Chương 15: Community Gossip

Shelly Abe retreated to his recliner like a tiny general who had officially hit his limit for the day. He snagged a fistful of berries from the plate I'd left him. Tala curled up beside him the second he sat, her tail flicking across his lap in a very 'mine' sort of way. Meanwhile the workers were crawling all over his cabin, measuring doorways and muttering about never having built for someone 'that size.' I could practically feel Abe's fur bristling.

For a guy who used to live like a hermit, this had to be his personal definition of hell. A loud BANG came from the back room. Abe's ears flattened.

"If they break my coffee maker," he growled, "someone's getting bit." I didn't blame him. The poor guy looked ready to burrow under a blanket and pretend none of this was happening. Two days ago he'd been peacefully avoiding society. Today his house was a construction site. Alder caught my eye and nodded toward the door.

"We should give him space." Pierre looked like Alder had just told him the bar ran out of whiskey. I was pretty sure he was enjoying Abe's discomfort way too much. But even Pierre wasn't immune to an alpha stare, so out we went. I glanced back through the window as we stepped outside. Abe had the remote now, flipping channels while Tala scolded him in annoyed chitters. At least he was… attempting relaxation. Outside, autumn slapped my cheeks with cold air.

Equipment was scattered across the yard like someone was about to test a bomb.

"So," I said after a moment, "what fresh hell are we walking into with this gathering?" Alder stood beside me, looking unusually unsettled.

"It's been decades since we've had this many groups meet at once. The mana surge woke everybody up."

"Who's coming?" I asked.

"The usual freaks," Pierre said, leaning dramatically against the railing.

"Nature fae, Moon-Eyed People, and just about everyone else you could imagine. Maybe even some river spirits."

"Nature fae?" I asked. I'd heard the stories, but I'd never seen them in person.

"Picture supermodel elves," Pierre said helpfully, "but with fertility issues and zero patience left." Alder sighed.

"They're experiencing reproductive challenges."

"They're horny and desperate," Pierre translated.

"Mana's back, and they want to repopulate yesterday."

"Fantastic," I said.

"Horny elves. That won't be awkward at all." Another crash from inside, followed immediately by, "That was my favorite mug, you jackass!" Abe yelled. I winced.

"What about the Moon-Eyed People?"

"Cave dwellers," Pierre said.

"Pale and touchy. Picture a dwarf without the beard. They used to sneak out at night and help farmers."

"Used to?" I asked. Alder shrugged.

"Not much need for mystery farmhand spirits when John Deere exists."

"So unemployed cave hermits?"

"More or less," Pierre said.

"And their kids want to move aboveground, which the parents find… horrifying." Another crash soon followed.

"I don't care if it's structurally necessary, that's where I keep my emergency whiskey!" I felt sorry for Abe but still couldn't resist smiling. Something about a chipmunk voice yelling angrily was just… amusing. Pierre was watching and immediately nodded his silent agreement to me. Apparently, he thought Abe being angry was hilarious. I put my face in my hands and tried to ignore him.

"Werewolves?" Pierre scowled, forgetting the happiness he was feeling just seconds before.

"Some packs are losing their damn minds. We used to shift only on full moons. Now we can change whenever."

"And that's bad because…," I was genuinely confused.

"Because some wolves think that means they can do whatever the hell they want," Alder said. He said this in a solemn tone that made me think maybe they were … downplaying just how much chaos was occurring among the werewolves. If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.

"They're pissing on everything," Pierre muttered.

"Some metaphorical. Some not."

"Charming." I sighed.

"Druids?" I knew I probably shouldn't ask, since I was a druid. However, I was also a solitary druid for the most part, a low-level one at that. While I had an inkling of what was going on, Kathy was definitely not telling me everything. Alder smirked.

"That's your circus." I groaned and finally admitted what little I did know.

"Half of Kathy's people think the mana tide is holy. The other half think it's the apocalypse. I'm in the 'let's not panic yet' camp. Population, me." Through the window, Abe was negotiating with a worker, gesturing with his paws like a pissed-off tiny attorney.

"What's the real agenda?" I asked.

"Because this sure as hell isn't a group therapy meeting."

"Information sharing," Alder said.

"If everyone can compare problems, maybe we'll avoid a supernatural war."

"And everyone's going to want Abe," Pierre added. My hackles rose.

"Explain."

"Mana battery," Pierre said.

