Chương 14: Never is Such a Strong Word

Ugh, it's so hot. I peel the blanket off me, smiling happily as the fabric sticks to my damp legs. I've decided I like this repetition thing. I am going to have a great time each repetition. The only thing I need to do is choose what I want to happen!

"I'm sorry if Your Highness objects to an early breakfast," I heard Cinderella calling to Lucifer outside my door. I am going to relax so much today. I will just read my book and wait patiently for Cinderella to bring my porridge and tea. I do love breakfast in bed, after all. It's nice to read quietly…

"CINDERELLA!" my stupid sister and mother shouted. Yes. That happens.

"CINDERELLA! CINDERELLA!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" Cinderella's voice echoed. Honestly, what did I ever do to deserve such a loud, vulgar family? I waited a few more moments before the door swung open and Cinderella stepped in. The window light shone upon her princess-like figure as always, but this time I didn't mind. Truly.

"Good morning, Drizella," Cinderella asked.

"Sleep well?"

"Yes, I did, actually," I said, smiling. I was in a good mood this repetition.

"The most excellent sleep." Cinderella looked at me with wide eyes, utterly taken aback, as if she had never seen me look content before.

"That's good to hear," she said, regaining her smiling composure as she placed the tray on my nightstand.

"Good sleep is very important for your health, you know."

"Yeah, yeah," I said. Then I noticed Cinderella wasn't actually leaving my room.

"Yes?"

"It's just," Cinderella said, "don't you need me to take anything for cleaning or ironing?"

"Nah, I'm good," I said, and she left.

"Good morning, Anastasia," I heard Cinderella say from the adjoining room.

"Well, it's about time! Don't forget the mending. And don't be all day getting it done, either!"

"Yes, Anastasia." Now it was quiet again. I could finally enjoy a nice hot cup of…

"AHHAHH!" I shrieked. The moment I lifted the cup, I saw the fat mouse sitting there. I slammed the cup right back down in a blind panic, trapping the mouse. My heart pounded against my ribs before my brain caught up. Oh, right. I got Gus today! Shoot! I had completely forgotten about the random Gus thing!

"Is everything okay, Drizella?" I heard Cinderella call out from the hall.

"Yes… just… a cricket!" I shouted back. A cricket? Really, Drizella? Okay, it's silly. It's just the fat mouse. I wasn't really afraid of them that much anymore. I lifted the cup again and saw Gus trembling in terror on the plate, practically vibrating. He didn't even run away. What a coward of a mouse! Suzy hadn't shown the slightest fear of me, even when I took her prisoner.

"What are you doing in my teacup!?" I demanded. Even if this random event was supposed to happen, it was still very rude to hide under someone's teacup! Gus trembled some more, lifted his head, and pointed a tiny finger at himself.

"Uh… uh…" he stammered and mumbled.

"You… you mean… ah… Gus-Gus?"

"It's hard to understand you with all that shaking!" I told him.

"I'm not going to eat you, that's disgusting really, so you can just take a moment to calm down."

"Uh... yes…" he stammered.

"C-calm down… Gus-Gus calm down…" He sat back on the saucer and breathed slowly. After about two minutes, he finally stopped trembling.

"So... uh… Gus-Gus can go?" he asked in a much steadier squeak.

"You didn't answer my question," I reminded him coldly.

"Oh…" He scrunched his face, looking like he was trying to think.

"Gus was in the yard… try to get… tasty corn! Yes! But the chickens!"

"The chickens?"

"Big fat chicken!" Gus said angrily, throwing his tiny fist in the air.

"Took all Gus-Gus's corn!"

"Oh, you mean the corn seeds Cinderella feeds the chickens with."

"Zuk-zuk," he nodded.

"Well, that corn is meant for the chickens, not for you!"

"But Cinderelly!" he argued.

"She is very nice. She gave Gus-Gus corn!"

