Chương 1081: Day One Thousand And Seventy-Nine

Dear Diary, If it's not one thing, it's another. Okay, look, I get that my life here and now is vastly different to the life I led back in the day. In almost every way it's superior, and the ways I count as 'not superior' are, frankly, things I don't really miss all that much. Okay, yeah, I kinda miss having the sum of human knowledge at my fingertips, but by the time I got to it, enshittification had begun, and it only got worse the longer I was alive.

I'm not sure how bad it is now, but not long before I got shot I wound up seeing shit that even I'd lived through, remembered, that 'official' people were saying didn't happen. Might be Mandela effect, might be some kinda coverup shit, but either way, it was not fun seeing people claiming shit I remembered wasn't real. Gaslighting on a societal level. Fuck, I guess I'd started to grow up and say old head things even back in the day.

So I guess that isn't something demonstrably worse about here and now; I was starting to fully age out of childhood even back then. Here and now, though, it seems like I spout some new old head saying every fuckin' day. Worse, I know what they mean, how they feel, and can't just put my fingers in my ears and shout 'no, no, no' and pretend like I don't. I'm not saying it out of some weird edgelord thing to sound like an old head, I'm saying them 'cause I vibe with the words, and that makes me feel even older.

But still, if it's not one thing, it's another. So after last night's bonfire leap with my ladies, a few of us took turns leaping over the bonfire in pairs. Marie and Saffron both leapt over with each of Siobhan and Tallulah. I jumped over with each of them, one at a time. Okay, Saffron and I didn't jump, because by now it's an almost expected thing for us to dance over the fire. Which we did. Saffron. Always Saffron.

Tallulah and Siobhan didn't make that leap together, which almost made me feel some kinda way until I remembered reading this old asf essay about 'geek social fallacies', where it talked about expecting all of your friends to be each other's friends. That's nice and all, and I think Tallulah and Siobhan do care for one another, but it's, I dunno, more sisterly than soul mates. At least they're more compadres than cow orkers.

That one always amused me when the old heads said it, and it took me seeing it written down to get it, because I could not figure out how the fuck somebody could ork a cow. At any rate, the minor inhabitants, and here I'm talking about anybody below the age of 'Young Adult', of the Homestead descended upon the trestle tables of food like locusts, and by around midnight everybody was both tired and full. Y'know, that's one thing that's definitely weird here. Midnight.

I don't know if I've ever mentioned it, but when I say 'midnight', I'm talking about the middle of the night. Halfway between dusk and dawn. Something about an intimate connection to the Sun and it's position in the sky, something else about a lack of clocks. That's definitely something that could have gone horribly wrong, but seems to have worked out for me. Without a set schedule and half a dozen alarms from my phone, I never got shit done back in the day.

Here and now, I do things as they come to mind, and I work on them until they're done or all my go is spent, and I still get shit done. I mean, it might take me all day, but then nobody's looking at me going 'we need to get this done by two P. M. at the latest' or anything of the sort. At any rate, everybody slept late. Even in my dreams, the ladies snoozed on floaty chairs.

Okay, technically a few of us didn't sleep late, because at some point after the sun crested the hills to our East, right around when my office started getting sun, Marie nudged the Mom Collective awake and, along with Penthesilea, we snuck out onto the East House roof with some blankets and lay down to catch some rays.

Saffron put a UV filter on the light coming down so none of us pasty folks burned, and Siobhan put another one around herself and little Aoibh, because both of them are even paler than Saffron and I. That's one of those things I mentioned yesterday that I enjoy. Every Season there are days when nobody's really expected to do fuck all. I'm not sure if Drivers' is open those days, but if they aren't, I don't think anybody's gonna say jack shit about it. Knowing Mrs.

Driver, though, they probably put on some kind of big spread. Just the kind of thing I see her doing. Of course, from what Saffron tells me, things might get even more lewd over Drivers' way after dark, but everybody there is an adult, and I can't see either of the Drivers coercing somebody, and I think anybody who tried to coerce either of them would wind up in a meat locker. This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.

Speaking of, I hadn't noticed her doing it, but Marie apparently filled ours with roasted meat. Which meant that the only real prep for dinner today was baking some bread, slicing both the bread and meat up, and using the leftover vegetables from the prior night's feast as garnish. I think it's cute the way the kids enjoy 'make your own food' nights more than any other. Once everybody was fed and clean, we put the kids to bed.

