Chương 7: The Constitution of the Archive

Bart sat at his oak desk, staring down at his Beaumont Public Library mug. He took a sip of the green tea he had tried to make from the break room offerings. It tasted like something cows would love!. He pushed the mug away and sighed. Across the desk, Gregor had barely taken three bites of his squished turkey sandwich. Before Bart could ask him how it tasted, the plain white bathroom door began to shake. It did not just rattle. It vibrated so hard that the heavy wooden STAFF RESTROOM sign swung wildly above it.

The edges of the door glowed with a bright, angry purple light.

"Gregor," Bart said calmly, sitting up straight.

"Did you close the door all the way?"

"I always close the door!" Gregor said, dropping his sandwich. BANG. The magical tracing had been immediate. The white door exploded open, the toilet-flushing sound totally drowned out by a loud boom of thunder. Three men stepped through the door and onto the floating stone floor of the Archive. The man in the front was exactly five feet tall. He wore bright, shiny gold armor and a jeweled crown. The stone floor actually cracked under his heavy metal boots.

The air around him seemed to warp and bend with raw, angry power. He was small, but he carried the dangerous presence of a true king. Behind him stood a tall, serious old man in gray robes with glowing purple hands. Next to the old man was a skinny, nervous man carrying a giant stack of blank scrolls and a feather pen.

"There he is!" the powerful little king yelled, pointing a thick finger straight at Gregor. His voice shook the dust on the floor.

"The rat who stole my masterpiece!"

"Uh oh," Gregor whispered, hiding under Bart's desk.

"That is King Aurelius." Albert the skeleton stopped sweeping. He leaned on his broom and looked at the intruders. King Aurelius glanced at Albert, paused for half a second, then visibly decided that being frightened of a talking skeleton would be beneath him. The king stomped forward. The magic rolling off his armor made the air feel heavy.

"I demand my book! It is the greatest book ever written! The smartest wizards tell me, 'Sire, your book is perfect.' Give it back or burn!" Bart stood up slowly.

"Sir, please lower your voice. This is a library."

"I am the King!" Aurelius screamed. He looked past Bart and saw the new, wobbly, gold painted shelf. He saw his giant shiny journal sitting on it. Then, the king saw the brass plaque. MOST IMPORTANT SECTION IN ALL REALITIES. Aurelius smiled.

"Well. At least you know how to treat greatness." But then he looked up at the wooden sign floating above the shelf. Highly Exaggerated Memoirs. The king's face turned completely purple.

"Exaggerated? Lies? How dare you! Burn this place to the ground!" Aurelius pointed at the old man in the gray robes.

"Mage! Destroy them! Destroy the shelves! Destroy the skeleton!"

"Yes, my King," the Elite Royal Mage said. The mage stepped forward. He raised both hands high in the air. He began to chant in a dark, ancient language. The air in the Archive suddenly grew incredibly hot. A massive, swirling ball of bright orange fire appeared between the mage's hands. It grew larger and larger until it was the size of a wagon. Gregor scrambled beneath the desk, Bart felt the hair on his arms stand up. The fire seemed real. It was going to melt his new desk to ashes.

Bart pointed his finger right at the giant fireball.

"Rule Number Three," Bart said, using his loudest, sharpest Library Voice.

"No open flames in the reading room." The glowing blue System screen flashed in the air. Rule Enforced: No Open Flames. Cost: 15 Mana. (Mana remaining: 4) Action: Extinguish. As soon as the text appeared, the giant, roaring fireball stopped making noise. It did not explode. It did not fly across the room. It just... shrank. Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

In the blink of an eye, the wagon sized ball of magic squeezed down until it was the size of a tiny birthday candle flame. It floated sadly in the air for a second, then dropped to the floor with a pathetic little hiss. Albert walked over and casually swatted the tiny spark with his broom. The fire went out entirely. The Elite Royal Mage stood frozen, his hands still raised in the air. He looked at his empty hands. He looked at the floor. He looked at Bart.

"My magic," the mage whispered in absolute terror.

"It just... said no."

"Yes," Albert said, resting on his broom.

"The Archive is rather strict about policy." Deep, ancient bells suddenly rang out in the empty space above them. Every floating shelf began to shake. Thousands of invisible pages fluttered in the air, creating a sound like a giant flock of birds taking flight. The System screen expanded, shining brighter than before. SYSTEM ALERT: FOUNDATIONAL THRESHOLD REACHED Three (3) temporary directives have now been successfully invoked under mortal threat. Converting Directives into Permanent Passive Laws.

