Chương 977: Day Nine Hundred And Seventy-Five

Dear Diary, Every now and then, I really think I don't deserve any of my partners. I mean, in part that's been an ongoing struggle because of the self-image issues I arrived here and now with, not to mention the new ones I've gotten since then. When I had a convenient 'dark side' to blame, it became that much easier to do really fucked up shit and blame it on her. But now that I know her is me, I've got to own all that weird, wacky shit I've done.

The really fucked up impulses I've had, which back in the day I would have written off as intrusive thoughts, or decided they were the universe's way of telling me to go full yandere on the next dude to use my ass. Not as vengeance for using me or anything even vaguely sane like that, but as an excuse to go full on yandere. I don't know what the fuck I would have done if said dude actually wasn't a walking mass of red flags like I was back then. Probably ruined both our lives.

Thing is, here and now I had 'Big Black' to blame that shit on, and when I wasn't looking for reasons to abuse myself, I did.

'It's not me wanting to literally eat my lovers whole, that's just Mimic driving me to do awful stuff'. Yeah, look, whether it's a function of my oops-all-arms biology or some hitherto unknown vore kink, I still gotta own that shit. Which starts, honestly, with admitting to myself that it wasn't so much 'hitherto unknown' as 'hidden deep in a subfolder of my already labyrinthine porn folder'.

I believe I have mentioned once or twice that back in the day I was a woman of culture, and that, to my teenaged mind, meant sampling each and every potential kink via porn, and collecting the ones that lubricated the love tunnel. At any rate, talking about my self-image issues is a digression from my main point that even now that I've started working on those self-image issues, I've begun to realize that it's not my call to decide if I 'deserve' my partners. That's up to them.

My 'job', as much as any part of a relationship is a job, is to show them how much I care about them, to be there for them, in whatever way I can. But now and then one of them does something and I'm kinda gobsmacked by the idea that they've chosen me as their partner.

Chosen to bind themselves to me, whether as spouse or not, because somebody getting a form fitting collar that replaced part of the skin of her neck, made from that same skin, is kind of a serious commitment, and for an immortal to do that is a pretty big deal. When I think that she's the newest of my partners, even though it shouldn't and really doesn't matter, I'm even more in awe. At any rate, collapsed everybody back to the Homestead yesterday in time for dinner.

Marie had gone all in on food with more texture, but still stuff that wouldn't be too easy to choke on. Pasta. Stew. Veggies, both steamed and fried. Lots of water, and even some milk. Oddly enough, both of the new kids seemed like they enjoyed the milk. Okay, they drank it without being specifically told to. Not sure if that qualifies or not. When I realized that, I poked Murder Mittens with a thought, and by the end of the meal she brought out big mugs of hot cocoa with whipped cream for everybody.

Okay, for all the kids, because the adults got Rich Man's Port hot chocolate, Murder Mittens' special cinnamon spicy variant. Also with whipped cream on top, although it melted kinda quick atop the thick, gooey chocolate syrup. Somewhere deep inside me my rage at the Spartans, that I'd thought I'd had completely under control, slowly burned hotter and hotter as I realized that both of them showed absolutely no sign of liking, or even disliking the hot cocoa.

Like, not even normal kid 'this is weird' or 'sweet is good'. If I hadn't seen them willingly drink the milk earlier without being told to, I might have... No, abusing kids so badly that they couldn't even react to something as basic as 'sweet dessert' would have put me in murder mode no matter what, I think. Thing is, the kids were the victims. I absolutely could not let myself show any of that to them. So I sat there and helped them drink it, holding their cups up to let them take one little sip at a time.

Menace led the pair through using the toilet before we got in the bath. Apparently the boy had an accident during the day and I didn't even realize it. Pee rather than poop, thankfully. Of course, I realized as the girls helped them that Menace and the kits winced every time one of them touched either of the new kids. Worse, when I pulled Alex in to help Lindsey with helping the girl off the toilet, I realized that she was bleeding. Like, murder scene in the toilet.

