Chương 380: Chapter : 380

The afternoon sun shined brightly over the 13th Unit estate. The courtyard was completely filled with the loud sounds of intense combat training. Naomi spun her twin silver daggers. Laxmi threw massive roaring fireballs at the stone targets. Zinia smashed heavy boulders into dust. Ken Eliot sat on the edge of the stone fountain. He slouched his shoulders as far as they could possibly go. He wore his navy blue suit pants. His white dress shirt hung completely untucked over his belt. He did not wear a tie.

His black hair stuck up in wild, messy spikes. He shoved his left hand deep into his pocket. He held a large bag of sour cream and onion potato chips in his right hand. He watched the girls sweat. He let out a loud, dramatic sigh.

"This is incredibly exhausting to watch," Ken complained lazily to himself. He tossed a potato chip into the air. He caught it perfectly in his mouth. Crunch. Crunch.

"They are doing way too much cardio. My own legs feel tired just looking at them. I need a vacation. I need to find a place where nobody knows what a push-up is." He knew if he stayed on the fountain, Naomi would eventually force him to stretch. He absolutely hated stretching. It required moving his arms. Ken decided to take a very special, highly unauthorized break. He waited until Laxmi threw a particularly loud fireball. The bright orange explosion completely distracted the elite girls. Ken did not stand up.

He simply slouched backward until he fell off the edge of the fountain. Before his back hit the cobblestones, he snapped his fingers inside his pocket. Snap. The fabric of reality warped seamlessly around his body. The world shifted. He slipped through the invisible cracks between dimensions. He left the Belmontia Empire completely behind. He teleported into the vast, uncharted multiverse.

"I just want to find a quiet farm," Ken thought casually as he drifted through the colorful void between worlds.

"No magic swords. No corrupt politicians. Just some nice grass, maybe a few trees, and absolutely zero people yelling my name." His god-like senses scanned the infinite dimensions. He felt a very calm, incredibly peaceful energy signature. It felt like a quiet agricultural planet. Ken shifted his trajectory. He popped out of the dimensional void. He landed softly on his feet. He dragged his cheap shoes against the ground. Scuff. Scuff. Scuff. He looked around his new surroundings.

He stood in the middle of a massive, perfectly neat agricultural field. The grass was a vibrant, alien shade of blue. The sky above was a soft, relaxing purple. But the most interesting part was the crops. Perfectly even rows of large, round cabbages grew in the rich dirt. But these were not normal cabbages. The leafy green vegetables glowed with a faint, pulsing white aura. They radiated a very warm, tingly magical energy.

"Wow," Ken mumbled lazily. He popped another potato chip into his mouth.

"These are some highly radioactive vegetables. I wonder if they taste like sour apple. They look very crunchy." He slouched his shoulders. He walked over to a massive, shady tree at the edge of the field. The tree had bright pink leaves. The shade looked incredibly inviting. Ken dropped to the ground. He lay flat on his back in the soft blue grass. He rested his head against the thick tree trunk. He crossed his ankles. He let out a long, happy sigh of absolute comfort.

"This is the perfect nap spot," Ken announced to the empty field.

"The lighting is great. The temperature is flawless. I am going to sleep for at least six hours. Do not disturb me, universe." He closed his sleepy dark eyes. He prepared to drift off.

"What are you doing on my farm?" a deep, incredibly gruff voice demanded. Ken did not open his eyes. He let out a miserable groan.

"Are you kidding me?" Ken whined loudly. He threw his hands over his face.

"I literally just laid down. It has been exactly twelve seconds. Why does someone always interrupt my sleep schedule? This is a massive tragedy."

"Stand up and identify yourself," the gruff voice ordered. The voice carried a heavy, imposing pressure. Ken slowly opened one eye. He moved his hands away from his face. He looked up at the person standing over him. Standing beneath the pink tree was a very tall, incredibly muscular alien. The man had bright green skin. Two small, antenna-like appendages stuck out from his forehead. He had sharp, pointed ears. He wore a heavy, pure white turban on his head.

