Chương 63: Business

Malakarthor now sat far back in his seat. Was he sulking? Or planning to murder me? Well, perhaps both. I still felt triumphant, standing there in the middle of all those important demons. But I felt embarrassed too, for the moments kept passing and nobody said a word.

"Drizella," Azearothiel finally turned to me.

"As it happens, your presence today helped the committee with a rather difficult debate. But you were not officially summoned. In fact you barged in uninvited, in breach of protocol."

"I— well…" When he put it like that it sounded disrespectful.

"The thing is… I presumed that…"

"What is it that you want?" he cut in, his voice sharp.

"I... I'm in need of a good physician." I said, "I heard that—""Zylil," he called impatiently to the old white-haired woman at his side.

"See to their trouble, and quickly, so that we may continue our meeting without further disturbance."

"Yes," she nodded, and set off at a brisk walk toward one of the many doors at the back of the hall. I hurried after her and signalled my friends to come quickly. We came to a small room with a bed. The walls were covered entirely in bones — every shade of it, from chalk white to a deep smoky brown — and there were cabinets besides, with a great many drawers, all of them labelled in a language that was not French in the slightest.

"Lay him down," she instructed, and Za'rynn gathered the boy up and settled him onto the bed. The old woman took a hollow bone and touched it to Ur's leg in several places, then tapped the bone with a thin metal rod, exactly like the lizard physician had done earlier. Then she took Ur's arm, produced a small sharp yellow bone from her sleeve, and slid it into his vein in one quick movement. Ur's face tightened, but he didn't make a sound. She touched the bone, it glowed faintly, and suddenly Ur was asleep.

Then she went about the room at incredible speed, plucking this bone from the wall and that one from a drawer, in every shade and size, until in a minute she had gathered a dozen of them. Then she began sticking the bones into Ur's leg, swiftly, deep and bloody. I shuddered. He was so little and fragile — it was truly hard to watch.

"Now, be quiet," she ordered once they were all in place. She laid a hand on each of the bones in turn, and each time it glowed faintly and a small crack was heard. She did it again and again, and it turned out a truly horrible sound, like a man grinding his teeth, or some demon dragging his claws down a rock. In less than a quarter of an hour she stopped, all at once. She took up the hollow bone and the metal rod and inspected the leg again.

"Yes…" she said quietly.

"That's that." She pulled all the bones free, and Ur's leg was a bloated, bloody thing. She pressed a flat grey bone over each little wound in turn until the bleeding stopped. Then she took a long bone from the wall, laid it beside him, touched it lightly and whispered something. Like a living snake, the bone came alive, slithering and twining tightly about Ur's leg before going rigid in place — ah, so that was a splint!

"Saw that off in three days," she said, looking at us.

"Then he can walk." She took two bones from the wall, shaped like crutches, and handed them to me.

"He can use these until then."

"Oh… thank you," I said.

"Really. Do we owe you—""If you did," she said, "you couldn't have paid it in three years. Go now, through that door." She gestured to a side door. Za'rynn scooped up the sleeping Ur and held him against her shoulder, and we went.

"A word of advice," Zylil called after us. I turned.

"Azearothiel was forgiving today, especially since you managed to enrage Malakarthor so thoroughly. But do not breach protocol again. Next time, you will be punished severely." I nodded, and remembered it well. When we were out of the palace I could breathe again! By gosh, it was meant to be my day of fun, and instead Malakarthor had me by the throat and I was on trial for my dear life! Oh, and we didn't even get to visit the library… It was late now, and surely closed..

Then I noticed Za'rynn looking at me with a strange smile.

"What?" I asked.

"When I was bored this morning," she said, "I supposed I might find some mild amusement in teasing you. I never dreamed you would be such a riot!"

"I'm glad you enjoyed the show," I said dryly.

"But did you really?" asked Henriette, wide-eyed.

"Kill the Emperor? End the wars?"

"As you heard," I said, "it wasn't exactly me. And I wasn't ending any wars. I simply took revenge on the jerk who sold me to my death, and that jerk simply happened to be Napoleon."

"You look silly, but I shouldn't like to cross you!" Za'rynn gave a sharp laugh.

"Drizella, killer of emperors!"

"Oh, but he really quite deserved what he got!" I said, growing pissed off just thinking about him.

"I would love to find him here in Hell and kill him all over again!"

"You can't." Za'rynn chuckled.

"I think he's in heaven. If he were here I'd have heard of it by now."

"What?!" I said, livid.

"That can't be right! No one deserves hell more than he does!" Za'rynn smiled at me the way one smiles at a toddler.

