Chương 56: Good Freedom

I woke early, and the first thing I did was drag Charlotte and Henriette into my room. I hadn't been ready for every single one of my demands to be accepted just like that, and I was in urgent need of opinions. They came and sat on my bed beside me, and I told them everything.

"Congratulations," said Henriette, flatly.

"Congratulations?" said Charlotte, surprised.

"Congratulations!" said Eleanor, who had apparently been listening at the door, and now barged in beaming.

"Have you given a single thought to what you'll be wearing? Oh, dear, you haven't the faintest, have you. Right. We begin at the top. Theme — every proper wedding wants a theme, something with a bit of grandeur about it, none of this rustic business. Flowers are frightfully dear down here, so we shan't bother with flowers at all; we'll do crystals instead, banks and banks of them, and they must be matched to the dress or the whole affair looks a fright.

And one doesn't leave the ring to the groom, not in decent society, one simply doesn't—""Stop talking, Eleanor!" I said.

"That is not the sort of consultation I need."

"Seating arrangements, then?" she offered.

"One misplaced marquess and the entire evening is ruined."

"It's all happening too fast!" I complained.

"And I didn't know Azearothiel would just agree to everything. Now I feel stupid for not asking for more, like — magic things. Or a duchess-ship. Or a husband who's an actual prince!"

"So you'd really marry a man you've never met?" said Charlotte, "on nothing but his looks, his title and his money?"

"Yes!" I said, "What's wrong with that?"

"That is perfectly normal, darling," Eleanor nodded approvingly.

"A title and a sturdy vault are the foundation of any respectable marriage. Well, So long as you go into it with your eyes open."

"Wait!" My hand flew to my mouth.

"Do you think Azearothiel might cheat me? What if I get to the altar and find out my new husband is old and ugly?" Henriette gave me a flat stare.

"That is exactly why you get to know them before agreeing to marry them!"

"I've heard contracts in hell carry real weight," said Charlotte.

"So if you agreed on 'handsome,' he ought to be at least that." Oh, but what if he's old? What if he's thirty? What if he's older than that!?

"And if he does hold up his end," said Henriette, "then it'll be wonderful. Drizella will have piles of money, and free time to come and visit us, and she'll be a Liaison and get to walk about in the living world." What if he's in his late thirties? That's far, far too old for me!

"We're... we're all going to miss you," said Charlotte, putting a hand on my shoulder.

"Working the farm won't be the same." And what if he's forty? He couldn't be. Nobody at forty can be considered handsome, can they? Oh, I absolutely cannot marry someone that old.

"No more Fifi stories," said Eleanor quietly.

"Hey, she said she'd come and visit!" said Charlotte.

"I... I think I need to call that Zsanareth again," I said, low.

"Just to make sure." Screee — ee — ee. A long, ringing screech rolled through the cavern. That was Marguerite, and that was her happy call.

"I guess your cat's arrived," said Henriette, smiling.

"Marguerite's really taken a fancy to him."

"Already?" We all went out to the outer cavern to see Lucifer.

"KITTY!" Henriette shrieked, and rushed at the horned panther monster, and in one quick movement swung up onto his horn and over onto his back, where she set about scratching and petting him thoroughly. Marguerite came close too, and stroked him slowly with one hesitant tentacle. Lucifer looked resigned. I walked over, and sure enough, there was a parchment scroll in his mouth — my contract. I put out my hand and he dropped it. Soaked through with drool. Gross. I unrolled it.

Heavy gold-edged parchment, with a border of curling vines and little crowned skulls stamped along the margins, and a ribbon and seal at the bottom. The words were written in swirling gold letters. The lines themselves were oddly plain. Contract with Drizella. Terms: Good salary Good freedom Good marriage Handsome husband Liaison duty No dish-washing duty And a golden mark of a three-horned skull, which I assumed was Azearothiel's signature. That was it? Liaison counted as a duty? I supposed it did. And...

good freedom? And why didn't it say anything about my side of the deal? Did that mean the contract was for... all of me? My soul? Eternal servitude? This was a suspicious contract.

