Chương 19: But not too easy,

I charged down the stairs into the second level of the starter dungeon, I wasn't going to be the fart this time. Still all wood down here. There were two alloprats before me. I skewered one my sword, and it died, but stayed a body. Excellent. Damon fired and missed the other one, which meant Lakshmi had to step in and kick it for him, so he could be sure to get exp. The second one dropped another stupid tiara. The second floor was almost as banal as the first.

There was one side room, however, and it had a crate in it with a spotlight over it. The light clearly came from above, but there was no visible source, and passing your hand through it did not cast a shadow. It was...

"Weird, it's like bad video game lighting." Damon said. Damn kids and their video games. He was right though, it was.

"Should we open the crate?"

"Sure." I said, and put a hand on the lid. It was wooden, and like any good old fashioned wooden crate - with no metal hinges - it took a little doing to get the tightly fitted lid off. In the process, I managed to get a splinter in my finger. These brand new hands need to build up some calluses. I suppose a splinter is what qualified as a trap in the starter dungeon. Lakshmi sorted me out with a glowing fingered, finger-to-finger magical bippity-boppity-boop.

Much faster and easier than getting a needle or tweezers, not that I could buy them at the moment anyhow. Inside the crate there were six sizable apples, and a pair of copper pieces, which Damon happily took. I took an apple, and Lakshmi put the rest in the frog after we offered one to Theodore. When I stared at the apple for a moment, my glasses identified it as a 'Dungeon Apple'.

'Crisp and Delicious! Always Fresh!' +1HP per minute for 1 hour. I took a bite, and it was right, crisp and delicious. I felt more energetic and ready to fight than I had a second ago, too. Maybe I was losing HP in here before due to boredom, because this dungeon was too easy. We meandered through the rest of the second level at a sedate pace. Killing alloprats as they appeared, working our way toward our objective of ten corpses. We had hit ten tiaras, and nine corpses.

We headed back when there was a door that hadn't been there before. It wasn't some hidden door, trying to hide, this door stood out. It begged to be kicked open.

"Ohhhh.... Boss fight room," I said. I'd watched my grandson play dork souls... or something like that.

"You can't really want to go in there?" Damon had grown braver since meeting me, certainly, but he wasn't that brave, yet.

"Hell yes, let's go in there. This is the starter dungeon, how hard could the boss fight be?" I know, famous last words. Lakshmi nodded, "Sure, let's fight the boss. Maybe that'll give me something to do other than watch you two idiots kill lizards. This wooden snooze fest was not exactly my idea of a great time so far.

"If you get in trouble I could step in," Theodore added, "Nothing to worry about Damon. Fight your heart out."

"Oh... I-""Tally-ho!" I shouted, full up on apple vigor, and ready to stab twenty rats, or whatever it was in there with my sword. I kicked the door in. God it felt great to kick a fucking door in again. The thrill! The power of a youthful body cannot be overstated when one has been over a century old. I charged through the fog cloud that covered the threshold almost unintentionally. I mean...

I had planned to blast into that room and violently murder the inhabitants, but when the door flew open at my mighty kick, and the fog still lingered, I hesitated. Gravity and my momentum did not, and so through it I went. I took a moment to gain my bearings. Stone! Wood too, in the torches ringing the large arena, and forming the boxes and other chunks of cover scattered around. This room was too big of a room to be here, it didn't fit in the space, it should be intersecting the floor above it.

It was the size of a football field easily. The roof was as high you might expect for a football field.

"How... the fuck?" I glanced behind me and saw the fog wall. I was sure they'd be along shortly. I looked into the arena, and stepped forward. The sound of heavy chains clinking gave way to a heavy thud, and three alloprats of unusual size came running out. I mean massive. They were the size of wolves. I dashed to cover. Heart pounding for what felt like the first time in thirty years.

I put my back against a thick wooden panel, and wished I had a rifle with a bayonet instead of sword, hah, bullets too, that'd be nice. I'm not a kendo master, or Hema master. I'm just a guy who fought in actual wars. I gripped my sword with two hands, like a baseball bat, and readied myself to stab or slash the first one of them bastards that got close to me. I stared at the fog wall, awaiting support, and listened to the giant alloprats sniffing and hopping amongst the boxes and wooden detritus not far from me.

If you encounter this story on Amazon, note that it's taken without permission from the author. Report it. Meanwhile, my friends were outside arguing over what to do. Theodore had warned them that Fog Wall boss encounters were terribly dangerous, if the rumors he'd heard were to be believed. Also incredibly rare, and incredibly rewarding if you survive. He immediately tried to join me, but the fog wouldn't let him through. He pushed, HARD too. The rest of the dungeon shook before he gave up.

"Must be party only."

"Well come on, Damon!" Lakshmi started to walk toward the fog, but Damon stayed still, terrified. Apparently a dork souls player in life. I was still in the end zone on my side, and the alloprats were at the thirty yard line, more or less, and closing quick. I skulked low and fast to the left, hopefully I'd be able to catch one alone and off guard. Well, hope in one, shit in the other. I miscalculated. They could smell me as much as see or hear me.

The one closest to me slowed, and sniffed, before calling its comrades over. What I needed was a distraction.

