Chương 6: Purchased: Familiar—Node Spider.

Purchased: Upgrade Button Auto-click 2x per minute Two free clicks per minute was still only a little over 2, 500 extra clicks per day—roughly ten minutes of manual clicking. The question was whether the next button upgrade would rise by one click per minute to give him three extra clicks, or if it would double again to give him four extra clicks. If it doubled each time he bought the upgrade, that would become a seriously overpowered upgrade.

If he bought it ten times, the automatic clicks alone would outpace his current manual speed. Purchased: Upgrade Cradle Porthole created Without a sound, a round black porthole appeared in the curved wall near his head. Beyond it was pure blackness. George tapped on the porthole with his finger, and the glass was ice cold.

"Must be night outside," George said. Click. HA. SURE, GEORGE. IT'S NIGHT OUT. THAT'S IT.

"What is that supposed to mean? If it isn't night, what is it?" Click. THE INK.

"Which is?" Click. NOT JUST YOUR GRANDMA'S NOTHING.

"So the blackness outside my window is nothing—but it's called the Ink? Why would I want a window to nothing?" IF YOU WOULD LIKE A REFUND, I CAN REMOVE THE PORTHOLE, BUT ALL SALES ON HOLES IN THE WALL ARE FINAL. HA HA. Click. YOU'RE NEW HERE, GEORGE, SO I'LL GIVE YOU A FREEBIE. YOU DON'T WANT THE INK IN HERE WITH YOU. NO SIR. NOT ONE BIT.

"I thought you said it was nothing." Click. Click. Click. Click.

"Hello?" Click. YOU'LL FIND OUT EVENTUALLY. Click. UH-OH. LOOKS LIKE YOU'VE GOT A SURPRISE COMING. THIS WASN'T ME. I'M ACTUALLY NOT SURE WHAT HAPPENED HERE. HMM. Purchased: Familiar—Node Spider [Incursion Event!]"No. I bought the user interface upgrade, not the familiar." He clicked the button, but no more text appeared. A small, wet sound came from the other side of the cradle. A ball of black goo trembled on the ground like an egg preparing to hatch.

One needlelike leg pushed out of the black blob and tapped the floor. The mass lurched sideways. Another leg followed. Then another. Soon the thing was unfolding itself—eight spindly limbs dragging a trembling body upright like a newborn fawn. The spider moved discordantly until it flipped itself over, and its legs flailed in the air. There did not seem to be a head to the creature, but bumps protruded and subsided from its sides as it moved as if something was still trying to emerge.

"What the…" George said. At the sound of George's voice, the spider flipped over expertly and went completely still. Two legs stretched forward in George's direction, touched the ground, and then the rest of its body slowly and silently pulled itself forward. George stood and took a slow step backward. He held the blanket in front of him like a shield. The spider was steadily stalking toward him now, holding its body low to the ground and smoothly gliding in his direction.

The gangly awkwardness from moments before was gone.

"Hey. Stay put," George said and shooed his hand at it, but the spider didn't stop. George backed up until his head hit the ceiling as it curved down toward the floor. When it was a few feet in front of him, George dropped the blanket over the spider. He raised his foot to stomp the creature, but it shot toward the foot that was still on the ground and wrapped itself around it. George was so surprised that he fell backward. He kicked at the spider with his free heel, but it didn't budge.

He reached for the button and tried to smash the black creature with it. The spider showed no sign that George's blows were hurting it. If anything, it squeezed more tightly. The surface of the spider's body, which had only seconds ago seemed fluid and squishy, had hardened into a shiny carapace as soon as George had started hitting it.

"Get off me!" George shouted, but panic was taking hold of him, and he went back to kicking it with his free leg. Suddenly, the spider released him and scuttled away almost faster than his eye could track. When it reached the wall, it ran straight up as George tracked it with his eyes. Too late, he realized it had crawled up the curved ceiling until it was directly above his head. It launched itself straight down and landed on his face.

George's hands shot up to his head to block it, but the spider had already latched itself onto his face, wrapping its legs around his skull. It pressed its body against his mouth and nose. A thick tail that hadn't been there a minute ago flailed and slapped at George's hands until he felt it slip itself around his neck and tighten. He tried to scream, but his throat was completely closed. As he opened his mouth, the spider slipped a few of its legs into his mouth and forced his jaw open.