"This... looks silly," said Charlotte, who was reading over my shoulder.

"I mean, I'm no lawyer..."

"I'll just call Zsanareth again," I sighed.

"He can tell me what I'm supposed to make of it."

"Do you trust him?"

"... Yes?" I said.

"He's annoying to deal with, but my instincts say he's on my side."

"All right then," said Charlotte.

"I'll go to the kitchen and fetch the dried fish-monster Lucifer likes." I went back inside to my room and got out the call doll. Oh, shoot. Now I had to prick my thumb again. The drop of blood soaked into the tiny skull, and then the little empty eye sockets lit up.

"Hello! Hello! Hey!" I shouted, until I heard his voice.

"What — what is this?" the grumpy voice said.

"Go away!"

"It's the insufferable fool with the cat," I said flatly.

"Oh, is it now." He grunted.

"You got what you wanted. What are you pestering me for?"

"I got the contract," I explained, "but I'm not sure what to make of it." I read him the whole thing.

"Do you take me for a lawyer?" he said quietly, and this time there was something in his voice that was actually anger. I think I need a different approach here.

"Oh, please, please, sir," I said, in my sweetest voice.

"I'm simply lost and I've no one else to turn to, and you're so clever, and so — well, so experienced, and they all say you're the finest in hell, so I beg of you, sir." Cheap flattery. It was my go-to move with difficult old men.

"This is a good contract for you," he finally grunted, after a long pause.

"You should sign. If you don't, everything gets worse for you. And then don't expect any favors from me."

"So... Azearothiel," I began, "he really has to honor it?" Zsanareth grunted and sighed at the same time, somehow.

"Yes, yes. It's hard to explain, but the contract is binding, and even a high demon can land himself in trouble if he stretches these things too far."

"I see," I said.

"And... I noticed there's nothing in there about my side of it. Does that mean he gets my soul? For eternity?"

"What? No." said Zsanareth.

"It's just his way of showing off, because he's an arrogant fool. It means you're nothing compared to him, that you're entirely at his mercy, and that he doesn't need anything legal to hold you to your word. The contract is for your benefit and no one else's."

"Oh. That's good, I think." So he won't own my soul forever.

"Hey! I completely forgot to write in how long the contract runs. Oh, I should have thought of that. Is it — is it forever?"

"That's not actually a problem," said Zsanareth.

"You work for him until you're powerful enough that stopping you from leaving isn't worth the effort." Oh. That... made some weird sort of sense, I guess. But could I really grow that powerful? Never mind that. I had one last important matter to settle, and Zsanareth was in a chatty mood now anyway.

"I can't marry someone old!" I blurted.

"If my husband is more than thirty, that could be a problem. But all I demanded was handsome, not young, so you see!"

"Look. I'm 415 years old and I'm handsome," he growled, in that coarse voice.

"Nothing wrong with an experienced man. Anyone under two hundred is a snotty-nosed brat, really."

"Two hundred?!" My mouth fell open.

"Oh no!" A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

"Look," he said, in a calmer tone now, "as I understand it, Azearothiel found it easy to arrange you a good marriage, because of your bloodline. And a good marriage means status and power, and in hell that's what matters most."

"I suppose so," I said. Zsanareth did have a way of making me see the bright side of things. I sighed. I'd just have to hope for the best. And maybe there was some magic potion that could make a husband look twenty-four, which is the proper age for a husband of mine.

"Thank you," I said.

"You... you really did help me a great deal, and you didn't have to."

"I know!" he agreed.

"All the more so, since you're a relative, and I especially despise my relatives."

"Relative?"

"On your father's side," he said.

"Insufferable individual, that one. That's the reason your family got to keep my cat in the first place."

"My... my father?"

"Ohhh." He grunted and sighed.

