Chương 925: Day Nine Hundred And Twenty-Three

Dear Diary, I know I've said this before, but the worst part about being an absolute dysregulated mess is when my brain starts lying to me about shit, and I am well aware that it is lying, but I can't actually stop it from doing the lying thing. Okay, I think I've said that before. I'm almost certain I said it before, almost as certain as talking about how depression fucks with memory above and beyond the basic ADHD object permanence problem.

Speaking of, I'm aware that it might not actually be 'object permanence' that I'm lacking. I'm honestly not sure, and despite many, many wikisurfs on the topic back in the day, I don't know enough about psychology to really scry up decent answers. At least a little bit of scrying is intent, and where actual wikisurfs wound up showing me links about things I didn't actually know about beforehand, Scrying doesn't really do that.

I've got to know something exists before I can go searching for it, even if I only know vaguely what it is. Like, for Lindsey's cold weather camping gear, I knew that shit existed, I had a sort of mental picture of what it was, and that was enough to get me somebody shopping online, which was enough to get me an actual image of what I wanted, which let me scry on the thing itself, which let me do my stealing thing.

That's honestly got to be one of the coolest things here and now, my ability to see it, want it, have it without taking it away from anyone else. Not only have I decided that jealousy is stupid, I really have no need for envy either. I seriously can't think of a single material object I could want that I don't have or can't get.

Shit, even if I saw some rando on the street who did unto my nethers like Hilde does to Saffron, and when I went to throw the rizz I apparently have here and now they told me not only were they Ace as fuck, the mere act of me asking turned them sex repulsed, which doesn't actually happen but try telling my depression that, I could just head home, make puppy dog eyes while shooting Saffron that image, and bam, she's cosplaying the hottie of my momentary obsession. My life is just about perfect. I... I said that.

I actually said that. I said that with my own fuckin' brain mouth. Not only have I just harshed my own joy at life being so good by reminding myself of my whole assed fucked up Domain which makes 'Bloodlust' look like something from the neighborhood of make-believe, wielded by Henrietta Pussycat, of course, I have also used Murphy's dog as a sock puppet to punch the man himself in the dick.

I'm also now wondering if my repeated mentions of Murphy are more or less likely to incarnate him as some kind of foil for me, and if I do, whether that's a good thing or not. No, hear me out, if I'm worried about my Vast Cosmic Power having no limits and causing harm to me, having an actual foil could only be good. I can't think of anybody else who would make a better foil, since Murphy mainly fucks with people who are too confident, and that may be one of my defining characteristics.

Okay, yeah, overconfident via standard issue superiority complex, but still. Of course now I realize that when shit comes down, it often is either aimed at or splatters onto my loved ones. Forget I said anything, Murphy doesn't exist, he's just a figment of somebody else's imagination. Because if he was a figment of my imagination, I'm sure he'd actually incarnate somewhere in M-Space at some point.

So yesterday, after a very long night with my ladies taking turns Smiting me then using me as a smash test dummy for their growing partner pleasing Skills, I spent the day teaching math. Yeah, I know, but apparently not even the kids being excited to see me back in the classroom could mar my deeply perfect calm.

My only complaint about the night, that I didn't get to see any of what any of them were doing, because they also took turns using my face as a seat, really isn't anything I'm gonna complain about, what with the high quality Worship hitting me from both ends as it were. I know somebody's gonna say 'oh, please, you could have pulled your limbs free of the ladies holding them', but trust me, my ladies are very capable of making sure I did not want to be rescued, as it were. Stolen novel; please report.

At any rate, I taught math yesterday. Not just at the Temple of Love, but at all of my Temples. Still kinda weird that I'm a math teacher here and now. Although really yesterday I wound up mostly telling them age appropriate stories of my battles before Yule. I didn't really give any details about Lyssa other than to say she was the last of the threats associated with the Kaiju, and she hurt people at the Homestead, but everyone is physically fine now.

