Chương 1032: Day One Thousand And Thirty

Dear Diary, Yeah. Yesterday was a little rough. Kinda like Isadora is a little on the big side. I swear, that messes with me something fierce at times. Like, she's not even a year old yet. How the fuck is she bigger than Marie and not even a year old yet. I swear I was not emulating a Jotnar when I put the kitten requisitions in to Murder Mitten's kitten mitten. Yes, I find absurd euphemisms for body parts fuckin' hilarious. I'm not sure if it's funnier when I'm fuckin' or when I'm not.

But either way, calling a body part, especially a private part, by some kind of goofy name will always get a chuckle out of me. Sometimes even a guffaw. At any rate, at this point most of the kits are looking more mature than any of their non-kit counterparts except maybe Boy and Girl. Fuck, they need to come up with names, because there are not creepy insanity inducing monsters chasing Sandra Bullock down a river here and now.

All the creepy insanity inducing monsters are, to the best of my knowledge, somehow related to me. Okay, the local ones are. I'm not counting Boltophsberg as local, which means Baba Yaga doesn't count. The Muscogee folks aren't... Fuck, they totally are local, but I'm pretty sure they're not the same local as the folks down in Arizona and shit, where they've got the Shapeshifters who, as Loki put it, give the rest of us a bad name. I think some of the Mesoamercian Deities are shapeshifters too.

Wait, no, that'd be Mesoatlantean. Or really, whatever they call the fuckin' continent. They were here first. I'm not gonna go all 'oh, we all have to leave' or anything like that, because all the local folks who used to live on the coast north of Compton are dead, and I didn't do it. Yeah, there's some kinda privilege there, I'm sure, but I'm not tryna fuck over the Muscogee folks or the Compton folks for their land or anything else.

Okay, I'm maybe down for doing some shady shit to convince the Mansa and Yakky to share more chocolate, but not, like, a lot of shady shit, because the amount flowing north via the 'black market' is plenty enough for relatively frequent desserts. Drivers' never runs out of chocolate for their cakes, nor does Rich Man's Port run out of chocolate for their hot chocolate. There is no need for chocolate to be added to every meal. If I keep telling myself that, I might believe it at some point.

At any rate, I'm not talking about doing shady shit to the folks in Compton or Muscogee anyhow, I'm talking about lending my shady shit services out in exchange for a bigger, blacker market. Now I'm thinking about the general complexion of about a quarter of the folks in Compton, remembering my Cards Against Humanity collection, and kinda wishing I had my old Bigger Blacker Box. To play with my ladies. Really. Yeah, ain't nobody fuckin' believe that, I'm sure. At any rate, yeah, yesterday was rough.

Not bad, not in an overall sense. I think I made some progress, learned some stuff about myself. Definitely got some support from my ladies, not to mention Dad. Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation. Funniest thing was when Sigyn greeted me upon our return to the Homestead.

Along with having the kids make some really sus meat pies and way more cookies than a smaller household than ours would ever need, she pulled me aside as Lymanette led the kids in delivering dinner to the rest of the family.

"Your father told me of your fear of abandonment." I shot her a kind of twisted smile.

"Did the kids hear?" She shook her head.

"Good. Don't want them getting ideas. Especially the older five." At her questioning look, I explained.

"All of them were orphans. Or maybe even abandoned." She nodded.

"They were, but you've taken them in and made them your own, shown them that you will not leave them behind, or allow them to... Well, they've occasionally been harmed, it's true, but you've never allowed them to remain harmed, or allowed those who harmed them to escape without consequence." I opened my mouth, but couldn't think what to say until she followed that up with, "even when they've hurt each other, with intent or without."

She pulled me into a hug, and I might have cried into her chest as I murmured, "thanks, Mom."

"What else are mothers for?" She chuckled, wiping my tears away.

"As for your own fears... I think perhaps you've taken many steps to quell your own fears, with all the time you spend with them. But perhaps you need to do so more mindfully."

"Huh?" She chuckled.

"Spend time with them, yes, but do so in a more focused manner, not unlike what you did over the winter." I thought about that while I ate my sus meat pie. I mean, it wasn't bad, but it was kinda weird. Like some kid had just sniffed at the herbs and spices and put in whatever they thought smelled good. Which isn't terrible if you don't go overboard. These are my kids I'm talking about. Of course they went overboard. As I hugged her before she left, I murmured, "thanks for the suggestion, Mom."

"Any time, Daughter." Then Lyman stepped her home, and she was gone, and for once I don't think I felt the slightest twinge of fear that she wouldn't be back, wouldn't be there when I needed her. I mean, it helped that I had a hotline to Dad in my head, and she rarely left his side, but still. But for whatever reason that really hit home, that comment she made. I spent our time in the Bath tonight playing with the kids instead of just lounging around like I've been doing lately.

After last night's big dinner and apparently getting run all over doing stuff by Grandma Sigyn and Grandpa Lyman, they wound up more in the mood for quiet little talks and sing along call and response things instead of Kaiju Mama. Which is fine too. I like that just as much, even though I'm not sure the kids realize it. Once all the kids dropped off and I put them all to bed, I spent the night taking turns spending time with my ladies.

I'm not gonna push myself for weeks on end without sleep or anything stupid like that, but I think I can handle one night without sleep in order to get some individual quality time with each of my partners. Funniest part of all that had to be when I woke up after an hour long nap where I dreamt of my ladies all focused on one tentacle while they watched reruns of my night. Saffron was lying atop me, staring at my face when my eyes opened.

"Hey, Kitten. Did you need something?" She chuckled.

"Perhaps a night when I can plan in the one location I know our enemies cannot overhear?" I snorted.

"Like you haven't been doing that for weeks." After rolling her eyes, she said, "yes, but still. I had plans last night."

"Is that a complaint I hear?" She just grinned at me.

"Nope. Just answering your question, is all." Felt so good I almost didn't run my Cadets ragged today. Almost.