Chương 68: George’s Run (III)

>>Well. Look at the bright side. >>We get to ride that slide again. They were back in the first room. The long hallway stretched in front of them. George took out the key fob to deploy the jet ski again, but Nod stopped him. >>Slow down, champ. We have a few minutes before this room goes vertical. Let's take a breather. You just died twice. How ya doing? George blew out a breath and started walking toward the door.

"Fine, I guess," he said.

"It all happened so fast. It hurt a lot, but only for a few seconds. As soon as I died, the pain was gone." >>Isn't that little word "fine" such a marvelous, versatile word? It is so short, yet it can mask so much repression, avoidance, and denial. >>Only that doesn't really work when you've got a node spider jacked into your cortisol and epinephrine receptors. >>Because… you stressed, brotha. >>And who can blame you? You just experienced the sensation of dying twice! Not many people have to go through that.

>>You doubled Jesus! >>And, by the looks of it—if you want to swagger back into Sarala's death trap and be the badass hero we all want you to be—you are going to have to die a lot more before we're done. >>So. Just sit down for a minute. >>It's time for another of Noddy's Little Pep Talks. George slowed to a stop and noticed that his hands were shaking. He thought of the sea monsters waiting for him at the end of the hallway. He thought of the way the small dragon uncoiled its snake-like body when it noticed him.

He leaned against the wall and found that it felt good to let his legs go limp and slide down to the floor. >>Enough of this "we're not going to die" stuff. >>We're gonna die. Probably five to ten more times, depending how expensive these resurrections get. Then, we're going to get kicked out of this challenge room and the shit will commence hitting the fan. >>For the next several lives, dying is your superpower. Embrace it. Own it. >>Dying is just another day at the office for you now.

>>You don't have your "George gets smart and super fast" ability right now, so we can't cheese through these scenario rooms on god mode, but that doesn't matter. >>The only thing that matters is learning as much as we can on each life. They say repetition is the mother of learning. >>We 'bout to birth out a whole new George! >>We don't need to avoid death. We need to use it. Leverage it. Time loops are golden opportunities for iteration.

>>For instance, you better believe we are going to get that permanent upgrade in the slide room this time. And maybe it will be something that helps you kill that dragon. Who knows? >>As far as weapons go, we are just going to have to MacGyver something. To that end, behold… Nod's Inventory and Weapons Doodle List!

>> Here's what we have to work with: ▢ The Good Shepherd's Long Shot (that heretofore unused sling from Johnny) ▢ Daddy's Little Master Plan (insight injector from Johnny) ▢ The nodling (great scout, poor warrior) ▢ The Silent Negation (shield bracelet you stole off the Trial Nine) ▢ An innocuous needle ▢ Voidmetal suit of armor ▢ Enigmatic Emissary Shard (broken… sorry!) ▢ Mirrorveil helmet (death trap edition) ▢ Dimension hopping hover dolphin + key fob. a. k. a.

"Jellybean." ▢ Cassie's Mentis token ▢ TLX's intrusive nano tracking tattoo ▢ Brazing Talon ▢ Combat log ▢ Several ability orbs, including the one that creates a portal to another room, the one that removes the voting enclosures, etc. ▢ And, most importantly, Nod the Destroyer >>And an ever-dwindling list of bonus items from our Quest power. >>Which, by the way, lost two more items when you died.

"And we have whatever we can buy in the store. Do you suppose the gold we collect resets after every death? Could we buy things, see how far they get us, and then buy other things the next time around?" George said. >>And the good ideas keep coming. >>See? We've got this. >>We currently have 175 gold, the amount we had before the slide room. So, the gold resets. I bet that means anything we buy resets too. That's great. We can cycle through options until we find things that help us get farther each time.

"But will the options always be the same?" George asked. >>Only one way to find out…

"Die again." >>That's that attitude I want to see! What is a little pain when there is exponential growth to be gained? >>Now multiply that determined, relentless fatalism by 12 and we'll have Cassie out of her plight in no time. >>Now, hop on the jet ski and drive down to that portal. I'm going to go shopping for amenities. George deployed the jet ski and drove it forward at a slow speed while Nod text-muttered about the store options he was seeing. >>No… nope… not that… definitely not that.

As George drove forward, items began falling from the air in front of him, bouncing off the dolphin's nose and rolling down the sloped hallway. He saw a bottle of water, a toy sailboat, box of Crayola crayons, and a large package of toilet paper appear and disappear as he drove forward. >>OK. Got something. Hold up. George stopped the jet ski and a pool cue clattered to the ground. George picked it up and looked at it. >>I bought 13 amenities and found us a spear! I call that a bargain.

"It's a pool cue," George said.

"It isn't even sharp." >>Details! You're supposed to be a knight! Pop that onto the front of the dolphin, use your shield on the fire spit, and ram the dragon at high speed. Piece of cake.

"How am I going to drive while holding the spear and the shield at the same time?" >>This is the ideation stage, George. Let's cross that bridge when we come to it. Love what you're reading? Discover and support the author on the platform they originally published on. George kept driving and more random items fell to the ground in front of the jet ski. When he pulled to a stop in front of the door, Nod was still cycling through amenities.