"It doesn't really work like that. But if it helps, heaven is probably worse than here."

"What? Really?"

"I hear that in some of their cities," she said, "all they have to drink is sweet juice."

"That sounds rather nice, actually," said Henriette.

"It is," said Za'rynn, "for the first few days. After that you begin to crave a simple glass of water. But there's no plain water to be had in cities. To get water, citizens must either buy it on the black market at exorbitant prices or build makeshift stills to distill blueberry juice into water—both of which are strictly illegal under heavenly law."

"That is so messed up!" said Henriette.

"Yes, heaven is a strange place," said Za'rynn.

"You don't know the half of it." So Napoleon might be suffering in heaven after all. I liked that. We came to my home in the evening, and Ur finally woke from the sleeping magic. Za'rynn laid him down gently on the sofa. He looked rather confused, not quite sure where he was. Then he looked down at his leg and stared — he touched the bone splint, and then the leg itself, as though neither quite belonged to him.

"How… how does it feel?" Ur looked at me, then back at his leg. I handed him the crutches.

"Use these for three days," I said.

"Then we take the splint off, and hopefully you can walk." Ur raised his gaze to me again, and there it was — the faintest of smiles on his face. The first I had ever seen from him. I smiled back. For some reason it made me very happy.

"How about dinner?" asked Za'rynn.

"Why don't you ask that nice naked butler of yours to make some?"

"Ah, fine," I said. Dinner in itself was a sound idea; I simply did not recall inviting Za'rynn to tag along.

"Alexy," I said, finding the sleeping butler.

"Dinner for four?" He cursed me in Russian, and then got right to it, and in short order an amazing dinner stood on the table — something roasted, unfamiliar, and beautiful all the same.

"Alexy is good," Za'rynn informed us as we sat and ate.

"He's quite wasted on a simple officer such as yourself. I'm tempted to hire him myself." If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

"If you do," I said, "I will learn that fire-bone magic and set those fancy horns of yours alight!"

"You mean pyrossomancy," Za'rynn smiled, "and horns are not bone, silly. They're keratin. I'm actually learning pyrossomancy these days. It's not as straightforward as it seems, I'll tell you—oh, why isn't Ur touching his food?" I looked, and indeed he was only staring at it. But why? I was sure we were past that by now. Ur climbed down from his chair and limped toward me on the crutches.

"… What?" He produced a table knife again, moving fast. I jumped on instinct, but this time, he offered me the handle. I took it hesitantly. Then, he pushed up his sleeve, exposing his bare forearm, and held it out toward me. He wanted me to cut him. That much was clear. Was this... the only way he knew how to apologize? Was he feeling guilty? He looked me in the eyes and gave a small nod. I think… it was important to him. He was just a small boy with tiny, bony arms, but I cut him still.

A shallow cut, just enough to draw blood. He looked me straight in the eye and didn't even flinch. I took a napkin and tied it firmly round the wound. Only then did Ur limp back to his chair and set about his meal.

"Oh, I think he likes you now," said Za'rynn.

"Can we please not stab one another at dinner anymore!" protested Henriette.

"Ur, if you like someone, a hug is perfectly fine." We finished the food and bid Za'rynn farewell, as she finally took herself off.

"See you tomorrow!" she waved goodbye. No, I definitely won't see her tomorrow. Why would she even say something like that! The next day, after a short breakfast with Henriette and Ur, I headed over to the Justicier headquarters. The strategy room was empty but for Eulalie, who welcomed me with a sharp look.

"Good… morning?" I said.

"Sit." I sat down in front of her, wondering whether I was somehow in trouble.

"I heard about yesterday," she said.

"Well — I think by now most of hell has."

"What, really?" Oh. That did make sense, and I rather thought it was a bad thing.

"Honestly, I don't know what to make of it." She let out a shriek that served a skeleton for a sigh.

"It's a strange and incredible story, but it may well have made you enemies in heaven — and a few here besides."

"Well, there's nothing I can do about that, is there?" I asked, somewhat annoyed.

"Not really, no." It wasn't fair at all! Not only was killing Napoleon a silly thing to be upset over, but the reason they were angry with me was that it had angered heaven — and they were afraid of heaven!

"They're all a pack of cowards!" I said, angry now.

"Azearothiel too! So what if these… Exorcists are powerful? Do we simply let them do as they please? Take care not to anger them? And if that weren't enough, let them slaughter the poor people of the lower city because it's convenient?"

"You… you have never seen an extermination," said Eulalie in a low voice.

