Chương 989: Day Nine Hundred And Eighty-Seven

Dear Diary, I'd say 'something is wrong, and I have no idea what', but that's already getting old, even for me, even from inside my own head. I mean, I can describe what's happening. I'm still feeling shit, still reacting to shit, but it's like instead of stuff building up, when it gets to some point it all just flows out, leaving me empty. Shit, maybe it's not something long term. Maybe it's just some kind of injury or some shit like that.

But then if it's something like what I thought about yesterday, where it's just some kind of symptom of me growing up, or healing, or who the fuck knows what, I might have to deal with this forever, or until I hit my next milestone, or... Fuck. Seriously, seeing those fuckin' Spartans raining arrows on my Worshippers, on the Revelers, on a bunch of fuckin' Children should have pressed every berserk button I have. I should have lost my fuckin' mind. I should have done horrific things to those fuckers.

Okay, I just realized, with a rapidly draining flash of humor, that somehow I did not consider 'sloppy meat chunks' sufficiently horrific. Seriously, the Temple of Storms is gonna be cleaning blood out of their floor for weeks, and I don't think they have the incense budget to get the smell of pork out of the place. They still got off easy. But then, maybe so did I? I feel absolutely zero guilt about doing that. No guilt for killing them, no guilt for how I killed them.

Shit, I don't even feel guilty about 'weaponizing a Healing Spell'. I just ended them the fastest, most effective way I could. Protected my people. Protected everybody, really. Not sure if I got Vengeance for the folks they no doubt raped and murdered on their way to the southern tip of Phileo, but I figure 'execution' is as close to Justice as I could pull off. Holy shit, I'm not actually feeling guilty about executing four dozen human beings in under four seconds. I'm not even sure how to feel about that.

Y'know, if I could feel anything for any duration. As I lay there in a pile of warm bodies in the bedroom, each of them spending some time snuggled up to me, I realized that it really did feel wonderful. Warm. Cared for. Not, like, to the degree that it ought to. Not in any kind of building sense that would let me drift off into a pleasant haze, but as a sort of gentle, low level warmth. Almost like I was cooling off the whole time, but they kept pumping warmth into me.

When dinner time rolled around, Maze crawled over to where I lay in the middle of the bed, the two new kids nearby.

"Papa?"

"Yeah, Maze?" I smiled softly at the confused look on the two new kids.

"Can you come down to dinner?" I wasn't physically hurt. Not really; some minor dings from fighting the earlier Spartans was about the worst of it. Nothing I'd even ask Siobhan to Heal, even if she were decanted and planning on delivering Healing via tongue-to-sensitive spots. Just thinking that made me realize something was definitely wrong.

"Okay." I looked at Siobhan.

"If Darling sits in my lap and feeds me." Maze scrunched her nose.

"Okay. C'mon!" With one hand in Maze's, and the other arm carrying Siobhan, the rest of the family trailing along behind us, we walked down to the Dining Room. The kids had put on a spread of almost entirely unburned paninis. A not insubstantial amount of them were eggy grilled cheese, and two monster tureens of bisque sat on the center table. Maze looked up at me and said, "Mama helped with the bisque."

"Helped, huh?" She blushed.

"It's Siobhan's favorite!" I hugged her to me, then settled into my chair with Siobhan on my lap. Saffron drug her chair over to sit hip to hip with me, Siobhan's legs across her lap. Siobhan took her time dipping my eggy grilled cheese into the perfect tomato bisque in my bowl, while our Kitten delivered spoonsful of liver bisque to Darling. I tried to feed Saffron with my free hand, but she batted it away.

"I am fine, love. You, however, need some pampering. Sit. Be fed." You, uh, mind if I'm late to the Bath? Both of them Grinned at me. Gotta be some kinda Skill, because between the smell of post sex Siobhan, the feel of Saffron against my thigh and Darling in my lap, and that dual Grin, I definitely wound up oscillating between 'feels draining out' and 'desire for sexy times rising'. You did rather promise to clean her off before she bathed again.

When dinner finished, I Co-Located to walk the kids to the Bath room while I spirited Siobhan away. Saffron came with us, being incredibly solicitous of us both. Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.

"You okay, Kitten?"

"Of course, love. I simply want to be here, both in case your melancholy takes you again, and to do so in an effort to prevent it." I blinked as I tried to parse that, then stopped when Siobhan turned me to face her, the tiniest whine in her voice when she said, "please?" So I cleaned her. With my tongue. Weird, whatever was fucking with my emotions did not affect me physically that I could tell. No more than anything that fucked with my mood.

The weirdest part had to be how going from 'I'm doing this because my partner really wants it' to 'I desire something betwixt my nethers' repeatedly wound up with me more than typically lubricated. Around the third time Siobhan shuddered to stillness, and the first time my head rested against her belly for her daughter-to-be to kick me right in the face, Saffron chuckled.

"So, Darling. Does our Hero deserve rewards as well?" Before I could clear my mouth to answer or argue, Siobhan breathed out, "oh, yes." The world went topsy turvy for a moment, then baby belly rested on my chest, Siobhan parts in my face. Something right on the edge of way, way too big pressed against me. Well, love? May I? Not sure that's gonna fit... Siobhan giggled and gasped, "bigger than your arm." Hers or mine? Siobhan's fuzzy chuckle rubbed the inside of my skull.

