Chương 20: A Squirrel's Eye View

Tala I sat beside my furball and watched everyone lose their collective minds over basic problem-solving. Idiots. For centuries, they'd sat and whined about problems that had obvious solutions. Now they were staring at him like he'd just invented fire. My kit walked the werewolves through a species protection scheme that involved creative documentation and light political bribery while Alder grinned like an idiot the whole time. He definitely didn't meet my expectations of a dignified elder.

Then again, werewolves were straightforward creatures. They loved straightforward solutions, even morally gray ones. The Moon-Eyed People's problem came next. Thomm scribbled notes while my kit laid out his ideas. It was probably the first time in decades someone had offered his people a plan that didn't involve hiding in caves. As for the fae women, they were practically vibrating over the artificial insemination suggestion. It was totally inappropriate the way they jiggled in excitement.

I wanted to throw something at Pierre, but it looked like Shelly was going to take care of that problem for me. At least her attention isn't on my kit any longer. One of them fae women kept whispering to her silver-haired companion. I caught fragments of it, something about 'revolutionary' and 'Why didn't we think of this?' They probably didn't even know I understood every word. It was one of the many perks of being me.

Well, that and the enhanced senses, supernatural speed, and general superiority to every other squirrel on the planet. They'd been so busy trying to seduce humans the old-fashioned way they never considered a medical solution. Talk about one-track minds. My kit paced around, gesturing with his tiny paws as he explained tax exemptions to the increasingly bewildered druids. He had no idea he'd just accidentally conquered the entire supernatural community. I'd been watching his aura all night.

It was still noticeably weaker after that idiotic stunt with the deer. He'd poured divinity and mana into bringing her back to life, and was now running on fumes. Moron. I wanted to be furious with him, but the self-sacrifice was too touching. Of course my kit would burn himself out helping a dead deer before an important political gathering. With the exception of Kathy, Pierre, and Alder, the others probably had no idea my little furball was running on fumes.

That didn't stop them from valuing everything he said, though. They clustered around him with something like reverence. Then a bark-skinned woman, some kind of dryad from her scent, said, "You're talking about systematic manipulation of human institutions." My kit didn't even blink. He just launched into his explanation about how governments love bureaucracy and how they'll follow their own procedures even when it hurts them. All you needed to know was which forms to fill out. He made it sound so simple.

These supernatural beings had been approaching human society like it was some mystical puzzle. All they needed was someone who understood how the machine worked. Centuries of pride and isolation, and all it took was one cranky raccoon who'd spent fifty years learning how broken systems worked. Embarrassing, really. That's when I caught movement in my peripheral vision. A river spirit had materialized near the edge of the circle, mostly water held together by will and moonlight.

Her attention was fixed entirely on Abe. Her form rippled and shifted, subtly drawing attention to her curves. Oh, please. Could she be more obvious? My tail bristled involuntarily. Another admirer. Wonderful. The thought of anyone else trying to claim him made my claws extend involuntarily. One of the silver-haired fae decided to play devil's advocate. She got all concerned about how manipulating the human government could 'expose us all.'

Her tone was icy, superior, like she was the only one smart enough to see the risks. If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it's taken without the author's consent. Report it. I resisted the urge to throw an acorn at her face. My kit met her icy gaze without flinching. He pointed out that there were already mutant animals all over YouTube. The only question was whether they wanted protections in place before or after humans figured it out. I wanted to chitter with pride.

That's my kit, a fearless little furball, even if he was kind of annoying at times. After that, Kathy finally confessed that the druids had 'organizational challenges.' Which was a polite way of saying they'd been running around like headless chickens for centuries with no structure whatsoever. That was sad since there were actual druid groups out there, even if they weren't true druids. A lot of true druids actually hid among the non-magical druid groups.

As for the true druids, they were well-meaning but utterly incapable of organizing anything more complex than a solstice celebration. And even those usually devolved into arguments about whether to use electric lights or traditional torches. My kit somehow managed not to roll his eyes. I could feel his restraint through our bond. It was impressive, really. If I'd had to listen to Kathy admit her people were too disorganized to even identify their problems, I would've said something.