He wore a massive, flowing white cape with very large, pointy shoulder pads. Underneath the cape, he wore a dark purple martial arts uniform. The green man glared down at Ken. He kept his muscular arms crossed tightly over his chest. He did not look happy. Ken blinked his dark eyes. He chewed his potato chip. He processed the character design in a fraction of a millisecond.

"Okay, this is definitely a crossover episode," Ken analyzed lazily in his mind.

"He has green skin, antennas, and he wears weighted training clothes. This is the classic stoic mentor character from a legendary fighting anime. The guy who always meditates by waterfalls and acts really grumpy but secretly cares about his friends. His design is an absolute ten out of ten. But he looks very annoyed." Ken did not stand up. He just offered the green man a big, goofy smile.

"Hey there, big guy," Ken greeted casually. He held up his bag of chips.

"I am Ken. I am just a professional slacker on a temporary leave of absence. Are you the owner of these glowing cabbages? Because your landscaping is fantastic." The green man frowned deeply. He uncrossed his arms.

"My name is Piccolo. I am the King of this domain. Or, I used to be a King. Now, I just want peace and quiet. This is my private aura farm. These cabbages absorb ambient ki from the atmosphere. They are very delicate. How did you get past my planetary barriers?"

"I took a wrong turn at the fountain," Ken lied smoothly. He slouched deeper into the grass.

"I have a terrible sense of direction. It is a severe medical condition. I just needed a place to rest my spine. My spine is currently on strike. Can I just sleep here for a little bit? I promise I will not step on your magic lettuce." Piccolo stared at the messy boy. The Namekian warrior possessed incredible sensory abilities. He could sense the fighting power of any living creature from across the universe. He focused his mind. He tried to read Ken's power level. Piccolo blinked in surprise.

According to his senses, the boy sitting in the dirt possessed absolutely zero ki. He had no magical aura. He had no battle spirit. His power level was essentially a flat zero. He was completely, utterly harmless.

"You have no fighting power," Piccolo noted gruffly. He crossed his arms again. The harsh glare left his eyes. He realized the boy was not an assassin or an invading warlord. He was just an idiot in a wrinkled suit.

"I am completely useless," Ken agreed proudly. He popped his collar.

"I am the weakest person you will ever meet. Doing cardio makes me dizzy. Punching things hurts my knuckles. I am a total pacifist." Piccolo let out a low, rumbling scoff. He turned his head and looked out over his neat rows of glowing cabbages.

"You are pathetic," Piccolo stated bluntly.

"But you are also quiet. And you do not radiate any annoying, loud energy like the Saiyans I usually deal with. The Saiyans are always screaming and breaking my crops."

"Screaming is terrible for the throat," Ken mumbled. He ate another chip.

"I highly disapprove of loud people. Naomi yells at me sometimes. It gives me a massive headache." Piccolo looked back at Ken. The green warrior surprisingly related to that statement. He spent his entire life surrounded by loud, hyperactive fighters who always wanted to spar. He just wanted to meditate in silence and farm his crops.

"You may stay," Piccolo decided firmly. He walked a few feet away. He sat down on the blue grass in a perfect lotus position. He closed his eyes. He hovered exactly two inches off the ground.

"But if you make a mess, I will throw you into the sun."

"You have my absolute word," Ken smiled a goofy smile. He pulled his suit jacket over his face.

"I am officially going into sleep mode. Wake me up if you decide to make a salad out of those glowing cabbages." The alien farm was totally peaceful. The purple sky looked beautiful. Piccolo meditated silently in the air. Ken slept lazily under the pink tree. They were two totally different people from totally different universes. But they shared the exact same, deep desire to simply be left alone. It was a flawless afternoon. For exactly twenty minutes.

Suddenly, a loud, crashing sound echoed from the thick brush near the edge of the cabbage field. CRASH! SNAP! The tall bushes shook violently. Someone was aggressively hacking their way through the alien foliage. The sound of sharp metal cutting through wood filled the air. Piccolo opened his eyes. He stopped hovering. He dropped to the ground. His face twisted into a fierce, angry scowl.

