Chương 19: Rogue Rouge or Redrum?

Regina stepped off the teleport pad and hit the ground running, her high heels clacking in time to her frantic thoughts. Instant out, my ass. A glare was directed at the tiny device still clutched in her hand. This was a worthless piece of shit: the keys to my travel pod would have been more useful. The pressure in her jaw was becoming painful; anger had reached a point where breaking teeth was quickly becoming a distinct possibility.

Good thing I have dental, she thought, as she jabbed the elevator button repeatedly. I should quit. That's what I should do… march into his office and quit. The floor display flickered as she kept stabbing at the button as if it would make the elevator move faster.

"102?" she muttered, rolling her eyes.

"Nothing is ever easy, now is it?" A deep breath helped steady her nerves as the light, upbeat tempo piped into the vestibule began to grate on her ears…

"Hi there… I'm Victoria Ashphault. You may know me from my blockbuster roles in A Goblin's Quest for Freedom or A Goblin's Tale. But my passion? Looking good and feeling great! And we all know you can't feel great unless you look great," she added with a snicker.

"This is why my team of breakthrough scientists and I created the ultimate in beauty."

"Rogue Rouge doesn't just bring the deep orange contours every woman dreams of having; it's a complete skin‑care system that goes beyond color…" The elevator doors opened. Regina stepped in and pressed the button for the penthouse, the piped sound continuing inside the small space.

"It is specially formulated to hide those dark spots. Just worked fourteen hours and haven't slept in days? No problem. Just a little dab of Rogue Rouge and you'll look as fresh as a pampered princess… like me," she giggled.

"Sure, it may cost a little more, but how much would you pay to look and feel your best?" Victoria's voice was cut off, replaced by the melodic male voice of the announcer.

"Rogue Rouge… now available at the cosmetics counter of Blackwood's Emporium and other fine retailers. Blackwood's Emporium: buy here, or else…" The announcer paused for a chilling second.

"You will regret it. Disclaimer: may cause itching, burning, face peeling off in extreme heat, staining, scarring, loss of facial movement control. Contents of the container may spontaneously combust without warning. Do not apply while operating heavy equipment or travel pods. Keep away from children or pets, as it may cause them to violently attack. Do not use if you are pregnant, nursing, or plan to become pregnant, as it may cause extra limbs, missing limbs, or traumatic brain injury.

This product has been known to attract raccoons and giraffes, which can be serious." Regina looked up at the speaker, her eyes widening in disbelief.

"Side effects include, but are not limited to, facial numbness, irrational female outbursts, murderous rampage. If your colon ruptures, stop using this product immediately and seek prompt medical care. It is recommended that the user not make long‑term decisions while using this product, as it may cause periods of impaired judgment. May cause hallucinations, insomnia, and paranoia. In some instances, face may melt off when exposed to direct sunlight. Use only as directed.

The consumer assumes all responsibility and risk."

"Hi again! It's me, Victoria. I just wanted to let you know that we are running a very limited promotion for this week only! Rogue Rouge is buy one, get one free — that's right, buy one Rogue Rouge at the full price of two thousand six hundred…" The elevator doors opened to the reception area of the penthouse.

"Where is he?" Regina snapped, her voice cutting through the quiet of the reception area.

"He's…" the frumpy older woman at the desk began, but the words died in her throat. Regina swept past her without waiting for an answer, already pushing into the inner office. Agatha scrambled to catch up, her chair spinning behind her.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Blackwood," she squeaked over Regina's shoulder.

"She didn't give me the chance to say you were in a meeting with Mr. Tusk."

"It's fine, I expected her," Mordak said, his round orange face grinning with that fake smile she hated.

"Close the door on your way out, Agatha." He turned back to Regina.

"So glad you could make it back." The smile lingered, but his eyes held no trace of joviality. Elios stood up quickly, rushing toward Regina.

"So, where is the critter?" he asked, rubbing his hands.

"Boss, I don't see a critter." He stepped back, turning toward Mordak. Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences. He turned back to Regina, eyes gleaming with anticipation.

"Gimme it, Regina, tell me where it is. Mordak said I could take it, so gimme, gimme, gimme." He stomped his foot and crossed his arms.

"Now, if you don't mind, I really, really want to see it." His words sounded more like a child demanding a toy he didn't deserve than a world-renowned scientist. Regina gaped at him. This was not the man she had come to know. Something was different. Very different.

"Mr. Tusk," Regina said coolly, "I'm sorry, sir, but I was unable to locate the..." she raised her fingers, making air quotes.

"Critter." Mordak flew up from his desk in a rage.