"This talk has got boring. I'm going back to bone snailing. Don't call me again!" C-click — pero. Father? Bone snailing? Oh, talking to him is always like this! Fine. I'll sign the damn contract. I went to the library, took a pen from the jar on the desk, and signed my name. Sure enough, the letters shone and etched themselves into the paper in gold, until my signature looked as ridiculous and demonic as Azearothiel's. Stupid magic contract. It was stressful and I didn't like it one bit.

I rolled the scroll back up and went outside to hand it to Lucifer. He was in the middle of his meal, so of course he made me stand there and wait like an idiot. When he'd finished, he snatched the contract in his mouth and, without a moment's pause, turned around and shot off down the tunnel… with Henriette still on his back!

"Weeeee!" shouted Henriette, gripping a horn and grinning, clearly with no grasp whatsoever of the severity of her situation.

"Hey! Wait! Lucifer, stop!" I shouted after them, but they had already vanished around the bend.

"Oh no," said Charlotte.

"This — this is bad." Stupid Lucifer. Stupid Henriette. And I'm the one who'll be in trouble with Estelle now! Oh, what do I do? What can I even do?

"Should we... tell someone?" asked Charlotte.

"Ah — wait. Maybe that won't be necessary," I said.

"I mean, Lucifer likes Henriette. We can probably count on him. Maybe."

"Maybe?" said Charlotte.

"That is a panther monster. Which you described, personally, as a mean and spiteful creature."

"Well," I said, "he seems better natured down here in hell. And he's just eaten, which improves his mood enormously. Look — even Marguerite doesn't seem worried." Marguerite shifted one leg, slightly.

"Marguerite," said Charlotte, nodding seriously, "is not a good judge of character."

"But there isn't much we can do, is there?" I said.

"And... I have a feeling they'll be back soon. Everything to do with this cursed contract has been happening at ridiculous speed."

"I don't like it." Charlotte folded her arms.

"We wait one hour. Then we get everyone and make a search party."

"Okay," I said. I was a bit worried too. Oh, I was going to throttle that stupid cat, monster or not. So we waited. Charlotte sat on a rock with her arms folded and watched the tunnel mouth. I paced, rehearsing the explanation I'd be giving Estelle. It was a very good explanation. In it, none of this was my fault. We didn't get the full hour. The rumbling started so low I felt it in my feet before I heard it, and grew until it filled the whole cavern. Something big was coming, and it wasn't Lucifer.

I looked to the far end of the cavern, half expecting a giant monster, and instead there was light. Yellow, and impossibly bright. I took a few steps back without meaning to. Even Marguerite looked frightened; she bared her fangs and hissed.

"What now..." Charlotte mumbled, tremor in her voice. As it drew closer it blinded us completely, and we shielded our eyes — but then the light dimmed, and we saw what stood before us. Five flat slabs of white bone, each hovering a foot above the ground, linked one behind the other like carriages. Purple and orange crystals were set into their sides, glowing dim. Two figures stood on each slab. On the first slab was a tall blond man, broad-built, with a moustache, handsome in an obvious sort of way.

And beside him a female skeleton. Or rather, a skeleton doing her best to look female: she wore a dark blue gown with an ornate silver collar, a long blue wig with a red ribbon set on top, and she carried a wand tipped with a green crystal. Behind the two of them, peeking out and grinning enormously, was a small human girl. Yes. That was our missing teenager. The other four slabs carried eight more between them: lizard-folk, horned men and women, skeletons, a couple of humans — soldiers, every one.

Some carried wands with crystals or bones lashed to them, some carried muskets of the newest make, a few carried both. Every one of them wore a white armband bearing a red three-horned skull inside a circle — two horns curving up from the crown, and a third jutting downward from the jaw. When they got close enough, Henriette jumped down and ran at us.

"Wow!" she cried.

"You won't believe what happened to me!"

"You had fun, I take it," I said, unamused.

"YES!" she burst out.

"Lucifer went so fast I nearly fell off twice, and people just threw themselves out of the way, and one man dropped his whole basket, and Lucifer knew exactly where he was going the whole time, and then we were outside!" She took a long breath.

