Chương 1041: Day One Thousand And Thirty-Nine

Dear Diary, On the one hand, I still really want to make a baby with Archmage Sister Siobhan Darling. She is adorable and cute and lovable and I have urges that I cannot explain, but don't really think I have to. On the other hand, I can totally respect and understand if after this pregnancy she declares that her womb is closed down permanently. First she suffers through what, a whole assed year of severe 'morning' sickness.

Then, not long after Hailee really came into her own and got her settled to the point she could kinda sorta live without constant retching and nausea, she gets impaled by some asshole Spartan. Which yeah, I get it, that's not technically something any rational person could blame on her being pregnant, but when it comes to the desire to grow a whole assed new Human Adjacent being like some kind of sexy, sexy von Neumann machine, rationality don't really enter into it. Then today.

So I hadn't really noticed over the past couple days, or really I'd noticed but hadn't really realized the import of Siobhan seeming just a little bit grouchy. Nothing overt, nothing I can rationally blame myself for missing, not like that's gonna stop me, but she'd just been in a bad mood.

Okay, that should have been a huge warning sign right there, because the closest our Darling has gotten to a 'bad mood' before she got pregnant was being particularly insistent about performing her Concubine duties even when she was so overworked and exhausted that she was passing out midway through half the time.

When it takes being half worked to death to dull somebody's shine, and their primary shine dullness was expressed via refusing pillow princess treatment and falling over mid shenanigan, I really should have noticed when she'd been grumpy for a couple days. Taught Math class yesterday.

It's a little weird but I've got a new group of kids now, so we're starting out with basics again, so I'd spent the day reviewing basic Arithmetic for the brand new, almost innumerate kids, and really basic equations for the kids just starting Variable Equations. While the kids aren't nearly so random as my first few Seasons teaching, they still don't go for a whole Season. They spend maybe a month and a half in one class, then they move on to another one.

Usually some other subject, like the kids I had last week are doing Reading or Literature or shit like that now. So weird that the classes are broken into 'Math' and 'Reading', because History and Civics are pretty much covered in 'Reading', and Science... Isn't a thing. I'm pretty sure the Deities here and now did unto Aristotle not unlike they did unto Hephaestus, because nobody knows who the fuck he was. Plato, sure, but not Aristotle. At any rate, got home to find Sigyn had the kids making soup.

Some broth, some stew, some bisque. Even some mixed liver bisque that wound up surprisingly tasty. Should have realized something was going on when Siobhan pouted as she ate it.

"You okay, Darling?" She took a deep breath, forced something not unlike a smile, and said, "just feeling out of sorts."

"Gonna need me to hop you up to the water closet?" She pouted a little.

"No. No, I don't think so. It's more discomfort than nausea." I had a thought just then. I lifted her into my lap to spoon more bisque into her, and while I held her dropped some will and Mana into my Comfort Skill. Not sure what I expected, but she wound up scarfing down the rest of the bowl of bisque, then immediately falling asleep right there in my lap with the last mouthful dripping out of her lips.

I carried her up to the Bath room, sponged her down in the shower while she just mumbled and drooled, then took her into the Bath itself, where she fell back to sleep. A few minutes later, Saffron slipped in next to her as the rest of the family arrived.

"Stealing away my baby mama now?" I chuckled a little at that.

"Figured I'm the one in the room who doesn't actually need to eat, so I'd let you finish dinner while I brought her up here." She leaned across Siobhan to kiss me. Then, with our foreheads pressed together, said, "thank you, love. You take such good care of us." The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation. I shrugged.

"Meh. I do what I can when I can. Not like I can do jack shit when I'm out of service after doing crazy Deific stuff, so when I'm more or less in good shape like now, I figure it's my turn to take care of you guys like you've done for me when I've kicked the shit out of myself."

"You still need to learn to duck better." I just gave her a look. I hadn't forgotten last night. When we had everybody settled, I scooped her up and dumped her on the Bed, where she looked up at me.

"So, is this to be vengeance for last night?"

"Nah. No need. That was kinda fun. Weird as fuck weird assed fuck, but fun."