A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation. Saffron? She saw what I needed before I said anything, and handed me a pair of panties with thick cloth in the crotch. I don't think she'd take well to something inserted. Like tampons or cups? Exactly. Didn't know those existed here and now. She smirked at me. They didn't. Things Changed.

"Thanks, Kitten." I grabbed a towel, wiped the girl clean, and gently helped her into the panties.

"Just until you stop bleeding, okay?" As usual, she didn't respond. I realized something else might be wrong when the boy left just as much of a bloody mess in the toilet as she had. The fuck? As I helped him into another of those super absorbent panties, Saffron thought, quick conference? The girls took over chaperoning the new kids through the shower. I thought for a minute about keeping them out of the Bath, but then I reconsidered, thinking about how excluding them might feel to kids that traumatized.

While they did that I stepped up to the Bedroom, where Saffron waited for me.

"So what's up, Kitten?" She sighed.

"It appears the chelation is working. The children will need food rich in iron for a while." I blinked.

"Chelation? The fuck?" She nodded.

"Yes, love. Siobhan and I worked with your father to acquire some medications."

"I could have done that, just tell me what you want." She smiled at me, laid a hand on my cheek.

"You've been focused on finding the other Spartans. And resting. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, we only did the work today, while you were Scrying after the Spartans." Dad? Any chance you could help Scry on the Spartans too? I wouldn't add very much. While I'm more Skilled, you are Scrying within your own demesnes. That gives you far more effectiveness than you realize. Still can't find them. He chuckled. If you cannot, I doubt I could without some material link or other way to connect to them.

But if you wish, I will still do so. I sighed at him. If you could, it'd make me feel better. Then of course I shall. Thanks, Dad. You're the best. I know. Saffron, who'd listened in on the whole conversation, nodded.

"Yet another reason I asked him rather than you for assistance with this, love." I pulled her to me, just holding her and stroking her hair.

"Thank you, Kitten." I'm not sure what she replied, because she said it right into my cleavage, but it had a kind of 'you're welcome' vibe to it. Enough that I took advantage of that welcome to pull her back onto the divan, snuggling her to me and resting my head in her hair. We stayed there, just like that, as we watched four of our girls help the new kids clean themselves off.

Ria, Maze, Menace, and the kits all hovered nearby, ready to leap in and help whenever they were needed, despite any pain or injury touching the Cold Iron laced kids caused them. So proud of our girls. I am as well, love. Very. thought Marie. Saffron and Siobhan helped those four girls get the new kids settled in the Bath in a new, clean set of panties for each of them, and then we just soaked for a while.

I noticed some redness drifting through the water around them, and most of our girls wound up avoiding that cloud. I sighed, pulled everybody out of the tub, and toweled them all down before bed. I've some ideas on decontaminating things, love. Until then... We may simply have to ask our girls to tolerate the inconvenience. I chuckled, and when she looked over at me, I thought, I can't express exactly how mad I'm getting without sounding like an edgelord.

I spent a little while explaining to the Saffron in the Bedroom what an edgelord was. Before long Marie arrived, followed by Siobhan, then Tallulah. We sat there on the divan, limbs intertwined, until Siobhan got queasy and we had to collapse back to the bedroom. Dreamt of my Maw apparently still, but after a while I realized the surface was vibrating with a constant, unrelenting rage. Not explosive. Not chaotic. But no less heated for all that.

In the morning, Saffron pulled another of me to her Academy office, where we spent the morning working with copper wire wrapped around an iron spike, and a copper implement with a rune not unlike the one I remembered from the engine room of the Black Dragon. After she managed to pick up some dust with the iron spike, she worked her way up through thicker spikes and wires. At one point she shifted to a bigger implement, one she had me hold and pour Mana into.

When I did that, I actually saw some weird ripples in the air around the spike. It also pulled the chair and desk toward me, which disrupted my concentration on feeding the thing Mana.

"Holy shit, Kitten? An electromagnet?" She smiled at me.

"For cleaning the toxic material from the bath. We'll need longer cables, of course, but we should be able to have it ready by tomorrow." Like I said, every now and then, one of my ladies does something to make me think I don't deserve them. Guess I just have to live up to that. To be the Goddess they think I can be. Gonna try, anyhow.