Chương 852: Day Eight Hundred And Fifty

Dear Diary, Okay, the latest thing to bake my noodle is tryna figure out if I became a Goddess of Passion and Ecstasy because I found Saffron and Marie, and they made Passion and Ecstasy such a key facet of my life here and now, or I attracted them because Passion and Ecstasy are part of my essential nature. Seriously, I'd like to know, because while I was all about being a lewd little bitch back in the day, at least as much of that was me tryna be edgy and rebellious as it was actual enjoyment of sex.

I kinda still had some of that going on when I arrived here and now, which I think is part of why I teased Saffron so much. Teased her until she snapped and took me right there on the slab of concrete impersonating a bed in my Academy cell. I think just treating Marie like a person is what did it for her, and my self-destructive shit before my Court Martial flipped that flag to green. The rest is history. Sexy, sexy history.

So yeah, that kinda came together to have me genuinely pitying Ilmatar, and utterly forgetting that I'd originally come to Boltophsberg to maybe get some help finding Poseidon. Okay, not utterly. But for a bit, anyhow. When she saw Baba Yaga enjoying the brownies and hot chocolate, and me just no-selling her tantrum, Ilmatar decided to follow Baba's example and try the treats. I had to hide at least two of the brownies and pretend the thermos was empty.

"So, Illy. Do you mind if I call you Illy?" She frowned at me.

"That is excessively familiar." I grinned back at her.

"Yeah, well, you haven't said 'no' to joining me for a romp or two. We could get even more familiar if you want."

"I am faithful to my husband!" Yeah, Baba and I both stared at her for a while at that.

"And my paramour," she added in a half mumble. Baba and I looked at each other, then broke down laughing.

"Sorry, sorry, no offense intended. I'm not judging you for bedding Lemmy, either. He is very, very pretty. I'm not huge on 'faithful' in any kind of 'only one partner forever' sense. I am ride or die with my ladies, which is what I think of when I think 'faithful'. But you guys have your own thing going on, and so long as you're all happy with it, I'm here for it. I just..." I trailed off, because I realized what I'd been about to say could touch the whole thing off again.

"You just what?" I sighed. Fuck.

"I just worried that you're not. Happy. Any of you, really." She opened and closed her mouth half a dozen times before finally beetling her brows in confusion.

"Why do you care?" I shook my head, looking at the ceiling for inspiration on how to explain in a way she'd understand. Sadly, the whole 'enlightened self interest' popped up again. I'd like to think that I'm maybe beyond that, but for folks who'd been in lockdown for long enough, it made sense.

"Because the more people are genuinely happy, living joyous lives? Not only does that make the world generally a nicer place to live in, I personally get some trickle of Worship from the whole 'Passion and Ecstasy' thing." She shot me an arch look.

"So you'd have me... Us be Passionate and Ecstatic?" I shrugged.

"Joyful and doing things you like doesn't seem like a horrible thing to wish for people." Her sigh sounded like she wanted to keep arguing, but realized that neither the Tentacle Beast nor Oops All The Grannies were maybe the best people to provoke.

"I suppose not." She sipped at her cocoa, then got the brilliant idea of adding some of the tea from Baba Yaga's teapot to the cup. I'm not sure 'mocha tea' was a thing back in the day or not, but I sure as shit tried that the moment she set the teapot down. Before I got to taste, she smiled and set the cup down.

"I'm sure you didn't ask me here to hear me complain about your threats against Lemonkyenin." I nodded, took a sip, and realized that while the addition of sugar and chocolate to the tea improved it, the addition of hot water did not improve the cocoa. Made it a little more like the hot cocoa I remembered from back in the day, though.

"Yeah. Yeah, I had a favor to ask you. Both of you, and your sister, really."

"Oh?" Baba had faded into the background a bit, but now she perked up.

"Yeah. You guys heard about the kaiju, right?" Both of them nodded.

"Yeah, well. We've killed seven, but there are another twenty five on the way." After they got done spluttering while I took another sip of mid hot cocoa, I said, "thing is, I think I might be able to redirect them, or maybe do something other than just trying to kill them, but only once the fucker who sent them has been dealt with."

"Who sent them?" Ilmatar asked. Guess she wasn't exactly up on the details.

