Chương 854: Day Eight Hundred And Fifty-Two

Dear Diary, Slow day today. To be clear, the past couple haven't exactly been action packed summer blockbusters, but at least I got to visit Baba. She's always a trip to interact with, even though I think she might be one of the few people here and now who could stick a whammy to me without bypassing my defenses or otherwise cheating.

I mean, yeah, she'd be cheating, but it would be more of a 'thought of some interesting way to sneak past them' than 'she's my Kitten and if Kitten wants to stick whammies on me, I trust they'll turn out fun'. That said, while she's always seemed to respect me, at least part of that might be me respecting her, not calling her a 'stupid old woman' or something similar. I will not comment on whether or not I have an ingrained fear of one of her chanclas hitting me upside the head.

Along with visiting Baba, last night's Adult Sex Education class with Professor Saffron Aetos-Diaz and Lab Assistant Marie Aetos-Diaz was both hot and hilarious. Watching Lemmy try out some of those techniques with Pye afterward was both gratifying and hilarious, because while he definitely paid attention and gave it his best shot, unlike Marie Pyevatar was not custom crafted to make Dionysus feel good about himself.

So one or two of those techniques require Kitten level Skills even to hit Marie's beginner level target. That's not to say Marie hasn't developed some gourmet appreciation for Skills over her lifetime, just that she was literally built to be a gourmand. Pyevatar left at sunrise, because duh of course she did. Her timing was exquisite, and I am especially proud of myself for not laughing when I stepped into the Bedroom and waited for poor Lemmy to stop twitching.

"You need a ride home?" When he caught his breath, without opening his eyes Lemmy said, "I'd hoped I could rest here a while?"

"Okay. How long do you want me to let you sleep?" I kind of hadn't put together that to adapt to his new reality as quick as he had, Lemmy couldn't actually be stupid.

"Are you telling me you weren't Scrying on this room last night?"

"Technically? No I was not." He opened his mouth, and I interrupted with, "but from a practical standpoint, I and any of my High Clergy can see this room while we're sleeping. Well, dreaming, technically." That got him to open his eyes and look at me.

"You sleep?" I shrugged.

"Yeah, don't you?" He shrugged.

"I am but a Demigod. Almost Mortal, when it comes down to it. You, on the other hand. You are a Primordial Goddess. I saw you manhandle Loviatar. She could have crushed me with hardly a thought." I leaned against the wall, reminiscing a little about how Marie and I had left the scratchy cracks in it.

"Y'know, I didn't think you'd be the sort to accept being anywhere but the top of the pecking order." He snorted and laid back down.

"Oh, please. You know I am but a paramour to the sisters, the wives of my Lord Vyenemoinen."

"Nah." He opened one eye to shoot me some side eye.

"You picked up on me showing in Boltophsberg each time I showed up on the docks recently."

"I spotted you coming in when you visited Baba as well."

"Why didn't you come see me then?" He snorted out a laugh.

"Come unbidden to the Hut of Baba Yaga? Do you think me mad? Oh, perhaps if I were on some great quest and in need of her wisdom or assistance."

"I dunno, she makes some mean pastries. Good tea, too, although tea isn't really my drink."

"What is?" Maybe inspired by the dent in the wall, I let my mind drift for a bit.

"Been thinking about getting into mead." He chuckled again.

"By your expression, I suspect you mean letting your mead maker get into you."

"Nah. She's a woman. Little bit like Danica. Y'know, full bodied, little naughty, prime of life kinda woman." He frowned.

"But how would you get into..." He trailed off as I lifted a finger. Then another. He looked a little green when I slipped a few tentacles into the room, and I think he might have swallowed some spit down the wrong hole when I went full boy-mode and said, "or I could just do this." While he spluttered, I pondered.

"Y'know what? I'm gonna get drunk off my ass on that mead and definitely rotate through all three." He closed his eyes.

"It unmans me to contemplate whether you mean all three methods or all three traditional means of entry." Yeah, weirdest thing. He looked even prettier as a guy.

"Yes. Absolutely yes." He jerked up and slid back as I realized I'd sort of climbed onto the bed, at least enough to be kneeling near one end.

