Chương 24: They See Both Worlds and Feel Nothing

I was excited, I really was. I was going on a secret mission to steal treasures and seduce princes! I didn't have the slightest idea how I was actually going to pull it off, but that minor detail didn't seem to halt my excitement. So now I just stood there with all the silly time loopers, a wide smile stretching across my face. I simply couldn't contain it. Juliette looked at me with a thoughtful expression.

"Yeah… Victor is right. This was a mistake," she said.

"You're obviously too dumb to do anything but get yourself killed. So just forget it."

"I… wh… what?"

"Yes! Too dumb!" repeated Roger.

"Dumb, dumb, dumb," James chimed in.

"No, wait!" I turned to Juliette and caught her hand.

"I need that Journal. And… I may be dumb, but I can be a good time looper!"

"Oh, and why on earth would you think that?" asked Juliette, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, I…" I thought about it. It was true, I realized. I wasn't actually bad at this.

"I've already done it," I said.

"This 'Best Method' thing. I know how to easily get a pistol from an officer's house. I also know how to sneak into the palace garden where the prince will be, with no guards around. And…" I thought some more, "I even know how to sneak past the guards into the inner palace during the ball."

"Wait, are you telling the truth?" asked Juliette. She looked at me intensely.

"Getting in the palace? Finding the prince?" I saw Victor watching me closely, too. Clearly, they had not expected that from me.

"Very true," I nodded, smiling in satisfaction.

"And I did all that without knowing anything about… well, everything." She gave me another measured look, then glanced at Victor, who just shrugged.

"Fine," she said. She turned and walked into another room in the basement, returning shortly after with a thick book. She put on a pair of lorgnette eyeglasses—looking quite silly in them, too—and started flipping through the pages, occasionally tearing some out.

"This… this… maybe that…" she muttered.

"All of those… oh, that's good." She handed me a thick stack of papers.

"B. M. Ps are not the only thing we trade and value. We also trade in G. U. I. —General Useful Information," she explained.

"Important people's habits, treasury routines, guard patrol schedules, military movements, things like that. These are generally helpful pieces of information that can benefit many time loopers in various situations, saving them precious cycles of trial and errors.

"The papers I just gave you are exactly that: G. U. I. about thirty people in the palace, including the prince. Names, hobbies, family status, daily routines. Some even have possible exploits."

"Like… like a secret affair!" I guessed.

"Something like that," Juliette answered dryly.

"There is also a layout of the palace, marking places of interest, including the vaults. You need to memorize it all by the end of today, as those papers will disappear at the end of the cycle."

"That will be really helpful," I said, turning the pages, genuinely impressed.

"Yes, and it's incredibly generous of me to give it to you for free." Juliette nodded to herself.

"Even though you're not of our faction."

"Thank you," I said, and I meant it.

"I will get the family jewelry. You can count on me."

"Look, about that…" Juliette said, glancing toward Victor.

"Let's make things easier for you."

"What do you mean?" I asked. All this information was already going to make things incredibly easy for me.

"It's, er… I don't really expect you to actually pull this off," she admitted.

"Getting the key and robbing the vault..."

"Oh, I will," I said, nodding seriously.

"I will definitely succeed."

"Sure you will…" she sighed.

"But in case you don't, here is what we are going to do. I will give you 8 cycles. In this time, you will try to get the B. M. P. for the royal jewel, but you can also go after simpler things—items that are still valuable but easier to obtain. You can also gather G. U. I. for us. Any important and useful things you learn along the way about key personnel. Write down anything you think could remotely benefit someone, and leave those notes on the table at Widow Clair's house. We will pick them up.

"At the end of the 8th cycle, we'll evaluate the quality of your B. M. P. s and G. U. I. Remember, we value the Journal at 10, 000 francs. So, even if you fail to get the royal jewel from the vault, if you bring us enough combined value through other means, we can still conclude the deal."

"Oh… I see," I said. That was actually quite nice of them.

