Chương 29: Logic of Eteria

Elias hopped over a particularly deep crater, his face beaming with the kind of relief you only feel when a literal mountain stops trying to sit on your house. He gestured toward the horizon with a flourish that was surprisingly graceful for a man who spent his days staring at dirt.

"To finalize your noble quest and claim the honors you have rightfully earned, you must present yourselves before the great Monolith of this floor!" Elias proclaimed, his voice ringing out across the quieted meadow.

"But such bureaucratic matters can surely wait for a few heartbeats! First, we must celebrate! My hearth is warm, the ale is cold, and the village will sing your names! Let us return to our homes and feast!" Dimitri let out a hearty laugh that seemed to vibrate through the very air, his massive chest expanding as he looked toward the distant cluster of cottages.

"That sounds like a magnificent plan, my brother Elias!" Dimitri boomed, his accent thick and warm like a bowl of spicy stew.

"To share a meal with friends is to nourish the soul as much as the body! We have weathered the storm together, and now it is time to enjoy the golden rays of the sun!" Without waiting for me to check my own pulse, the duo started trekking back across the ruined landscape. Dimitri walked with a stride that suggested he was ready to conquer three more continents before dinner, while Elias practically skipped beside him, looking like a happy gnome leading a giant toward a pot of gold.

I was left standing there for a second, feeling like the awkward third wheel at a victory parade. I turned my head to take one last look at the remains of the Iron-Ribbed Monarch, expecting to see a permanent monument of gore and iron. Instead, the atmosphere around the massive corpse began to ripple. The creature started to shimmer with a soft, sapphire light, the heavy ribs and mossy flesh turning translucent right before my eyes.

Then, with a gentle pop that sounded like a bubble bursting in a quiet room, the entire mountain of meat exploded into a cloud of glowing blue particles. They drifted upward like magical fireflies, fading into nothingness until the field was completely empty. I realized then that I hadn't even checked to see what happened to the Bovine Crustaceans we had dealt with earlier.

Apparently, this world had a very efficient, very magical janitorial service that didn't like leaving giant monster carcasses lying around to ruin the property value. The terrifying hill of spite and chitin was just gone. No blood, no smell, not even a stray toothpick left behind.

"Well," I muttered, blinking at the empty patch of churned-up dirt.

"This world is officially weird. It's like living in a video game that has a really aggressive auto-delete feature." I gave my head a little shake to make sure my brains weren't as scrambled as they felt, then turned and started jogging to catch up with the Russian sunshine and the happy farmer. ••••• We spent the better part of the noon hour being treated like returning royalty, or at the very least, like people who hadn't just been used as floor mats by a geological disaster.

The author's content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon. The villagers laid out a buffet that would have made a competitive eater weep with joy. The table was practically groaning under the weight of roasted boar and some kind of bizarre hybrid meat that tasted like a confused mix of chicken and deer. I wasn't sure if I was eating a "chick-deer" or a "deeren," but considering I was starving, I decided not to ask for its family tree.

Dimitri was in his absolute element, inhaling portions of meat that would have choked a grizzly bear, all while maintaining a smile so radiant it could have served as a backup generator for the village. He looked like he was having the culinary experience of a lifetime, nodding enthusiastically at every person who walked by with a fresh platter.

I was currently wrestling with a particularly stubborn rib of boar meat, trying to look dignified while covered in grease, when a thought finally managed to fight its way through my food coma. I looked over at Elias, who was watching us with the proud expression of a grandmother on Thanksgiving.

"Hey, Elias, I've got a bit of a weird technical question for you," I said, pausing my munching for a second to point a greasy bone toward the general direction of the battlefield.

"I couldn't help but notice that every time we turn a monster into a memory, they pull a disappearing act and explode into blue glitter. If the local wildlife turns into magic dust the second a player finishes the job, how exactly am I currently eating this delicious, non-glittery steak?" Elias leaned back, stroking his chin with the weathered hand of someone who had explained the mysteries of the universe to confused outsiders many times before.

"Ah, you speak of the sacred decrees of the gods and goddesses who watch over this realm," Elias replied, his voice taking on a respectful, campfire-story tone.

"It is one of the fundamental laws of our world, but it is a rule that applies only to those of your kind. When the players strike down a beast, the world reclaims the form, leaving only the essence behind. However, when we simple inhabitants of Eteria hunt the creatures of the wilds, they remain in our world so that we may fill our bellies and clothe our children. The gods provide for the hunters, but they keep the path tidy for the heroes!"

I sat there for a moment, processing the fact that I was basically living in a world with a selective trash-collection system. It was the kind of logic that sounded absolutely insane if you thought about it for more than five seconds, but in the context of this weird, magical reality, it actually clicked into place.

"Well, that's remarkably convenient," I muttered, taking another massive bite of the chick-deer.

"It's strange, but for some reason, it makes perfect sense. It's nice to know the world has a built-in janitor for us, even if it means I can't personally loot the local grocery store without a middleman." ••••• After several hours of professional-level socializing and enough eating to justify a new pant size, we finally hauled our bloated selves out of the village.

The sun was beginning its dramatic descent toward the horizon, painting everything in shades of orange and gold that made the whole place look like a postcard I'd actually want to buy. We waved back at the crowd of villagers, who were still cheering and treating us like we'd personally invented the concept of safety. I wore a grin so wide it was starting to make my face ache, and the weirdest part was that I didn't even know why I was doing it.

My lips had just decided to go on a solo mission of happiness, and honestly, I wasn't in any hurry to stop them. There was just something about surviving a tectonic tantrum and being paid in high-quality monster meat that really brightened a guy's outlook on life. As Dimitri and I began the long trek back toward the Monolith at the floor's entrance, the world settled into a peaceful, evening hum.

The grass swayed in the twilight breeze, and the air lost that frantic, ozone-heavy bite of magical combat, replacing it with the smell of cooling earth and distant woodsmoke. We had been walking for several minutes, the only sound being the rhythmic crunch of our boots against the path. Dimitri was being unusually quiet, which was a bit of a change of pace from his usual "voice of a thousand trumpets" setting.

I could feel his gaze on me, and when I risked a glance over my shoulder, I found him observing me with a smile so gentle and fatherly it was almost embarrassing. He looked like he was watching a puppy successfully navigate a set of stairs for the first time.