"Walking, talking energy source. Some groups will see him as a fix. Others will see him as a threat."

"He's not a resource," I snapped. Pierre raised his hands.

"Hey, I agree. But the fae? They'll smile pretty while figuring out how to steal him."

"What about the Moon-Eyed People?" I asked. Pierre grinned.

"They'll probably adopt him. They love weird little guys who don't fit anywhere." From the inside, I heard Abe squeaking, "What are you doing to my toilet?!"

"And the others?" I asked, sighing. I knew I'd have to act like a referee soon. Knowing Abe, he might curse someone by accident. Alder exhaled.

"Split into three goals, study him, recruit him, or lock him up."

"Lock him up?" I felt my face flush. I immediately wanted to ask for names.

"Old-school witches think trickster spirits are like toddlers with dynamite," Pierre said.

"They prefer containment."

"Over my dead body," I snapped. Then I deflated a little. Even with my new blessing, there wasn't much I could do.

"Respect," Pierre said. Apparently, he liked my attitude, even if I couldn't back up my threat.

"Kathy won't let anything happen to him," Alder reassured.

"Neither will the Moonbound."

"Damn right." Pierre said. I was surprised by this. In my mind, I still pictured him sulking in a corner after not getting a blessing. I guess there is more to him than just a handsome face, I thought.

"He'll need someone who can translate between human logic and supernatural nonsense," Alder said. I snorted.

"Congratulations to me, I guess." Through the window, Abe sat on a toolbox like a foreman, supervising toilet installation. Tala trailed behind him. Even I could tell that she was thoroughly enjoying his discomfort. I could easily imagine her tiny paws clapping in glee each time Abe lost his shit.

"He really doesn't know how deep this goes, does he?" I asked softly. Pierre shrugged.

"None of us do." A worker leaned out the door.

"Ma'am? Your, uh… friend wants a doggie door on the bathroom door. Preferably opaque. He keeps saying the word 'privacy.'" For some reason, despite being yelled at by Abe, he seemed to be in a particularly good mood.

"That's fine," I called.

"Ask if he needs a step stool."

"Already asked," the worker said, retreating.

"He'll be fine," I said, more to myself than them.

"He's tougher than he looks."

"It's not toughness I'm worried about," Alder said.

"It's his honesty. Politics don't like honesty."

"Maybe they should."

"Maybe," Pierre said, "but if he accidentally insults a river spirit, that's on you." We stood through another round of tool noises and raccoon protests.

"What's the best-case scenario?" I asked. Although I doubted it would happen, it couldn't hurt to dream.

"Sharing information," Alder said.

"Creating alliances. Maybe solutions."

"Worst?" I dreaded the answer. Actually, I suspected that I wouldn't be told the worst case scenario.

"Someone kidnaps your raccoon," Pierre said.

"Or challenges him to a magical duel." I did not appreciate the 'your raccoon' part as much as I probably should have. I wanted them to appreciate Abe as much as I did, but that wasn't realistic. They had their own problems.

"And the middle ground?" I asked.

"Abe pisses off half the supernatural community without meaning to," Alder said.

"Sounds about right," Pierre agreed.

"That's what I think will happen. I haven't known him long but he does seem to have a bit of a temper." I was about to defend Abe when I heard a crash followed by, "What is wrong with you people?!" I sighed, and said, "I'm going in." Part of me was hoping Alder would volunteer to help. Sadly, he just said, "Good luck." Pierre just flashed a breath-taking smile and waved. Idiot, I thought. Why did the hot ones always have to be like that?

Inside, I found Abe proudly directing the installation of a toddler-sized toilet seat. The workers kept on acting serious, and seemed to be listening intently to what he had to say, but I could tell that whenever he looked away, they would glance behind him. I followed their gaze and caught Tala standing just behind Abe, mimicking his actions.

Whenever Abe turned around, she acted like she hadn't been mocking him behind his back and instead started making threatening gestures at the workers, just to emphasize Abe's point of view.

"How's it going?" I asked, feeling a headache already developing. I didn't know whether to roll my eyes, laugh, or just start crying.

"Great," Abe said.

"Turns out there's a whole industry for small bathroom accessibility. Who knew?" I smiled, and tried to ignore the absurd situation. Most of my thoughts were on the upcoming meeting. Maybe he'll be okay after all. How much trouble could one raccoon cause, anyway?