The Constitution of the Archive has begun. ARTICLE I UNLOCKED: Reading Room Rules Future enforcement cost for Rules 1, 2, and 3: 0 Mana. Albert looked up at the glowing blue text.

"It has begun," the skeleton whispered quietly. Bart looked at his hands. These were no longer temporary commands. Bart was writing the physical laws of the Archive. Next to the shaking mage, the skinny man with the scrolls did not look scared at all. He had wandered over to the new Crime Section. He was gently touching the wood.

"The shelf spacing here is excellent," the skinny man whispered to himself, his eyes shining.

"Perfect alphabetization. Oh, the cataloging!" Bart watched the skinny man admiring the shelf. I like this guy, Bart thought.

"Stop looking at the shelves, Thaddeus!" King Aurelius yelled, marching right up to Bart's desk. He completely ignored the fact that his royal mage had just been defeated by a single sentence.

"I do not care about your magic tricks, peasant," Aurelius demanded, crossing his arms.

"Give me my journal. Now." Before Bart could answer, the Almanac of Inevitable Doom swooped down from the ceiling. It floated right in front of the king's face.

"The king is currently standing on his tiptoes to look taller," the flying book wrote in bright red ink.

"It is not working." Aurelius gasped and tried to punch the book, but the Almanac easily dodged him and flew back up to the ceiling. Bart opened the top drawer of his desk. He pulled out a thick, official ivory card with bright gold corners and a stamped red wax seal. He placed the card on the desk and slid it toward the king.

"I cannot just give you the book," Bart said calmly.

"It has already been processed. It belongs to the Archive now."

"It is mine!" Aurelius screamed.

"And you are welcome to borrow it," Bart said, tapping the heavy ivory card.

"For a period of exactly three weeks. But to do that, you must register." Aurelius stared at the card in pure disgust.

"Register? I am King Aurelius! Ruler of the Golden Realm of Tremendia! I do not register!"

"If you want to read your book, you do," Bart said.

"Sign your name. Print clearly." The king looked at the quiet librarian. He looked at the giant skeleton. He looked at his terrified royal mage. Gritting his teeth, King Aurelius snatched the pen from Thaddeus the Royal Historian. He scribbled his name angrily onto the ivory card. As soon as the ink dried, the card glowed blue and vanished. SYSTEM ALERT: NEW PATRON ADDED Name: King Aurelius of Tremendia. Status: Standard Membership. Library Membership Approved.

Bart stood up, walked over to the wobbly gold shelf, and picked up the giant, shiny journal. He walked back and handed it to the very angry king. King Aurelius grabbed his book. A proud smile spread across his red face. He flipped the heavy gold cover open to the middle of the book.

"Ah," the king said happily, pointing at the page.

"Year seventeen. I created the second moon. Yes, I remember that perfectly. Hard work." He flipped another page.

"Year twenty-six," the king read aloud.

"I invented gravity. Still true." By the shelves, Thaddeus closed his eyes and looked like he wanted to die inside.

"Your book is due back in 21 days," Bart told him.

"If you return it late, the Archive will collect a fine."

"A fine?" Aurelius laughed a mean, sharp laugh.

"My kingdom wins every war, every tournament, and every royal beauty contest! We have become exhausted by victory! I will never return this! Keep your stupid fine!" The king slammed the book shut, turned around, and marched toward the white bathroom door.

"Come, Thaddeus!" Aurelius yelled.

"But Sire, I must stay!" the Royal Historian begged, looking around the dark space.

"The index needs me! Also, those shelves over there are breathing strangely!" Albert immediately froze. The skeleton looked at the dark space Thaddeus was pointing at.

"... They should not be doing that."

"Now!" the king screamed. The historian sighed sadly, lowered his head, and followed his king and the shaking mage through the door. Whoosh. Gurgle. Just before the door vanished, King Aurelius stuck his head back out.

"By the way," the king sneered.

"Your tea does taste terrible." The door slammed shut and vanished completely. Bart stood in silence. He looked at his mug of green tea.

"Well," Bart muttered.

"He might not be wrong about the tea." Gregor slid back out from under the desk.

"Boss. He said he is never going to bring the book back."

"I know," Bart said. He sat back down in his plastic chair. The blue System screen popped up one last time, hanging quietly in the air. SYSTEM NOTICE Patron has declined to acknowledge return date. Overdue Fines: Pending. Collateral Accepted: The Kingdom of Tremendia. Bart took a slow sip of his terrible, hot grass tea. He looked at the screen.

"I really hope he is late," Bart said.