"Poseidon." Baba just nodded, but Illy looked a little sick.

"You okay?" She shook her head.

"He is... Powerful. And... Perverse."

"Yeah. Tell me about it." When she opened up her mouth, I held up a hand.

"Figure of speech. He did some seriously sick shit in Tartarus, which is how he created those kaiju. I've got a plan to stop him, but to do that, I need to find him." Ilmatar looked kind of relieved.

"I must admit, I thought perhaps you sought a Storm Goddess to stand against the Lord of the Seas."

"Could you?" She instinctively jerked her head, but before she could spew some bullshit, I cut her off.

"No, don't worry about it. I'm not gonna put anybody in his sights except me." My grim face twisted into a sardonic grin.

"Okay, maybe I might ask my new bro to keep an eye out for any of his lackies or shit, but I'm gonna keep Possy-boy's attention on me." Ilmatar deflated a little.

"Well then. Do you know where he is?" Find this and other great novels on the author's preferred platform. Support original creators! I shrugged.

"Somewhere in the ocean. Deep water. Someplace where the kind of plants that reach the bottom don't grow." I got a weird look from both of them at that point. I saw no reason to keep stupid secrets, so I explained.

"Poseidon beat the living shit out of Hades. Persephone got pissed and asked her mom for help finding the asshole." Illy was nodding, but Baba quietly asked, "Are you sure you can take him, lass?" I shrugged.

"I killed Apollo by accident. I killed Sengann and Balor on purpose. I killed the Mother of Water Panthers, and from what she said, she's eaten entire Pantheons. I killed Tartarus. If I can't beat him, who can?" Baba shrugged.

"Zeus?" I snorted.

"Yeah, okay, who other than me who is gonna hold Poseidon accountable for his actions can beat him?" She smiled, her teeth glinting steel gray.

"Consequences, then?" I nodded.

"I will see what can be done." She turned to Ilmatar.

"Speak with your husband, girl. He knows many things. He might know a way to find the Earthshaker, even in his places of power in the depths." Ilmatar nodded, apparently taking that as an immediate action item, because she stood up.

"I shall, Baba. Thank you for the tea."

"Come visit again, child." With that Ilmatar disappeared. I realized just then that the sun was about to set. Okay, that it was in the act of setting, as Pyevatar settled into the chair recently vacated by her sister. She looked pissed.

"Ah, shit. Not you, too. I swear, I had a good reason for threatening Lemmy. Just let me explain." Her eyes narrowed.

"You threatened my Lemonca... Lemonkyenin?" I ignored her slip as best I could.

"Uh, shit. Yeah, he was making eyes at my daughters. Who are only a few months old. Didn't hurt him, just laid down the ground rules on dating my daughters." She took a deep breath through her nose.

"I suppose that's fair. But you. You. You! What was that the other morning? Before you told me you'd not jostle me in my passage across the sky, and yet still you persist in doing so. The other morning was especially awful!" I looked at my feet, trying not to notice that Pye wore an outfit entirely inappropriate for the season. I guess working as the sun she didn't get cold.

Still, given the current state of her nips, not to mention some pebbling on her skin in the cool air, I figured my intended bribe was in order.

"I apologize for that one especially. I, uh, had a bit of a disagreement with my wife and concubine about something, and needed to remind them that suicide is not an acceptable method of curing minor illnesses." She just stared at me as I poured her a still steaming cup of hot chocolate, not to mention setting the last two brownies on her plate. Her lips pressed together, but at Baba's nod, she picked up one of the brownies and took a tentative nibble. Her eyes shot open as she got a taste.

"Oh, this is lovely!" Then she frowned at me again, remembering she was pissed at me. Of course, the moment she took a sip of her hot chocolate, she sorta melted again.

"Oh, my. Yes, what is this again?"

"Hot chocolate. I got the recipe from the Overlord of Rich Man's Port."

"Her Concubine," cackled Baba. Pyevatar rolled her eyes, kinda like you do when somebody drops a name then gets called on it.

"So you learned this from the Overlord's Concubine?" As Baba hid her cackles, turning them into a creepy background track somehow, I shook my head and my face heated.