"So what are we doing here then? I mean, other than the obvious?" I Shapeshifted just enough, shot her my best evil grin, and said, "learning to duck." Hey, what's good for the goof is good for the goose, right? Something like that. She might have been walking a little stiff when I dropped her off at Alliance HQ, but that was probably due to the complete lack of sleep either of us had gotten.

For my part, I hit the Camden Yards Practice Yard early, Blended myself, Co-Located, and drifted through the halls looking for the Camden Yards Heroic Academy Dining Hall. At which point I got really envious, because yes, the Drivers had the Academy cooking staff following their recipe books. The crepes were a little eggier, like a high protein version of their normal dessert stuff, but still tasty as fuck. I only stole the one, so none of my Cadets went hungry.

Definitely gonna show for breakfast there from now on. I didn't get to see lunch. Just before then, Dad thought, Tabitha, you're needed. I will fill in for you. I didn't ask what or how he'd fill in for me, because I didn't think he'd have that urgent tone unless it was, y'know, urgent. Also, he'd Shapeshifted into me for Monday, so I figured he'd do that again rather than letting the Cadets know something was wrong. If something was wrong. Where? The reply came from Marie rather than Dad. Bedroom.

I Blended as Dad appeared where I'd been standing, then stepped back to the Bedroom to find Siobhan lying there on the bed, lying on her side and groaning in pain.

"Oh, shit! Baby time!" Marie nodded, then said, "Warm Cloths." I moved to comply, then remembered the night before.

"Swap?" She shrugged and let me slip tentacles in to replace her claws, then stepped away while I took over holding Siobhan, pouring Mana and will into my Comfort Skill. Yeah, it did not work nearly as well on contractions as it did on whatever had been bugging our Darling. Okay, she managed to groan out, "thank you, love," but she did not sound properly comforted. More like top shelf acetaminophen than an epidural.

I Assessed her just to make sure everything was going okay, realized that the 'undergoing contractions' wasn't really enlightening, then felt really awful about not learning more about the granular readout, what with my own personal cheat for that being mostly out of commission at the moment. Kitten? Baby time. Shit! A moment later Saffron appeared, then proceeded to spend like ten minutes asking Siobhan if everything was okay.

Weird time to realize my Kitten was not the best birthing partner, but fuck it, that's why there are five of us; odds are for any given task where one of us sucks, there are two who can play the tune if somebody hums a few bars, and at least one of us who is an actual professional. I mean, the Actual Professional™ for birthing and related shit was in fact not available due to Ongoing Contractions, but I'd helped Marie out and I could do the same for Siobhan.

Right about then Marie returned, arms full of warm, slightly damp hand towels. I helped her lay them on a few strategic spots, and Siobhan's distress level seemed to drop from 'ongoing contraction' to 'mid-contraction exhaustion'. That's when I saw Saffron do her own Assessment.

"That's strange..." My everything tensed.

"Strange is not good. What's wrong?" She shook her head.

"Assess says she's undergoing contractions, but... She's not dilating?" Sometimes I'm not sure Status didn't flake out entirely when it came to my Reason and especially my Memory, but right then a bunch of shit I'd read back in the day when one of my friends got preggers popped into my head.

"Braxton Hicks." That got me a round of uncomprehending stares.

"Pardon, love? Who is that?" I blinked, shook my head, trying to remember the other term, but also trying to sort out of there was any way to confirm or deny my suspicion, or at least improve Siobhan's condition.

"Uh, Marie? Could you get her some water please?" Marie nodded, and a moment later another of her arrived holding an Academy stein. She handed it over, and I lifted Siobhan and shifted her around enough to pour some water into her mouth. She spluttered a little at first, but after the first swallow she grabbed the stein out of my hands and gulped it down. When she came up for air, she looked at Marie and said, "more please."

After downing another stein and half emptying a third, she dropped the stein, flopped back, then curled up a little, crying. Not, like, sobbing uncontrollably the way I thought she might if Siobean had something wrong with her, but just the kind of tears that come from overwhelming frustration. I poured more Comfort into her and asked, "what's wrong, Darling?"

She took a deep breath, wiped her eyes, then in the most 'I am ten thousand percent done with this shit' tone I'd ever heard from Siobhan, growled out, "false labor."