"Yes, I see. But what are you doing in my teacup?" I clarified. He was clearly getting off-topic.

"Gus try to take all the corn!" he said, growing animated, and then…

"Luussssiiifer! Fat… ugly… cat… try to catch Gus-Gus! And uh… he couldn't! Gus…"

"You hid in the teacup."

"Y-yes."

"Okay, fine. You can go," I said to him. He turned to leave, then looked at me, took hold of his hat in his hand, and said respectfully, "Uh… thank you. You too are a nice lady!" A fat mouse said I'm nice. What a prideful moment. Gus jumped off the saucer, scrambled down the bedsheets to the floor, and scurried straight under the gap beneath my door. Then, I heard a small thud! And a frantic mouse squeak. Just outside my door. Oh, I needed to check what that was! I just hoped my tea wouldn't get cold.

I yanked the door open, and to my amazement, I saw Lucifer sitting right there! He was pinning something down with his heavy paw. It was obviously a mouse. A Gus mouse. So Lucifer actually knew Gus was in the teacup when Cinderella went up the stairs with the trays. He followed her up, waited to see from which room a scream would be heard, and then simply waited outside the right door to catch the fleeing mouse. This cat was actually not as dumb as he looked!

Lucifer lifted his paw just enough to expose Gus's terrified little face, then lowered his own massive head, jaws parting as if he planned to take a bite right then and there.

"Stop it, Lucifer!" I scolded. Cats ate mice; that was fine, really. But I just had a conversation with the poor creature, and besides, he was bound to leave blood on the carpet.

"Drop him. Now!" Lucifer glared up at me with angry, betrayed eyes, as if I were some big traitor. But other than that, he didn't move an inch to release Gus. Enjoying the story? Show your support by reading it on the official site. Insolent beast. I reached down, grabbed Lucifer by the scruff, and hoisted him off the ground. This allowed Gus to scramble away, running in confused circles for a second until he found a hole in the baseboard and disappeared into the wall.

Lucifer gave me one last hateful look and scrambled off down the hall. Now, back to my porridge and tea! I took a sip. Still somewhat hot. It would have to do. So… where was I? Oh, yes. Making plans for a fun and relaxing repetition. I thought about my options for going out with Josephine. We had already been to the sweet shop and the café, but this small town had more entertainment to offer. We had a small theater.

Today there wouldn't be an evening performance, of course, because of the royal ball, but tomorrow there ought to be one. There were lending libraries—nice, quiet places to sit and borrow books. There were wine shops, though a young lady drinking too much wine would be a scandalous matter. Then there were the men's establishments—card and gaming clubs, billiard rooms where they smoked entirely too much. It looked fun, but perhaps not for me.

There were the promenades and public gardens, but those were mostly for exchanging gossip, displaying new fashions from Paris, and hoping to be courted by handsome young men from important families. I wasn't especially in the mood for any of that. And then there was the beach—a place I don't think I had ever visited. Mostly, people only went to the seaside because a doctor prescribed it for "nervous disorders," skin issues, or "melancholy."

But I had heard people could go simply for fun: to walk on the sand, collect seashells, and, heaven forbid, actually go into the water. I was genuinely curious about that. How would it feel to actually swim in the ocean like a fisherman's brat? With the days repeating, I could try all sorts of weird and even scandalous activities. Oh, there was so much to choose from! By gosh, deciding was exhausting in itself! But I also needed to decide about the ball. I mean, who gets to go.

It was really a simple matter: just take the letter from the messenger and choose who to show it to. I could just send Mother and Anastasia to the ball alone. That way, I would get a break from my annoying sister and mother, enjoy a nice quiet evening, and have the servant girl wait exclusively on me. Then tomorrow, I could hang out with Josephine and try some new places. Yes, I will spend as little time as possible with Mother and Anastasia, I decided. In this repetition, and maybe in all of them!

