Chương 1050: Day One Thousand And Forty-Eight

Dear Diary, Y'know, I know I've mentioned that I hate waiting, but here's the weird thing; it's absolutely worse when I don't know when the fuck whatever I'm waiting for is gonna happen. Yeah, I've got a certain amount of that neurodivergent need to keep my schedule clear for an inordinate amount of time before some scheduled event, but that's where my whole ADHD thing comes in handy. As the memelords have decreed, the call is coming from inside the house.

I can distract the fuck out of myself for a ridiculous amount of time with nothing but my own brain. Yeah, I used to do that shit with my phone, but that was just a convenient excuse, really. I didn't need jack or shit to distract myself from the passing of time. If I even noticed said time passing, because that's another one of those things that is awful in most circumstances but really fuckin' useful when you're waiting for something.

Except for me it only works if I know when whatever the fuck I'm waiting for is gonna happen. I'm not one of those clockwork engineer types, I don't need a precise number of seconds, minutes, hours, or even days. Okay, not knowing how many days might suck, although again if I know it's 'on the Solstice' or 'on my birthday' or some other fixed point in time, I can totally vibe with that.

It's like there's one of those computer progress bar jobbers somewhere in my head, and it's steadily filling up, and when it's done the thing I'm waiting for happens. I mean, okay, I've had problems now and then when that whole 'lack of sense of the passage of time' bites me in the ass because I didn't set an alarm or anything and I miss whatever I was waiting for entirely. ADHD is not a superpower, it's just a different way of processing brain information.

I think the term is 'neural architecture', but I haven't been able to Scry up anybody surfing for that precise shit lately, so I'm relying on my admittedly shitty pre-isekai memory. So that might not be the right term, but it gets the point across. Neurodiverse folks don't not think, even those of us who are epic dumbasses, we just think different.

Sometimes that thinking different is useful, like I read where folks like me would be great at standing watch at night while the rest of the tribe slept, because I just have to stay awake until dawn. Which, Deific shenanigans notwithstanding, happens at a reliable time every day. Yes, I am aware of orbital mechanics and how they gradually change that time day by day, but it's not changing so fast that it feels like it's changing, and if I cared enough to do the math I could figure it out.

Like, dawn tomorrow is gonna be a few minutes after five AM. I am now trying not to lose my shit over the fact that I just did that shit in my head, and the only reason that I can't be more precise is that we don't really have precision clocks here. I still wanna get one of those, by the way. Kitten? Yes, Goof? Can we get a clock? I felt kinda bad when her fatigue hit me. Forgive me, Goddess. I'd intended to, I looked into it, but it's not been a high priority lately.

Oh, hey, Kitten, no, don't beat yourself up about it. Shit's happened. Let me take that off your plate? That got me a chuckle. What? You stealing something from a plate that isn't edible? Wait, clocks aren't edible? True. I forgot who I was talking to. Yeah, that banter happened well after sundown, while Saffron was using some of our surprisingly large supply of washcloths to give Siobhan a sponge bath. She'd been in labor for over twenty-four hours at that point, and there was no end in sight.

"Is she dilating properly?" Yeah, I remembered what went wrong with Bonnie. Canta sighed and looked up at me from where he sat on the bed in reach of his High Priestess. Our High Priestess. Who, I reminded myself, cared about her just as much as we did. At least I thought he did. He didn't not care for her, or care for her like one of those assholes who sees people as assets. Frequently fungible assets. He turned back to her, laid one gentle hand on her bare belly, then after a minute turned back to me.

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"She is dilating."

"Not exactly what I asked, dude." He winced, and I shook my head.

"Sorry, I'm just nervous as fuck. I don't handle waiting well." He chuckled.

"Strange. You seemed to handle the siege of Calverton fairly well." That got the shrug it deserved.

"Yeah, well. I knew how and when that was gonna end from like a month before it did. My plan, my timing, my initiative to take. But this? Not my kind of waiting."

"Sorry," Siobhan's hoarse whisper tore at me.