"Who is destroying my perimeter fence?!" Ken groaned loudly from under his jacket. He pulled the fabric down just enough to peek out.

"Are you kidding me? We just established the perfect quiet zone. Why does the universe hate my naps so much? This is a massive conspiracy." The thick bushes parted. A new figure stepped out into the open field. It was a young man. He had short, bright green hair. He wore a dark green coat that hung open, revealing a scarred, muscular chest. He wore a thick green haramaki sash around his waist. Three long, deadly swords were strapped securely to his right hip. He wore heavy black boots. He looked incredibly tough.

He looked very dangerous. But he also looked completely, utterly confused. The swordsman held a small, crumpled piece of paper in his hand. He looked down at the paper. He looked up at the glowing cabbages. He scratched the back of his green head.

"This does not make any sense," the swordsman mumbled loudly. His voice was deep and gruff.

"The curly-brow cook told me the ship was parked near the docks. I walked straight. I definitely walked straight. Where is the ocean?" Ken Eliot stared at the new arrival. His sleepy dark eyes widened slightly. A massive, goofy grin spread across his face.

"Oh my goodness," Ken thought to himself casually.

"This is an absolute masterpiece. I know exactly who that is. It is the legendary lost swordsman. The guy who fights with three swords. His directional sense is so incredibly terrible that he literally walked out of a pirate anime, crossed the multiverse, and ended up on an alien cabbage farm. This is the greatest crossover event in history." Piccolo did not know about anime tropes. Piccolo just saw an armed intruder trampling near his precious crops. Piccolo marched forward. His white cape billowed behind him.

He glared fiercely at the green-haired swordsman.

"You!" Piccolo barked loudly. He pointed a massive green finger at the intruder.

"You are trespassing on my private property! State your business immediately, or I will blast you into orbit!" The swordsman looked up. He saw the towering, green-skinned alien with antennas. The swordsman did not look scared. He did not look intimidated. He just raised a single eyebrow. He rested his hand casually on the hilt of his white sword.

"Are you a fish-man?" the swordsman asked bluntly. He looked Piccolo up and down.

"You look really weird. You have very bad skin. Anyway, I am Roronoa Zoro. I am looking for my crew. Have you seen a guy with a straw hat running around here?" Piccolo's face turned a darker shade of green. A thick vein pulsed angrily on his forehead. Nobody insulted his Namekian heritage.

"I am not a fish-man!" Piccolo roared. He clenched his fists. White ki energy began to spark around his knuckles.

"I am a Namekian warrior! And I do not care about your stupid hat! You are ruining my aura cabbages! Get out of my field before I destroy you!" Zoro frowned deeply. He did not like being yelled at. His dark eyes turned incredibly sharp and competitive. He gripped the hilt of his sword tighter. He loved a good fight.

"You talk entirely too much for a giant vegetable," Zoro challenged fiercely. He pulled his sword exactly one inch out of its scabbard. The sharp metal clicked menacingly.

"If you want me to leave, you are going to have to make me. Let us see what you got, green guy." The tension in the cabbage field skyrocketed. The air felt incredibly heavy. A legendary, high-level anime battle was about to erupt right in the middle of the quiet farm. Ken Eliot slouched against the tree trunk. He shoved his hands deep into his pockets. He pulled out a strawberry candy. He unwrapped it slowly. He popped the candy into his mouth. He chewed it happily.

"This is fantastic," Ken mumbled lazily to himself. He crossed one foot over the other.

"We have the grumpy alien mentor fighting the lost pirate swordsman. The power scaling here makes absolutely no logical sense. But it is going to be incredibly visually entertaining. I just hope they do not step on my bag of chips." Ken leaned back. He was completely ready to watch the epic crossover brawl. He did not plan to intervene. He was officially on vacation.

"Hey, sword guy!" Ken called out lazily from the shade of the pink tree. He waved his hand. Zoro stopped glaring at Piccolo. He looked over at the messy boy sitting in the dirt. He saw the wrinkled navy blue suit. He saw the untucked white shirt.

"Who are you?" Zoro asked roughly. He narrowed his eyes.