"What do you mean? This child shouldn't be difficult to locate. This child isn't normal, everyone says so. I promised I would find it, and it shouldn't be that hard to do." He turned to Elios.

"This is why you never send a woman to do a man's job. Isn't that right, Elios?"

"Yes, sir. Without a doubt. A woman can never do what men can do," he replied, practically jumping up and down.

"When the good people of this nation elected me to serve once again, after the previous election was, you know, stolen from me," he said. He paused, watching Elios nodding vehemently, before continuing, "Everyone said so."

"I promised that I would find that child. That dangerous, murderous child. Everyone said it would be easy. How many dangerous, murderous children can there be?" He paused, taking a breath.

"I told them, leave it to me, I will find it. I will destroy it, because well…" He paused again, taking a slower breath in.

"We all know it will be the end of this great nation as we know it. We have to act now," Mordak said, making his way closer to Regina.

"Boss, you need to realize your first mistake was sending a woman out to do a man's job, Mr. Blackwood, sir. You should have let me go. Like I wanted to," Elios said as he resumed his seat by the window.

"I have the technology for these things, secret weapons so to speak."

"Elios, the people of this great nation elected me. By a landslide I might add." He turned, placing his hands behind his back and pacing slowly.

"After the last election was… you know… was stolen. I, Mordak G. Blackwood, vowed I would make this nation great again by finding that child and destroying it!" He made a slicing motion against his throat.

"We all know what a threat it is to this great nation," he said, waving his arms.

"If allowed to survive, it will cause chaos and destruction. It will make inflation grow, cause citizens to lose their jobs." Regina looked at him blankly. What the child has to do with inflation or unemployment escapes me, but …

"Regina, did you find that horrible fairy, Seraphina?" Elios asked.

"I mean, our intelligence shows that she is harboring an infant, whether or not it is 'the infant' is unclear, but she has baby things at her house so, she must have the child."

"Sirs," Regina began, trying to find the words, "she has children and grandchildren. Is it possible that perhaps your intelligence has…"

"Has what?" Mordak interjected.

"I don't care if it is 'the infant' or some other infant. The people want an infant and I will give them an infant!" he said, his orange face twisting with rage.

"They don't need to know that it may not be 'the infant', as long as I give them an infant, they will see me as the hero that I am."

"Not to mention that I already sent out a beep that we had the infant in custody and it was being held in a high security prison awaiting interrogation," Elios said flatly.

"It's already been rebeeped by thousands, not to mention liked," he added, smirking as he flipped his wrist and a screen appeared before him.

"I know, I had my press secretary put it on my site, you know, Truth be Damned, and the likes just keep pouring in. People just eat this up," Mordak said, looking over at Elios.

"Don't they? They just love this stuff, they love me, they love what I'm doing. They say that I am the best thing to ever happen to them, to this great nation, to the universe," he said, grinning from ear to ear, resembling a poorly carved pumpkin.

"Yeah, boss," Elios agreed, his head bobbing up and down.

"Since we outlawed fact checking, our numbers have really been at an all-time high," he said excitedly.

"You just can't go wrong with this, it's a win, win, win!" His enthusiasm oozing out of him like a sponge being wrung out.

"Okay, Elios, calm down. Do I need to send you to Wentworth again? We have more important things to discuss here. You know, like how we are going to make me look even better than I already do. The people really do love me, the polls say that they think I am the best," Mordak said, turning his attention back to Regina.

"Rachel, I sent you on this mission because, as you know, you're a woman," he began, sauntering back toward his desk with a smug air.

"Regina," she muttered.

"Women have an inbred knowledge of babies. It's technically what you were made for." He plopped into his chair and looked at her with feigned confusion.

"How hard could it be for you, a woman," he paused for a long, insulting moment, "to find a baby?" Mordak looked down at his fingernails.

"Don't you women… have some kind of eh… internal alert system that makes you able to locate babies?" Regina looked at him, appalled.

"Sir, I don't think you understand how…"

"Regardless!" he interrupted.

"If this task is beyond your scope of capability, I have no problem sending out, you know, better agents. Male agents, who are far smarter than you could ever hope to be. You know why they are smarter? They're smarter because, you know, they're well, men. Everyone knows men are better than women in every way," he said, standing up.

"You know, Elios, if we could figure out how to make babies without women, we would have no use for them at all. Get on that, will you?"

"Right away, sir!" Elios said, nodding his head up and down. Regina did all she could to not begin rolling her eyes at the level of stupidity that was all around her. You can't fix stupid. You can't argue with stupid. Especially when stupid is clueless to the fact that they are indeed STUPID! her mind screamed.