Chương 871: Day Eight Hundred And Sixty-Nine

Dear Diary, Sometimes I really think none of the Deities here and now know how any of this shit works. I mean, I certainly don't, but I've got an excuse. I'm not some kind of millennia old Divine being, just a kid from the wrong side of the river. Tracks. Honestly, there were both tracks and a river surrounding my old Camden, so I guess I'm from the wrong side of both. At any rate, I've got an excuse. I guess some of the others have varying levels of excuse.

Like, I do not expect Dionysus to know jack diddly shit about anything but partying and booze. Yeah, he's the Heir to Olympus, but nepo babies aren't known for their amazing technical knowledge. Same goes for any of the ones who have specialized Domains that don't include 'knowledge'. Dad, not so much. Then again, while he's claimed to do Mortal magic as a hobby, he's not actually a Deity of knowledge. Trickery, yeah, but sometimes knowing shit makes it harder to trick somebody.

Seriously, if you don't know you're wrong, you might be right, and at that point it's just a question of confidence. On the other hand, if you know you're wrong, now you're lying, and that shit's so much harder than just slinging bullshit. Heh. Socrates is the ultimate bullshit artist, I guess.

'Knowing you know nothing' and all that good shit. Wait, did I just figure out how to lie? Like, if I don't know, and I just say something with confidence, it might be true or not, but... Nah, that wouldn't work. The moment I said it, I'd be trying to make it true. At any rate, there's just so much shit I've been told with absolute certainty by authority figures I trust that later turned out to be less than correct, that I'm really not sure how much weight to put on the remainder of what they've told me.

Like Dad thought I could be his High Priestess as a Demigoddess, because he was an Elder God, but I'm a Primordial, but still clearly his High Priestess. I did not lie. I was mistaken. Yeah, I know Dad. I still trust you. I thank you for that, although I no longer see why. Because you're the best. I know. So yeah, there's other stuff, like Franklin's Inspect, that at this point literally thousands of Heroes must have used and trusted, and it turns out it's just not all that.

Then there's all kinds of other little shit, stuff that bothered the fuck out of me when I saw it, but then I forgot about it, so by now the only details I remember are 'something wasn't quite right'. Shit, I've had a recent reminder that I am not the only person in the world with Blend. It's possible someone has fucked with my perceptions.

Even if I can work around Blend because I've got Blend, I know there are other ways to get around Blend, and that means there are probably other ways to fuck with perceptions other than Blend. Different Skills, maybe some Domains, Boons, or Shapes. I was not happy in the slightest when I dropped down to the Temple of Kings. That only got worse when I spotted the big figure lying in amongst the shattered pieces of stone. The big, bloody, misshapen figure.

"Oh, Shit." Mittens! She appeared a moment later, took one look, and let out an anguished yowl. Ladies, cover for us? Of course, love. I walked over to where she knelt with D's head in her lap. What was left of it, anyhow. He looked like he'd gotten in between the kaiju's foot and the wall of the Temple at least once. Half of his head was concave. The kaiju had smeared half of his chest away across part of the wall. I was about to say something when she tipped her head back and yowled.

Roared, really, the sound picked up and answered by half a dozen other roars, then dozens more in the distance. As I listened, they started Dopplering in.

"I can Revive him..." She shook her head.

"I can. But it's your call."

"Yes." She waited while those yowling roars got closer. Eventually she looked me right in the eye and said, "It Is." Maenads arrived. First half a dozen in quick succession, then a dozen more, then a score, Marie blinked in and out dropping them off. Eventually they all stood there, yowling in grief. I waited, ignoring how some of them gave me serious side eye. I'd just fucked up the thing that did this to their boss. If Marie wanted me to go, I'd go, otherwise I'd stay right here while she needed me.

Which made me remember she hadn't actually asked me to stay. Did you want me to...?

"Stay, Vlickies." So I stayed. The moment she spoke, the rest of them tensed up, looking at me. My traitorous memory chose that moment to remind me of how Maenads reproduced.

"Uh, is this my initiation into the Murderfuck Cult then?" Marie just snorted. The rest all looked away from me, like I didn't matter at that point. Then Marie stood, Dionysus' head still in her claws, one foot on his chest. She didn't so much rip his head off as stand and let the weight of his body tear itself away. She lifted that big, shattered mug and brought his lips to hers. Then she surprised the fuck out of me by handing it to me. Every Maenad in the crowd stared at me. Glared at me.

