Chương 10: Talk Trash

Still rattled, I brushed my fur with my claws. Tala had not only bruised my pride but also messed up my fur. I didn't like that. I also wasn't particularly fond of the fact that she was curled up on the table next to me munching a berry like she owned the place. Unfortunately, Tala was the least of my concerns. That didn't mean I could ignore her. I just needed to take care of little problems before they became big problems. I cleared my throat.

I figured she was just a typical roided out body builder with lots of brawn but not much brains.

"Okay, Tala," I said, slow and loud, like I was talking to a particularly dim puppy.

"You're my… buddy now, right? Stay. Good girl." I patted the air condescendingly. I expected her to chitter dumbly and maybe do a trick. Excuse me, trash panda? A sharp, sassy voice stabbed straight into my brain like a mental ice pick. I yelped and jumped back and toppled off the recliner in a furry heap. Tala's tail flicked with unmistakable smugness as she watched me flail. I'm Trigitala, descendant of Ratatoskr, messenger of the World Tree. I'm not your pet poodle.

Did Azeban pick you specifically to mess with me? Her mental tone dripped with aristocratic scorn. My jaw dropped so far it practically hit the floor.

"Telepathy?" I squeaked aloud. I scrambled to get what was left of my dignity back.

"Wait. What? Azeban?" Was Azeban responsible for my resurrection? Or was it Gaia? My face scrunched up as I tried to digest the implications of everything that had just hit me. Then I shook my head and focused on Tala. Azeban I could figure out later. I tried thinking back at her. I concentrated hard on forming words in my mind. Uh, you're actually talking in my head? How is this possible? I could tell that my thoughts sounded like a bad radio signal. They were wobbly and full of static.

Not only that, but they were also embarrassingly weak compared to her crystal-clear communication. She snorted, physically this time. Her whiskers twitched with amusement. Barely coherent, but it's a start. Work on it, kit. You sound like you're thinking through pudding. I scrambled up and tried to salvage some authority.

"Okay, fine, you're smart," I muttered.

"Really smart. Noted." Tala's eyes glinted with mischief. Her mental voice took on a purring quality that made my fur prickle. Smart, spry, and absolutely gorgeous. You're not bad for a scrawny inheritor. There, she said 'inheritor.' Does that mean I'm Gaia's and Azeban's love child? She hopped closer while I was thinking. Her tail deliberately brushed against my paw in a gesture that was unmistakably flirtatious. My brain short-circuited for a moment. Is she seriously hitting on me right now?

I shook off the contact and pretended not to notice the way her whiskers twitched with amusement at my flustered reaction. No way am I dealing with a squirrelly fangirl when Shelly is asleep in the bedroom. All warm and peaceful and smelling like flowers and earth magic.

"So, uh, what's the deal with… everything?" I asked. I waved a paw vaguely at the universe in general. While I was talking, I climbed back up to my spot and grabbed some more snacks. Then I popped them into my mouth. Talking to her was taxing enough. I could always work on the telepathy thing later.

"You seem to know more than I do. Which isn't saying much. Care to explain?" Tala sat back on her haunches and delicately nibbled on a grape. She didn't respond until after she climbed back up onto the table next to the recliner. I might be young, but I know the mana tide's rising. I froze, a popcorn kernel was halfway to my mouth.

"Like those YouTube conspiracy theorists were saying?" She chittered with genuine amusement. Do I look like I watch a lot of YouTube? The only reason I know what that is is because I've peeked into enough windows. I frowned. That definitely sounded like she watched YouTube, but I wasn't about to start an argument with her since she just kicked my butt. Anyway, she continued, rising tide means enhanced supernatural abilities and random mutations. Basically, it's Gaia's way of preparing us for…

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere. She trailed off before finishing the sentence while she pretended to eat a grape. I was pretty sure she just didn't want to tell me. I also wasn't sure I wanted to know yet. Preparing for what? Armageddon? Ragnarök? My gut churned as the implications hit me. Then she started talking again. Gods are waking up and monsters are stirring. Worse things might soon be coming through dimensional cracks.

I was starting to get an upset stomach. Damn, I need some Pepcid AC. Part of me wanted to blame that fact that I was eating more than a family of raccoons should be able to eat, but I knew that wasn't true. I'd almost finished off the plate of fruit and vegetables as well as the popcorn. And I was still hungry. What the hell is my raccoon metabolism doing with all this food? I leaned forward. My heart was hammering against my tiny ribs.

