Chương 41: Lemonade

A few months passed, while cultivating in the Frozen Pavilion, the only man allowed to stay inside. Then again... I was married with their Venerable, which made me family. And my Alchemist status made me a celebrity of sorts, once the initial discomfort passed. Frozen Elders came around to ask for a pill, or to buy the Face Lotion Milk for 10 spirit stones, which was the residue of my wives cleaning themselves up in a wash basin.

It did work a bit, partly by my Yang energy residue balancing their Yin, and partly by male hormones interacting with the female body and cleansing pores via cellular activation. I wasn't sure these things weren't the exact same. Whale sperm was a precious commodity on Pef's world for this exact reason, and was used in expensive perfumes, the local parlance for alchemy. And if a whale can do it... the milkman can do it too.

Anyway, the first real test of the White Stars came, and I went to see the girls meditate to form their Foundation, and brought a bottle of fresh milk lotion for the old Elder.

"If no one dies, this is my gift for you, Elder."

"And if one dies?" she asked in a cold voice.

"They can't die. My time is too precious." I argued with a smirk, and flew away.

"Stupid boy..." I heard the old woman mutter, but her tone seemed to agree. Sadly, even with Tian's methods the success rate was only 99% at Foundation. It was a good chance indeed, but providence always kept something back. Usually there was a flaw, a tiny crack in the Foundation. A regret, a loved one, an insult... anything really. Couldn't avoid this, so the mind had to be stronger. Even megaclans on the Central Continent had a few failures, although some might be deliberate sabotage from their own family.

Siblings vying for status or resources... It wouldn't happen if all those kids were placed in one room for their Foundation, and none would walk out if one did not. Sabotaging others to kill yourself wasn't done. Master Wushang's theories should work, I found them logical and solid. But the Heavens could sabotage you too. Oh well. I did my best. I stopped at a lemonade stand, where two young girls were making money from thirsty seniors.

"How much for a glass of lemonade?" I asked curious. The two girls blushed, not used to speaking with a man in their sect. So I just grabbed a glass and drank it.

"Hmmm. Not bad for free lemonade. Add a bit more honey and some mint, and I will buy a barrel for 100 spirit stones." I offered politely, then flew away. If someone asks the price, you tell him, or is free. I was such a good guy to teach the girl a life lesson... A beam of Nascent qi pressed hard on me.

"Stealing lemonade from young girls?" a woman's voice asked, but it wasn't a Venerable I knew. I glanced up, to see a delegation from another sect led by a woman in purple robes and half veil over her mouth only.

"Exactly, Venerable. This dastardly Core Realm has been planning for weeks to ambush the young girls and steal a glass of lemonade!" I answered with a guilty voice.

"Hmph! You're not funny." The woman glared at me, then moved away. I returned to the lemonade stand, and waited. When life gives you an opportunity...

"Hero Pef Tian... It's fine. Will you really buy a barrel from us?" one girl managed to say after an awkward minute.

"I would, if it tastes good. Thus, some honey and mint." I nodded and grabbed another free glass of sour lemonade.

"... It's 1 silver tael... hero." the second girl struggled to speak. I sipped the drink and scowled.

"Silver tastes better. I only drank because it looked free."

"It's that bad?" she asked curious.

"Well... that depends on context. If I was in a desert, and the only choices were a juicy scorpion or this lemonade... I would drink the scorpion venom. But if there was no scorpion, I would drink half of glass and use the rest to attract a thirsty scorpion." I explained with grand gestures. If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

"Haha! Come on! It's not that bad! I drank too..." the girl muttered and sipped a bit of lemonade, then scowled.

"It's quite bad..." I argued gently.

"..." the girls stared at their undrinkable product. A jade-like hand of a beauty took a glass of lemonade from the stand and brought it beneath her veil to taste the apple of discord.

"... I guess it depends on the scorpion. Those tiny green ones do taste better." the guest woman admitted with a sour voice.

"My tea is still worse though. Women have even threatened suicide, just to avoid it." I argued with a proud voice, leaving my interlocutors speechless.

"You are a bit funny, hero." the purple robed woman said with a tiny smirk, then vanished.

"She also drank for free. Want to know a secret?" I asked the confused girls. They nodded while I took a paper and wrote the price, and a tiny selling line.