I think some of them started to move. Then those long dormant, oft ignored danger alarms went off. Marie straightened up, which was all the more impressive since she'd been wearing her Glowing Midnight aboard ship. A moment later a circle of her stood staring in from around the crowd. Not even glaring. But the stones themselves shivered. One by one her sisters dropped their gaze. All but two, who wore Lancaster House Maid uniforms.

Stheno, or maybe Euryale, took one oddly deferential step forward, nodding to me while her eyes stayed glued to the central Marie.

"Why?" Marie reached one bloody claw out and gently caressed my cheek.

"Champion's Wife." Then she made the same motion with Dionysus'.

"Our Family." The Gorgon Maenad nodded, her eyes dropping.

"Champion." Marie just shorted, a tigress chuff that conveyed, 'damn straight' without saying the words. Then she went about the process of literally rending D's corpse limb from limb. First his legs, which she handed to Euryale and Stheno. One arm she handed to one of the Academy Maids, another to a Maenad who still wore the simple wraps some of the Persians had come with. Finally, she reached down, took a firm grip, and ripped his junk off.

Got it all in one piece, as much as it had been left in one piece when the kaiju smooshed him. Standing there with D's package in hand, she scanned the crowd, spotted someone, and grinned.

"Sarah. Attend." The only Maenad there in a Phileo Hero's uniform leapt forward, landing with her hands outstretched to take possession of D's wedding tackle. At which point Marie flipped D's torso toward her with a foot. Sarah looked less than pleased by that, but nowhere near actually pissed off. Kind of like she'd been expecting to be a maid of honor, but wound up being the chaperone for the bachelorette party. Then Marie's grin melted to something a little less wicked.

She reached out, D's junk still in one claw, took Sarah's head in her hands, and kissed her once on each cheek.

"So Proud." That left Sarah both bloody as fuck and also kinda obviously gobsmacked. Marie took my hand, at which point Euryale, or maybe Stheno, said, "Lead?" Marie's grin got a little impish at that point, and she shook her head.

"Join Hands." The other Gorgon Maenad frowned.

"Irregular." Marie just shrugged.

"Needs Must." Both Gorgon Maenads looked less than happy at that.

"War Time." Sarah growled, although I don't think she meant to. Marie turned to face her, then back to the Gorgon Maenads. Enunciating carefully, slowly as if she wanted to be perfectly understood, she said, "Against Poseidon." With those magic words, the Gorgon Maenads, not to mention a few others, shouted, "Hands! Join! Hands!" over and over until the crowd had interwoven itself into one giant Maenad Macrame. At that point Marie looked at me and said, "Vlickies? Please?" Need to know where we're going, Mittens.

Hades. With that I nodded to her and, D's head in one hand, the other clutching at Marie's claw, stepped all of us to Hades. Specifically to his throne room. Which might have been a mistake, as apparently he'd been holding court. Credit to the Lord of the Underworld, he took All The Maenads descending on his throne room in stride, although after a moment his face fell, like he realized why we'd arrived. I mean, he couldn't very well miss me holding his nephew's shattered head in my hand.

He muttered something that sounded like a really angry, but exhausted, "brother," but Persephone was the one who surprised me. This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

"Shit." She stood, then strode quickly toward the residence. Before she left the room, she turned and said, "apologies, ladies. It's in the shed." The Maenads did not look happy about that. Before any of them could react, Hades stood and addressed the crowd that he'd been dealing with before we arrived.

"My subjects, I must see to my nephew's remains. Should you wish to stay for this ceremony, I will permit you to do so, but only if his family does not object." He stared at me the whole time he said that. I shrugged.

"I'm okay with it, but I'm only family by marriage." Marie tugged me closer.

"Love, Too." I smiled up at her, leaned into her and let her do the same.

"I love you too, you big fuzzy nerd." Hades seemed a little weirded by that, but nodded.

"Apologies, ladies. The Vessel was damaged," he paused, sighed and slumped as if he did not want to say what he had to say next, but couldn't lie to the Maenads.

"By my brother Poseidon." Yeah, I suddenly became very glad I hadn't gained the ability to piss, because the collective angry growl of All The Maenads was absolutely terrifying. I was not entirely happy about how anxious that made me feel, and yes I'm talking in the Beetlejuice way. Then again, this was D's service we were talking about, and again, All The Maenads. For all knew there was gonna be the Revel to end all Revels. Persephone returned, carrying a huge cauldron looking thing in both arms.

Like, big enough to work as a fancy two person hot tub kind of big. She set it in front of us, right between Marie and I and the thrones, at which point I got a better look at it. The thing looked vaguely like a huge wine goblet, the fancy kind with abstract scrollwork and bas relief carvings of vines, grapes, sheaves of wheat, and even honey combs all around the outside. Of course, shape wise it looked like a normal pewter goblet that somebody had smashed sideways against a table.