"And me? Why am I supposedly Azeban's inheritor? What does that even mean?" Tala's tail twitched. Her mental voice softened slightly. I was just told to find you, watch over you, and help if you completely suck at this whole divine trickster thing. She paused and studied me. Azeban chose you for some reason. Maybe he's dying and needs a successor. Maybe he wants an apprentice. Maybe he's just bored and thought it would be funny. The point is, you're it. One of a kind. Her gaze flicked over me appraisingly.

Her mental voice took on that purring quality again. I'm still not entirely sure why he picked a scrawny kit like you, but you've definitely got… something special. I swallowed hard and tried to ignore the warmth in her mental tone. Focus, Abe. This is not a squirrel dating scenario.

"So basically, I'm some kind of divine guinea pig? Fantastic," I muttered, more to myself than to Tala. Her laughter echoed in my skull, clearly amused. Guinea pig? Please. You're more like a scrappy underdog mascot. Stick with me, kit, and you might actually survive whatever's coming. She moved closer and nuzzled my paw affectionately. I yanked it back like I'd been electrocuted.

"Cool it, Nutty," I muttered. I glanced toward the bedroom where I could hear Shelly's soft snoring. Tala's mental voice immediately sharpened with unmistakable jealousy. Who exactly is she to you? Her tail bristled slightly. I groaned internally. I am absolutely not dealing with territorial squirrel drama right now, I thought to myself.

"She's a friend," I said, not elaborating. Fine, whatever. Now, something's been watching you, and it's not here for midnight snacks and pleasant conversation. Any idea who that was out there? My tail flicked involuntarily and my claws dug into the armrest. I almost choked on a kernel as my heart started pounding. I stared at the window where the presence had been. Whatever was out there felt ancient and powerful.

"I wish I knew," I said. Not wanting to dwell on what even Tala didn't understand, I tried to learn more about something else I was curious about. So let me get this straight, I thought to Tala. My mental voice was getting slightly stronger with practice. I'm Azeban's inheritor, the mana tide is causing supernatural chaos worldwide, and now some mysterious entity is stalking me for unknown reasons? That's about the size of it, she confirmed. She moved closer to me in a gesture that was clearly protective.

You're not just a beacon for magical energy anymore. You're apparently a magnet for trouble, which is typical for trickster spirits. I looked around the cabin. At my cozy recliner. Shelly's thoughtful plate of snacks. The peaceful setup I'd been enjoying just hours ago. Then I sighed. And here I thought being a talking raccoon was the weirdest thing that would happen to me. Tala's mental laughter had a sharp edge to it. Oh, kit. You have no idea how weird things are about to get. Fudge, I thought.

Did I accidentally send that thought? Guess I do need to practice. Right there and then, I promised myself that I wasn't going to slip up again. The more time that passed, the more I had started to feel the energy in the forest. It seemed to hum with ancient energies. It kind of reminded me of one of those powder trails or safety fuses the Coyote would use to light up the dynamite. I was just waiting for the explosion to occur.

Whatever comes next, I have the distinct feeling my quiet prepper retirement is officially over. At least I had a telepathic Norse squirrel sidekick to help me navigate the chaos. Even if she did seem determined to flirt with me while simultaneously insulting my competence. This is my life now, I thought. I reached for another piece of popcorn. Spiritual inheritance, supernatural politics, and interspecies romantic tension. Could be worse, Tala's voice purred in my mind. You could be dealing with all of this alone.

No, no, no, I slapped myself mentally. That was meant for me only. Keep your trashy thoughts to yourself, I reminded myself. It's a recipe for disaster when a female can read a male's thoughts. Especially if said female was a magical squirrel with control issues. Then something small and hard smashed into my forehead. My vision tilted. Pain bloomed.

"Ow! What the…?" I gasped. I grabbed my head just before gravity and betrayal dragged me sideways. I didn't mean to send that thought, I gave a mental wail as everything started to go black. I heard Tala's voice, smug and not nearly sorry enough. Oops. Reflex. Should've kept that thought in your mental litter box. You don't sound sorry... I managed to think right before everything went black.