Chương 31: Senseless Sensibility

Seraphina got up to follow, but Sheera caught her arm.

"Let him go," Sheera said softly.

"He needs to process. Going in there now will only rile him up further." Seraphina took a step back and nodded in agreement.

"I'm sorry, the last thing I ever wanted to do was add more stress and hurt to your plate."

"Auntie Phina, if I had a drop of water for every time Rowan needed a time out, I would have an ocean at my door." She scoffed.

"He'll be fine in a little bit, then Thai and I will go have a chat with him."

"Are you sure, Sheera? He looked pretty upset. I can take Thai to my…" she broke off when Celestia shot her a warning glance.

"No, I guess we can't even do that," she said.

"What's the matter, Auntie?" Sheera asked.

"It's nothing you need to concern yourself with, Sweetie." She sighed.

"The last thing I want to do is to add worry to your already full plate. I'm sure between Celestia and myself we can find another place to hide Thai until you can sort things out with Rowan."

"The only way you will take my baby out of this house is by force." Sheera insisted.

"I've lost one child today and I am not going to let anyone, not even you, take this one away too."

"Have you really considered the big picture?" Illianna asked.

"I did my best to interject my opinion in all of this, but this is not a unilateral decision you can make, Sheera. If Rowan objects as strongly as he appears to, it could destroy your marriage, or worse, he could end up resenting that precious baby." What have I done? Seraphina asked herself. Not once did I consider Rowan in any of this. That this could drive a wedge between them so deep it could ultimately tear them apart. It would impact Thai in ways that could potentially damage her forever.

Knowing Rowan resented her, blamed her for the break-up. That is no way for a child to grow up. None of it would be her fault, it would be mine, all mine.

"I hate to admit it, but your mother is right, Sheera," Seraphina said.

"I know you have become completely smitten with the baby, but if Rowan is not on board too, then the whole plan blows up." She sighed, casting an empathetic glance over at Sheera.

"How can you reasonably expect to raise her as if she were your own, when the man… her supposed father, can't so much as look at her without being filled with anger and resentment at her existence. When Thai spoke to him, he seemed genuinely afraid of her. We need to look at every angle here, not just yours." The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

"Raising a child on your own is not easy, Honey." Illianna began gently.

"After your father died, I'm not going to lie, it was hard." Her expression drifting off to an unseen place.

"You were so young, you didn't understand, and I needed to be strong… for you. The thing you never saw or could have even begun to understand, was the fact my whole world was collapsing around us and I had to carry that weight on my own." Sheera sat silently. A tear came to her eye.

"Mom, I had no idea how hard it was. You always made it look so easy."

"Sheera, that's what moms do." Seraphina added, "Children are not supposed to recognize adult struggles. As a mother, you do what you can to shelter your children from your own pain and heartache, all while soothing theirs." Seraphina nodded her head.

"Do you remember when you were, I don't know, I want to say 8 or so and you got that virus? You were so sick, not deathly so, but in your eyes, yeah, you were dying."

"Oh yeah, I made my mother make me soup, she held my hair when I threw up, wiped my nose, cleaned me up," Sheera replied.

"I bet even now, you still have no idea how sick your mom was at the time too," Seraphina said.

"Is that when you came?" Sheera asked.

"I remember being sick and you were there too."

"Yes, I happened to stop by and saw how ill your mother was and how taking care of you was just making her weaker." Seraphina replied softly.

"I had no idea that's why you were there," Sheera said, her embarrassment reddening her face.

"I just thought it was because I was special and you wanted to take care of me."

"Sweetie, you were special, and I did want to take care of you, but I also knew your mom needed a breather so she could get her strength back. That's the thing about children, they are the center of their universe, they don't have a big picture view of the world yet, and quite frankly they don't need to," Seraphina said, looking solemnly at Sheera.

"I guess the big question here is Sheera, are you prepared to do what needs to be done to raise this child on your own?" Illianna asked.

"If Rowan doesn't change his mind, you may not have a choice."

"Sheera, you are not obligated to take Thai, whether she likes it or not. Thai may have told you that she belongs here, but the choice is yours, not hers." Sheera looked down at Thai, then nodded.

"Mom, Auntie, Thai has something she would like to say." The two women cast a skeptical glance at one another.

"Go ahead," Illianna said.

"Just keep in mind, this all is what Thai is saying through me. These are not my thoughts or words." Sheera announced.

"Okay." Seraphina said, glancing at Celestia who looked spellbound at the whole interaction.

"Continue," Illianna said, uncertainty causing her voice to crack.

"I understand your reservations and each one is justified. You are correct, Sheera and Rowan both have choices to make. I may not be able to predict the future but there are things in both of them that I recognize. It is love, empathy and compassion. Rowan will come around. Right now he is just grieving the loss of his biological child. The thing he does not understand yet is that the child in the other room did not have what you would call a soul. It was an empty vessel waiting to be filled.

There never was a soul for that particular vessel because I filled another." Thai said through Sheera.