"And, if you happen to come across knowledge regarding the mysterious Cinderella," Juliette added, a heavy hint in her voice, "let's just say… it will clear you 7, 000 francs. That's two-thirds of the Journal's value."

"I told you I don't know anything about her!" I said, getting a bit angry. Juliette shrugged.

"Anyway, this is the deal. Get enough valuables in time-looper currency, and you get the Journal. Try anything funny, cheat, or mislead us, and you will regret it deeply."

"Fine," I said, looking her dead in the eyes.

"And I won't need 8 cycles to do it, either."

"We will see," she said. Then she turned to Victor.

"How was that? Was I nice and fair enough?"

"Very nice," Victor shrugged.

"But maybe add some funds to help her get started?"

"Oh, very well," Juliette sighed.

"At Widow Clair's library, find the 6th book from the left on the upper row. Behind it is a wooden box containing some gold Louis—about 1, 000 francs worth. You can use it, but only for the duration of your 8-cycle mission. After that… well, it would be considered stealing from us, which you really don't want to do." I blinked.

"Wait, a what now?"

"Oh, 1, 000 francs is just pocket money for us time loopers," Juliette smiled at me.

"You will get used to it." Pocket money you could buy a house with! I smiled despite myself. For 8 cycles, I would practically have an infinite amount of money! I literally had no idea how I could possibly spend it all in two days! I was… I was rich!!

"Eh… yes," Juliette looked at me with genuine worry.

"Listen, time loopers need to… er, work hard. You won't have any time to laze around."

"Y-yes, of course!" I said seriously.

"I will work very hard." At buying absolutely everything! Juliette gave me a measured look, followed by a long sigh.

"Well, we will see how it all goes. I'm probably going to regret this whole thing later…" Oh, she would swallow her words when I presented her with the jewelry, I thought to myself. Maybe next time we met, I'd wear the crown and pendant like a queen just to tease her! I suddenly noticed that James and Roger were engaged in a highly heated debate in their barbaric tongue. They were being incredibly loud about it, too. Good heavens, the English language sounded like someone choking on a potato.

When they finally seemed finished, James gave me a look and suddenly started approaching me. I took an involuntary step back. English people tended to bite, didn't they? Well, I wasn't going to ask and look stupid, obviously. James stopped in front of me, maintaining a smug smile. He presented both his hands to me, palms down, then slowly turned them over. English men were so weird! Was this how they said hello? Was I supposed to do the same? Then, swifty, his right hand darted out and reached behind my left ear.

When he pulled his hand back, he was holding a beautiful, perfectly bloomed red rose. Ah, a magic trick! I smiled, clapping my hands in applause. So that was why he showed me his empty hands first! James offered me the rose, and I smiled in appreciation.

"Why, thank you!" He raised one finger, gesturing for me to wait. He wanted to show me something more. Another magic trick? He walked to the back of the room, where some plates with leftovers were lying around in a messy pile. He returned holding what looked like a small chicken bone. He raised it up high so I could see it clearly. Then, he stared at the bone intensely, squeezing his eyes in concentration. For a few moments, nothing happened. Then, a small, seething hiss came from the bone.

Suddenly, it burst into flames! A bright blue fire erupted, completely engulfing the top half of the bone. It burned intensely for a few moments until the fire finally died out, leaving the top of the bone a blackened crisp. My smile vanished. This wasn't a nice magic trick at all; it seriously creeped me out. James still looked smug, waiting for praise, but I didn't applaud. I liked the flower magic much better.

"Thank you, James," Juliette said dryly, "for creeping out our guest." She turned back to me.

"Well, I think we can wrap things up here. You've taken up an awful lot of our time as it is, and you should be on your way. But…" The author's tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon. She glanced around the room, then met my eyes with a heavy sigh.

"Come with me for a moment, will you?" Taking me by the hand, Juliette led me down a narrow hallway into a second basement room. It was suffocatingly small, crammed to the ceiling with towering stacks of books. There was barely enough space for the two of us to stand without bumping elbows.

"Listen, Drizella," Juliette said.