"Are you a Marine? Did they send you to capture me? Because you look terrible in that uniform." Ken let out a loud, dramatic sigh. He slouched his shoulders even further.

"I am not a Marine," Ken complained casually.

"I am a professional slacker. And my suit is very nice. It is just a little dusty. I highly advise against fighting the giant green alien. He shoots lasers from his hands. Lasers are very bad for swords. They melt the metal." Zoro smirked a confident, arrogant smirk. He completely ignored the lazy warning.

"My swords do not melt," Zoro boasted proudly. He turned his attention back to Piccolo.

"I can cut through anything. Even lasers." Piccolo gritted his teeth. He completely lost his patience. The Namekian warrior hated arrogant trespassers. He ripped his heavy white turban off his head. He unclasped his massive white cape. He dropped the weighted clothing onto the blue grass. CRASH! The cape and turban hit the ground with an absolutely deafening sound. The sheer weight of the training clothes cracked the dirt. A small crater formed under the fabric. The ground shook violently.

Ken's eyes widened in pure delight.

"Yes!" Ken cheered quietly to himself. He pumped a small fist.

"The weighted clothing trope! He actually did it! That is classic! The animation budget just went up by ten million dollars! The fight is officially entering the serious phase!" Zoro looked at the crater. He did not look afraid. He looked incredibly excited. He grinned a wild, feral grin. Zoro reached to his hip. He drew his third sword. It had a white hilt. He placed the hilt securely between his teeth. He drew his other two swords. He held one in each hand. He crossed the blades in front of his chest.

His aura exploded with intense, ferocious swordsman spirit.

"Three Sword Style," Zoro announced through his teeth. His voice was muffled but incredibly intimidating. Piccolo dropped into a flawless martial arts stance. He raised his fists. A brilliant, blinding white ki aura erupted around his muscular body. The air pressure in the field multiplied immensely. The two legendary fighters prepared to clash. The quiet farm was about to become an absolute war zone. Suddenly, the purple sky above the field violently tore open.

A massive, jagged dimensional rift ripped through the clouds. It looked exactly like a shattered window in the sky. The sound of tearing reality echoed across the entire farm. Piccolo stopped his martial arts stance. Zoro lowered his swords slightly. They both looked up at the sky. Ken stopped chewing his candy. He let out a massive, highly dramatic groan. He threw his head back against the tree trunk.

"Are you kidding me?" Ken whined loudly.

"Another interruption? We were just getting to the good part! This pacing is terrible! The writers are ruining the duel!" A massive, ugly spaceship flew out of the dimensional rift. It was made of rusty black metal. Giant cannons lined the sides of the ship. The ship hovered directly over the glowing cabbage field. The bottom hatch of the spaceship blasted open. Dozens of figures dropped from the ship. They landed heavily on the blue grass. They were interdimensional bounty hunters.

They called themselves the Void Marauders. They looked like a terrible mixture of space pirates and cyborg monsters. Some had metal arms. Some had glowing red robotic eyes. They carried massive laser rifles and heavy plasma axes. They wore spiked leather armor. They looked incredibly noisy and totally obnoxious. The leader of the Marauders stepped forward. He was a giant, hulking cyborg. Half of his face was covered in a steel plate. He held a massive, glowing purple energy cannon.

He laughed a loud, grating, mechanical laugh.

"We finally found you, Roronoa Zoro!" the cyborg leader roared. His voice crackled through a broken speaker on his chest.

"Your bounty is massive across the multiverse! The Marines are paying top dollar for your head! We tracked your stupid, lost dimensional signature all the way to this pathetic vegetable patch!" The cyborg leader looked around the field. He saw the glowing aura cabbages. His robotic eye scanned the crops.

"And look at this!" the leader cheered greedily.

"Highly concentrated aura vegetables! These will sell for a fortune on the black market! Men! Capture the swordsman! Kill the green freak! And rip up every single cabbage in this dirt!" This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere. The Void Marauders raised their laser rifles. They aimed at Zoro and Piccolo. They cheered wildly. They prepared to destroy the entire farm. Zoro glared at the bounty hunters. He tightened his grip on his swords.