"Johnny! Where are you?" Lakshmi cried, hammer in hand, shield raised, and ready to go. The AOUSs started running her way, and sprang the trap I'd been preparing. I leapt from cover swinging that sword as hard as I could right at that big ugly fucker. I connected and hacked a deep cut into the thing's side, severing its forward right limb and sending it crashing, screaming to the ground. One of its alloprat buddies turned to come my way, but the other stayed on course toward Lakshmi.

She'd be fine, she was armored, and magical. I was just an asshole with a sword. I looked at the one I'd hit. 15/24 hp. Shit. I tried to close the distance between myself and the one I'd already slashed, to finish the job, but somehow on the way there his friend tackled me to the ground. I barely got my sword in the way of his mouth as he bit down on the blade. I really wish it was razor sharp, because this AOUS might have hurt itself biting it if so.

As it was though, the beast tried to rip the sword from my hands. I had one hand on the hilt, and the other holding the sword near its point. I realized as we thrashed about on the ground that the tip of the AOUS's snout was right in biting distance, so I pulled my face up and bit his ass back, right in the schnoz. It was not expecting that, and I was not expecting his three-limbed buddy to be back in the fight so fast.

The one on top of me jumped back and away, to avoid another nose biting, but the one I'd actually hurt, hurt me back. It sank its long pointy rodenty teeth into my calf on my left leg and started pulling me in toward it. I screamed in pain, and did my best to make a lunging swipe at it. My best was pretty alright, I felt the sword make contact with its head, and I also felt a distinct crunching biting sensation in my shoulder, as the one I'd bit came back for revenge.

I may have just slashed the eyes out of the one biting my leg, but it hadn't let go, and his friend now had me by the shoulder. I was not winning this alone. Fortunately, a radiant light came from over where Lakshmi was standing, the burst of magical energy hit the bastard biting my shoulder and sent it tumbling away, hissing and screeching. She had already caved in the skull of her 1v1 AOUS. Following her burst of light, a bolt of flame raced across the arena, and killed the one chewing on my calf.

I used my right foot to kick the thing away from me, and then lay there bleeding on the floor as Lakshmi raced over, her hands all a-glow. I blinked, hard, and the pain suddenly stopped. I opened my eyes and time was frozen, The Golden One was standing over me, glowing. Along with Them was what looked like a pharaoh holding a crook and flail. Lakshmi was there too, about to start healing me, but frozen. The gods were not frozen. First the Golden One spoke, "Awww come on Osiris, buddy, don't be a sore loser.

He's not dying here, even on a super rare event spawn."

"Double or nothing?" Osiris said.

"You know this event can have a phase two, right?"

"Hmmm..." The Golden One put a hand to their chin and stroked it in thought.

"Okay, I'll agree to phase two, double or nothing, but you have to give them a few minutes to prepare. He's too wounded to fight just now."

"Fine. Five minutes. Double or nothing."

"Deal" And then the pain returned. Left leg and right shoulder, screaming in agony. At least all three of the AOUS corpses remained big meaty corpses. Those things had to count for at least a few of the little ones each, right?

"Holy shit! Grampa, are you okay?"

"I've got you Johnny, I'll have you patched up in no time. Auric-""No! No big spell, don't waste your mana." I got out.

"We have five minutes until phase two."

"Oh, shut up, Johnny, big tough man. I'll be full mana again in five minutes. Auricalum Xhumparo!" The hot magic healing washed over me. My wounds sealed up and all the screaming nerves telling me I was badly damaged instead told me everything was super groovy. It felt like the 60's were happening inside my shoulder and leg for a moment, and then the electric kaleidoscope of misfiring nerve endings calmed back down and I felt... normal again.

"Well... That sucked." I sat up and grabbed my sword, which I had at some point dropped... probably when my shoulder got bit.

"Like I said, we have five minutes to prepare for phase two... whatever that is." Lakshmi rocked back on her heels and into a squat from kneeling next to me. She put a hand out to me, which I grabbed, and we both rose together. We turned to Damon, and he looked as white as a hospital bedsheet.

"D-d-did you say phase two?"

"Yeah... I have it on Golden Authority that we'll not be let out until it arrives." I looked back and the fogwall remained, though it had grown somewhat translucent. I could see Theodore on the other side, pressed into it. He waved at me when he saw me looking that way. I waved back. Ohh dammit, we really should have put him in the party.

"Damon, what do you know about 2 phase boss fights?"

"The second phase is always harder." He was getting paler and paler, making Steven look tanned. I'd even take that vampire in my party now; faster and probably stronger than I am. We could have a vampire bruiser. I noticed Damon was down to 1/4hp.

"Lakshmi, give Damon one of those dungeon apples. Maybe eat one yourself too, to pre-prepare."

"Pre-Buff." Damon corrected.

"Right." We all ate another apple. Maybe the buffs stack and I'd get 2 hp back an hour now. I felt no different, but I'd just been fully healed. After I devoured my apple with military efficiency, I decided that we'd best prepare the arena. Five minutes isn't a lot of time to make traps, but I did manage to pile up a good bit of flammable business in a couple spots. Maybe whatever phase two is, is flammable and we could bait into the kindling somehow. We did have a wizard that threw fire.

As I finished my third 'kindling trap', a deep rumble from the other end of the arena started, and the rattling of heavy chains told us some new monstrosity was about to be released.