"1 silver tael per glass. Better than Pef Tian's tea." and proudly nailed it to their stand. As I flew away... a huge crowd formed at the stand to buy the lemonade and gossip. I guess I solved the karma. Now... let's chase this tail. I flew to the main Frozen Palace, where my wife and other Venerables were holding the important meeting with this delegation, and entered like I was at home. Then I sat between Fenghue and Quinhue, and stole a cup of tea from their table.

"What's up? Big boss came to visit?" My wife sighed while Fenghue giggled.

"Did you just see a pretty flower and came to look closer?" she asked with surprising accuracy." She eats scorpions. I wanted to make sure my innocent fairies don't get scammed." I said with a protective voice, and let my hand fall on Fenghue's knee by accident. The Nascent Soul blushed and pushed me away, so I changed sides and held Quinhue's knee. My wife sighed again, and poured me tea in another cup.

"Pef Tian, behave." she muttered between her white teeth. I blinked innocently. What? I was behaving... badly. But that's a behavior too. Semantics are complicated.

"Purple Sand Sect. Did you bring what I asked for?" the Sect Master asked, while ignoring me. The purple-robed woman nodded politely, and took out a real Nether Cold Cactus Fruit, glowing purple with qi and medicinal miracles. A Tier 4 fruit! Likely for Minghue, considering its value. Sadly, it won't be enough to heal Minghue completely, but inside this fruit was a poison core. Deadly to most demons, and most humans too. Should I make a move? Should I wait and act as a victim?

"Too bad it's only one fruit. If they had more, I would trade them that Lotus Milk." I whispered to my wife, then stared sad into my tea. Whatever the Sect Master traded back was inside a jade box, but it was probably even more valuable. Cultivators never traded equally. Oh well. I wasn't planning for an equal trade. A few minutes later, the same purple-robed woman came to sit at my table.

"Hero Pef Tian, from the Blue Lotus Sect, right? Your fame has reached my Purple Sand Sect as well." I nodded gallantly.

"You mean my Alchemy skills, Venerable? I'm modest and can't claim to make Tier 4 pills yet." I answered humbly. Quinhue glared at me under her veil.

"Rumors say a pair of Core Elders fled the Blue Lotus Sect with something of high value. Could it be, this Lotus Milk I heard you have?" the woman asked with a velvet voice, and her eyes measured me curious.

"It might be. Are you rich enough to taste the heavenly wonder, Venerable?" I asked while opening my hand to reveal the first bottle of true Lotus Milk. Only inside wasn't pure manly milk, but also geomilk from the lotus pond, and a petal of the real lotus, dissolved gently to imbue the Dao. A poetic certificate of quality written by my wife Sakura hanged on the thin handle, attracting curious eyes.

"Feel the soul raise into Heavens? The sublime return to paramita? Heaven and Earth mingled like Yin and Yang?" she read aloud, and her eyebrows rose like a phoenix taking flight. Tian laughed in my mind, but luckily his flower couldn't move.

"That ancient poet has long transcended this mortal dust, Venerable. Would you care for a... smell?" I whispered and took off the jade cover, then waved a hand to send a whiff towards my scam victim. The woman's eyes widened as she sensed a very tiny bit of eternity in her nose.

"The Blue Lotus Sect had something like this? My cultivation trembled from a single breath!" she exploded in praise. Ah, she was exaggerating and scamming too. Venerable Ling, with whom I discussed the price of my milk over tea a while back, glared at me like a deadly laser. Another woman from her delegation, much younger and only in Core Realm joined our table.

"My name is Yao Chen, great hero. Can I ask about this natural wonder?" she asked in a cautious voice.

"Your daughter is very young, Venerable. Did you have her just decades ago?" I asked the other woman. Both of them coughed, and drank some tea to recover.

"Venerable Chen is my great ancestor, hero Pef Tian. There are 9 generations between us." the young woman explained politely.

"Magnificent skin tone, I must say, Venerable Chen. You look like a young mother. With my Lotus Lotion, it could get even better though. You'd look as fresh as this precious desert flower." I offered another bottle, a bit larger and less resplendent. A few drops of geomilk over bathwater won't change the effects too much.

"Ah, this Lotion is for external use then? Only the skin?" the Venerable asked with a knowing voice. I nodded gently.

"Skin and hair. The few ice fairies rich enough to test it are very happy now." I allowed politely. Fenghue patted her neck, trying to hold her laughter in. However, to an outsider it would look like she was showing off her soft skin.