Chương 1116: Day One Thousand One Hundred And Fourteen

Dear Diary, Yeah, I'm still reeling a little bit after Aisling's announcement yesterday. Okay, maybe it wasn't exactly an 'announcement', but it was definitely more than she's done before, and made me feel both exhilarated and terrified. Seriously, there are few things in life that have that combination. Shit, I'm not sure I ever found that combination until after Saffron and I hooked up, because for either of them to hit as hard as Aisling's pronouncement hit me, you've got to have skin in the game.

Which, from the moment my fingers found themselves tangled in Saffron's hair, I have. Kinda funny that I spend so much time talking about her tits and ass and so little talking about her hair, but that might be some part of me that's still twelve talking. Not just the 'oh, twelve year olds are perpetually horny little bastards', but 'twelve year olds aren't mature enough to talk about intimacy comfortably'. At least I wasn't, and some part of me still isn't.

By intimacy I'm talking about actually sharing something deep and meaningful with someone, not just fondling naughty bits. But yeah, kinda telling that I reached for her hair. At any rate, when she told me she wished she could have a mother like me, I definitely tensed up from more than just that moment of Hope and Terror. I also tensed up because not only had every conversation about parents which included or tried to include her wound up with her losing her shit.

The fact that her saying 'I wish' when she was not just part Fae, but part Sidhe as well. Which meant she might have a Blessing knocking around, and thus the words 'I wish' set off some deeply buried alarm bells in my guts. Still, I couldn't say anything but what I'd said. Which did not exactly have the results I'd hoped for. Instead of clinging to me or calling me 'Mama', she just shook her head, repetitions of 'no' devolving into keening. I pulled her to me, and she buried her face in my side.

At that point, before Menace or Hailee could react, the most amazing thing happened. Her keening lowered, and Hailee and Menace both froze. Slowly, Aisling went completely quiet. She soothed herself until she broke down into sobs, which gradually quieted into itty bitty snores.

"Well. That's progress, at least," murmured Doc Glass. I managed to avoid shooting him a booger look, but mostly because when I looked up at him I realized he was absolutely serious.

"Really?" He nodded.

"I don't think any of us have seen her self-soothe before. While Joe and I weren't able to pay much attention when she lost herself and started wailing at the Temple, I don't believe she stopped herself that time, did she?" I shook my head.

"That would be Hailee, with some help from Menace. Isnomi." Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website. He pursed his lips.

"I'm not sure that's a completely healthy nickname for a toddler." That got a quiet chuckle.

"Yeah, well. First, you didn't live with her. Second, I'm pretty sure Deities don't choose their Titles." He went quiet.

"That's a Title?" I nodded.

"Well. I can't see how such a sweet little girl would come by a Title like that, but..." He shook his head, obviously confused. I kind of sighed.

"You know her brother, right?"

"Jack?"

"No, Conrad." When he looked at me a little confused, I realized that either he hadn't really understood that Conrad was my adopted son, or maybe Conrad very deliberately Blended that away from people for whatever reason.

"The Weyland Smith." Yeah, he knew that name.

"He's her... He's your son?" I nodded.

"Adopted, but yeah. Two days after I adopted him, I had to tell her to stop bullying him." He chewed air for a minute before I smiled, chuckled, and said, "yeah, I think she's a good kid, but she's also the Mor Primordial of Predators. Parenting her has been a challenge sometimes." After another minute of processing, he smiled and shook his head.

"So what you're telling me is that Deities, for all their power, are fundamentally still people, in the sense that they have just as many personal failings?" I nodded, but said, "I mean, yeah, but we've got personal strengths, too. And," I sighed, "we've got all that power, which means there's that much more need for us to keep our failings in check."

"Not all Deities would agree."

"The ones that don't will find my foot shoved firmly up their ass if they try that shit anywhere in my line of sight." He thought about that while I gathered everybody up and stepped us home for Bath and Bed. As we all soaked, he floated over.

"Pardon, Tabitha?" When I smiled and nodded without opening my eyes, he asked, "don't you worry that you're taking the Agency of those Deities away?" I shrugged.

"Sometimes, yeah, but we take the Agency of criminals away when they break the law. Sometimes if we catch them in the act, we do it before they finish the crime. So if, y'know, some Deity decides to do an atrocity, I'm gonna take away their ability to do that." After a moment's pause, I added, "other than maybe cleaning up their messes, I don't force them to do anything most of the time."

When he looked doubtful, which I'm not gonna go into how I knew with my eyes closed, because for whatever reason floating in the Bath with my eyes closed, completely relaxed had my whole 'perception' thing going on despite not being un-Blended down to being a tentacle, I added, "okay, now and then I'll suggest that any Deity worthy of the name will help out in ways that only Deities can, like lending their Mana to their Clergy to help Cure people of Plague or Undeath." He smiled.

"It's refreshing to hear a Deity speaking of holding other Deities accountable. Even more so to know that you've done so in truth." I smiled back.

"Thanks, Doc." Oddly enough, I completely meant that. He might not be Siobhan, but Doc Glass was definitely one of the more morally unambiguously solid people I knew. Fell asleep in the Bath, woke up as everyone was getting out, and helped move the bigger girls who'd fallen asleep down to the bed. Fortunately Isadora hadn't fallen asleep. I didn't need to throw my back out like I had with Florida again. Okay, I kid, but mostly because I woke up when she'd lifted me out of the Bath.

Dreamt of my ladies sitting around a table floating in my Maw, dissolving as they compared a pair of scrolls. Spent all day today with one of me sitting next to Saffron while she reviewed the original Constitution of the Alliance with the Captains. Another of me took the opportunity to hit the Academy and read some of those chained up tomes on Shaping, while my final Co-Located self sat with Aisling and Maze while Maze read Guards! Guards! to a bunch of the Homestead folks. Mostly kids, but not all of them.

I think some of the Women and Maenads missed her reading to them.