He could hear various objects bouncing and colliding with one another as they rolled down the inclined hall. >>Yes! OK. This will work. Hands out. I don't want to drop these. George lifted his hands and three metal bocce balls clattered to the ground on the other side of the dolphin. >>Dammit, George. As the balls began to roll away, Nod cast draw on the balls and caught them out of the air one at a time.

"We are going to throw balls at the dragon?" George said. >>No, dummy. You have a sling. It is the classic underdog weapon! >>You also have a robotic arm controlled by a genius AI. These balls weigh two pounds apiece. If we get a good swing going on that sling, I bet I could launch those things 40-50 miles an hour. At close range, that will pack some serious punch.

"How am I supposed to carry these down that slide?" George said.

"Let alone through the sea monster room?" >>Look at you, Mr. Negative! I literally pulled two weapons out of thin air and all you can say is "Umm… the pants I stole off a dead guy don't have pockets big enough for this spear you gave me." >>I am sure you will figure something out, George. >>I do most of the work in the sea monster room anyway. Just curl up wish you were somewhere else. George sighed.

"You sure make life interesting, Nod." >>And for your life, that is really saying something! Ba-dum CHING.

"Maybe we can wait until we're at the bottom of the slide to get our amenities next time, hey?" George said. >>Yeah. OK. Fair enough. That's a solid idea. >>Anyway. Ready? George minimized the jet ski and stepped through the portal into the next room. As soon as they were inside the ocean room, Nod took them up to the ceiling again until they located the exit token. They dipped near the surface above the token and started casting draw.

George had stuffed the bocce balls down the front of his pants and had to tuck his legs up so they didn't roll out through a pant leg. He pinned the pool cue between his arm and his knees. As Nod had predicted, George's only involvement in the sea monster room was to hang on. It took five draws to fish the exit token out of the water, but no sea monsters reared up out of the waves to eat them this time.

The equation in the second room was different this time—not that George would have noticed, but Nod told him to type 5, 442 on the keypad instead of 3. When he did, the door unlocked. He went through the portal and was back at the top of the slide. >>OK. Now, George. This time just let gravity do the work. Sit back and enjoy the ride.

"I don't have much of a choice," George said. He had assumed the position of curling up around the bocce balls again. He held the pool cue in his hand and let it drag behind him so it wouldn't get in the way.

"Here goes nothing," George said and scooted forward. He started to pick up momentum as the top part of the slide curved through its turns and spirals. When he came to the straightaway, it was everything he could do to remain curled around the bocce balls as he slid faster and faster. George screamed as he shot out of the bottom of the slide and was briefly airborne, flying across the gap between the tube slide and the flat slide. He flailed his arms and legs and the pool cue went flying out of his hands.

He sailed through the upgrade ring and landed heavily on his side with an ooomff! Permanent Upgrade (1/3) >>See, George? FUN!

"Everything hurts," George said.

"And I lost our 'spear.'" >>It strikes me that those pants have been very handy storage for the knickknacks we've picked up in this trial—crotch bocces included. However, we are going to have to look into getting you a dimensional storage space sooner or later. As soon as George had landed, he'd started to slide forward again. George cast draw on the nearest gold coins and checked that all three bocce balls were still there. He checked his gold total.

"You spent over 50 gold on amenities?!" >>You gotta spend money to make money, George. >>Hey, what do you bet that second upgrade ring is underneath the slide? Classic video game logic. When the trail of gold coins veers off the edge of the slide, it'll be a Code Venom moment, so just try not to freak out. In a few seconds, they came to the spot where the line of coins disappeared over the side of the slide and Nod took action.

He attached the light grapple to the edge and pulled hard, sending George careening over the lip of the slide. George only had time to say, "What? Whoa!" before he was flying into the darkness. Sure enough, as he started to fall, George saw the glowing circle of the second upgrade ring. Nod shot the light grapple at the point in the slide directly above the ring and pulled the rope in fast. George's legs whipped sideways as his body followed the grapple attached to his right hand.

Nod cut the rope off in time to send George sailing perfectly through the center of the upgrade ring. Permanent Upgrade (2/3) Nod shot the lightrope out again as George began to fall and once again reeled it in hard enough to send George arcing sideways toward the opposite edge of the slide. Nod tightened the rope just as George drew level with the slide. As the rope retracted completely, George spun fully upside down for a moment before his body crashed back onto the slide.

He'd lost one of the bocce balls and the others had made it halfway down the leg of his trousers where his bent knee had stopped them from falling farther. He rolled onto his back and let gravity pull him down the slide again. He groaned.

"I hate challenge rooms." George closed his eyes while Nod lifted his arm and cast draw on the gold coins as they passed. By the time they reached the end of the slide, George had collected himself enough to sit up. He straightened his bruised knee and held his hand against the bocce balls in his pants. When George slid to a stop at the bottom of the slide, the pool cue was waiting for them at the base of the giant wall with the portal door in it. >>How are your… uh… balls, George?

