurry, nobody will need you today." I snorted a laugh at that, then said, "fu... full on Murphy there. Yep." At her confused look I explained, "old superstition, Murphy's Law, anything that can go wrong will go wrong." She nodded.

"Uh, I've been hurting here," she lay a hand on her belly, "for a couple days". Yeah, that produced way less tension than I thought.

"You mind if I Assess you?"

"Of course not, Mama."

"Okay." I made the Shape, which diagnosed her with 'Abdominal Cramping'. I looked at the granular stuff, but as usual I couldn't make heads nor tails out of it.

"Okay. Could be just some mild intestinal distress, or you could be getting pre-menstrual cramping." That got me another confused look.

"Remember we talked about monthly bleeding?"

"Already?" I shrugged.

"I got mine before I was a teenager. Some girls do. Some don't get it until they're in their mid teens. Everybody's different, and that's back where I'm from, where there aren't any Human-Adjacent folks to speak of. Your Kelpie heritage might make it happen sooner, I dunno." She stuck her tongue out.

"Blech. What do I do about it?"

"Uh... I'll ask, or you can ask, Marie for something. Or maybe Mom? Although I don't remember her dealing with it much. Might be the Academy training or something like that, I dunno."

"So I'm becoming a woman?" I shook my head, smiling.

"Nah. You're dealing with having a functioning uterus, maybe. Or maybe you're coming down with a stomach bug. But I don't think it would be a bad idea to stock up on period supplies, maybe wear a pad or something."

"Like a diaper?" I shook my head again.

"Nah. Nothing that crazy. Just some cloth to catch any blood that leaks out. It's not like you can hold it in or anything if it tries to come out. It just flows out. Unless you use something like a cup or a tampon."

"What are those?"

"Things that go up in you and catch the blood before it comes out. A tampon's just, y'know, fabric. Like a pad, but inside. A cup... Sh... Sure I don't know if those are available here. It's a squishy sided cup you put in there and it catches the blood so you can pour it out in the toilet."

"Ew." I shrugged.

"Yeah. Kinda is. But it's like pooping or pissing, just part of having a body." She giggled a little at that, then got thoughtful. Then made me tense up when she asked, "what's kissing like? I mean kissing someone on the mouth?" Yeah, not a question I'd looked forward to. But I wasn't about to start lying to my kids now.

"Warm. Fun. Sometimes scary, sometimes exciting. Sometimes sloppy."

"You and Mom seem to like doing it." I smirked.

"Wanna know a secret?" She nodded and leaned in.

"Marie and Siobhan and Tallulah like doing it too." Then, because I was trying to be honest, I amended, "okay, I think Tallulah does. The other two do, although each of them like it in different ways. For different reasons, maybe." Then I got a really evil impulse.

"You should ask each of them about it too." She just nodded, and by the impish look on her face she hadn't missed my shit stirring, and was absolutely going to do unto others as she'd done unto me.

"Okay. Um, can you show me? When I find someone I like?" I blinked.

"Uh..." I shook my head.

"I mean, like, demonstrating it with Mom, or one of the others, or explaining what to do? Because honestly I don't think about it that much. I just do it. Really, Tallulah probably pays the most attention to what's going on, she'd be the one to ask about that." She shook her head.

"Okay, I'll ask. But I meant, um..." She pointed to her head.

"The thing you do with your High Clergy?"

"You mean you're thinking of waiting until you're High Clergy to get kissed?" She shrugged.

"That might be a while."

"I don't have anyone in mind, but I don't want to mess it up. That would be embarrassing." I snorted.

"And having Mama riding along in your head while you get your first kiss won't be?" She looked honestly confused.

"Why would it be?" Culture shock, I guess. But I tried to ride it out. Tried not to make her feel second hand shame from my own upbringing. Of course, I grabbed at humor.

"Might be a little overwhelming for them if I'm giving you tips." Yeah, put my foot in my mouth with that. Her eyes sparkled with anticipated mischief, and she said, "good!" Yeah, at some point I'll learn not to shoot myself in the foot with my mouth. Today's not looking good though.