"I like you. I'm not exactly sure why, because you mostly seem like a dumb, annoying and spoiled aristocratic brat. But there is something about you I do like."

"Okay," I blinked. That was hardly a compliment.

"Listen," she went on.

"We told you before not to get involved with us, and you didn't listen. And that's fine, really. But before you really start doing time looper things, you need to hear this. You need to know the hard stuff." I nodded. I had a sinking feeling I knew what this was about.

"We mentioned before that dying as a time looper is bad," she said.

"And even though you've had a mouth full of questions, you haven't asked about that. I'm guessing it's the one thing you really don't want to know." I swallowed. It was true. I really didn't want to know. I had some hints and a general idea, and it petrified me.

"T-tell me," I managed.

"I… I don't like to talk about it either," she admitted, looking away.

"Well, there is a heaven and there is a hell. And we time loopers... are sort of working with the second one." She took a deep breath, and continued.

"I truly don't know much about it, but in hell, there are high demons. Sometimes they get involved in our world using the liaisons, but ultimately, they are the source of the time loop magic. The point is, when you die inside a time loop, you somehow belong to them. Your soul will immediately try to go there." She pointed down at the floorboards.

"But since you are in a time loop, your physical body will inevitably recover when a new cycle start. Your soul, however… will be caught somewhere in between. I've seen people like that. They become hollow husks. They see both worlds, and they feel nothing. They barely move. And when they do, some try to… end themselves, though they mostly fail to do even that. So yes, it is really, really bad. It's even worse if it happens in the middle or beginning of a loop, because—""I get it!"

I stopped her, suddenly realizing I was tearing up.

"Dying is bad. I get it. It's not exactly news to me."

"Some say that even if you die outside the loop," she continued somberly, "even of old age, you may still end up back there. It depends on how much of the time loop you used, maybe... oh, I really don't know this well. But I need to say the little I know. So maybe… you will do the smart thing and…"

"Oh, I'm not nearly smart enough for that," I cut her, managed a smirk.

"And I'm not that… that scared of your demons!" I lied, of course. I was afraid of demons, even if I didn't fully understand what they were. But right now, my mind flashed to Cinderella's cold, hateful look at the start of every cycle, and that scared me too. I would do what I must. I had already decided. Juliette looked at me for a moment, then gave a slow, firm nod of approval. We went back to the main room, and I said my goodbyes to all those silly time loopers.

Then, I was forced to put the humiliating sack back over my head and suffer the indignity of being mounted by Roger, as the dreadful mouse steered me like a rented pony. Thankfully, this time it was a much shorter walk. We ended up in some random alleyway, where he announced that was far enough, jumped off my back, and disappeared into the shadows.

"Finally!" It was Suzy. She popped out of my pocket and scrambled up to my shoulder.

"Wha—!" I shrieked. Honestly, I had totally forgotten she was there.

"So, did you really think those English people had tails like us mice?" Suzy asked, her little head tilting with an annoying smirk.

"No, I didn't!" I stared at her. From all the things that just happened, that was her takeaway?!

"So you're really, really gonna do it?" Suzy squeaked, her whiskers twitching.

"Aren't you scared? I was so scared! I almost screamed when Juliette told you about those demons! I had to cover my mouth not to make a noise!"

"It's silly to be scared of dying… well, more than usual," I remarked, "But yes, I am scared too."

"But you will do it," squeaked Suzy confidently.

"You will bring them the treasure, and you'll get the Journal for Cinderelly!"

"Yes, I will definitely get that Journal for Cinderella." Suzy clasped both her tiny paws together.

"That… will make Cinderelly special. It will help her, right?"

"Yes," I said, thinking about the possibilities.

"She could do amazing things. It's like… she'll have this magic too! And she certainly won't have to put up with mother and sister's constant bullying anymore."

"Then I want to help!" Suzy said, a determined look on her little rodent face.