He felt more limbs push their way into his nose and dig painfully into his ears as the creature bent his whole head backward. George was rolling on the ground, but he couldn't shake it off. The spider had caught his hands and was holding them locked tightly against itself. Time seemed to move both fast and slow, and two thoughts played across his screaming mind before he passed out. The first was: This is how I die. The second was anger.

Then, the blackness that had crept in at the sides of his vision swept forward and took him. George wasn't sure how much time passed, but when he woke up again he sat up suddenly, feeling at his face and throat, but the spider was gone. It hurt to swallow, and his neck felt bruised. He coughed, and it came out as a croak. He tentatively lifted up the blanket, but the spider wasn't there either. It wasn't anywhere in the room. He reached for the button and pressed it.

"What happened?" Click. Click. Click. Click. >>George. You don't need to click the button to speak to me. That's the other guy. This book's true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience. The text printed itself onto his vision just like it always did, but it was not all caps and it…felt different.

"Who are you?" George said. >>I am your familiar. Name's Nod. George looked around for the spider again, but the room was still empty.

"Where are you?" >>Well…Where do you think? George let his head slump back onto the ground and said, "You disappeared. Like the other one. You're invisible." >>Swing and a miss. Guess again. He thought about the memory of the yellow tendrils and the way that they disappeared into his bathroom tile after they were done doing…whatever they were doing.

"You absorbed into the room." >>Warmer. George sighed and closed his eyes and didn't say anything. >>Ooookkkayyy. There's good news and bad news. Bad news first. I am in your brain. Actually, there are nodes throughout your body's kelsior points, but most of me is distributed throughout the lining around your brain.

"My what?" George shouted, or he tried to shout, but his bruised throat could only make an ungainly whisper. >>Kelsior points. That's the whole "node" spider thing.

"No…you're in my brain?" >>Yes. Among other places. Actually, I'm pretty much everywhere. But mostly your brain.

"I didn't buy a familiar." >>Fair point. That was me, actually.

"What?" >>Let's call it the luck of the draw. Or bad luck in my case. I mean…wow. You drew the short straw with this button crap.

"Go back. You were the spider?" George asked. >>I still am the spider.

"You choked me." >>In all fairness, you were kicking me at the time. Honestly, if you had been conscious during the integration, it would have been…unpleasant. I had to get in somehow. Node spiders can't live without a host. So…down the hatch.

"The hatch? Do you mean my mouth?" >>And your nose. And… other places. But in my defense, I was basically a kid then. Kids make lots of mistakes. Technically, I am still a kid. More of a precocious teenager, I guess. Live and learn, you know? >>George. I know this is weird for you. I can feel your pulse rising. We got a real cortisol spike going on in here. You need to chill. George was having trouble taking a breath. He swallowed, and his throat felt scratched.

and he thought of the spider clawing its way into his body. >>Whoa. Dude. You are freaking out. Take a breath. Sit down. Oh… you are already sitting. Well, put your head between your legs. George obeyed. He tried to slow down his breathing. His hands were tingling, and his head hurt. >>There you go. Just breathe. In. Out. I'm here for you, buddy. That's it. There ya go. After a minute, George said, "What's the good news?" >>The what?

"You said there was good news." >>Oh yeah. That's easy. The good news is me. I'm on your side. Or you're on mine. Either way. We're on the same side. You were alone, and so was I. Now we're together. I want what you want.

"What do I want?" Maybe that juice box would ease the pain in his throat. >>To get out of here. To get your kid back. To stop clicking that button. To get back at BIG BROTHER. To figure out what the hell is going on out there.

"Nod." >>Yeah, man? What's up?

"I want you to get out of my head. Be the spider again. Just get out of my body. This is too weird." >>Oh bummer. More bad news, I guess. That ship has sort of sailed. When I said "We're together," I meant we're like… together. Node spiders can't de-integrate. It'd be like… real bad. For both of us. George didn't know what to say. He stayed quiet, not wanting to anger the weird spider in his head, so he tried to sort out his thoughts for a minute and then said, "I don't like that, Nod."