Well, okay, there was one dent that looked suspiciously head shaped. Persephone reached in and pulled a matching lid out from inside. It had little latches dangling that looked like they'd hook onto the lip running around the top of the goblet.

"I'm sorry. I put it in the shed when I found my husband unconscious, near death. I forgot I'd done so until you all arrived." Marie reached out, touching the dented side with a claw, then turned to me.

"Fix? Please?" I looked at her, then back at the goblet, then back at her.

"It's some kind of magic, isn't it?" She shrugged.

"Yeah, don't know if I'll fuck it up if I melt it down and recast it." At that point Hades murmured, "I'm not certain either, but very likely so." I sighed, shook my head, and paused, looking at Hades. Summoning up all my reserves of formality, I said, "by your leave?"

"Please." I nodded, then pulled three tentacles into the room. Big ones, reaching in through the doors, which I might have kinda sorta slammed open with them, making everyone jump. I picked the goblet up with one, wrapped another around it, then shoved the third into what should have been the bowl of the vessel. It did not want to un-dent. So I pushed. Hard. Harder than I'd pushed anything except maybe re-attaching North Atlantis' bulging package.

A terrible screeching of rent metal filled the room, followed by a kind of gong. I set the goblet, now back in basic goblet shape, down in front of the throne. Then set the lid atop it. It didn't quite fit until I bonked it with a tentacle. The vessel might have had some sucker shapes impressed on the bas relief, but it was a proper goblet once more.

"Will that do?" Marie snorted, then reached up to pull the lid off. Then glared ironically down at me. Two tentacle yanks later, it popped off and bounced around the room a little. Marie said, "Sarah?" Sarah stepped forward, kissed the middle of D's chest, then hefted his torso into the giant chalice.

'The Vessel', I guessed. She stepped back, and Marie said, "Stheno?" Stheno stepped forward, kissed D's thigh startlingly close to the bloody crotch, and dropped his leg in.

"Euryale?" One by one, kiss and drop, each bit of D went in the cup. Not that there were that many. I was too surprised by recognizing Helen's name to catch the other, Persian Maenad's name, and when she stepped back, Marie said, "Vlickies?" I didn't think. I stepped up, turned D's head to face me. Kissed him once, firmly, on the lips, trying to ignore the dried blood on them where his insides had become outsides from massive impact. Then realized that I had to reach up pretty far to get it into the cup.

Fuck it, I actually had to hop a little bit to make sure it went in. Then I stepped back, and Marie looked at me expectantly.

"Mittens?" I got the sense that the only reason I did not learn what Sparagmos felt like from a first person point of view was Marie laughing as she stepped up, kissed his manhood, with tongue, then with the extra height her boots gave her, set it gently atop the rest of him. Then she leaned in, driving her claw down through everything. She surprised the fuck out of me when she spat on the remains, then stepped away. Not, like, hawking a loogie or anything, just saliva, but still.

She looked to me, then back to the cup, and nodded. The collected Maenads got a good chuckle out of me having to pull myself up to spit into the cup. Then, one at a time, each of them came up and did the same, while I stood there holding Marie's hand. Finally, when Sarah, the last one, stepped up and spat, Marie got suddenly shorter. Feet bare, she leapt into the big goblet, which did not fill me with happy thoughts until she started driving her feet through the bloody mess.

Smells filled the throne room, but not the ones I'd been expecting. Blood, yeah, but surprisingly clean for all that. Something earthy and savory. The faintest whiff of high grade ganja. Malt. Grapes. Above and around all of it, the distinct smell of high proof booze. Eventually, she leapt out of the big mug. She landed next to a naked, lightly bloodied Maenad, who I recognized only after seeing her uniform neatly folded on the floor as Sarah. She looked at Marie and said, "Please?" Marie nodded.

Sarah leapt to balance on the rim of the Vessel. Marie leapt straight up, then lashed out with both claws, lightning quick. Three double strikes of her claws, and the pieces of Sarah dropped lifeless into the Vessel. Does one of you need to die to bring him back? No. I got the sense that she really didn't want to talk about that any more. So I just reached over, took her hand, and squeezed it. Then, at her nudge, I set the lid back on and tamped it shut.

Over the next hours the Vessel pinged, and rattled, and even shook a time or two. The lid wasn't exactly air tight any more, and the distinct smell of fermentation filled the throne room. The sun rose. Light flared from the imperfections in the lid, and the smell of booze became overwhelming. Bit of THC in there as well. Maybe something else as well. I realized right then that without thinking about it, Marie and I had gone way past handholding into mutual public lewdness.

