Chương 28: Sins Of His Flesh

"What are you reading?" She was leaning in from above and too comfortably close to his face, her hair dangled to the side, and she was looking at his digital novel on his phone. He couldn't tell if the fresh berry smell came from his drink, her straw, or from her hair. His mind was reeling.

'The beast couldn't compare' June sat with himself for what felt like eternity, playing mental chess with an invisible opponent.

"Oh... it's a novel." He gingerly just gave her his phone to look at the name.

'Wait, why did I just give her my phone... Oh my god? What have I done?' June was overthinking it; he had a burner phone for all his more meticulous items. He almost teared up thinking about its unfortunate fate when he got his powers.

'I can't believe the catalyst that made me want to be better at controlling my lethal powers was because I lost my old phone with years of material.'

'What a loss, R. I. P, old phone. Your files won't be forgotten.' June effectively snorted the slushy he bought, basically giving himself enough brain freeze to consider it brain damage.

'Forced sphenopalatine ganglioneuralgia is the way to go.'

'... Why do I know that word?'

"Oh its this novel, I have been reading it on my sisters recommendation" June lit up.

"Yeah, it's great; it's actually my second reading."

"Oh yeah, I never got your name; I gave you mine." June tossed in the last bit using his last bits of burnt-up courage. She tousled a bit of hair back over her ear. June never understood why some guys would freak out when they saw a girl's earlobe.

'Holy moly.' June couldn't believe what he saw, nor could he believe what he said.

'It's been almost a decade since I let that one rip.'

"Lilia" June couldn't understand why, but he felt like he just transcended dimensions. He needed to change the topic; blossoming love or whatever he was experiencing was great, but he spent $5 on a movie ticket, and he wouldn't want to miss it.

"Nice to meet you, I'm June." June didn't know why he felt so compelled to tell her his name, but he quickly course-corrected.

"Our movie is going to start; shall we head back?" He could have almost imagined a bit of blush on her snow-white face. This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere. His eyes almost rolled back into his head to preserve the sight, but he chalked it up to his imagination in order to maintain what's left of his crumbling sanity.

On the way back to the theater, the snow queen kept walking behind him; she would always manage to dodge June's eye contact but consciously and obviously stared a hole through his head. He almost lifted a finger to flaunt about his hair tie, but he forgot he wasn't using Shade's gift to hold it together since it was doing its intended job and resting around his arm; instead, he used a bit of his purlicue that he elongated into a makeshift hair tie.

'Maybe I shouldn't tell the cute girl about my hair tie made of skin.'

"So... you're a dreamer too. What powers can you use?"

'I messed up. What if she asks me about my powers?'

'My abilities are disgusting.'

"I do ice magic." Her voice sounded very subdued and meek, almost as if she were embarrassed of it.

'What do you know? I guess her vibe did give off iciness.'

"Woah Ice magic? How does that work" As curious as June was, he also didn't care much; he was interested, but he had no background to understand, but it would be a waste to let her wallow; he simply threw in the 'Woah' to hopefully make her feel better.

"Oh, you make mana freeze the air, and it's very intuitive; it's hard to explain." She seemed a bit more confident about her magic; maybe the "woah" June threw in worked. He felt like jumping up and pumping his fist; he couldn't quite understand why his body felt that way.

"You should show me it sometime" June was facing away from her, but a hand had to swiftly hold his jaw in place. Why did he say that, it was a Hail Mary at best and an insult at worst. He had no place asking the snow queen out. He didn't even intend for it to be a date invitation in the first place.

'Maybe she wouldn't think it's a date thing.' June felt a little pang of hope in his chest that he didn't know of, dim a little. But he bounced back immediately when she averted her eyes from drilling a hole in his skull.

'Is this an unintentional win?' Most of the way back to the theater was silent. Well, June kept thinking and pronouncing her name in his head like some sort of good luck charm. The theater had inexplicably closed its doors that led to it from inside the mall; the only way into the theater was to go outside and go around to the front entrance.

'Probably so they don't need to pay people to check bags at both entrances.' The two, walked out the doors. June rushed to hold the door open for the airlock doors the mall had. June wasn't trying to be gentlemanly; he just did that for everyone for some reason, even he himself could figure out why he felt compelled to open the door.

'Could I perhaps be a decent human being?' Only the finest would be fit for the queen of snow; June didn't view himself very highly.

'I can be a friend at best.'

'No one would want someone like me; my abilities are disgusting.' He had passed the forbidden roadblock. His ability and himself were entwined irreparably. Normally such an entwinement would be impossible; even though June always said his power was body manipulation, it was no more than a trait. Aspirants and Dreamers were free to choose their own pathways when it came to powers.

But at the same time, most people had time to learn their powers before becoming an aspirant; it was really just a push against the world until it clicked, and when it clicked, it became easier to impose your will on the world. But Will was an auxiliary; at the end of the day, it supports the real sources like mana and qi.

There were plenty of true sources that a person could use, and June was in no way barred from learning them, but unlike most, June became a dreamer without learning how to control his will through gradual training, and then he was put in a place where he was left unattended and had to fend for himself. June didn't know the effects of using will in its rawest form on himself; people tended to use 'words of power' instead. Those would streamline their will by using keywords as a funnel.

In the end, to be a dreamer a person must be broken or damaged in some sort, because people who have all their screws will never be able to refuse the reality in front of them like those who lost a couple. June didn't streamline his will when using it on his body with keywords; he saturated them recklessly and forced his mind to continuously change his idea of perfect.

Body manipulation as a trait would be used as passive healing; it would always course correct to the mind's own version of perfect, but June didn't know any magic or spells when the beast attacked; he just had to make do. He had to change his perception of the perfect body for every new situation, and sometimes when his body resisted such a drastic change, June had to rend his flesh himself to fit his vision.

All dreamers were a little crazy in their own right, but few if not any, would rip themselves in half and weaponize their own body in a utilitarian way like June could. June's perfect body in his mind is one that completes the task in the most efficient method. His mind had split itself in unsavory ways due to the beasts influence, parts forever broken and fixed with scotch tape and glue. He could still maintain himself, but when needed, his flesh carried his will's word. And his will bent to nothing.