Chương 8: From the stupid ideas we poorly implement.

Damon happily watched the pot pie go round and round. The boy was comforted, no doubt, by the normality of a damned microwave in this crazy world. I gave him a couple Advil with his dinner, and let him eat in peace for a few minutes. Together we waited for Lakshmi to finish her shower and come out with the healing spells. She took... a while. I was starting to wonder why she was taking so long... but then I realized what I'd be doing right now if I were in a hot shower at this very moment.

I was just glad she could manage whatever it was she was up to in there quieter than the sound of the running water… I'd give her a while longer. Meanwhile, I tried very hard to stop thinking about her in the shower, doing what I'd be doing. Damon devoured his pot pie, probably burned his mouth eating it so fast, but clearly the kid was hungry. I needed another distraction.

"Do you like comic books, Damon? Batman, Superman, that sort of thing?"

"Spider man's my favorite." He said. Balance: 2754. 46 A stack of spider-man comics appeared on my table. This should be enough to keep me from thinking about the woman in the shower, and from having to have a real conversation with the boy.

"Holy cow!" He reached out to grab one... but paused, "Grandpa, these could be worth a lot of money here."

"Everything I buy seems to be worth more here. Go ahead and read'em, kid. I got them for reading. If someone wants a mint condition version, I'll buy more."

"Oh... Thanks, grandpa." He started crying. Not because he was in pain, but because - I think - it was the first time anyone had been so kind to him since he died. He wiped his eyes with his sleeves, and picked up a comic book. I grabbed one too. Good ol' Sipder-man. A few minutes later the sounds of the water running stopped, and a short while after that, Lakshmi stepped out of my bathroom in a cloud of steam. She was fully dressed, thank goodness, towel wrapped up on her head.

I stood up, and asked, "Satisfying shower?" Damon, seeing me stand, hopped to his feet. I'd teach this young man some manners, even if I wasn't actually trying to. A fit young man should stand when a lady enters the room." Extremely." She cooed, before she noticed the new person, and the lack of Sochi.

"Lakshmi, this is Damon, the neighbor. Damon, meet Lakshmi, the neighbor" I said, gesturing between them.

"He could use a touch of healing."

"Hi! I got beat up." He extended a hand toward her.

"Yes-yes, nice to meet you," Lakshmi's eyes darted between us and down to the table, "Spider-Man, good choice, now come here boy, let me see your face." She grabbed his outstretched hand, and pulled him in close to her. Her other hand she raised up toward his face. It started glowing a yellowish-white, which she pushed into just the tip of her pointer finger.

The bright finger was enough to cause Damon to close his eyes while Lakshmi ran it over his various and sundry facial cuts and bruises, unsplitting his lip and eyebrow, and sealing the cut in his cheek. Though it was bright, I was fascinated. I stared at the sun, so to speak, as it sewed up his wounds and unbruised his face, and actually regrew a tooth. Magic is fucking crazy.

"Open your eyes and look off into the corner." She commanded. He did so, and she was satisfied with the results as she passed her bright finger across his view.

"I don't think you have a concussion." When she finished his face, she turned to me.

"Should I do his body too?"

"Do my what?!" Damon squeaked.

"I could have phrased that better." She smiled and let go of his hand.

"Yeah, whatever, heal him up, if it doesn't cost you anything," I said.

"That thing I just did takes very little mana, but a lot of time." She shook her hand and the spell in her fingertip faded.

"I have another spell I want to try, one that requires words and more mana. Your body still feels like shit, right Damon?"

"I think I have a broken rib, and my left knee hurts when I bend it certain ways."

"Hmm... Giagstacto." Lakshmi said, and her eyes flared to life with golden light, changed from their normal brown. She looked him up and down.

"You do have a number of bruised ribs, but nothing fully broken. You will know when you have a broken rib. It will hurt to breathe. You do have some other problems that I'm going to heal in one go. If you want me to do so, and if this spell works for it all." You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.

"Oh, yes please!" She put a hand on his chest and uttered her magic words,"Drune-Rembark." A pulse of light started at her center, and flowed down her arm into Damon. It hit him with a force like she'd pushed him gently, and he stepped back a couple paces.

"Ohhh, wow? I feel... amazing." Damon was glowing, figuratively and literally.

"Hmm..." She stared at him with her golden, glowing eyes, diagnostic eyes.

"Didn't fix the environmentally induced asthma? I must need something more than 'lesser' restoration magic for that. You should be able to breathe easy for a while, until my restoration fades, anyhow. If only we had access to a pharmacy, I would prescribe you something." I let out a 'HA!' and bought the only thing I could from my new website, a prescription pad. It was... free? I'd worry about that bit of susness later. Maybe that's what I'd ask the Golden One about.

"Here," I handed her the pad.