I glanced at the royal couple, only to see them sharing a single throne and trying to look less than entirely 'caught in the act'. Not that anyone else in the throne room gave a shit; the previous petitioners had long since left. Then something bonged on the inside of the lid. Then again. Marie, panting just a little, mewled out, "Vlickies, Please." Clue supplied. I popped the lid, and a Maenad, presumably Sarah, leapt out holding a baby. A big fuckin' baby, mind you. Like, at least Isadora-at-birth sized.

He'd already latched on, and the Maenads gathered around, instincts switched in an instant from 'fuck' to 'nurture'. Okay, some of them seemed to be doing a little bit of surreptitious hanky panky while waiting their turn to touch the reborn D, but, I mean, Maenads in the presence of D himself. I don't think they're gonna do anything to a kid, but they're certainly gonna let off some steam nearby.

By the time each one had cycled past, stood near long enough to touch him, brush their face against him, maybe even sort of hold him, Sarah had shifted him to her other breast, and looked more than a little deflated. Marie stepped up and held out her hands. Sarah balked wordlessly. Marie said, "Homestead." Sarah shook her head.

"Academy." Even from behind I could tell Marie rolled her eyes. Amusing, given the typical 'sky daddy give me strength' meaning of that, given that the only directions she didn't have a Deity in were up and maybe down. She sighed, then said, "Further Inland." Sarah sagged, then slipped D's mouth off her nipple. He'd gone to sleep while nursing, and snored gently as Sarah held him out to Marie. Marie reached to take him, but paused and thought to me, Vlickies, a Boon? Anything for you, Mittens.

She just nodded to Sarah, and I smiled gently at my Maenad Wifey. You're my High Priestess, you big tiger wifey nerd. You don't need my permission. Before she could say or do anything else, I thought, you've got it though. Always, whenever you want it. Marie smiled at me, then wrapped her hands around Sarah's, holding them around D's absolute chonk baby form.

"Visit. Often." Sarah looked up at her.

"Really?" Marie shrugged.

"Move In?" Sarah's hands dropped away from D, and Marie pulled him to her still covered breasts. Reaching down to pick up her uniform without really looking or realizing what she was doing, she murmured, "Maybe." Marie turned to me and said, "Home, Please." I put my arm around her waist, looked around at the Maenads, and said, "you can all get home on your own okay?" At their collected mix of nods and 'duh' looks, I stepped us home, to the bedroom. I checked the sun. Late afternoon. I tagged Saffron.

Everything okay? Absolutely, love. No signs of new kaiju. Just to be sure, it's Monday? I caught the chuckle in her voice when she said, "it is." She peeked at the big bundle in Marie's arms, sighed, but smiled as she said, "another mouth to feed."

"You love it."

"I do. Are you ready to go back on station aboard the Worshipping, lovely Marie?" Marie looked at her, then at me, then back down at D before whispering, "sunset?" We both put our arms around her for a hug, and Saffron said, "of course, Marie. As long as you need, really; I know there are more kaiju on the way, but we do what we can for those who have fallen in our defense." I remembered, or really realized something just then.

"Oh, shit. Diana!" Saffron snorted.

"She's aboard the Worshipping right now. I actually pity the kaiju who comes into her sight." I let out a breath I'd been holding since I realized.

"Fuck. Good. I was worried she died."

"Oh, she did. Apparently she took her brother's death badly, and assaulted the Blended kaiju shortly before you arrived. Even more a mess than her brother. She's a precision fighter, and an archer. Not a brute like him." She shook her head again.

"She returned at moonrise. Defecated in the kaiju's mouth. As a house sized bear. Then after conferring briefly with me regarding where she'd be most likely to meet another kaiju, headed to the Worshipping." I sighed.

"Welp. Better that than staying dead, I guess." Saffron's smile reminded me of Menace when she said, "the Gods of Europa are learning that we here in Atlantis are not easy prey, do not remain dead for long, and killing us only makes us angry." I looked at D.

"I hope not. I don't need an angry baby." She snorted.

"Well then. Best you and Marie see that he's properly cared for before you're needed back on the front." With that she hopped up to give each of us a kiss, then leaned in to kiss D on the forehead, and disappeared. Marie banished our clothes and crawled into the bed to snuggle next to Hailee and Siobhan, who looked curious and a little awestruck respectively. Then she settled in to nurse the newest addition to our weird little family. I will not confirm nor deny whether she convinced me to take a turn.