Chương 99: No medals for Chewie

"Old man, I am certain I didn't order you to dig out this demon gate." I said with faint humor, watching the Gu Ancestor use blood palm spells as excavators. The old man turned slowly, as if he just realized at this moment, that he fucked up.

"... Master!"

"What did I say last time? I'm getting so old I start to forget. Something about bones and eyes, right?" I wondered like a forgetful immoral cultivator. Without hesitation the Gu Ancestor gouged out his remaining eye, and floated it in front of me. Oh well, Yuna will be happy to get a Dao Vision pill made from her Ancestor's eye. Curious about my current strength, I made a blade with two fingers and sliced down. It took three hits with my Sword intent for his left arm to fall off.

If I trained with a sword for a month, I could do it with one strike. Damn you, Tian! See what you make me do? Now I have to train... damn it! Oh well, I did have to go on a trip, to find Master Wushang. Might as well hunt spirit beasts, now that I had storage room in my ring. Three more Sword intent hits, and the Gu Ancestor's head fell off too. I stored the body for more medical experiments, then completed the dug out using my Sword intent.

Then I dragged the metal gate out and flew off, returning to the burned-out ruins where I first met Quinhue. Using the third jade plate I found in the Zahn raid, it worked like a charm, and opened a secret door under the sacred pool. I walked into the tunnel behind it, until I reached the demonic altar which cousin Sing, the Shadow Master had to be visiting in secret. Hundreds of human skulls were nailed to the walls, likely in an attempt to summon a demon from their demonic plane.

I kinda doubted interdimensional transport was so easy and cheap, but a Foundation cultivator wouldn't know the magnitude of his attempt. On the other hand, there was a pentagram star on the floor, lined with runic letters for a ritual. No, Pef... they don't deliver pizza like this. Stupid mortals and their superstitions! I began craving up the walls, lacking whatever bloodline was needed to open the walls, until a passage got revealed. Skipping happily inside, I located another treasury, but an ancient one.

The herbs and pills here were all dried up in their crates or bottles, the books and scrolls disintegrated at the slightest touch... making reading them a chore for my soul sense. One book described an ancient cataclysm that broke the world, forming the new continents and the 19 colored seas, going from white to black. Yes, Pef... people do like naming seas after colors, on every world.

Of course, this world's seas were so wide that a Nascent Soul flying at top speed would die of old age before crossing to another continent. And that's only if a bored sea beast won't eat them as a snack, long before that. Tian had fought even Saint Realm beasts in the sea, for training and sport. Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.

On the other hand, a world-breaking cataclysm explained why there was a network of teleport formations all over this world, even on distant continents that nobody cared about. I already knew the location of the crossing Tian used to reach the Central Continent last time. I still lacked some funds to power up the massive formation, but I could sell some pills or rob another slave clan. Money wasn't that hard anymore. I placed the big metal plate here, face down.

Then I collected everything in the treasury, then collapsed the walls and ceiling while walking back. With some luck, there won't be more visitors inside this place, while the collection of rare weapons and armor, jewelry and gems, plus gold bars and silver coins... I could give them away to some pretty girls. Maybe buy more lingerie? Extra barrels of wine too. The ancient sect had thousands of good, bad or stupid techniques in this archive, which I could copy on fresh paper to sell or give away.

It was mostly trash for Tian, but Pef wanted a selective differential analysis for everything, comparing old methods with new ones, or ancient recipes and Formations, plus obscure talismans that nobody used anymore. What use would a Grass Smell talisman be? Hide bad body odor? Become friendly to a herbivore beast? As a Sage once said: anything can be useful for at least three things, and one of them was keeping you warm in a snowstorm.

Burning talismans for warmth was cute, but people had burned plenty of valuable stuff like money, books and paintings, up to and including other people. Having done a good deed for today, I flew along the border to find another slave camp, to train my Sword intent on immoral slavers, liberate a thousand mortals and rescue two Yin Meridian women as my bed warmers. See, a woman can also keep me warm in a snowstorm, just like the Sage said. Two of them could keep me warm from both sides!

Another good deed, another legend spread by the freed slaves, more Dao recognition! And if a pair of young women wanted to show their gratitude... rubbing their soft boobs over my dick didn't make smoke and fire, but it did warm my heart.

"I am the best fairy doctor around, my ladies. If I tell you the lotus milk is good for meridians, I know what I talk about. Even high realm fairies pay 10 spirit stones for one dose. You get it for free this once, but after you join the Frozen Pavilion, you will need to pay as well. And the blue stockings are both a gift and a morale enhancer." I explained to the second woman while the first was already suckling my dick.

"... Are you sure you're not just a scumbag, immoral bastard? Abusing weak women for your pleasure?" the woman noticed with amazing intuition.

"Two things can be true at once. The Sun and Moon both light up the sky, or they can be my wives and moan in bed while sucking my dick. Reality is complex and confusing." I spoke like a true Daoist, then licked her pink nipples for fun and pleasure. My dick pulsed and served the first woman a warm dose of milk, warming her from the inside.

"Taste so good... when I get rich I'll buy a dozen doses of milk in the same day!" Vaizi Jing proclaimed after licking her lips. The second woman frowned, then grabbed my dick in her hand.

"Then I have to taste for myself as well. I do trust you Jing, but always verify..." Liao Fu declared a bit suspicious, then leaned down to start sucking my milk and verify the truth. I drew Vaizi closer and licked her boobs, just to make her gasp and moan and produce the musical score for this heroic movie. Where I was the hero being rewarded with medals at the end. Not for Chewie! You get no medals! Pef said so!