Chương 34: Sane Insanity

In the bedroom, Rowan paced back and forth, his mind racing with disbelief and confusion. The voice in his head had been real. As real as anything he'd ever known. Yet accepting it meant opening a door to a world he had long dismissed as fantasy. He stopped by the window, gazing at the setting sun, its golden rays painting the sky in hues of pink and orange. It was a beautiful world, even if it was one that no longer made sense. How could he have heard her in his head?

It defied all logic, but deep down, he knew it was undeniable. The connection he felt to that little girl was unmistakable. His heart screamed to protect her no matter what, while his mind screamed... Run! Rowan put his head in his hands, torn between doing what his heart felt was right and the warning signs flashing that it was wrong. So wrong. If this truly was the child of the prophecy, destined to do great things, then if word got out about who and what she was, they would all be in danger.

This child would be hunted, subjected to unthinkable things in the name of science. A soft knock at the door startled him.

"Rowan?" Sheera's voice was gentle, coaxing. He hesitated, then turned the knob. She entered, little Thai cradled in her arms. Her eyes met his, searching for understanding.

"I know this is overwhelming," she began, "but we have to believe in something greater than ourselves. It's what our little girl would have wanted."

"Don't do that, Sheera," Rowan snapped.

"Our daughter, our biological daughter, is dead. Please don't use her as a pawn to get what you want. It's not fair."

"You're right," Sheera admitted.

"That was cruel of me." She looked at him apologetically. Rowan's gaze dropped to the floor.

"I don't know if I can do this, Sheera. It's too much." He sighed, "How can I look at her and not think of our daughter?" He gestured from Thai to the baby in the cradle.

"How can I not resent her very existence? You should be holding our child, not…" He broke off, catching himself before he went too far.

"Not what, Rowan?" she asked, unable to mask her outrage.

"Choose your words carefully dear, because if you were going to say what I think you were going to say, then you are not the man I believed you to be." If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

"Sheera, sweetheart, let me start over."

"Fine, so explain what it is you meant?" Sheera demanded.

"Explain to me how the loss of one child could diminish the capacity to love another?" Rowan sat next to her, glancing down at Thai's peacefully sleeping face.

"I know it's ridiculous, but a part of me feels that our child would have lived if this one hadn't been born," he confessed, the shame of the thought gnawing at him.

"Every time I look at her and feel something, I feel like I'm betraying our daughter." She reached out, her fingers finding his.

"I understand, Rowan, I really do," she said softly.

"But love is not finite. We can love and mourn our daughter while still loving and caring for Thai." She sighed.

"I know the wound is still fresh, the pain is beyond words, but that doesn't make us devoid of emotion."

"How do I get rid of the guilt, Sheera? I don't want to feel this way. This is our chance to be a family. We have lost so many trying to get here. It's not about her not being our child biologically, I can't explain it," Rowan said, a tear falling down his cheek.

"It's just too much to handle all at one time. We haven't even given our girl back to Pan with a proper burial. She did not get to live a life in this world but he can take her to the next." Sheera rubbed his back with her free hand.

"I know this is all so much, Rowan, too much for one life, let alone one day. We have returned so many to Pan, never hearing any of them laugh or speak. We never got to see their smiles or watch them grow. Maybe this was Gaia and Pan's plan all along. They gave and they took it all back, but then gave us Thai in return." He looked down at Thai as she awoke, her eyes wide and knowing. The innocence and wisdom they held were indescribable. For a moment, he allowed himself to see beyond his skepticism.

"Alright, if you're sure this is the right thing, then I guess…" he said, his voice strangled by emotion.

"I guess we'll figure it all out together." A small smile graced Sheera's lips as she handed Thai back to Rowan. He took her into his arms. An inexplicable warmth spread through him. He suddenly felt a sense of belonging he hadn't expected or could explain.

"Hello again," he murmured, this time with a touch of acceptance.

"Looks like we're going to be a family." He looked up at his wife.

"You're sure?" Sheera asked softly, running her fingers through his hair.

"I need to know that you are certain, Rowan. Once we take her, there is no going back." Rowan looked down at Thai, seemingly as eager for an answer as his wife.

"Yes, I'm sure. Deep inside, I feel we need her as much as she needs us."