"Do you get it?" she panted." Outside! It's been more than a year for me. I forgot how — how vast it all is! And the light! I couldn't see a thing at first, everything was far too bright, and not far off they were waiting for us." She pointed at them.

"And they let me ride on the vertebus!" She pointed at the hovering things.

"Do you get the name? like Vertebra and omnibus!"

"I... I get it."

"And the vertebus is sooo fast, even faster than Lucifer, I thought I was going to die the whole way!"

"Okay!" I said.

"I get it, you had fun. Just tell me — are these people here to take me?"

"Oh." Henriette's face fell all at once, still flushed and out of breath, as the understanding caught up with her.

"Yes. I... sorry." The blond man stepped down and came over. He stopped a little too close and put out his hand.

"Augustin," he said.

"Captain of Azearothiel's guard. We'll be working closely from now on." I shook it hesitantly. It was all still happening far too fast for me to feel comfortable.

"This is Eulalie." He gestured at the skeleton woman.

"My second." She nodded and smiled. Wait. Smiled? She had done something with her jaw. It might have been a smile. Oh, these skeleton people were tiring to deal with. Then Marguerite came along, having stopped being afraid and decided to be curious again. She crept slowly toward Eulalie, who took a step back and stared at her with glowing blue eye sockets.

"I'd rather swing!" said Marguerite, in the cheerful voice of a young woman.

"I'll swing and I'll slide, and I'll bet I could do just that the whole damn day!"

"Don't you dare!" shrieked Eulalie, in an icy skeleton voice.

"Don't you dare speak in her voice!" She lifted her wand, which began to glow a faint green, but Augustin put a hand in front of her at once.

"It's a mimic-many-tongued," he said calmly.

"It's what they do."

"Oh, Marguerite!" said Henriette, tugging one of her tentacles.

"You always make trouble for us with newcomers. Control yourself."

"She's not dangerous," I added.

"Extremely so."

"Hey, shortie!" Marguerite turned to Augustin, in the voice of a young man now.

"Wipe that dumb look off your face. You know I love you, right?" Marguerite had never once read a room in her life. But where Eulalie had gone rigid, Augustin only smiled.

"My older brother," he said, and something in his voice went soft.

"A perfect imitation. We used to fight all the time. I miss him terribly." Then Marguerite turned to me.

"Why, what a lovely bunch," she said, in Cinderella's bright, sunny voice "I simply know we're all going to be the best of friends." Wait — could Marguerite understand what was happening? Had she realized I'd have to leave with these people, and decided to speak with them — with that strange, mind-reading mimicry of hers — to size them up? To make sure I'd be in good company, because she was worried for me? I wasn't sure. But I touched one of her tentacles.

"Thank you," I said warmly.

"When I come to visit, I'll sure to bring you a dress in the very latest fashion from the big city."

"We should go," Augustin said to me.

"Are you ready?"

"Not at all!" I said.

"I haven't said goodbye to anyone yet."

"Then it seems now is your chance," he said, and looked over my shoulder. When I followed his gaze, I saw that every last one of my cave friends had gathered. Looking at all of them, something pinched under my ribs, and the sadness came down on me all at once. For months they had been my family. I thought about Charlotte and Henriette, who had become close friends. Even Armand and Estelle. Even that lizard. I suddenly felt very lonely and very sad.

But then they came toward me, and one by one we hugged and held hands, and they said encouraging things and funny things, and promised I would never be alone. When Eleanor came, she hugged me so hard and cried such an awful lot that she got my whole dress wet. It went on and on, until I had to gently push her off and untangle her tail from my leg. Then Charlotte came. She looked hesitant, and wouldn't meet my eyes.

"I... I never had someone like you before." She swept a small tear from the corner of her eye.

"And it wasn't even for that long. You dumb gorilla, who's going to haul the big boulders out of the ground now?"

"I'll teach you the technique," I said, with sad smile.

"You know. The secret's in the wrist." Then Charlotte hugged me tight.

"Visit often!" she said.

