Chương 25: How to Build a Better Baby

"Can you believe her boss?" Elios asked once Regina left the room.

"You'd think you were asking the impossible of her. She can't even bring in a baby… a baby, come on now!" Elios remarked, stepping closer to Mordak's desk.

"It didn't even have to be 'the' baby, just a baby." Elios glanced at Mordak's desk. It was oversized and gleaming through the clutter of half-finished memos and a crystal paperweight shaped like a fist. Behind him, a wall of screens flickered with the latest headlines and Blackwood Industries commercials, pausing occasionally for the latest propagandistic message. Mordak stared at "his wall," admiring what one could only describe as a tribute to narcissism and unchecked self-aggrandizement.

The "gallery," as he so fondly referred to it, was a wall displaying a series of official portraits. Each featured Mordak in increasingly dramatic poses, from solemn statesman to heroic conqueror, all bathed in flattering light and framed in gold.

"Elios, I had a thought. A wonderful thought. You could call it the best thought." He threw his arms wide, nearly knocking over a decorative globe. His eyes were gleaming with manic pride as he stabilized the globe.

"You know how brilliant I am when it comes to figuring stuff out. So, this is going to be huge. Are you ready?" he asked, standing up and moving closer to Elios.

"What is it, sir? Please thrill me with your wisdom!" Elios said, prancing in place.

"You and me, we do great things together. Everyone says so. What if…" he began. He stepped closer to Elios, who was practically bursting with anticipation, before continuing.

"What if we made a baby? You and me, together? It's brilliant. It's probably the bestest idea I have ever had," he said, smiling smugly. Elios' brow furrowed in confusion.

"Sir, you do understand how babies are made, right?" He stared awkwardly at Mordak.

"Not that… I am not honored, sir, that you would choose me to create a baby with, but I don't think we are eh… don't..."

"Have enough time?" Mordak interrupted.

"It takes what, nine days or is it weeks to grow a baby?" he asked Elios, unsure. Elios stood silently staring at Mordak, scratching his head. Did he seriously not know how long a baby gestated? How could he not know something so basic? Mordak shook his head.

"We just don't have that kind of time, Elios!"

"What if we found a woman…" Elios began, hesitantly.

"Elios, you buffoon!" Mordak screamed.

"Do we really need a woman? I mean really. If we thought about it long and hard enough, we could do it without a woman. I am sure we could do it and do it a whole lot better than any woman out there. I mean look at us, we're brilliant. The people… would love us. The world… would love us. We would make the best baby there ever was. The people would love it… almost as much as they love me!"

"But if the people ended up loving it? I don't think they would be very happy if we executed it," Elios began, pausing to gather his thoughts.

"Right now, we want them to hate this baby. They need us to save them from it. They want us to destroy the baby, sir. The last thing we would need is some bleeding-heart group to fall in love with our baby and try to save it. Then where would we be?" Elios asked. The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

"Good point!" Mordak said.

"We need them to love to hate the baby. A baby that in their eyes is evil. A destroyer of worlds. The harbinger of death, even," he said, his arms emphasizing his words.

"Oooh, I like that. Do you like that Elios? Harbinger of death. I came up with it just now. You just witnessed history, Elios. History. No one has ever heard that before and now that is what the baby will be called… the harbinger of death! It has a nice ring to it." He smiled proudly. Elios' face stiffened. We need them to blame the baby for all their problems. We need to make them think that by destroying it, all that is wrong with their lives will be fixed," Mordak said firmly.

Elios took a seat on the sofa and looked out the window, racking his brain for a solution. He flipped his wrist to see his screen.

"Sir, your approval rating has just hit an all-time high according to the most recent beep. They want to see the baby, sir. What do you propose we do?" He sighed.

"If Regina doesn't bring us a baby, then how do we pull this off?" he said, getting up and heading toward Mordak to show him the latest poll numbers. Mordak began pacing.

"We don't need a real baby. The people just need to think we have..." he said, pausing to make air quotes, "the baby." Not realizing Elios had been following close behind, Mordak turned suddenly, practically knocking Elios onto the floor.

"Sir, I don't understand," Elios said, casting his eyes downward as he righted himself.

"Elios, you have superior technical knowledge. Everyone says so. You are just the greatest at sciency stuff. Why can't you build us a baby?" he asked, taking Elios completely by surprise.

"Sir, I don't think I can build a living baby," Elios said.

"I mean, there's just too much… um... icky stuff that I'm pretty sure I couldn't replicate in the lab." Mordak glared at him, shaking his head.

"Not a living, breathing, real-life baby, you buffoon! Just something that looks and acts like one. You know, like one of those things little girls carry around."

"You mean a doll, sir?" Elios asked.

"No, not a doll. I know what a doll is. The fake babies, the ones that look real. Doesn't matter what it's called. I want you to build me one, but it has to be the best one anyone has ever seen. You need to make it look so real no one will question the execution. We will televise it and then the people will see how awesome I am. I will be forever known as the smartest, most wonderful leader that has ever been."

"What if we build this baby and Regina comes back with…

"the baby," then what will we do?" Elios asked, flipping his screen back into his wrist.

"You know, Elios, I was just asking myself that same question. I just asked… in my head… Mordak, what are you going to do if Rachel brings back the baby? Well, any baby, after you have shown the world your baby. To them, that will be "the baby," so then what do you do with "the baby," you know, the real baby." Elios thought he understood but wasn't entirely sure. Who's Rachel? he asked himself, his eyebrows knitting together. Then it clicked… Regina.

"Go on, sir."

"Well, then my brilliant mind… you know I'm a genius, right? Everybody says so. I'm the mostest smart person they have ever seen. I know things others don't. I was born with this brilliant mind… but anyway… my brilliant, outstanding mind, it's like no one else's. You know that right? Well, it says to me… self, if Rachel brings in a baby, you will have to execute that too. So, my self goes… well, genius mind of mine, how are you going to execute a second baby?

People might get upset if we execute two babies, but not if, are you ready? This is huge! Absolutely mind blowing… we just say… it was an accomplice!" he said, turning to face Elios, smiling brightly, before pointing his finger to his head.

"It's all up here, Elios. It's all up here. It never stops working. It is always coming up with these brilliant, phenomenal ideas. Everyone says so." Elios looked at Mordak, dumbfounded and began slow-clapping.

"Sir, I am just so amazed by how your mind works. It truly defies all logic how a mere man can come up with ideas so brilliant. You put everyone to shame."