He felt completely annoyed. He just wanted a good duel. He did not want to fight a bunch of noisy cyborgs. Piccolo stood perfectly still. The Namekian warrior stared at the leader. He heard the order to destroy his crops. Piccolo's eyes turned absolutely, totally merciless.

"You want to destroy my cabbages?" Piccolo asked. His voice was incredibly quiet. It sounded like freezing ice. Ken Eliot watched the scene unfold. He reached into his pocket. He pulled out his bag of potato chips. He grabbed a handful.

"Oh, these bounty hunters made a massive mistake," Ken analyzed casually in his mind. He popped a chip into his mouth.

"You do not touch a man's farm. You never touch the cabbages. The green guy is about to completely lose his mind. This is going to be very violent."

"Kill them all!" the cyborg leader screamed. The Marauders charged forward. They fired dozens of bright red laser blasts. The lasers zipped across the field. They aimed for Zoro and Piccolo. Zoro moved first. He did not run away from the lasers. He dashed directly into the massive wave of gunfire.

"Three Sword Style: Oni Giri!" Zoro roared. He swung his three swords with blinding, terrifying speed. He did not just deflect the lasers. He completely sliced the energy beams in half. The lasers exploded harmlessly in the air. Zoro spun into the front line of the bounty hunters like a human tornado. His swords flashed. He sliced through the heavy plasma axes. He cut through the spiked leather armor. He moved with absolute, brutal ferocity.

He knocked five cyborgs into the air with a single, devastating upward slash.

"These guys are weak!" Zoro shouted through his sword. He kicked a falling cyborg away.

"Do not waste my time!" Piccolo did not use swords. He used pure, overwhelming explosive power. The Namekian warrior leaped high into the purple sky. He raised his hands above his head. He gathered a massive amount of bright yellow ki energy.

"Explosive Demon Wave!" Piccolo roared angrily. He threw his hands forward. A gigantic, roaring wave of destructive yellow energy blasted down from the sky. The energy wave hit the right flank of the Void Marauders. The explosion was spectacular. The ground shook violently. The bright light blinded the area. The blast completely vaporized twenty bounty hunters in a single second. It blew a massive crater into the dirt. But Piccolo aimed his attack flawlessly.

He did not singe a single leaf on his precious aura cabbages. His ki control was absolute perfection. Ken watched the slaughter from his spot under the pink tree. He slouched his shoulders. He chewed his potato chips.

"This is exactly like watching a high-level player carry a low-level dungeon," Ken mumbled lazily to himself.

"The area-of-effect damage is insane. The sword guy handles the close-quarters combat. The alien guy acts as the heavy artillery. The team synergy is actually fantastic. They do not even need my help." A group of five surviving bounty hunters realized they could not defeat the two monsters in the field. They panicked. They looked around for an easy target. They wanted to take a hostage. They saw Ken. They saw the messy boy sitting under the tree. They saw his untucked shirt. They saw he did not have a weapon.

They thought he was a helpless civilian.

"Grab the kid!" a cyborg pirate yelled. He pointed his laser rifle at Ken.

"We can use him as a shield! Get him!" The five bounty hunters charged straight toward the pink tree. They swung their metal arms. They aimed their rifles. Ken stopped chewing his chip. He let out a loud, dramatic sigh. He rolled his sleepy dark eyes.

"Why do they always target the guy eating snacks?" Ken complained lazily to the empty air.

"It is incredibly rude. I am clearly on my lunch break. I do not want to do any cardio today. My legs are officially retired." The first bounty hunter lunged forward. He swung a heavy plasma axe directly at Ken's head. He wanted to knock the boy out. Ken did not stand up. He did not drop his bag of chips. He simply leaned his head two inches to the left. The plasma axe swung wildly. It missed Ken's ear by a fraction of a millimeter.

The heavy momentum of the missed swing pulled the bounty hunter entirely off balance. Ken casually reached his hand out. He intentionally dropped a single, small potato chip directly onto the blue grass in front of the running pirate.