"Yeah, uh, no. The Overlord is my Concubine. Well, mine and my wives'."

"Your wives. One of whom is a Demigoddess, the other of whom is the Imperator of the Alliance?" I nodded.

"Well. I suppose she does outrank the Overlord." I couldn't help it.

"That was your problem with the arrangement? Who outranks who?"

"Of course. It would be inappropriate for my sister and I to be married to Lemonkyenin and dallying with Vyenemoinen, after all."

"But not the other way round." She smiled, nodding.

"Exactly!" I just worked my mouth a bit before shaking my head and letting it go. Then I remembered and set the little tea sandwiches Marie and I made out on the table. I took one to try, just to make sure they hadn't gone stale, but the choice of pumpernickel bread had been a good idea. If they'd stiffened up the tiniest bit, it wasn't enough to really notice, given the thick, hearty nature of the bread itself. Baba took one as well, as did Pyevatar. Baba frowned a little, muttering, "savory. Stiff." I shrugged.

"Sorry if you don't like them. Most of the Academy bread is on the stiff side once it cools down." She sucked her teeth, took another bite, then after swallowing said, "didn't say they were bad. Just not the normal thing for tea sandwiches." Pye snorted.

"You say that like anything this one does is normal." I could take offense or laugh, and taking offense in this case would be multiple kinds of stupid. Also, I'm not all that full of myself, really. Too busy being full of my ladies, frankly.

"Yeah, guilty as charged." Pyevatar nodded.

"These are at least a welcome repast after a hard day's labor. I approve." I smiled at her.

"Thanks! Um... I had a favor to ask." Pyevatar rolled her eyes and looked at Baba. For her part, the old woman shrugged and nodded to me, as if to say she saw nothing wrong with the favor, but wouldn't force the issue either way.

"What favor?"

"You've heard about the kaiju?" She nodded.

"I saw you fighting one. Impressive."

"Yeah, well. We've stopped seven. Permanently, as far as I can tell. But Poseidon's got twenty five more headed our way." Pyevatar choked, coughed, and started wheezing. I slipped a surreptitious tiny tentacle down and slipped the bread out of her lungs, patting her gently on the back with a less hidden one as I did so.

"Did you say twenty-five?" I nodded.

"Twenty-five more?"

"Yep."

"Twenty-five more like that?" I rocked my head from side to side.

"The Imperator thinks the rest ought to be smaller, but they'll be coming in larger groups." I sighed.

"So we might not be able to stop them all before they hit land." She pulled herself back together, then got what I expect she thought was a serious look, but reminded me a little of the Menace when she decided to 'be serious'. So I guess it sorta was, maybe.

"I will speak with Lemonkyenin and my father both about this. Should they make landfall anywhere within our... Lands, we will see to them." I nodded.

"I get that. I... I would kinda like to stop them without hurting them," her mouth dropped open.

"I mean, not lethally. But we can't even try to do that until we get Poseidon out of the way."

"He's responsible for them then?"

"Yep." She slumped.

"So even after we kill them all, he will simply fall upon us." I shook my head.

"I'm gonna stop him, but I gotta find him first. That's where I'm hoping you'll help me." She stared at me for a bit before saying, "you're full of yourself, aren't you?" I thought about my earlier pondering, grinned, and said, "nah. If anything I'm full of my ladies. But I've killed Gods before. And big assed Primordial Dragons. Killed a Dire Bear the size of a small city once. I'll find a way to stop him. I just gotta find him." She took a deep breath, then nodded.

"I will help you find him, if I can."

"All I can ask of you. Thanks." We noshed on a few more sandwiches, then I forced my sheepishness to give over control of my mouth and said, "uh, about that apology for the other morning?"

"Yes?"

"You wanna swing past the Homestead and we'll all three apologize at once?" She paused for a moment, then asked, "Now?"

"No time like the present." She shook her head.

"I've had a long day, and I wish to visit Lemonkyenin before I rest."

"You could swing past tomorrow, if you want." I saw her wavering, so I sweetened the deal with, "bring Lemmy along. You guys can have dinner with us, maybe even try out the Bath." I could tell right there that word of our Bath and Marie's cooking had spread to Boltophsberg. She nodded and said, "I will see you on Thorsday then."