"I will forget everything tonight, but you just have to remind me tomorrow! And I will help you get those treasures! We mice are very good at sneaking around places! We're good at… taking things without people noticing!" She meant stealing. Yes, they were good at that. And come to think of it, having a sneaking mouse thief was perfect for my mission. As for getting her on board each cycle, I just had to tell her. Suzy believed absolutely everything.

"Thank you, Suzy," I smiled at her.

"You will be a great help!"

"I already did something good!" Suzy beamed at me proudly.

"Oh?" I asked. What could she possibly have done while hiding in my pocket?

"When that awful mouse Roger rode you out, I peeked from your pocket. Now I know exactly where their secret base is! It's realllly simple to find!" Oh, that actually did sound useful!

"Good job, Suzy!" Our next stop was back to Widow Clair's house. We needed to collect our gold, after all. When we arrived, the house was still empty. I dragged a heavy wooden chair over to the towering bookcase and climbed onto it. I scanned the upper left row, counted to the sixth book, shoved it aside, and carefully pulled out a small wooden box. I set it gently on the table and slowly opened the lid. Inside… inside was gold!! I literally stopped breathing for a moment. Fifty solid gold Louis coins!

Worth a total of 1, 000 francs! I just stared at them and blinked, pretty sure I had started sweating.

"Rich…" I mumbled, practically drooling.

"Rich, rich, rich…"

"They are shiny and pretty!" Suzy remarked, peering over the edge of the box.

"Yes… so shiny!" I scooped them all into my pocket gingerly, then we hurried back home, giggling to myself the entire way like a complete madwoman. Well, it wasn't really my money, as I could only use it for the next 8 cycles without being hunted down by assassins. But that highly rational fact didn't matter at all to the primitive, greedy part of my brain that had just seen a massive pile of pure gold. But this… this was even better than normal gold!

Because even if I spent it all today, or threw it in a river, tomorrow morning there would still be fifty shiny gold coins waiting for me! I reached into my pocket and handed Suzy a single golden coin.

"Here. For your trouble."

"Pretty!" Suzy said, appraising it thoughtfully.

"I will show it to Mary and Perla! They will be so jealous!" When we finally got back to the Chateau, we headed straight up the tower to Cinderella's room. The prince was supposed to send a carriage to get her soon, so I knew I didn't have much time with her. I really wanted us to go into town, spend the gold together, and buy her a stunning dress for her meeting with the prince. Mostly, I just wanted to say a proper goodbye, because this version of Cinderella would be gone forever at midnight.

In her room, we saw Cinderella busy at her table, sewing the tiny new dress with Mary beside her. She noticed us coming in and smiled brightly.

"So, how did it all go?" Cinderella asked, looking highly curious.

"They didn't threaten you with weapons again this time, I hope?"

"No, they were actually quite nice this time," I said.

"And we made a deal. I just have to…" I paused. I definitely couldn't say steal in front of Cinderella!

"…make some simple arrangements for them, and they will give me the Journal! Then you can use it and become a time loop assistant!"

"A what now?" she asked, tilting her head.

"It's just what they call it," I explained quickly.

"You can write down what happens each cycle and learn from it. It's not that different from being a time looper like myself. You could do amazing things!"

"Yes!" Suzy chimed in enthusiastically.

"It will be like magic!"

"And look!" I pulled out a handful of the gold coins, practically vibrating with excitement.

"They gave us this!" Suzy jumped onto the table and waddled over to Mary, proudly showing off her own coin.

"Look here! Look here! It's mine!"

"Oh, what will you do with all of this?" Cinderella asked softly.

"It will all disappear at the end of the day." I stared at her in shock. This was gold! Pure gold! How could she say something so dismissive?

"I thought we could go to town!" I insisted.

"I mean, we have about two hours before the carriage the prince sent arrives for you. We could buy you a beautiful dress!"

"Thank you, Drizella, that is very thoughtful of you." She smiled to herself, her hands still busily sewing the tiny mouse dress.

"But I actually thought about not going to see the prince. I mean… I want to, but if it will only last until the day ends, what is the point?"

"Oh no," I said firmly, grabbing her hands to stop her sewing.