"Oops. I dropped a chip," Ken announced loudly in a goofy voice. He leaned forward to look at the fallen chip. The second bounty hunter tripped directly over Ken's extended foot. The pirate tumbled forward. He crashed violently into the first pirate. They both fell face-first into the dirt. Their laser rifles clattered on the ground. The third pirate aimed his gun. He pulled the trigger. A red laser shot toward Ken's chest. Ken let out a massive yawn. He stretched his arms high above his head.

He arched his back lazily. The red laser flew directly underneath his stretched arms. It passed right over his stomach. The laser completely missed Ken. It zoomed across the field. It hit the fourth pirate perfectly in the back. The fourth pirate shrieked and collapsed, totally paralyzed by his own friend's weapon.

"Hey, watch where you are shooting!" Ken scolded the third pirate playfully. He gave him a big, goofy smile.

"Friendly fire is turned on! You need to check your settings in the menu!" The third pirate stared at Ken in absolute horror. He could not believe the messy boy just dodged a laser by yawning. He thought it was physically impossible. He did not get a chance to shoot again. Zoro dashed across the grass. The swordsman appeared behind the third pirate in a flash of green. He swung the dull edge of his sword. He smacked the pirate hard on the back of the neck. The pirate fell unconscious instantly.

Zoro sheathed two of his swords. He looked down at Ken sitting on the grass. He raised his single eyebrow.

"You are incredibly lucky, kid," Zoro grunted roughly. He wiped a smudge of dirt off his face.

"You should probably hide somewhere else. Those lasers almost cooked your suit." Ken slouched his shoulders. He popped another chip into his mouth.

"I am a master of finding safe spots," Ken lied smoothly. He offered a lazy grin.

"My luck is my best weapon. I am basically a professional dodger. Thanks for the save, sword guy. Your spinning attacks are very cool. You look exactly like a green blender." Zoro frowned at the compliment.

"A blender? I am a master swordsman. Do not compare me to a kitchen appliance." Zoro turned around. He ran back into the center of the field to finish off the remaining bounty hunters. Ken watched him go. The lazy smile vanished for a fraction of a millisecond. His dark eyes turned incredibly sharp and cold. He saw the cyborg leader standing near the spaceship. The leader was furious. His entire crew was getting absolutely demolished. He realized he could not capture Zoro. He realized he could not beat Piccolo.

"If I cannot have the bounty, I will just destroy everything!" the cyborg leader roared wildly. His mechanical eye glowed bright red.

"I am going to vaporize this entire farm! Nobody gets out alive!" The leader lifted his massive, glowing purple energy cannon. He aimed it directly at the ground in the center of the aura cabbage field. The cannon started to hum loudly. A gigantic, unstable ball of dark purple plasma gathered at the barrel. It was a massive, apocalyptic weapon. If he fired it, the entire dimension would likely shatter. Piccolo landed on the grass. He saw the charging cannon. He gritted his teeth.

He brought two fingers to his forehead. He started gathering his ultimate ki energy.

"Special Beam Cannon!" Piccolo shouted. He charged his attack. But he needed time. The attack required a few seconds to reach maximum power. Zoro saw the cannon too. He crossed two swords over his shoulders. He flexed his massive muscles. He prepared his strongest ranged flying slash attack. He needed to build up his momentum.

"One Gorilla... Two Gorilla," Zoro chanted. He pushed his physical strength to the absolute limit. Ken sat under the pink tree. He looked at the cyborg leader. He looked at the giant purple cannon.

"The boss is charging his ultimate wipe mechanic," Ken analyzed calmly in his mind. He shoved his hand deep into his pocket.

"Piccolo and Zoro are charging their ultimate attacks. But their cast times are too slow. The cyborg is going to fire first. The explosion will ruin the cabbages. If the cabbages get ruined, the green guy will be very angry. I do not want to listen to an angry alien complain." Ken decided he needed to provide some highly subtle, completely invisible support. He needed to be the ultimate backline buffer. He needed to fix the timing issue without dropping his lazy cover story.