"No! No, Darling. Sweet Ice Pop, no. You did nothing wrong." She smiled at me, her hair lank, her eyes bloodshot.

"I may not have done anything wrong, but I haven't completed the task you're waiting for me to complete." I shook my head.

"Stop that. No guilt, Sister Siobhan Darling. None. Zero. Zip. Nada. Stop it entirely. You have done everything you could to this point, and you're doing everything you can now."

"I..." She trailed off, then grimaced as another contraction hit. The kids slept in their rooms again. At Canta's suggestion, I slipped a slow rolled Stabilize into the back of Siobhan's neck, because while she could keep water down, in fact she guzzled it every time we brought her a fresh stein, food was another story entirely.

Even the mention of hard tack crackers or jerky had her going a little green, which was not a good look with her already alternating between pale and flushed depending on the stage of her current contraction. Some time after dawn "Is Siobean gonna be okay?" Canta mouthed that name, the ghost of a smile touching his lips.

"It is."

"She." He looked like he was gonna argue, then thought better of it.

"She." Then he sighed.

"Forgive me. I'm used to parents holding themselves aloof until the child hits some milestone. Usually their first Solstice."

"Yeah, well. Our Siobean is gonna live. Period." He chuckled.

"As I noted, she very much will, likely for far longer than even most Dan." At that point I was sitting on the bed, holding a stein, waiting for Siobhan's latest contraction to pass. While the rest of us cycled through, Saffron had been by Siobhan's side since the whole event started. I wasn't gonna call it a blessed event, because holy fuck our Darling was already lookin' beat to shit, and we hadn't even seen, like, Siobean's head or anything yet.

Then the sun rose, and a wave of Worship washed over me, followed by some home grown guilt. Oh, shit. Karen, I'm sorry! That got me a chuckle into my brain. Worry not, Goddess. Your Clergy have let your faithful know why you've gone missing. They eagerly await Sister Siobhan's return, especially in the new Temple in Newark. I still feel a little guilty for missing the Revel. I totally forgot about it. As I said, worry not, Goddess. We've stood in your stead before, and shall no doubt do so again.

Another thing hit me at that point. Can you let Headmaster Miles know where I am? Already done, Goddess. I hope you don't mind me filling in for you in the Practice Yard? Oh, hell no. I don't mind at all. I had a thought just then, and asked, as me, or as you? I thought it presumptuous to take your form in this case, Goddess. So, 'as me' as you said. I kinda deflated at that point. Thanks, Karen. I owe you. You most certainly do not, Goddess.

Yeah, that last wound up being so certain and sure that I just shut my mouth and went back to holding Siobhan's hand. Some time in the early afternoon, with Marie sitting next to Siobhan and Canta and I just standing around eating some sandwiches Sigyn had brought us, I had a thought and let it out before it died of loneliness.

"Should we be looking at a C-Section?" He gave me a confused look.

"A what?"

"Uh... Dunno what it's called here. I kinda did one for Bonnie. It's where you carefully slice open the mother's belly and remove the kid before sewing the mom back up." He shuddered, and I think if he'd been out of my line of sight might have made that 'sign against evil'.

"You did that with a living woman?" I nodded.

"And she lives still?"

"Yeah, I'm sure I'm not the first one to do that." He shook his head.

"You may well not be, but it's not something I would recommend or even want to risk unless there is some pressing reason. This Bonnie...?"

"Yeah, she wasn't dilated like, at all." He nodded, letting out the breath he'd been holding.

"Yes, that would be a reason. As I implied, another would be if the mother passes before the child is free of the womb. I've heard it done when the child is not aligned properly as well, but..." I sighed.

"None of that applies here."

"It does not." I shook my head.

"Do Dan moms normally take this long?" He shrugged.

"This has taken longer than most, but I've heard of longer." I sighed.

"Just tell me they're both going to be okay?" He turned to me, and I realized right then why folks might choose to follow this otherwise unassuming old dude.

"I tell you now, Tabitha Diaz, I will spend myself recklessly to see that they are." Fuck. I gotta get this dude in my Pantheon, if only just for that.