"You should definitely go. Even… even if it's just for a few hours, he's a prince! And… you like him."

"You are sweet, Drizella," she said softly. And I thought to myself, Yeah. Maybe I am. I waited for Cinderella to finish Mary's dress, and then we headed out. We practically skipped to the most expensive boutique in town. We spent an hour just laughing, trying on ridiculous hats, and twirling in luxurious fabrics we'd normally never dare to touch. When she finally stepped out of the dressing room in the dress, I gasped. It didn't look overly loud or gaudy; in fact, it looked deceptively simple.

But it was daring, cut from a rich, midnight-blue silk that hugged her perfectly. It was extremely expensive, and honestly could easily rival the magical gown from the Fairy Godmother. When the Prince sees her in this, he just might faint. Afterward, Cinderella insisted we visit the simple, peasant bakery for her favorite fruit tart. The place was dusty and cramped compared to the boutique, but I had to admit, the baked goods were heavenly, and sitting there eating with her made it the best place in the world.

"I love this fruit tart so much," said Cinderella, her mouth completely full and a blissful expression on her face.

"Yeah, it's really nice."

"I'll forget all of this," Cinderella said, her smile faltering.

"But even so… right now, it's real."

"What do you mean?"

"It's what you told me Juliette said about the soul," she explained softly.

"At midnight, the world resets, but the soul doesn't. That's why time loops exist at all. So maybe, even if my mind forgets today, my soul remembers."

"Maybe," I said slowly. If she couldn't remember it, what good was it? Cinderella looked down at her half-eaten tart.

"And even if I forget... you will remember. That has to count for something. My happiness right now, the fun we had—it's all real. This matters, Drizella."

"Yes, maybe," I murmured. I know it's real, I thought. That's exactly why it hurts so much to lose it. We got back to the house and saw the royal carriage waiting outside. It had probably been waiting for quite some time. We said our goodbyes. I got a long, tight hug and a warm kiss on the cheek, and then Cinderella was off to see her prince. The soul remembers, eh… whatever that meant. I retreated to my room, pleasantly surprised I hadn't run into Mother or my sister, and threw myself onto my bed.

I pulled out the stack of G. U. I. pages Juliette had given me. At midnight, all of this would disappear. And it was important information, meaning I had to know every single word by heart before the cycle ended. This… this was like… studying. Ugh. I forced myself to read through the dense pages. This guard patrols at noon, that guard sleeps on duty, the finance ministry meets on Tuesdays… palace layout blueprints… boring, boring, boring. Oh, here was a section on the prince! But that was boring, too!

I wanted juicy gossip, but instead, I got rows and rows of endless descriptions about his daily activities, mundane diplomatic meetings, carriage trips from the last few months, and his exact dietary preferences. I glanced longingly at the bedside table, were Volume 7 of The Scandalous Adventures of Fifi LaRousse sat waiting for me. I wanted so desperately to read about how Fifi Infiltrated the Spanish Inquisition, and then seduced Alejandro, a sleek matador with skin the color of polished olive jade.

But I resisted. I would read through every single page of this G. U. I.! For perhaps the first time in my entire life, I was genuinely serious about something. These boring details might be the difference between success and failure in my mission! It took the rest of the day, but I read it all. A couple of times, actually, suffering horribly through all the mind-numbing logistics. I even summarized the key knowledge on blank pages and tried to commit them to memory, repeating them out loud.

I lay in bed after reading, closing my eyes and thinking of every guard, every minister, and especially the prince. I had to remember it! I looked out the window. It was pitch dark. In a few hours, a new cycle would begin, and Cinderella would despise me all over again. It hurt, and I felt a heavy sadness settling in my chest just thinking about it. But I didn't cry this time. Because this time, I was actually going to do something about it!

I would steal the treasury jewels, buy the Journal, and Cinderella would be with me in the time loop. She would be my time loop assistant, she would be my friend, and together we were going to have a really fun time loop adventure! I read until the room started to spin, the words blurring together on the page, and eventually, everything went black.