"If you had, you wouldn't speak like that. But…" She paused.

"Even so, you're right. We are cowards. We all simply want to live."

"But why is that?" I asked.

"Why… why can't we win? Because they have better weapons?"

"Our bonearms, pyrossomancy and Sepsimancy are useless against their armour," she said.

"Musket fire can injure them, but hitting a flying target is very near impossible. The more exotic magics — lightning, blizzard and the like — are effective, but too few of us possess the power to deploy them at scale. Meanwhile, Exorcists lances cut our armour like butter. Lately they've been fielding combat Halomatons too, capable or precise, devastating musket fire. But for all that, it isn't their greatest advantage over us."

"What is, then?" I asked, leaning in.

"They are united," she said simply, "while we are divided, fighting among ourselves. Heaven knows it well, and meddles in hell's politics — secret deals with this high demon and that one, a quiet word here, a favour there, all to keep us divided." I thought about what she said for a long moment, but I still thought we were cowards.

"Those two reasons are connected," I finally said.

"What do you mean?"

"The reason we're divided against heaven," I said, "is that we're weak. If we could win against them — if one high demon secured a crushing victory — more high demons would join. The others would have hope, and a reason to unite and fight."

"Perhaps," she said.

"But who will be the first? Who is that brave High Demon willing to risk the total annihilation of himself, his city, and his loved ones? You can see the problem here."

"Yes…" I said. I had no solution in mind.

"What we need is a hero." Eulalie looked away.

"Someone of incredible strength. Someone out of a story, who will unite hell and defeat the angels." Then Eulalie looked at me and stretched her hand out toward me, slowly, her fingertips beginning to glow faintly.

"What..." I started to say, and then I felt it. My bones felt suddenly heavy. A crushing weakness spread instantly over my entire body.

"Hey... stop it!" But she did not stop, and I grew weaker, until I couldn't hold myself in the chair and slid out of it onto the floor in a heap. I lay there completely helpless. I could not even speak. Eulalie leaned over and whispered in my ear.

"You are not that hero. You are weaker than me, and I am weaker than the average Exorcist. Please remember it when they come. So that you don't die." Then her fingers stopped glowing and she drew back her hand. Slowly, my strength returned. Oh, she only wanted to make her point. There was no malice in it — but I hated that feeling of weakness. I sat up slowly on the floor. I knew I was weak. It wasn't as if I had meant to go out and fight the angels myself, obviously.

"Come now." Eulalie gave me her hand and helped me back into my chair.

"There was something else I wanted to say to you."

"What's that?" I asked, still a little dizzy from her stupid magic.

"I have never set foot in the living world," she said.

"But I know a great many people there suffer because of the wars. Nobody here cares about such things. I do. And whatever your reasons for killing that evil king, you helped the lives of millions. Drizella, you did something incredible." Put like that… oh, but I was dreadfully bad at receiving compliments. I rather think I was blushing. I think… Cinderella thought like that too. I remembered her talking to the Drizella puppet about how she wanted to help the poor people who suffered because of Napoleon's wars.

When I meet her, I thought, I'll tell her I killed Napoleon, and Cinderella will be proud of me! Or… not, because killing any human being is wrong or something. You can never tell with her.

"Well, enough of that." Eulalie straightened.

"I'm to inform you of your assignment for the day."

"Yes!" I said, listening keenly.

"Unfortunately, we shall have to send you down to the lower city again." My face fell at that, I remembered the paste head people, the reek of the slums.

"Don't worry," she said quickly.

"Nothing like last time. This is simple bodyguard duty."

"Oh, all right," I said. That did sound better.

"We trade in raw crystals with the lower city — they're mined down there, and refined up here into magical items," Eulalie explained.

"Ragn'tatt's people are going down to meet those who run the mines and settle a large contract. You'll accompany them. It is mainly a symbolic gesture to show a Justiciar presence; we aren't expecting any real threat or danger, so you should be perfectly fine on your own."

"Alone?" I asked.

"Without you, or—""Yes," she said.

"As I said, we expect no trouble. But if it's too much, then—""No, it's fine," I said. Of course. I needed to show I could do things on my own.

"Good," Eulalie said.

"Because they actually requested you specifically as the bodyguard."

"Really?"

"Yes. I believe the one Ragn'tatt is sending to negotiate is his niece. You may remember meeting her at that dreadful party. Za'rynn, if I'm not mistaken."

"Ah. Her," I said, narrowing my eyes to slits.

"Yes. I vaguely remember."

"Good," said Eulalie.