Ken slouched his shoulders as far as they could possibly go. He leaned his head against the tree trunk. He squinted his left eye. He stuck his tongue out of the corner of his mouth. He pointed his right index finger casually toward the cyborg leader. He tapped into his absolute, god-like reality-bending magic. He did not chant a spell. He did not create a flashy aura. He just altered the laws of physics entirely in secret.

"Pew," Ken whispered very softly. The word made absolutely zero sound. He fired a microscopic, invisible cyan mana bullet. The bullet zipped across the battlefield. It bypassed the chaotic fight. It hit the cyborg leader directly on the ankle. The magic activated instantly. It was the flawless Knockback ability. The cyborg leader did not explode. He did not take damage. His ankle was simply, violently shifted exactly two inches to the right. It was a tiny, microscopic shift.

But the cyborg was holding a massive, incredibly heavy plasma cannon. A two-inch shift in his footing completely ruined his center of gravity. The cyborg leader suddenly lost his balance. He stumbled awkwardly. His heavy boots slipped on the blue grass.

"Whoa!" the cyborg yelled in panic. He tilted backward. The heavy barrel of the plasma cannon pointed straight up into the air instead of aiming at the ground. His finger slipped on the trigger. The massive, apocalyptic ball of dark purple plasma fired. But because his aim was totally ruined, the blast shot straight up into the empty purple sky. The plasma exploded harmlessly in the high atmosphere. It looked like a giant, dark firework. It did not hit the farm. It did not hit the cabbages.

The ultimate wipe mechanic was completely wasted. The cyborg leader crashed onto his back. He dropped the heavy cannon. He looked up at the sky in pure, unfiltered confusion.

"My aim! How did I slip?!" He did not get a chance to stand back up. Ken's invisible stumble bought the exact amount of time his two heavy hitters needed.

"Take this!" Zoro roared ferociously. He swung his massive swords.

"Three Thousand Worlds!" A gigantic, crushing wave of flying sword pressure shot across the field. The invisible blades ripped the dirt apart.

"Special Beam Cannon!" Piccolo screamed at the top of his lungs. He thrust his two fingers forward. A blinding, drilling beam of pure yellow ki spiraled through the air. It moved with blistering speed. The flying sword slashes and the drilling ki beam hit the fallen cyborg leader at the exact same time. The combined impact was absolutely devastating. The explosion shattered the cyborg's armor instantly. The raw power vaporized his mechanical body entirely.

The blast carried his remains backward, smashing directly into his rusty spaceship. The spaceship exploded in a massive ball of fire and scrap metal. The leader was completely destroyed. The ship was totally ruined. The threat was entirely eliminated. The loud explosion faded away. The dust settled over the blue grass. The alien farm returned to a peaceful, quiet state. Piccolo lowered his hand. He breathed heavily. He looked at his neat rows of aura cabbages. The cabbages were completely untouched.

The magical vegetables still glowed with a soft, pulsing white light. Piccolo let out a long, quiet sigh of immense relief. His farm was safe. Zoro sheathed his swords one by one. Click. Click. Click. He stretched his neck. He looked at the burning wreckage of the spaceship. He smirked a tough, satisfied smirk.

"That was a decent warm-up," Zoro grunted. He turned around. He looked at Piccolo.

"Not bad, green guy. Your laser beam was pretty strong." Piccolo crossed his massive arms over his chest. He glared at Zoro.

"I told you, I am a Namekian. And do not come back here again. You bring way too much noise to my sanctuary." Ken Eliot sat under the pink tree. He let out a loud, dramatic yawn. He stood up slowly. He dusted the blue grass off his navy blue suit pants. He walked casually toward the two legendary fighters. He dragged his shoes on the dirt. Scuff. Scuff. Scuff.

"You guys did a fantastic job," Ken announced cheerfully. He shoved his hands deep into his pockets. He offered them a goofy, lazy smile.

"The area-of-effect damage was totally flawless. You protected the cabbages perfectly. I rate that boss fight a solid nine out of ten. I deducted one point because the explosions were entirely too loud. My ears are ringing." Zoro looked at the messy boy. He shook his head in amusement.

"You survived again, kid. Your luck is totally ridiculous."