"I... I am not... Forgive me, Goddess, I am not..." I looked down, then back up to his eyes. I slipped back to girl-mode and quietly said, "hey, hey, hey, I get it. My Darling doesn't like men either. Just like her, unless there's some pressing need, and I can't for the life of me think of one, I'm not gonna make you go through that. Consent is important, as are boundaries." He snorted.

"How can you say that after your threat to me?" I shrugged.

"So are consequences." That gave him some pause.

"Fair." I couldn't help giving him a sly smile and saying, "just so you know, though, if you ever want to try it? The whole Patroc, Gay, guy on guy thing? I would not take a lot of convincing." He perked up a little.

"So you would like to...?" I laughed, waving a hand.

"Oh, no. Thank you, but no. My hole filling needs are fully fulfilled at this time. But something about you just does it for me when I'm in boy-mode. So, y'know, thanks for the offer, but I'm afraid I'll decline at this time."

"Ah. Well. My sentiments exactly, I suppose."

"Want me to wake you for lunch?" He yawned, stretched, and asked, "would dinner be too much to ask?" I nodded.

"Dinner it is." I stepped away to find my ladies mostly out and about their days. I joined them, although one of me sat with one of Saffron on the bed watching as Siobhan slept and smiled, her arms around a napping Hailee. As we watched, she rolled over, snuggling Hailee all the while, and muttered, "so pretty." Brought home gumbo and cornbread, and wound up getting a bit of a surprise when the Homestead doors echoed right as I was getting ready to go wake Lemmy up.

I set the cauldron down on the table and left Marie to doling out portions, then stepped to the far side of the outer doors. Pye stood there, one hand raised.

"Can I help you?" I asked.

"What have you done with Lemonkyenin?" She didn't sound pissed, although she definitely sounded like pissed was an option. I shrugged.

"Nothing." Then I switched to boy-mode.

"Unfortunately. He is very, very pretty." She smiled.

"So very pretty. But he has not returned to Saint Boltophsberg?"

"Oh, yeah. He's sleeping it off in the Bedroom."

"Sleeping what off?" I chuckled.

"Don't tell me you forgot last night already?" Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings. Funny watching somebody with her coloration blush.

"I... Well... I'd..."

"Been looking for a repeat performance?" She nodded.

"Yeah, I'd say you could go wake him now, but he might want to get something to eat." She blushed even harder.

"Or, y'know, you could put something else entirely in his mouth. I'm sure he'd be down."

"I wouldn't want to harm him, even by neglect." I waved her over, and when she hesitated shifted back to girl-mode. When she reluctantly leaned in, I asked, "wanna know a secret?" She just made a 'give' gesture, so I grinned at her and said, "One Goddess to another, I have never had anything quite so energizing as Worship." She frowned.

"That would not be appropriate."

"The whole 'Goddess versus Demigod' thing?" She lifted one shoulder.

"Also that I am wife of Vyenemoinen and he is but my paramour." I rocked my head from side to side.

"Okay, yeah, but aren't you kinda doing this here at my place because you wanted to maybe do some not entirely appropriate things anyhow?" She looked simultaneously scandalized and thoughtful.

"Why not give it a shot, see how it goes? If it works, great. If not, Marie makes a mean breakfast, and what happens at the Homestead stays at the Homestead." She stood there, waffling.

"But... But I..."

"Go on. if anybody asks, you can tell them I tricked you." I swear I've never seen someone disappear into M-Space quite that fast before without Translocating. Before I went back in to join the fam for dinner I thought, Karen? Madeline? Yes, Goddess? So adorable the way they replied in unison. Okay, yeah, I needed some private time with somebody soon or I might Just Happen to someone inappropriately. Which reminded me I had a place to be tonight. But before that...

Could one of you clean up the Bedroom at dawn and gently evict Lemmy back to Boltophsberg? I'll take care of it, Goddess, thought Karen. With that dealt with, I hopped in to make sure everybody had dinner well underway, not to mention quietly letting my ladies know about the encore performance in the Bedroom. That done, I stepped down to my Altar in Calverton. Madeline stood there, and greeted me with a kiss. Little forward, but fuck it, I am never not down for a little display of affection with one of my ladies.