The big fart cloud Kaiju may have featured heavily in the stories, because kids love that kind of humor. Got home to fish for dinner. Lots of different presentations, some of them not to my liking, but Sigyn made them, so I ate them. Also, Marie definitely made some of the others, like the sushi, which I had to be careful not to nom all of before the girls got their fill. At bath time I realized we had more visitors. Silk, Panther, Lily, and Rabbit.

While we soaked, I murmured, "we gotta get Grandmother here for this, I think. Pretty sure she'd enjoy the heat and the water." Silk nodded and moved like he was gonna do something dumb like run back and grab her and bring her back right then, despite it being a two day trip at least, when Panther laid a hand on his arm.

"She would, but I'm not sure she's up to the trip."

"Just lemme know. I can bring her the short way, she never has to go out in the cold if she's not up for that." That got me a considering look, followed eventually by, "perhaps tomorrow?" At bedtime I was a little surprised that at least Lily and Rabbit hadn't joined us. Then my lovely ladies yoinked me to the Bedroom. The very crowded Bedroom.

"Uh, what's up?" Saffron Grinned her naughtiest Grin at me, hammered me with the kind of Smite it takes a Deity or an Archmage with a bone to pick to power, and said, "oh, did you think we were done?" Wearing her thighs as earmuffs some time later, I managed to piece together the thought, with this many people, are we sure this isn't an orgy rather than a gangbang?

That very sultry burr in her mental voice that I loved hearing, because it only happened after she'd come hard enough to lose track of unimportant things like time, space, and identity, she thought back, oh, it absolutely is. Which is when she showed me what she was looking at. Behind Panther, who'd just performed his preferred act of Worship, and had his fingers interlaced with Saffron's where they leaned into one another, Lily was using Silk, Lachlan, and Carruthers to prove to Karen just how much she liked men.

Karen looked very much like she wanted the next turn on that particular ride, and I couldn't really blame her. Meanwhile at the upper end of the divan Siobhan and Rabbit looked so fuckin' adorable just sitting there necking. Okay, I think they were necking. They're both kinda quiet, and they both looked happy. In the 'warming up to adult fun time, or cooling down from it, or both at once' kind of way. Yeah.

whole assed orgy in the Bedroom last night, with multiple Archmagi Smiting me repeatedly and putting head porn into my brain of whoever wasn't currently occupied in some way with me. At one point I remembered my whole 'perfect paradise' worry, but before I could do more than frown I think everyone in the room capable of Smiting hit me with one, not to mention Saffron humming, that's enough of that now, love, directly into my brain. Any and all depressive spiral tendencies eradicated with prejudice.

Some time well after the sun rose, we all returned to the Bath. Okay, we hit the showers first, because whether or not I enjoy the smell of sex funk, none of us wanted that stuff getting into the Bath itself and going rancid. Okay, Silk moved like he was gonna just hit the Bath, at which point I don't even remember directing my tentacles, but they yoinked him back to a shower stall and held him there while Lily scrubbed him down.

She was not gentle, but then I don't think he really needed gentle, he needed to be clean. As we all lay there, drowsy slipping toward sleepy, I pulled Saffron to me, celebrating the fact that Mom and Dad had the kids by providing bosom support for her. Okay, groping her, because I could and she liked it.

"So, Kitten, was this your day?" She stretched against me, shaking her head.

"Oh, no. This was your day to reconnect to all of your intimate companions. What did you say once? Friends with Benefits? Yes. That. My day is Moonday." She rolled over, taking great care to keep my hands where they were, and looked into my eyes, somehow managing to keep a straight face when she said, "that's my Devotional Day, after all."

"Why do I think you plan on the past two nights being an opening act? A warm up? An appetizer buffet?" She licked her lips.

"With me as the main course?" I nodded.

"Because you're a very smart girl." So... Uh... Tomorrow is..." I did the mental equivalent of kicking my memory vending machine until something popped out.

"Ria?" Of course then she shut my brain down the rest of the way by nodding and saying, "Good Girl."