"She's on her way to collect you. I trust you'll have a rather more mundane day of it this time." I trusted no such thing. Another tall skeleton Justicier came into the room, and Eulalie gave me a short nod and went to speak with him. Oh, that Za'rynn! What did she want with me? She had stuck to me like a burr on a wool stocking from the moment we met! Gosh, we weren't even friends! Maybe... maybe she was one of those deviant women who went about looking to kiss other girls! Yes, that must be it!

She had set her vile, predatory eyes on me, parading around in her sleazy clothes, showing off entirely too much skin, making sure her long legs and soft lips were always on display. And I am practically a married woman! Well — by the end of the week, at any rate. I went down to the headquarters lobby and found Za'rynn already there, chatting merrily with Lizzy behind the desk and making her laugh besides.

"Hi, Driz!" Za'rynn waved as I came down the stairs.

"You never told Lizzy about the court yesterday! You see, rumours fly, and Lizzy heard the most amusing version of it, in which—""Oh, I don't want to hear it at all!" I said, and pulled Za'rynn along by the hand.

"Come on, let's get this over with."

"Don't say it like that." She laid an unwelcome arm across my shoulders as we walked.

"It's going to be so much fun."

"I somewhat doubt it!" I said, as we made our way down the street.

"Why must you pester me every single day?"

"Mmm, why indeed." Za'rynn laid a thoughtful finger against her lips.

"Perhaps I simply like you." I squinted suspiciously at her.

"Are you... one of those girls who goes after kissing other girls?" Za'rynn chuckled at that, stopped walking and turned to face me.

"Why?" She smiled wide at me.

"Would you like me to kiss you?"

"I… what?" Then she leaned closer, and closer still, until her face was scarcely an inch from mine. Something had gone a little wrong with my breathing, as though it were no longer such a simple business. Za'rynn was very, very close to me.

"I think you do..." she murmured. Then she kissed me — one hand under my jaw, tilting my face to suit her. Her lips were full and warm and they engulfed my own, soft and wet, pulling gently, releasing, catching me again. Then she let my lip slip free of hers and drew back, just an inch.

"Yes," she said softly.

"You liked that." That... this... deviant Za'rynn had me entirely confused! I just stood there, flushed red as a beetroot.

"Though I probably shouldn't kiss you too often." She whispered it in my ear and stepped round behind me, brushing the hair back from my neck as she went.

"You are getting married, after all."

"That… right." I managed it with a cough, the tips of my ears still burning.

"That what was about!"

"Still, I could be your secret paramour."

"That won't be necessary," I finally managed to utter a coherent sentence.

"Thank you very much."

"A shame," she sighed dramatically, and then smoothly continued walking, leaving me standing there.

"Hey — wait." I hurried after her.

"So, you haven't the faintest idea who you're marrying. Am I right?"

"Yes…" I said, and then thought about the way she had said it.

"Wait. Do you… do you know something?"

"Maybe…" she said. We had reached the old wooden shack with the elevator to the lower city inside.

"Wait!" I caught her hand.

"If you know something — well, tell me!"

"I said maybe." She stepped inside and smiled at me.

"Be nice today, and I'll tell you what I know."

"Well, I intended to be nice," I said.

"I want to do my job well, that's all."

"Good," she said. Then she pulled some garment out of her satchel.

"Put this on."

"What? Why?" I held it up by one finger. I think It was… a sleazy sort of garment.

"Do you want lower city people throwing rocks at you?" she asked.

"They don't love Justiciers down there. Besides, you'll look cute in it. Come on, don't take all day about it." I gave her a look, and started changing. And all the while Za'rynn simply stared. What was she looking at? Some girls simply have a smaller chest, which will blossom in its own good time! When I had finished she looked me up and down with that lewd look of hers and that sly smile, then produced a mirror from her satchel and held it up in front of me.

"Oh no!" I shrieked, hugging myself, trying to cover what I could with my hands.

"I simply cannot—""You look lovely!" Za'rynn promised encouragingly.

"You'll turn every head and skull on the street!" Then she shoved me into the wooden frame of the elevator and with one quick motion slotted the small green crystal into place. The whole thing rattled, and down we went.

"I look like a strumpet!" I cried.

"Worse! I look like you!"

"And would that be so terribly dreadful, if you're honest?" She planted a hand on her hip and smiled sweetly.

"But Eulalie said I'm to show a Justicier presence," I protested.

"How are we to walk into a respectable business meeting looking like this?"

"Business meeting?" Za'rynn chuckled.

"Oh no. That would be boring. I have something far more interesting in mind."