Chương 354: Chapter : 354

"Statistically speaking," Ira stated in her robotic voice.

"Ken responds best to low-pressure environments. Fancy dinners cause him unnecessary stress. He prefers comfortable clothing and unlimited snacks. A formal date would be highly inefficient for his happiness." Naomi looked at Ira. She raised an eyebrow.

"Are you saying you know what he likes best, Ira?" Ira did not blink.

"I am stating documented facts. I observe his behavior daily. He requires a quiet, undemanding presence." Elma gasped softly. She pointed a manicured finger at the water mage.

"Are you throwing your name into the ring too, Ira?! I thought you hated socializing!"

"I dislike loud crowds," Ira corrected her blankly.

"Ken is not a loud crowd. He is an acceptable companion." Laxmi watched the three girls bicker. Her golden eyes danced with pure, unfiltered amusement. This was the greatest show she had ever seen. She loved watching her strict, focused teammates completely lose their minds over the laziest boy in the Empire. Laxmi placed her hands on her hips. She leaned forward. She prepared to throw a massive verbal match into the powder keg. She was ready to watch the entire courtyard explode.

Laxmi vaulted smoothly over the low stone wall of the courtyard. She landed perfectly on the grass. She walked right into the middle of the three girls. She wore a massive, mischievous grin on her face.

"You guys are completely hilarious," Laxmi announced loudly. She pointed her finger at Naomi, then at Elma, and then at Ira.

"You are all secretly wishing you could drag the goofy slacker home to meet your own families. You all want to validate your unspoken feelings. Do not even try to deny it. It is written all over your faces." Naomi's face turned bright pink. She quickly uncrossed her arms.

"I am not wishing for anything! I am just a vanguard leader looking out for her subordinate! We have a deep, life-saving camaraderie! That is all!" Elma gripped her bakery box tightly. Her blush reached a boiling point.

"I am absolutely not jealous! I just believe he needs proper guidance! He needs a knight in shining armor to elevate his terrible status!" Ira stood perfectly still. Her pale face did not change. But she did not deny Laxmi's accusation. She simply stared straight ahead. Laxmi burst out laughing. She clutched her stomach.

"You three are totally hopeless! But let me tell you a secret. Ken is simultaneously the luckiest and unluckiest guy in the entire Belmontia Empire right now." Naomi frowned. She tilted her head.

"What do you mean?" Laxmi grinned wildly. She spread her arms wide.

"He is lucky because three amazing, beautiful warriors are crushing on him. But he is incredibly unlucky because choosing between you guys is a guaranteed death sentence! If he picks one of you, the other two will absolutely destroy him! He is trapped in a highly volatile, lethal romantic minefield!" Support the creativity of authors by visiting Royal Road for this novel and more. The courtyard went completely silent for a second. Then, the chaotic, three-way verbal war officially exploded.

Elma stepped right up to the center of the group. She proudly puffed out her chest. She lifted her chin with aristocratic confidence. Her pristine white uniform sparkled in the sun.

"He would obviously choose me," Elma boasted proudly. Her voice was sharp and determined.

"I am the most logical choice. I represent the high-society world. I can provide him with wealth, spotless uniforms, and flawless protection. He needs a perfect, shining knight to elevate his status. I can refine his messy habits. I will teach him how to be a proper gentleman." Naomi fiercely countered. She slammed her fists firmly onto her hips. She stepped right up to Elma. Her green eyes blazed with intense, undeniable ownership.

"You are completely wrong, blonde lady!" Naomi shouted. She did not care about looking polite. She was fighting for her slacking friend.

"Ken does not want to be a proper gentleman! He hates wearing nice suits! He hates fancy parties! He needs someone who actually understands him!" Naomi poked her own chest proudly.

"We fight together on the frontlines! We have a deep, life-saving bond! He threw himself in front of a cursed spear for me! I watch his back, and he watches mine. We have a real connection built on trust and survival. I am the only one who can properly manage his lazy attitude!" Elma scoffed loudly.

"You just yell at him all day! You treat him like a chore! I brought him a premium chocolate cake!"

"A cake does not equal a battlefield bond!" Naomi yelled back.

"He likes my grilled cheese sandwiches just fine!" Before the argument could turn into a physical brawl, Ira stepped forward. The water mage walked directly between the two angry, blushing warriors. Her face remained a deadpan, emotionless stare. She did not raise her voice. She simply stated her case with absolute, robotic logic.

"Your arguments are fundamentally flawed," Ira stated calmly. Naomi and Elma stopped yelling. They both glared at the quiet girl.

"You are both incredibly loud," Ira explained flatly. She looked at Naomi.

"You shout at him continuously." She looked at Elma.

"You shriek when you are embarrassed. Ken fundamentally despises loud noises. He frequently complains about loud voices causing him headaches." Ira placed her pale hands neatly behind her back. She delivered her final, devastatingly logical point.

"Ken's ultimate goal is to retire to a quiet, peaceful potato farm," Ira stated.

"He requires a calm, undemanding partner. He needs someone who appreciates silence. I do not yell. I do not demand constant attention. Statistically speaking, I am the optimal match for his long-term life plans." Naomi and Elma stared at Ira in pure, unadulterated shock. The silent, emotionless girl had just delivered the most calculated, ruthless romantic argument they had ever heard.

"You... you cannot just use math to win a romance!" Elma shrieked. Her face burned a vibrant shade of crimson.

"Love is about passion and protection!"

"Love is about knowing his favorite snacks and keeping him safe!" Naomi argued fiercely. Her own face was completely red. She pointed a finger at Ira.

"He would be totally bored on a farm with a robot!"

"I am not a robot," Ira replied blankly.

"I am highly efficient." The three fierce warriors started yelling all at once. They bickered loudly. They debated his favorite foods. They argued over his messy clothes. They fiercely defended their own unique bonds with the clueless boy. They were totally flustered. Their faces were flushed. They completely lost their strict, elite composure. Laxmi watched the entire argument unfold. She could not contain her amusement any longer. Laxmi threw her head back. She cackled wildly.

The sound was full of pure, mischievous joy. She slapped her knee. She turned around and sprinted toward the estate doors.

"Good luck figuring this out, ladies!" Laxmi yelled over her shoulder as she ran away.

"I am going to go tell Princess Iris that a war just started in her front yard!" Laxmi disappeared into the house. Her loud laughter echoed down the hallway. Naomi, Elma, and Ira were left standing alone in the sunlit courtyard. They were blushing fiercely. They continued to argue endlessly. They refused to back down. They all secretly wished they had the courage to just walk inside and hold his hand.