Chương 836: Day Eight Hundred And Thirty-Four

Dear Diary, I worry, when I think about it, when something points it out to me, exactly how much Her Dark Fatassness has affected my thinking. How much she's twisted my impulses. I'd say 'affected' my impulses, but that's kinda not my real concern. Seriously, if some part of her has made me more maternal, more protective, more... Better, I guess, then I'm not really worried about it. I doubt there's any way I'm going to shake the changes that have happened to me, not without serious, deliberate action on my part.

But for changes that after I look at them are objectively negative somehow, I think I'd make that deliberate action. Like, when I really think about it, I got kinda all sorts of fucked up from a moral perspective during the Norfolk campaign. Seriously, I not only tortured a dude to death multiple times, I ordered Mother Night herself to kill a dude as painfully as she could, and my takeaway at the time was that it was kinda gross.

Not a horrific violation of a Human Adjacent person, even when she told me she'd removed his Mortality just to make his agony last longer. I got off on killing a dude in front of a full stadium audience. I did some seriously fucked up shit. Okay, the stadium didn't have a full audience, because I'd had some idea that throwing down with the five toughest motherfuckers Gregor could stack against me might get a little energetic, but there were still people watching. Shit, I think there were kids watching.

Which, if some kid ever snuck into a Revel at one of my Temples, I might be a little sheepish, but I wouldn't feel guilty.

'Mommy, what was the Goddess doing with you on the Altar' isn't all that much different from 'Daddy, why were you holding Mommy on the bed when she was telling God she was coming', after all. Embarrassing, but fuck it, it's a healthy adult activity. Telling a kid 'that's what adults do when they want to make each other feel good' is neither immoral nor incorrect. But 'the Goddess really enjoyed crushing his skull, because she's a freak and gets off on violence' is a bit of a harder sell.

Yeah, I kinda fuckin' do, but at least I presently engage in consensual violence rather than the shady shit I did back then. Mostly. Because I still taunted the Mother of Water Panthers. Yeah, that one's gonna linger, I think. It's what makes me really worried that the Mimic part of me has colored my thinking so much that there might not be any hope for me or for the future. That at some point I'm gonna snap and just start nomming motherfuckers like Dread Cthulhu and shit.

That my loved ones will die first not because I'm being merciful, but because they're nearby. On the other hand, Lemmy isn't digested or digesting as I speak. So maybe there's hope for me yet. Spent all day yesterday waiting for folks and doing the Marquis of Queensbury rules with Lemmy. By the end of the day, the only reason I had any real patience left was that outlet, and I kinda felt bad for him. Seriously, I think he might be quicker than me, but he's no Larry.

He can hit pretty hard, but apparently Elder Primordial Endurance can blunt a lot of what Demi-Deific Strength can dish out. Like, I felt that shit, and probably would have had some bruises if I couldn't Co-Locate and Heal myself, but I don't think he ever hit me hard enough to break anything. Okay, maybe a couple of the shots to my face would have broken my nose if they'd landed there, but instead I managed to duck, block, or take them on a cheek.

I probably would have fared a lot better if I could bring myself to punch him in the face, but he's so fuckin' pretty. Strong 'I would sooner destroy a stained glass window than an artist such as yourself' vibes there. Only his face was the stained glass window. As the sun set, I jumped back to put some space between us, shouting, "time out! Time for dinner!" He leapt after me, swinging as he did. I stepped away, and while he kept after me, Translocation gave me enough distance to snag him with a couple tentacles.

Gotta say, while he's not the kind of strong that could perform phalloplasty on North Atlantis, the man has some strength to go with his quickness. I also realized as he strained against my hold that brawling like we had been put some serious lead in his pencil. He screamed incoherently as he struggled, and I chuckled as I sashayed over to him.

"Hey, Lemmy, you still want that prize?"

"Let me loose and I'll take it from you!" I rolled my eyes. So pretty. Such a fuckin' waste of a face.

"Not gonna happen." I got an awful impulse, and slowly slid down into the undulating surface as I swayed toward him. While I did, I lowered him at the same rate.

"Now. Do you still want that kiss I promised you?"

"Like you'd grant me such liberties," he snarled, still struggling. I'd closed to where his panting breath washed over me. Vodka, pepper, maybe something earthy underneath that. Vaguely impressive that he still smelled of that after all day brawling. I leaned in, tentacles squeezing gently as I did.

"I didn't say anything about liberties. I said a single kiss, and I'd throw in dinner if you really wanted it and I thought you'd be marginally polite. What do you say, Lemmy? A third time I ask you, do you want the kiss I promised? Or should I just drop you back in Boltophsberg as you are?" He frowned.

"What of the other recompense you promised?" I thought just a second.

"The Healing?" He nodded.

"Yeah, you get that too. Not going back on my word, and this really was fun." I leaned in, holding his head still as he tried to lunge and bite at me.

"Did you have fun today, Lemmy? Don't you want to finish it off with all the rewards I'll give you? That you've earned?" He ground out, "yes." I think he meant to say something else. No clue, because he did not have the capacity for speech an instant later. He was disturbingly pretty, after all, and I am not immune to a pretty face. I kept my eyes open the whole time, because yeah, much like most people, his eyes were the prettiest part of his face.