>>And I can see how you might feel that way. >>But think about it from my perspective. There I was, just a fragile, foolish little hatchling trying to make his way in the world, and there you were with all that warm biomass you call a body. So near. So inviting. But your body was missing something crucial, something that might help that body stay alive longer than the next 72 hours, something that would certainly give you a leg up and, if we live long enough, might make you a straight-up badass: a node spider.

>>So. I ingressed you. You're welcome. >>Does that make sense? >>George? >>Ok. Cortisol levels are worth a thousand words. >>I get it. You wake up in this room. You're told to press a button. Someone you can't see tortures you and then leaves some gold on the nightstand on the way out without so much as a thank you. And now you have a brain spider. It isn't right, and it isn't fair.

"How do you know those things happened to me?" George said. >>Your experiences since waking up here are written pretty clearly in your recent neural connections…and those connections are basically my body now. >>Annnnnyway, you're right to be angry. I'd be angry too. At least, I would if I didn't understand how lucky I was to have a node spider wrapped around my brain giving it a constant warm, eight-legged hug.

"That is disgusting." >>Other than that rude comment, I think you're taking all this rather well. Granted, you have basically been a lump on a log that just has to push a button. But still, I like your moxie. Plus, your lump-on-a-log days are numbered. Things are about to get real interesting around here.

"What does that mean?" >>Ok. Serious time. The bottom line is you need me. You are losing this game, George. Frankly, you are sucking big time, and your future prospects don't look great. If you don't stop sucking, there are bigger things out there than me that will eat you.

"Time out." George said, "You are eating me?" >>George, my speech is still building to a crescendo. Don't interrupt. Yes, technically I am eating you. A girl's gotta live, you know? But let me reiterate my main point: you need me. >>This whole thing is like a challenge. There are other people out there in other rooms, and I'm pretty sure you are on the low end of the advantage totem pole.

Like, actually, when I said "on the low end," I meant that the guy on the bottom of the totem pole has a rope wrapped around his waist, and at the end of that long rope—there's you. Holding on for dear life and frantically clicking a button. >>You got the shaft big time with this button thing. It isn't like you are in here learning to transform into a werewolf or something, you know… just itching to get out into that big, bad world and do some damage. You are the prey, brother.

>>I know you are eager to get yourself a door and get out of here but actually, you're super lucky there isn't a way out. It means there isn't a way in either. In your case—I mean, our case—that's good news.

"There's a…lot to take in there." >>And, like I said, you're doing a great job getting up to speed.

"So how does having a node spider help me avoid all that?" >>Tons of ways. At my level, I have limited access to a database that gives me some information on the store options, and I can advise you on what to buy. >>We also need to talk about your selection of the crafting skill tree. Not what I would have recommended, but if we can sort out a few things, it could present some advantages. But you need to train. Big time.

>>I can also answer a number of questions for you about your situation, though there is a lot of information I do not have access to yet. >>And that is just for now. If you upgrade me, I'll be able to do even better stuff.

"Such as? >>Such as cool stuff that I will know about after you upgrade me. >>Hey. I appreciate that you have kept clicking that button the whole time we've been talking. It really shows some stick-to-it-iveness that is going to take you far. But I can tell you that you are about to get a level-up. Why don't you throttle back on the clicker and take a breather? >>Integration is hell on the body, and you have been at this for a few hours already. You need some sleep.

That'll help deal with some of this pesky cortisol too, which, I must say, is pretty off the charts. Smells like a neurochemical locker room in here. You need a reset, bro. George stopped clicking the button. >>If you'd like, I can also help you sleep. You up for that?

"You can put me to sleep?" George said. >>Yep. And wake you up too. What good is a brain spider if he can't also double as an alarm clock? >>After you wake up, you'll need some food and water. I can augment your body's normal healing process a bit, but you need sustenance. That means you should buy a few food pellets.

"This is so messed up." >>Yeah. For sure. G'night! Sleep tight. Don't let the brain bugs bite. >>While you are out, I'll just tinker with a thing or two in here and see if we can't get you optimized. Before George could respond, he was asleep.