Some deeply buried part of me also wanted to make sure I didn't accidentally nudge her back into her thoughts of being 'undeserving' or some shit like that. When she stepped away, letting me settle back to the Altar, she announced, "our Goddess has arrived, let the Revel begin!" Mordecai came up first, and I saw what he wanted. I felt kinda guilty and inadequate, but I raised a bit of obfuscation around us with Blend and quietly said, "I can't do that, Mordecai."

"But..."

"I can do all kinds of things. I can let you feel all kinds of things. If you want to overpower me, that's fine. I'm down for a little bit of rough play now and then, and you bringing it here, to me, who can enjoy it as much as you enjoy doing it, is absolutely what I'd rather have you do than bullying some poor woman who isn't into it. I mean, if we can find you a partner who wants that for when I'm not around, that's fine too. Some women... Some people like that. Knowing their partner is physically powerful.

I think the Imperator likes that, even." That got him, his disappointment and confusion burst by surprise.

"But I'm not going to lie to everyone in the congregation for anyone. Some role playing is fine. You showing off is fine. But you 'proving' how strong you are by overpowering me?" He slumped again.

"I... I didn't want to deceive anyone. I thought... I thought I was strong." I pulled him to me, gently pulling his head against my breasts. No, it's not a universal panacea, but yes, it makes everything less bad for a surprising amount of the population. I think it's a combination of breastfeeding responses telling our hindbrain that mama has us combined with all the blood rushing from the frontal lobes to the sexy bits, but that's just me.

"You are strong, Mordecai. I'd put you at one of the top three," I remembered something just then.

"No, top two strongest people in the Temple, now that Orla has headed to Phileo to take the Trials. Given how much I saw Orla having everybody work out and shit here, that's not a small thing."

"But... I want... It's all I've got." I pulled him up to face me.

"No. No it's not. What do you do here?"

"I unload boxes when Archibald tells me to. I move stuff. I... I used to move stuff for Crystal, but she's gone now. I moved stuff when Orla asked me to, but she's gone now too. So I move stuff when Madeline asks me to." I had a thought right then.

"What did you do when the City was a wreck? After the Undead were gone?" He got that same gear grinding look I remembered from Carruthers, thinking about the foreign land known as 'the past'.

"I moved stuff."

"What kind of stuff?"

"Walls. Roofs. Big pieces of buildings that fell over."

"Why?" He shrugged.

"Sometimes they had stuff under them. Sometimes they had people under them. Once in a while even alive people. But mostly they were just in the way." I nodded, stroking his hair.

"And why did you do that?"

"Because it needed to be done?" I didn't need to ask, but he needed to hear himself answer. I'd been dropping the Blend bit by bit as well, and maybe hearing his own answers echoed back from the congregation might help.

"Were you getting paid to do that?"

"Huh? No? I mean, Lady Calvert made sure I got fed, but she did that for everybody." I nodded.

"So why not just fuck off and do something else though? Or just go fishing or something? Or head to a City that wasn't busted up?" Funny, listening to him talk to me like I was the slow one.

"'Cause people needed my help here." I pulled him into a hug.

"See that right there? Helping people because they need help? That's worth way more than your muscles."

"It is?" He looked the tiniest bit distraught, so I smiled at him and said, "oh, your Strength helps too. But without that good heart of yours, guiding you to help people with that Strength? You'd just be another bully. Instead, you're one of the best kinds of people I know. One of the helpers, the ones who help people without being forced, without being told to."

"But people do tell me what to do though." I laughed.

"Yeah, sometimes the Imperator tells me what to do too, because I can't figure out what to do on my own. But even if she didn't, I'd find a way to help." I booped his nose.

"Just like you." After the lights came on in his eyes, I said, "so, you still wanna show off how strong you are?" He nodded.

"Okay then. Got a good grip on me?" He nodded, and I grew. Some of it was Shapeshifting, some of it slowly Mimicking a surreptitious tentacle slid into the room, but I grew. I thanked my duBois honed balance and flexibility as he managed to hold me up as I got big enough that he needed to put his hands on my ass, and even more when I had to twist and shift until his hands barely covered the heel of one palm, with me balanced on top, brushing the ceiling.