But what should I do today until the ball? Ah… I will just lazy about in bed and read my book. I liked being lazy, and it appeared I could keep doing it for thousands of years! My door suddenly flew open.

"Drizella!" Mother shouted at me.

"Get ready for your music lesson! And stop lazing about in bed all morning; it is unseemly for a young lady." Oh, sweet heaven above. I am not doing any music lesson, stupid Mother. Besides, I needed to get the ball invitation from the royal messenger. This time, instead of feigning a hoarse voice, I decided to just sneak down to the scullery. Mother and Anastasia never set foot in the servants' quarters, after all, so I would be safe there. I got there and sat at a small wooden table. I wanted something to eat…

maybe some raisins? Oh, no. The mice crawled all over those, touching and sniffing every single one. Speaking of mice, I looked around and spotted the usual bunch. There was Gus, standing with a taller mouse wearing all red. Suzy was there too, along with another female mouse.

"Good morning Gus, Suzy. How have you been?" I asked. Mice or not, I was still well-versed in courtesy and proper manners. Gus turned to me with a happy little smile.

"Uh, is good, lady!" Suzy, however, didn't smile. She looked me straight in the eye and squeaked in a hostile, high-pitched voice, "I… don't like you!" She pointed a tiny finger at me accusingly.

"You are bad people! Don't you talk to me!" I involuntarily grimaced. It felt silly to let it sting—coming from a mouse and all—but from my perspective, we had been friendly. She had liked me just yesterday. I knew how this time repetition worked. I could spend two whole days befriending Suzy, Josephine, or even Cinderella, but with each new repeat, they would just despise me all over again. Or, in Josephine's case, think absolutely nothing of me. And it would probably keep happening.

Every relationship I built, every time I managed to get close to someone, it would inevitably end up being completely one-sided. I will always be alone in this repeating world. It was a depressing thought.

"Drizella, what are you doing down here?" Cinderella asked. She had come around the corner without me noticing.

"It's my house, you know," I said.

"I can be wherever I want!"

"Yes, but why down here?" she asked.

"None of your business, really," I retorted.

"DRIZELLA!" Mother's scream echoed through the halls of the house.

"Come here this instant!"

"Oh, I see," Cinderella smiled knowingly.

"You are ditching Stepmother's music lesson. If so, then this is the perfect hiding place. They are never going to look for you down here!" I gave her a flat look.

"Oh, don't worry," Cinderella said smoothly, turning back to scrub the dishes.

"Your secret is safe with me."

"Good," I said.

"But music lessons are important," added Cinderella after some consideration.

"To be a proper lady of standing, one must possess many refined talents."

"Maybe you are right," I said, narrowing my eyes at her.

"But some simply lack the talent, no matter how many lessons they endure. And others take no lessons at all, yet can sing... well... adequately." Cinderella paused, taking a moment to decipher my compliment.

"Oh, you mean me!" Her smile grew annoyingly wide.

"Why, thank you, Drizella," she said softly.

"And just so you know, during my childhood, when my father was alive, I practiced rigorously. I even had two music tutors. But after… after he passed away, I just kept singing on my own. It helps me, when… when all of this gets to be too much... when I'm sad." She made her smile a sad one. Oh, but we were just talking about her great singing, why did she turn sad all of a sudden? Oh, probably remembering her father. Should I say something nice? I certainly didn't want to, nor did I care about Cinderella.

But manners and such…

"Well, I'm sure…" I started awkwardly.

"Er… your father would be glad… that your singing is… adequate."

"I… I don't know," she murmured, suddenly looking very lost.

"I don't know what my father would think. If… if…" Cinderella suddenly had a small, shining tear welling up in her eye.

"If he could see me like this..." she managed to choke out, gesturing weakly to her ragged servant dress.

"He used to call me his little princess, you know." She hurriedly wiped her eyes with a soot-stained sleeve, but fresh tears were quick to replace the old ones.