"I got access to a pharmacy for my level up, but I need a doctor to get things from it. The Golden One said there was one 'already provided', and now I'm pretty sure, that's you""I sure was... and I suppose I am, again. I suppose I am un-retired." She looked around, "A pen?"

"One second." Balance: 2729. 92 A sleek, luxury, black pen, with a gold plated cap, and a nice weight and feel to it appeared in my hand.

"Here."

"This pen is nice, Johnny." She wrote something and pulled off the top page from her pad and handed it to me. I thought it looked like scorpigiquitigian, but after holding it for a moment, it disappeared from my hand. The price appeared in my mind's eye. $5 for ninety days supply. I bought it and a small red inhaler appeared in my hand. Lakshmi took it and handed it to Damon.

"Two puffs, in the morning when you get up, and two before bed. Rinse your mouth out with water afterward." He took it from her, and said, "Thanks."

"Repeat it back to me. When do you take it, and what else?"

"Two puffs, once in the morning, and again before bed. Rinse my mouth out."

"Good lad," I said, interjecting back into the conversation.

"Alright, Damon. If you're feeling better, do you want to grab a few comics and head back to your place? I need to talk with Lakshmi." I didn't. I just didn't want to entertain a child-man anymore, and he had looked dead tired a minute ago. I was sure his sleepiness would return soon, and he had his own place to sleep.

"Yeah, I should go get some sleep," he said. He sounded all too adult to me, poor kid.

"Well, it has been a strange day in the new world," Lakshmi said.

"I think we shall see you tomorrow, Damon."

"Thank you for the healing magic, I can't... I can't really pay you. All the money I do have is Johnny's."

"That's okay. I won't charge you, this time." She smiled and helped him collect his comic books to take back to his pace for the night. Once he was gone she closed and locked the door.

"Well... not like I can go back to my place, there isn't even a lock on the door, and I have no furniture."

"And where do you plan to sleep in here? On the floor?"

"Oh, Johnny! I'm sure you could magic up a nice Japanese style futon for me, at least." She laughed, "Or I'll strip down and sleep on your pullout couch naked."

"The hormones are raging in these new bodies, aren't they?" I said, cutting off her jabs at the knees.

"I'm going to take my turn in the shower. Here's a futon, pajamas, sheets, pillows, and blankets. Would you please set up my bed in the pull out as well?" Balance: 2458. 45 A pile of stuff appeared.

"I suppose the hormones are raging." She said, unbuttoning her pants.

"We better find an adult-inside, living man I can have my way with Johnny. Your married-man vibe is clashing with my newfound, burdensome... desires." I stopped staring as she started to shimmy out of her jeans. It was shower time. Then I was going to brush my teeth, and get some sleep... I had a twenty-five minute shower. I spent a few minutes trying to squash the giggles. There I was, herkin my jerkin thinking about my wife! Of all the things to think of. I hadn't done that since the damn Korean war.

The whole notion of it sent me to fits, and almost ruined the mood. Almost. I finished my long shower and found that Lakshmi had made up the bed for me on the pull-out couch. She was duly lying on the futon on the floor, with blankets and pillows... and was snoring like a lumberjack. She had a stack of prescriptions written, I could not read a word of what any of them said. Still, each one I picked up made a new drug available in my Pharmacy store, in limited quantities.

I'd buy them all when she was awake to tell me what the hell I was buying. Just because the letters made sense in the store still didn't mean I knew what the hell most of these were. There was also a note shoved under my door, with four gold pieces folded inside. I touched one and all of them vanished. Balance: 22458. 45 Oh yes... it was very satisfying adding a digit. Now I could afford about thirty five seconds of cancer treatment drugs. Probably not a worry for a few years yet.

This note was in a handwriting I could read: Sounds like a bear is snoring in there, here's your half of the two I just sold. Off to sell again! See you in the morning. I'll stay up to greet the sun with you, before running for cover. -Stever The 'n' sort of cut off early. Sloppy scrawl, Steven, but not doctor sloppy. A part of me was tempted to go decorate Lakshmi's apartment before going to bed...

but I had a feeling I wasn't going to actually stay in this apartment for all that long, and for better or worse, she was bound to me now, through the Golden One. We would be moving together through this new world for a while, I suspected all the way to meeting the Demon Queen.

I checked to see if Lakshmi was really asleep, by quietly saying, "I think I would like to fuck, actually." Which was a lie. She snored onward. Two could play at that game, though, because I am also a prodigious snorer. I changed into pajamas, and laid down on my couch bed. Lakshmi's snoring was at least rhythmic, and not that horrifying, start and stop snoring that makes you think the person might be dead just before they start breathing again. I checked the prices of CPAP machines.

"Holy shit. Eight hundred dollars... maybe if she prescribes one." I set up more lists for a little while as I lay in bed, and soon, I drifted off to sleep.