"Or I'll come and beat up your high demon boss and snatch you back."

"Sure," I said, wiping away a tear. Oh, I'm not usually this soppy.

"You won't even notice I was gone." We held on for a long time. And when she finally let go, I saw Armand watching me with an expression I couldn't quite name.

"Will you walk with me?" the old man asked. We went along the streamlet, away from the others, our feet crunching on the pale gravel, until the noise of the group faded behind us.

"I took you for a spoiled brat when I first saw you," Armand said.

"But you turned out hardworking, and well liked by our little group."

"I like it here a lot," I said, and then chuckled. Hardworking, me? I only helped at the farm to get out of washing dirty dishes. Armand smiled back at me.

"Before you go, there's something important I have to tell you."

"Oh? What is it?"

"Estelle and I lived in a high demon city once." His expression turned grave.

"We tell most people we came here because we didn't like how things were in the big city. But there's a lot more to it than we let on." I looked into his eyes. Was that fear in them?

"Every few years… the angels come." When he said it, his voice dropped to a whisper.

"What now?"

"They call themselves exorcists," he went on.

"They call us the damned. They come down to the large cities to judge whether we are suffering enough for our sins, whether the natural order has been satisfied.

"But the truth of it, as I heard it, is that they're worried about our numbers. Afraid we'll grow too many and too strong. Or perhaps they simply enjoy it. Either way, when they come, the slaughter begins. Hundreds die in a city. Sometimes thousands. They call it an extermination event." I put my hand to my mouth.

"That's horrible!"

"But they don't come for everyone in a city," he said.

"Ironically, it's mostly the poor — the ones already struggling to get through the day — who end up the victims. Perhaps the angels don't want established people who'd put up a fight. Perhaps there's an arrangement with the rich, with the nobles. I honestly don't know. But as it is, it's always the poor quarters that get the worst of it."

"But I don't understand," I said.

"Why do the demons let it happen? The high demons — they're so powerful, they have incredible magic. I've seen them fight!"

"Because the exorcists are more powerful still." Armand's voice didn't rise at all, and somehow that was worse.

"It has been this way as long as I can remember. Heaven has better magic. Better firearms. And heaven is united. Every uprising in the last few hundred years has ended the same way. Hell's absolute, crushing defeat." I wasn't ready for it, and I found myself wiping away another tear. I had only just managed to convince myself that everything would be all right, that I might have something like a normal life ahead of me, and then Armand hit me with this awful new reality.

Now, more than ever, I simply wanted to stay right here in the caves.

"The fear of it, the not knowing when the next raid will come," he continued, looking off into the distance, "that's what broke me. I couldn't stand it. I'd rather take my chances here. And the truth is, it turned out far better than I ever dared dream." Armand looked me in the eyes.

"As I understand it," he said, "you'll be an important servant to Azearothiel. That makes you something like a noble in that city. You yourself won't be at any risk from the angels." Oh, that's right. I'll be a noble, so the angels won't kill me. Yes. That was good.

"But I know you have a good heart," Armand said, putting a fatherly hand on my shoulder, "and that's why I have to warn you. You must stay out of this. You must play their game. If you try to be the hero, you'll simply vanish. You're going somewhere dangerous — far more dangerous than here — and you must be vigilant. I've lost a great many people over the years, so..."

"I'll be careful," I said.

"I won't fight any angels, I promise." I was dumb, but I wasn't that dumb. I wasn't about to risk my neck being some silly hero. What was I, Cinderella? Armand nodded, but he looked a bit sceptical. Oh, what? Did he really think I'd risk myself to help some poor soul? Don't they know how selfish I am? Really.

"Well," he said at last, "I hope, even after everything I've told you, that things go well for you up there. And if fate allows it — remember, you always have a place among us." I hugged Armand then. He was old and smelly, but he had always been kind to me, and I would miss him too. We walked back and rejoined the others. I smiled at everybody, and nobody asked what we'd been talking about, which was just as well, because I had already decided not to think about it.