Chương 22: We're a papa!

>>Whoa. Heavy. Pre-Nod George was a real asshole.

"I am so sorry," George said, but he wasn't talking to Nod. When the memory ended, George was kneeling on the ground with his arms wrapped around himself.

"I am so sorry." The Tom Petty song was running through his head. >>I guess that answers a few questions. >>I wonder why ALL CAPS showed you that stuff? Couldn't be random. You get a quest to find your family, and then two of your memories involve looking for your kids. That is either an awfully convenient coincidence or… plot setup. >>Maybe this is your Ebenezer Scrooge story. >>I can see it now…

black-hearted old Georgie sees the error of his ways, setting the stage for his transformation into a good and decent man. >>That makes me Tiny Tim. >>I don't know if that fits. >>Maybe in this rendition, Tiny Tim is more like Tiny Krueger, and instead of saying, "God bless us, everyone," and throwing off his crutches in the end, he sprouts claws and slashes everyone's faces off.

"I need a minute, Nod," George said.

"Just… shut up for a minute." The memory of Christopher felt like it was lodged somewhere in his chest like a weight. His throat felt like it was swelling shut, and he couldn't get enough breath. He wanted to leave the car, run back into the apartment, collect the boy in his arms, and tell him he was sorry. >>We could do that. On the other hand, I'm starting to wonder if dwelling on these memories might not be great for our… you know… survival. I propose a new strategy I call "Bottle It Up and Push It Down."

It is the Plan B when the primary strategy of "Stop Buying These Damn Memories Anyway" is not observed. >>What do these pop psychologists know about emotional health anyway? Bottle it up, I say! Who has time to process their feelings when there is a game to win/survive? Not you, my friend. Not you. >>Cuz this game does not care about your baggage. >>How about this? Why don't I treat you to a beer and pizza so that you can chill out for a bit while I update you on some… developments?

Nod pulled up the store interface and bought "Pepperoni pizza with pepperjack cheese and beer (IPA)" from the food menu. Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings. Purchased: Pepperoni pizza with pepperjack cheese and beer (IPA) >>Time for some yummy nom noms!

"What?" George said.

"You can buy things without me?" Two large slices of pizza on a cardboard plate flopped down on the cradle floor next to George. An open bottle of beer sat next to it, glistening with condensation. The pizza filled the cradle with the rich smell of melted cheese and pepperoni. >>Well… heh heh. Funny you should mention that. >>I guess now is as good a time as any to tell you I can watch those memories, but I'm not exactly IN them like you are. I can also do other stuff while the memory is happening.

>>Like buying things in the store.

"Nod, what did you do?" >>Well, you spent all that gold on new stuff, and I thought it was high time for Noddy to treat himself, too. >>To make a long story short, I have an announcement… >>We're a papa! >>I refreshed the Familiar Upgrades until I found one that was extremely useful and a Must-Have. >>In fact, that useful upgrade is about to pop out of your body in, let's see… about 90 seconds.

"Explain!" >>I got knocked up. >>We're pregnant. >>That's the good news. The bad news is you only have thirteen gold left.

"What? Aren't you… a boy spider? I mean… that is what I thought. And what does it mean that they will pop out of me? From where?" George stood up. His body suddenly felt weirdly itchy. >>Oh please, George. Please don't put your archaic, anthropomorphic gender norms onto me. >>Node spiders don't divide into sexes. We reproduce through… how to explain this… something between mitosis and how a car is made in a factory.

>>But these little spider babies are made from your genetic material, so they are sort of like your kids. >>Just don't lock them at home while you go to work! Jeez. >>Actually. Belay that order. That is exactly what we should do with these guys.

"Get to the popping out of me part!" George shouted. >>Yes. The miracle of life! It looks like the egg cluster is in your… give me a moment… right shoulder. You should actually be able to feel it growing there. This is going to hurt a bit. Sorry about that. But it'll be over fast. >>Just don't stomp them like you did when you met me!" Are you telling me there will be more Nods in here? Are they going to crawl back inside me like you did?" >>Oh, no, no, no. There is only one Nod.

>>These are more like little nodling droids that we can make do stuff for us. They're barely even sentient. Very useful. You'll see.

"Ow!" George scratched at his shoulder, where a noticeable bump was rising. He pulled his sleeve up and saw a red mound. Then, as he watched, the top of the mound protruded into a point, and the itch became searing pain. A hair-thin black needle pushed its way out of his skin on top of a lump now the size of a golf ball. The needle disappeared back into the mound, shot out again, and disappeared. Soon, it was joined by three other needles rapidly shooting in and out.

"Nod! Is this normal? It hurts." >>Hmm. I think so. I've never been a parent before. >>Just breathe through it. Heee heee whooooooo. Heee heee whoooooo. Then, like a dam bursting, the perforations on his shoulder split open and black eggs gushed out from the narrow rip in his skin and plopped onto the floor.