Definitely thanked my duBois honed reflexes when his arms and legs gave out all at once and he collapsed. I caught myself with my fingertips tented around him, then shrank down to my normal size and flipped up to my feet. I reached down, but he just groaned, so I lifted him with my tentacles, pulling him back around as I slipped Healing into him.

"Give it up for Mordecai, everybody. Strongest guy here, amirite?" As they all applauded, even some of the ones who'd decided to take the advice of the Bloodhound Gang while watching the show, Madeline thought, I don't think I'm that strong, Goddess. You might surprise yourself. Being a High Priestess comes with benefits. Also, if you really need it, ask Karen about Strong Arm. Good Skill to have if you need some extra oomph. Yes, Goddess.

I kissed Mordecai while he smiled at the cheers, then gently laid him on the Altar as he slipped away into some much needed restful healing sleep. Kinda appreciated the simplicity of Lance just wanting to play hide the lance. Apparently he's in the unenviable position of being just a little too big for most women to comfortably accommodate and nice enough to want his partners to enjoy the experience. Shapeshifting and size shenanigans for the win again. Archibald just wanted a massage.

Okay, I don't think he thought of it as 'massage', more a 'rubdown', but I worked everything on him from crown to sole and back again. By the time I got back to his head he'd fallen asleep with a smile on his face. Funny, but after seeing that Willow wanted the same thing, only with some more 'fold, spindle, mutilate'. Okay, not so much on the mutilation, and I found it low key hilarious that she wanted the spindling because it let me hold her up by that and let her limbs all dangle almost bonelessly.

"You sure you're okay?" I whispered to her as she lolled there, utterly relaxed yet not falling asleep.

"Um... Little help?" I looked into that dark place in her head, and asked, "won't that make you tense up again?"

"Worth." I laughed, then ever so gently let Mana flow into her. Very specifically directed, and very deliberately merciless. Not that she asked for, wanted, or needed mercy. When she passed out with eyes open, I let her go still, and she flopped so gracelessly I might have done a quick Assess just to make sure I didn't need to Revive her. I sure as shit had gotten enough Worship to power it if I did, but there was no need. She'd just utterly, completely relaxed.

I handed her over to Madeline, who took her away, then returned.

"Anyone else?"

"Not today, Goddess." I held out my arms.

"Want to Revel 'til dawn then?" She hopped into my lap. We only had maybe a couple hours, and most of it was more cuddling and necking than anything else, but that's what she needed, that, and this sounded weird as fuck to me, but public intimacy to acknowledge and announce her worth to the entire congregation. Got home after her Holy Garb picked us up, finished us off, and cleaned us up. I scooped up my Kitten and asked, "do you have to go to work today?" She sighed.

"I'm afraid so, love."

"Co-Locate?" She raised an eyebrow.

"What nefariousness did you have in mind, Goof?"

"Kinda want something like what Marie got the other night." She tilted her head, looking away from me as she pondered. A few moments later I realized she was looking at me in one of the mirrors. Okay, maybe she'd parked her eyes, but she'd still parked them looking at me.

"Can you perform all of your normal duties while doing so?" I pursed my lips.

"I promise I will try really hard to do so. And clean up any messes I make if I mess up." She hummed a little, then asked, "like this," she Shapeshifted the smallest possible amount, "like this," then he stood there, and I might have been drooling a little.

"Or like this?"

"Yes, please."

"Glutton." He smiled as he said it, though.

"Yes, please." He laughed, pulled me up for a kiss, and when he let me go said, "I'll sleep well tonight, I suppose, if you intend for me to demonstrate all three variations on that theme?"

"Yes, please!" I was particularly proud of the fact that not once did I discorporate or make any inappropriate noises while teaching my Math class. Had to clean up some spilled food and laundry at the Academy, and lost my place while Translocating around the ocean scouting more times than I could count or will admit to. Did not give a shit about what the Overlord's Court or the Grand Council thought, either. But both of those rooms have really good acoustics.