But my kit just stared at her for a moment before launching into solutions. He made it sound so obvious that I could see several druids mentally kicking themselves for not thinking of it sooner. One particularly young druid actually face-palmed. The sound echoed in the stone circle. Frankly, for supposedly wise druids, they were surprisingly stupid. The meeting transformed before my eyes. Groups started comparing notes, sharing contact information, and discussing timelines. I could already see alliances forming.

After all, why pay two politicians when you can buy just one? Why duplicate efforts when you could split costs? And at the center of it all sat my kit, casually revolutionizing centuries of supernatural isolation with nothing but basic civic knowledge and prepper paranoia. Hours crawled by with problem after problem. My kit handled them all patiently while explaining human bureaucracy like it was simple instead of the nightmare these idiots feared. The dryad wanted environmental protections for her groves.

Abe rattled off three different government programs, wetlands protection, endangered species habitat, and historical preservation. Then he told her to coordinate with the druids and split the bribery costs. Weirdly, she was taking notes on an iPad. An ancient tree spirit was googling wetlands protection grants on an iPad. I didn't know whether to be impressed or offended on behalf of nature. Then again, it would have been weird for her to be taking notes on paper. On and on it went.

Every supernatural being in attendance got their problems solved with a combination of paperwork and creative rule-bending. I watched my kit work and felt something shift in my chest. Somewhere between the werewolf tax scheme and the fae fertility clinic discussion, babysitting had turned into something I didn't have a word for yet. I wasn't ready to examine that too closely. My kit accidentally conquered a room full of beings who'd been alive for centuries. The worst part was he didn't even know he was doing it.

"Speaking of helping each other,' Abe said, his voice cutting through the various side conversations. The circle went quiet. Everyone turned to look at him.

"My human body went missing. I buried it under a cairn near my cabin. Now it's gone. There were no drag marks, just footprints walking away from the grave. Apparently, it just got up and walked off." A walking corpse wasn't normal, even by our standards. Whatever had taken his body was powerful enough to animate it without any visible magical signature I could detect. That was deeply concerning but I couldn't let him see my worry. He had enough on his plate without adding my anxiety to the pile.

Murmurs rippled through the gathering. Thomm's blue eyes went wide and someone gasped. The werewolves exchanged dark looks that suggested they knew exactly how bad this was. Alder's expression turned grim. He called it unusual, which was werewolf-speak for 'this is really bad and we're all going to pretend it's not so we don't panic.' I made a mental note to investigate it myself. Nobody steals my kit's body without answering to me.

Fortunately, even though I had my own connections, the community rallied and promised to help. Good. Let them prove their worth. My kit deserved allies who'd actually follow through. And if they found whoever took his body, I'd make sure they understood what happened to creatures who stole from trickster spirits. As the gathering began to break up, people swarmed Abe, thanking him. My kit handled it with grace, but I could see the exhaustion was starting to show.

Shelly appeared at our side with Pierre trailing behind her like a loyal puppy.

"That was impressive, and a little terrifying." She then added, "You just became very important, Abe. Very visible. I hope you're ready for what that means." She's right to worry, I projected to him privately. You made a lot of friends tonight. But you also made yourself very visible, which is dangerous. I know, he thought back. But what choice did I have? None, I admitted. That's what makes you a good leader. And what might get you in trouble. The government is bound to find out about this, eventually.

As we headed for the car, I hopped up onto Shelly's shoulder to get a better view of the dispersing crowd. From this vantage point, I could see the entire gathering breaking into smaller groups. In one night, with nothing but common sense and civic knowledge, he'd changed everything with his words. I kept watch as we walked to the car. My slightly-smarter-than-average kit had just revolutionized supernatural society while at the same time putting a target on his back. That meant I'd have to protect him.

It was just a matter of time before new problems showed up. As for now, I definitely needed to find out who, or what, had stolen his body.