I poured Mana down his throat not unlike I'd done in the past with my ladies, the funnest type of Stabilize I know. I'm not sure how much of his normal kissing technique used his hands or other body parts, but I wasn't about to let him have the use of any of that. I snugged tentacles tight around him as he struggled, slipping my hands behind his head as I taste tested his teeth, his tongue, his tonsils. Worst fuckin' part had to be how good the man tasted.

Not a common feature in dudes without a high fruit diet, and they taste different. I might have growled a little. My stomach may have rumbled. My tongue might have gotten a little more insistent. I definitely did not do anything other than hold him still while I kissed him; my hands didn't even go further south than his neck. He whimpered, and I realized that much like an octopus, I can taste with my tentacles. Lemmy really did have a high fruit diet despite the peppery taste on his tongue.

Without closing my eyes I pulled away, leaned my forehead against his, and smiled at him.

"So. Was that kiss satisfactory?" He whimpered something incomprehensible. I slipped my tentacles away as I put my arms around him in a platonic hug.

"Hey, Lemmy, it's okay. Happens to a lot of guys. Didn't think you'd, uh... Are you okay?"

"No one must know of this," he growled. If you encounter this tale on Amazon, note that it's taken without the author's consent. Report it. I pulled back far enough for him to see my face and shook my head.

"Oh, no. I'm gonna tell everybody how the great Lemonkyenin went toe to toe with Mimic herself from sunset to sunset, and remained standing and ready to satisfy her at the end." He frowned, but before he could argue, I scrunched up my nose in a grin and said, "oh, c'mon, Lemmy. Tell me you wouldn't have done me right then and there if I'd let you."

"I'm not afraid of you!" I snorted, held him still, and leaned in to put my mouth against his ear.

"Yes. You are. Because not even you're that stupid, Lemmy." I might have brushed his earlobe with my teeth. Just a little. But I smiled at him and booped his nose with a finger, then stood there waiting. Eventually he sighed and said, "dinner?" I laughed, put an arm around him, and stepped us to the dining room. Ladies? Co-Locate? When Saffron and Tallulah arrived, I remembered where the ladies had been all day and almost worried about dinner itself, until Marie stepped through the door carrying a big assed tray.

Paninis, salad, and a thick cheese soup in a bread bowl. Good, solid stuff. I pulled her in for a kiss after helping her lay stuff out.

"You, my magnificent Maenad Maid and wifiest of Wifes, are beautiful and capable beyond belief." Her nose wrinkled up as she smiled, then swept me into another kiss. When she finished, she licked at her lips and glanced over to where Lemmy was trying to figure out the whole 'bread bowl' thing. No idea how he had problems with it. Maybe he really was an idiot, and all the assholery was just compensation. No idea. Then she got an absolutely wicked look I'd seen on her face before.

"My Turn?" I snorted.

"Let the..." Then I thought better of it.

"Y'know what? If he's up for another however long after dinner, that's on him. Give him the standard half an hour to digest. No point in ruining things by making him puke, right?" She nodded.

"My Turn." He is really fuckin' pretty, and I'm pretty sure Marie's neurons activate even harder than mine from a good throwdown. When everybody started heading up to the Bath, he got a booger look, stood, and took a step toward the front door.

"Lemmy?" He froze.

"You wanna wash the sweat off?" He looked a little surprised.

"Just getting clean. No happy endings, no copping feels. Just a shower and a soak in the tub after."

"You'd have me avert my eyes?" I rolled mine.

"I've got daughters, Lemmy. You look that way, we might have words. Other than that, if you're capable of being slightly subtle, I can handle you taking a look at the goods. Just remember, bathing. Just bathing." He looked a little annoyed at being dictated to, but nodded. I waved a hand and led him forward. When we got to the locker room, he frowned and said, "I've nothing to change into afterward." I looked over at where Marie had kept pace with us.

"Can you fix his outfit up, Mittens?" She sniffed and gave us both a look.

"I'll handle getting it clean, but I still suck at sewing."

"Very True." I laughed that off, completely ignored how Lemmy low key gawped a little every time he looked at me from the neck down, and realized that while the man had maybe one scar for every ten of mine, that was still a shit ton of 'should have seen the other guy'. As both of us stood under the pounding water of neighboring showers, I asked, "do yours hurt too?" He frowned.

"Scars? Why would scars hurt?" I sighed and shrugged.

"Mine do. Wondered if that's why you walk around with a head of steam all the time. Never mind."

"Your scars pain you?" I nodded as I scrubbed. I'm not sure whether he'd ever seen a shower like this before or not, but he picked up on things pretty quickly. He also scrubbed just as thoroughly as I did.

"Have you spoken to the Baba about them?" I blinked.

"I honestly hadn't thought about it that much. I mean, I think I mentioned it, but... Yeah, I probably should, huh?" He laughed.

"So, not all-knowing then?" I laughed even harder.