"May I?" I'd really come to the Bedroom for Darling, but as I thought that she said, "I would like to see that, to feel your response to it, Mistress." Call me Tabitha, please?

"Would you rather I call you love?" Something about the way she said it filled me with warmth, with heat, faster than it could drain out. Do it. Yeah, not sure I was talking to Saffron with that, but also wasn't sure I wasn't. Forced my eyes to stay open to watch the two of them in the mirror. Their mouths sought each other out the moment Saffron's hips touched mine, and while my eyes were open, my hands and mouth active, my brain nominally functional, I could not tell you a single detail after that. Just...

Passion, filling me faster than it could drain away, until it peaked, and we all lay there for a moment in the afterglow. Then Siobhan giggled.

"I should probably get a shower now." Saffron sniffed, then giggled herself.

"Probably. Shall we?" We stepped down to the Bath room as the assorted kid games slowed and settled. We took turns bathing one another, then slipped in and soaked for a bit. As everybody looked to be getting sleepy, I turned to Saffron.

"Can we?" I nodded to the two new kids. She focused for a second, then sighed.

"Not yet." Then she pitched her voice to carry to the pair.

"There is a Boon granted to all of our children which makes it impossible for them to drown. We've used it many times to sleep here, in the Bath, without fear of mishap." The two relaxed, but it went all the way to slumping. The girl breathed out, "okay." They started climbing out, headed for the towels. I stepped out to towel them.

"How much longer, Kitten?" She replied immediately.

"If their chelation continues as well as it has been, no more than a week until they will be able to accept that Boon." I turned to them as I held the towel out.

"So. What do you say, kids? You want to stay with us? Permanent like, with all the Boons and everything?" They both froze, and I waggled the towel.

"You've got like a week to decide. Okay, no, you've got as long as you want to decide, but I can't drown proof you for another week." Maze piped up, "I wouldn't let them drown." I rolled my eyes.

"First of all, you've got a problem touching them right now, because of the Cold Iron, and second, can you do that in your sleep?"

"Maybe?" I smiled and gave my little pony girl a tentacle hug.

"Your enthusiasm for your new sibs and your thoughtfulness are noted, but let's not sleep in the bath until they're cleared out, okay?"

"Okay!" Yeah, I'd deliberately stopped focusing on the new kids, because they seemed a little whelmed. But then they both stepped forward for me to towel them off. I even got hugs! In the morning, Saffron pulled me over.

"The Spring Equinox celebrations are still ongoing." I frowned.

"Should I go back to the Revel?" She shook her head.

"I would suggest perhaps pausing the Reveling until you can be sure you'll be able to focus on your Worshippers."

"Ah, shit. I'm gonna disappoint people." My Kitten smiled at me.

"And so your response shows that you won't. We've a few days, love. I think perhaps you should visit your father today?" At my head tilt, she said, "to see if there is aught damaged in your Soul?" I took a deep breath.

"Yeah. Yeah, it's been a while, hasn't it?"

"Do you want us to come with you?"

"More than air, but you've all got work to do." She laughed.

"And despite everything, still my Goof. As noted, the celebrations are still ongoing. Everything is, as you would say, shut down, save those services needed for the celebrations."

"Okay." The talk of work reminded me of something.

"D'you think I ought to get back to work?"

"Work how?" I shrugged.

"Teaching. I figure I didn't fuck up PT too badly when I taught that." She tilted her head.

"May I set up your schedule?"

"Sure."

"Well then. I'll take care of that while we're at your fathers." After sorting out which kids would be coming along, because of course some of them wanted to see Grandma and Grandpa, and which ones would stay behind to keep the new kids company, we all stepped to Loki's cave. Loki sat on the end of his big stone bed, blanket over his lap, table in front of him.

Sigyn had been leaning against the table when we arrived, but surged forward to meet the wave of kids midway, scooping up a double armful of the smallest and hugging them as the rest glomped onto her. When I got over to him, I held out my arms, and he gently hugged me, then pushed me back far enough he could see me.

"Daughter."

"Hey Dad. Saffron tell you we were coming?" He smiled and shook his head.

"Marie."

"Heh. I figured as much. So, you up for some Soul realignment?" He blinked, then narrowed his eyes a little as he looked at me. I noticed the moment when his face went still, slipping from open welcome to a carefully crafted mask designed to keep the kids from knowing he was worried.

"What mischief have you done to yourself, Daughter?" I shrugged.

"Not sure. Was hoping maybe you could tell me?" He sighed, shook his head, then gently slapped the table.

"As you might say, you know the drill." I nodded, slipped off the casual skirt and blouse I'd worn over, then slipped up onto the table. Time moved oddly in Dad's cave, as oddly as it ever had. He spent moments, spent hours, spent an eternity poking, prodding, assessing my reactions, manhandling bits of me that didn't quite exist. As I felt the sun going down somewhere far to the west, he sighed.

"You've outdone yourself this time, Daughter."