Instead of responding, George stood up stiffly and felt the beginning of a bruise forming on his left side. George reached into his waistband and withdrew the two balls. >>If you can walk, go get that third piece of the permanent upgrade. He cast draw on the pool cue and it flew into his hand.

"Do you really think this pool cue has a hope of spearing a dragon?" >>Ummm. Yeah. >>Sure. >>Let's just zoom through the portal super fast and charge it. These dragons always have weak spots hidden somewhere on them. I'm sure it will work out fine.

"OK. And when that doesn't work, what is the next plan?" George said. >>Just keep the bocces handy and put the sling handles in the Nod hand. I'll take care of the rest. >>Dying is your superpower, remember? Let's look at this as a learning experience.

"Says the guy who can apparently turn off his pain receptors." >>We all play the hand we're dealt. You don't see me complaining.

"You complain constantly." >>Whatever. Quit stalling! Snag that last upgrade ring and then let's go slay a dragon. George slowly walked through the third upgrade ring and received a notification. Permanent Upgrade (3/3)—Unlock one stat from a randomized menu of 20 stats. Upgrade the stat to level 75. Select a stat to unlock from the following options: 1. Agility 2. General Resistance 3. Schlep 4. Constitution 5. Strength 6. Mesh 7. Tactility 8. Soul Integrity 9. Zazz 10. Equanimity 11. Lucidity 12. Intelligence 13.

Dexterity 14. Mien 15. Buoyancy 16. Parity 17. Hypersync 18. Moxy 19. Charisma 20. Focus >>Holy shit! That's better than I thought it'd be.

"I recognize some of these words," George said.

"How much do you know about these stats?" >>I have generalized knowledge about lots of stats but I don't recognize several of these. >>I have no idea what parity, hypersync, and mien might refer to. Let alone zazz. >>I'm leaning toward the self-explanatory ones. You know… strength, agility, intelligence, constitution, etc. >>A level 75 equanimity stat might help with those involuntary screams you keep doing, though. >>General Resistance would be good, too. That'd bulk us up against elemental damage, I bet…

like the fireballs we're soon to be facing.

"What does a level 75 strength stat get me? Are we talking superhero level strength?" >>Yes. A level 75 strength stat gets you up into superhero levels. Not the coolest superheroes, mind you, but the C-Tier ones definitely. You won't be able to pick up Mjollnir or anything, but you could take a punch from Ant Man or that bow-and-arrow guy for sure. >>A very strong un-enhanced human would be between 45-55. This would be a major improvement and is my #1 pick.

"And what about intelligence or agility? What would those be like at level 75?" George asked. >>A level 75 intelligence stat would greatly upgrade your memory… umm… such as it is. You'd learn stuff faster, think faster, reason better. I've wondered if your ability delivers those "epiphanic gestalt shifts" by supercharging a cocktail of your mental stats. >>You shouldn't get this one because you've already got an AI riding shotgun in your head. >>Level 75 agility would be up near superhero level, too.

You'd do a lot less flopping around and banging into stuff when we go Code Venom. You'd be better able to dodge. Your body would get faster and a lot more flexible. >>But you shouldn't pick that one because I think making you flop around and hit stuff is hilarious.

"Or we could just pick one of the mysterious ones," George said.

"Remember that time we could have picked the Way of Encalagon and then ALL CAPS told us that was the best one? Maybe there is a diamond hidden in this list somewhere again." >>Yeah… there are also some real duds on this list. Buoyancy, for example. What if you choose one of the weird ones and only end up with perfect pitch or weirdly flexible hot dog fingers? >>It's too big of a risk. >>Pick strength. >>The point of this challenge room is to save Cassie and Max.

You need to get stronger if you are going to tackle the roided-out version of Hollywood Cole waiting for you at the end of this sidequest. New Stat! Strength unlocked—level 75 The pain in George's body instantly disappeared and he drew in a sharp breath as he felt his arms, legs, and chest get slightly bigger and… better. Unlike most of the other things that had happened to his body since waking up in the cradle, this didn't hurt. It felt good. It felt great.

He had become accustomed to the weight of the armor, but it suddenly felt like it weighed almost nothing. His muscles writhed, gathered definition, and then settled again. He took a deep breath and noticed that even his lungs felt stronger somehow. He was suddenly full of energy. He felt like he could run faster and jump higher. He felt invincible. >>Well, there go all my jokes about your George-pudge. >>Dammit. >>I'm gonna miss those jokes. They were good jokes.

George dug the key fob out of his pocket and deployed the jet ski. He unwound the sling from his waist and took the ends in his Nod hand. He picked the pool cue up in the same hand. He mounted the jet ski and dropped the bocce balls in the footwell, holding them in place with his foot.

"Ready?" >>Hang on, George. I think I'm actually sad about you losing your dad fat. >>I might need a minute. >>The next thing you know, you'll find a way to upgrade your intelligence stat, and then what will I make fun of? George pointed the pool cue straight out from the dolphin's nose and activated the Silent Negation shield. He twisted the throttle, and the jet ski rocketed forward through the portal.