"Oh, hell to the no. I'm the muscle." I nodded to where Saffron and Tallulah escorted Siobhan and Hailee to the Bath.

"They're the brains of this particular outfit." Funny, he almost kinda scampered from the shower to the Bath proper, and I half watched as Marie and Saffron both tracked his progress. Scars aside, the man was as pretty from the neck down as he was from the neck up. He jumped into the Bath as far as possible from anyone else, hiding himself under the water as soon as he could.

A few moments later, the heat of the water hit him, and he relaxed, his eyes going closed as the back of his head rested on the side of the Bath. I slipped into the Bath next to my ladies, Marie following me a moment later, her arms slipping around me.

"Gonna." she murmured into my ear.

"Aw, Mittens. You remembered the rules," Saffron whispered as Siobhan giggled.

"Yeah, just make sure he's okay with it all, okay?" I asked her. She snorted.

"Yeah, I know, difficulty level zero, but still. We don't need a diplomatic incident on top of kaiju invasions." I swear it took everything I had not to guffaw when she splayed one claw across her chest and said, "Who, Me?" Maybe an hour later, Saffron pulled us all together into a hug, then said, "let's get the children and Siobhan to bed, then we'll need to get back on watch, ladies." We all slipped out of the Bath to the sounds of masculine snores.

As I kissed my kids and ladies good night, I whispered to Marie, "give him ninety minutes from when he fell asleep?" She raised an eyebrow, "sleep cycles. Might not apply, but it seems polite."

"He's Not." she muttered. I rocked my head side to side, then equally quietly muttered, "he's not, but we are. Besides, don't tell me you don't want to house-train him." She shook her head, grinning.

"Really?" Mouth hanging open in a fanged grin she said, "Feral's Fun." before stepping away. I spent the night on the mast, then returned to Muscogee and Compton. Just after dawn in Compton, Spider arrived, his presence only betrayed by a single spiderweb glinting in the dawn light. I stepped to M-Space to find the place utterly swamped with a massive web.

"Hey, Spider!" If I hadn't been so used to Conrad, I might have jumped when his hands touched my shoulders.

"Black Swan." I snorted as I turned, arms open in an offered embrace.

"Yeah, wondered if one of you guys were gonna pick that up. Whassup?" He hugged me, the kind of thing where I very much suspected he enjoyed it a little more than he let on, but he didn't cop a feel or anything. Just a dude enjoying being hugged by a woman with a nice rack.

"That's what I ought to be asking you, is it not?" He poked one of my arms with a finger.

"Have you grown stronger?" I shrugged.

"Not sure. I haven't been working out on purpose or anything, but I've been trying to stay in shape. Keeping busy, fighting Titans, that kind of thing."

"The... What did I hear you call them? Kaiju?"

"You were listening to that?" He shrugged.

"For those who choose to listen, the words of a storyteller of your stature echo far."

"Huh. Good to know." His grin as I said that told me he absolutely had done so on purpose.

"Yeah, they're what I came to warn you guys about." He cocked an eyebrow, shifting to a hipshot stance as he did.

"Warn us, or ask our assistance?"

"I mean, I warned the Yakky, and wanted to warn the Mansa, but I kinda worried about them tryna take on a kaiju without any Divine support." He waved one hand. Weird, him having four and eight limbs at the same time. Not unlike the Baba doing her 'all grandmothers at once' thing. Like he was a funky looking dude and a bigger than human spider both at the same time.

"You flatter me."

"Do I though?" I paused a beat, then said, "no, seriously, dude. You're a storyteller, a trickster, and if there's one thing we do it's punch way the fuck out of our own weight class." He laughed.

"Like you'd know about that." I scratched my head a little.

"I've still got Domnu on a string." He shot me an impressed frown.

"Fair point."

"So, you can help Compton keep any kaiju who show under control?" His impressed frown melted into a more serious one.

"I will try, and I may be able to, but if I cannot?"

"Call me. Send a messenger, shout real loud, whatever you need to do. I don't know what help I'll be able to send, especially if these big dumb angry bastards get their timing sorted, but I'll do what I can." He nodded.

"I cannot ask you to do more than you can do." He waved to a simple steaming pot atop what looked almost like a rock with a flat top.

"Eat with me before you go."

"I'd love to." Guy's cooking wasn't half bad. Not a patch on Marie or Jack, but definitely worth taking seconds. Of course, I think part of why he wanted me there was to give him the blow-by-blow of Marie sparring with Lemmy across that undulating field of tentacles. I think he might be stronger than her, not sure. She's got reach and maybe speed. I kinda surprised myself by being able to judge their relative Skill level; nothing like numbers, but she definitely had an edge on him.

Dunno if she's older, or more talented, or just had more combat experience, but I gotta say, for being kind of an asshole about some things, Lemmy is a good sport about some mutual recreational shit wrecking. Especially what with him losing for the second time in two days. Don't care if Spider wanted it to keep going, the play by play ended shortly after lunch, when we'd emptied his pot.

He's a surprisingly nice guy, good conversationalist, but I did not yet feel comfortable telling him about my tigress wifey's exploits of an adult nature just yet.