All of them still sleep with us, as do the three new Maenads, so we wind up a little packed in, especially nights Mom and Dad decide to bundle in with us. Of course, tonight was not one of those nights. They chose a guess room and christened the bed there. Okay, I dunno if it had been used before; I think that's the room that Adrienne and Jack stayed in. They didn't use the Bedroom, because it was occupied. All five of us felt the need to do some jumping, and while it was fiery hot, no actual fires were involved.

Way too wet for anything to burn, anyhow. Penthesilea once again tagged along. I think she's one of those people who needs to be part of a group. Probably not uncommon for Maenads, but right at the moment Iphigenia is too wrapped up being big sister to the kids, Arachne is too paranoid, and Sarah is dealing with an increasingly large and rambunctious D. Speaking of Adrienne and Jack, they showed up not long after breakfast this morning, at which point Jack asked if our cistern was enclosed.

Apparently he wanted to go swimming in water that wasn't blood warm. Yeah, Saffron looked at him and said, "we do not swim in our drinking water, Jack." My chick bad enough to Mom an elemental force of nature like Nimble Jack and make it stick. So adorable. At the same time, that put the idea in the kid's heads, so by an hour after breakfast we were all trooping out to Lindsey's campsite, where Jack and Adrienne and the kids splashed around in the water.

I'm not sure it was deep enough for any of them to really need to swim, but that's not a bad thing. I spent about half the day laying in the water, the other half laying out under the sun drying off and catching more rays. About midway through the day, Karen and Madeline showed up, Karen in uniform, Madeline in her Holy Garb.

"Hey, Mads! Hey Karen! Wanna join us for dinner tonight?" Both of them smiled at me, but Karen shook her head.

"Perhaps, but we need to speak with the Imperator." Saffron, who'd been laying on her belly with her hair pulled around to expose her back, groaned the tiniest bit, then rolled over. Without opening her eyes, she waved my two Priestesses over, then Shaped some kind of Ward.

"We are as secure as we can be out here. Does your news require more than that?" The two of them looked at one another. Karen shrugged, at which point Madeline said, "I don't think so?"

"Well then. Who has risked my ire by interrupting this lovely holiday?" Madeline snorted.

"Oh, any ire would be missing a target." When Saffron opened one eye, Madeline explained.

"I've been Co-Locating to the Sneaking Tentacle while she makes her journey back from the Med."

"As I asked you to do. Forgive me for not realizing it would take this long for her to return." Mads just shook her head.

"Don't worry yourself on that. The captain thought it might be interesting to test out some of the enhancements to the Sneaking on the return voyage. Specifically sailing back at a latitude where she's going almost into the teeth of the prevailing winds, while also altering her profile." Saffron frowned, then shook her head and sighed.

"I really would have preferred to keep those as secret as possible, but I'm assuming you used them on your mission?" Madeline nodded.

"Well then, I suppose it's also wise for the crew to train with them. So... Did something go wrong? Either with the sails, the rudder, or the Enchantments?" Mads grinned, an almost feral thing.

"No. In fact, i can report that they've now been tested in and performed admirably under combat conditions." Saffron's other eye slid open.

"Explain?"

"Pirates, English ones by the few screams we heard and the design of their ship. They saw a fat merchantman trying to sail against the wind and thought she would make an easy prize." Saffron's grin matched Madeline's.

"Well then. I take it the Sneaking's secrets remain secret?" Madeline shrugged.

"We've a few prisoners who survived their ship going under when the Sneaking's enhanced heavy crossbow bolts holed her below the waterline, but other than that..." Saffron sighed.

"I suppose it would be rather cruel to leave them to die of thirst on the ocean." Madeline chuckled.

"Probably wouldn't have." When Saffron's head tilted, Madeline continued.

"A shoal of..." She looked at me.

"Hunters? I think that's what you called them?" I nodded, wincing a little.

"They came through not long after the battle ended."

"Well. I suppose this is mixed news, but I'm not sure why you felt I needed to be apprised before Thorsday?" Madeline lost a little of her previously cocky attitude, but what replaced it was pure professionalism.

"Because, Ma'am, the encounter happened not a day's sail East of the Atlantis coastline." Yeah, that summoned Tallulah like we'd laid down a circle with crackers, pate, and I really need to learn more about what the woman enjoys.

"WHAT?" Yeah, like I said, if it's not one thing, it's another.