"He spoiled me rotten sometimes. Would you believe that?" She let out a small, wet chuckle. Oh, heaven above, how did it come to this? I offer a few polite words, and suddenly she was sobbing into the dishwater, spilling her tragic heart.

"There, there," I said, reaching out awkwardly to pat her shoulder exactly twice. Talking to her was definitely a mistake. Now I was terribly embarrassed. And a little sad, too! Knock, knock, knock! It was the heavy pounding of the royal messenger at the front door. By Jove, I was saved!

"Open in the name of the King!" a voice shouted from outside.

"Should… should I get that?" asked Cinderella, hastily wiping her face and trying to regain her composure.

"I will take care of it," I said quickly, and hurried upstairs to the door. I threw open the door and saw the short, useless messenger.

"An urgent message from His Imperial Majesty," he announced. I snapped the letter from his hand and closed the door in his face. I headed for the stairs, intending to walk up to the music room and hand the letter over to Mother and Anastasia, but halfway there, I froze. I just had the most silly idea. An idea that was bad, and more than anything, one that I didn't see any good reason to do. I sighed. I guess… I can take Cinderella on this one iteration.

I had to admit to myself that I was hating Cinderella a lot less recently. I used to hate her mostly because her sheer, angelic perfection made me feel like absolute dirt myself. But now… jealousy seemed terribly silly. I was entirely in control of her fate now. I could decide if she got punished, if she felt despair, if her dreams were crushed or came true. I was in control of everyone's fate, it seemed. Indeed, petty jealousy was now a laughable thing.

So, I really didn't mind the thought of going to the ball with Cinderella. I preferred her company by far to that of Mother and sister. Besides, I was curious. It would be interesting to see if Cinderella would seduce the prince as easily wearing her mother's dress, and without the witch's help. Oh! And since magic wouldn't be involved, Cinderella wouldn't have to run away like a madwoman at the stroke of midnight. She could actually stay and have fun with the Prince!

She might even get betrothed to him right there this evening. Maybe more stuff will be different. It was fun to change things and see how events unfolded. I marched right back into the scullery and took a seat at the table, crossing my legs.

"Get me some tea, will you?" I asked.

"Yes, Drizella," she said dutifully, pouring a cup. After a moment, she added, "What was that about? I thought I heard something about a message from His Majesty?"

"A trivial matter, really," I said, trying to balance the corner of the envelope on my index finger and failing miserably. If I trained for enough repetitions, could I eventually master that, too?

"Just a ball," I said.

"In honor of His Highness, the Prince." Cinderella stared at me, then down at the thick envelope.

"But you haven't even opened it!" she pointed out, a confused smile on her face.

"How can you possibly know—""And, by royal command," I continued, with blank expression, "every eligible maiden is to attend."

"I don't understand, Drizella." She looked at me with prying eyes.

"That means, even you could come," I explained bluntly.

"Assuming you can manage to fix up your mother's old dress, that is." Cinderella just kept looking at me, then her expression changed to anger.

"Is this some kind of cruel joke, Drizella?" she asked.

"Not at all." I tossed her the sealed letter. She caught it, immediately broke the royal wax, and read the parchment.

"I… but how could you—""I have one condition," I cut in.

"It won't be any fun with Mother and Anastasia tagging along. I don't want them knowing a single thing about this ball. You and I are going alone."

"I… yes. Of course," she breathed, staring at the invitation.

"So what are you waiting for!?" I told her, clapping my hands.

"You can't waste any more time with your silly servant duties. Get upstairs and get on with fixing that dress. We can't order a carriage, so we are going to have to go on foot. And that means we don't have much time before we need to head off." Cinderella started heading out of the scullery, but stopped at the door. Then she turned around, and I saw tears in her eyes again. Good heavens, there were certainly a lot of those today.

"I don't know…" she smiled through watery eyes.

"I don't know why you are being so incredibly nice to me. But thank you, Drizella. I promise, I will never forget this!" Ah. But never is such a strong word.