"I am just very good at sitting down," Ken agreed proudly. Zoro turned around. He looked at the horizon. He completely ignored the path that led back to the dimensional rift. He pointed a firm finger toward a solid, unbroken mountain range in the far distance.

"Alright," Zoro declared confidently.

"The ship is parked near the docks. The docks are definitely over that mountain. I can smell the ocean. I am heading back to my crew." Ken stared at Zoro. He blinked his sleepy dark eyes. He looked at the mountain range. It was the exact opposite direction of the dimensional rift.

"He is doing it again," Ken analyzed lazily in his mind.

"He is literally walking in the completely wrong direction. He is going to get hopelessly lost in an alien mountain range. His internal GPS is totally broken." Ken opened his mouth. He thought about correcting the swordsman. He thought about pointing him toward the rift. But then, Ken slouched his shoulders. He let out a quiet sigh.

"Correcting him requires explaining dimensions," Ken reasoned silently.

"Explaining dimensions requires a lot of talking. Talking burns too many calories. He is a tough guy. He will figure it out eventually. Probably."

"Have a nice walk, sword guy," Ken smiled goofily. He waved his hand.

"Watch out for the bears on that mountain."

"I can slice a bear in half," Zoro boasted roughly. He marched away confidently. He walked straight toward the distant mountains. He quickly disappeared into the thick alien brush. The legendary lost swordsman continued his endless, confusing journey. Piccolo watched Zoro leave. He shook his head in total disgust.

"Idiots," Piccolo grumbled deeply. He turned to look at Ken.

"And what about you? Are you going to leave my farm now? Or are you going to sleep under that tree for the rest of eternity?" Ken looked at the pink tree. He looked at the soft blue grass. He let out a massive, highly exaggerated yawn.

"I was going to sleep," Ken complained lazily. He rubbed his tired eyes.

"But all those explosions completely ruined my sleepy mood. My adrenaline is slightly elevated. It is a massive tragedy. I think I will just head back to my own dimension. Naomi is probably making lunch right now. I do not want to miss her sandwiches." Piccolo grunted. He did not say goodbye. He walked over to his small crater. He picked up his heavy white turban and his massive cape. He put them back on. He floated two inches off the ground. He resumed his peaceful lotus meditation position. He closed his eyes.

Ken smiled a warm, genuine smile. He liked the grumpy alien. He liked people who appreciated the value of doing absolutely nothing.

"See you later, Piccolo," Ken said softly.

"Good luck with the cabbages." Ken shoved his hands back into his pockets. He slouched his shoulders. He did not look for a portal. He just closed his dark eyes. He tapped into his reality-bending magic. He snapped his fingers silently inside his pocket. The fabric of reality warped seamlessly around him. He slipped through the invisible cracks between universes. He left the quiet alien farm behind. He materialized perfectly back in the courtyard of the 13th Unit estate.

The bright sun shined down on the cobblestones. The air smelled like fresh bread coming from the kitchen. Ken opened his eyes. He looked at his familiar, messy home. He felt entirely safe. He walked into the living room. Naomi was standing near the sofa. She held a plate of freshly made turkey sandwiches. She smiled a very warm, happy smile when she saw him.

"There you are, Ken," Naomi teased gently. She placed the plate on the coffee table.

"Did you take a nice, long nap outside? You look very dusty."

"I had a very weird dream about green guys and laser beams," Ken mumbled lazily. He flopped onto the soft sofa cushions. He grabbed a sandwich. He took a massive bite. He chewed happily.

"But the nap was totally ruined. The dream was way too loud. I am exhausted." Naomi laughed a bright, musical laugh. She playfully ruffled his messy black hair.

"You are totally ridiculous, slacker. Eat your sandwich. Then you can go back to sleep on the couch."

"You are the best boss lady ever," Ken cheered with his mouth full. He leaned his head back against the cushions. He let out a long, satisfied sigh. The crazy multiverse crossover was officially over. The swordsman was lost. The alien was farming. And the lazy slacker was finally exactly where he wanted to be: eating a sandwich in peace, completely ready for his next uninterrupted nap.