Chương 39: Scared

I'm going to die and I know it. No matter how much I scream and shout, there would be no one to rescue me. My mind could barely work and my vision was blurry. Droplets of water fell onto the dirt beneath me, some landing on my skirt and legs. It was a reality that I've been ignoring. Consciously or unconsciously, I don't know. But, this is the tower. There's no tutorial, there's no free floors. The tower doesn't cater to people, it simply follows its own rules and logic.

And now, I'm paying the price for my arrogance. I had thought that these first ten floors would be simple… Easy—just throw a dynokali potion and be done with it. Really… I'm so stupid. [Hobgoblin spawning in 4: 17]"Ah… Ah…" I let out barely audible sounds. I don't want to die. I want to live. Please, someone… I need help. With a half-working mind, I reached for anything that could help me. My first instinct was the gallery. Could they help me?

[PLAESE HPEL IM GIONING TO DIE] Author: BinLover HEALP PLEASE WHAT DI I DO THE TWOER TOOK WAY MY POTINS AND DGGER IM GOING TO DIE HBGBLIN COMING I HAVE NOTHING ORRY IM SORRY goodbye thank you fr vrything I posted it but immediately closed the gallery after. They couldn't help me. They don't even exist in the same dimension as I do. I sniffled. I didn't mean to post it like I did. Mid-way through writing I realized that it was worthless and just ended up saying goodbye. They were friends too.

Even if brief, I wanted to at least thank them for all the help they gave me.

"Ugh…" I let out through deep, heavy breaths. Snot ran down my nose and I could barely see my shaking hands. I'm really going to die. [Hobgoblin spawning in 3: 46] I haven't done even a sliver of the stuff I want to do yet.

"No…No…" My nails dug into my thighs. And there's so much stuff I won't be able to do anymore.

"Sorry…I'm sorry." I'll never be able to make potions again. I'll never be able to cook again. I'll never be able to take baths again. [Hobgoblin spawning in 3: 22] Is there anything I can do to survive? Looking up, everything was blurry. No, there's nothing. I'll never be able to play games again. I'll never be able to…

"I'm sorry…" The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident. I'll never be able to see Mouse…Luna…again. I told her I'd cook for her any time. I told her I'd play games together whenever. I told her I want to hang out again soon. But 'any time' and 'soon' will never come again.

"I'm sorry…" This is my own fault. My own choices led me here. [Hobgoblin spawning in 2: 25] Now, there's nothing I can do but accept it.

"…" But I don't want to accept it. I want to live, I want to play games again, I want to cook again, I want to take baths everyday, I want to take selfies in cute outfits, I want to brew potions, I want to have fun with my alchemy friends, I want to see Luna again. But…There's nothing I can do. I can't fight a hobgoblin. Especially not barehanded. I'll be ripped apart limb by limb. I'm weak. I'm scared. I'm going to die. But, I don't want to. Yet, I have no choice but to. Sniffling, I lay my head on my knees.

"I want to see Luna again…" I mumbled, "I want to cook for her, I want to play games with her. I want to take photos with her." I suspected that just as I only had Luna, she only had me. I've never seen her talking about other friends or anything. But, because of my stupidness, we're both about to lose someone important. I can only apologize.

"I'm sorry…" [Hobgoblin spawning in 1: 17] Without my potions, I really am nothing.

"I'm sorry…" I sniffled. I want to lay down in my bed again. I want to fall asleep again. I want to wake up to 'good morning' texts from Luna. I want to send her 'good night' texts. I want to steal her blanket and pillow. I…

"I want to go home…" [Will you forfeit this attempt?] [Y/N]"I want to go home…" I couldn't see the screen.

"I want to go home…" I repeated in despair. [Confirmed.] [Forfeiting attempt.] … The Alchemist Gallery was working as usual when a new post appeared. It was a post by their newbie—a beginner alchemist who started just a few months ago. However, it didn't seem like a usual post. Rather, based on the title alone, members of the gallery could tell it was posted in a panic and hurriedly clicked on the post with anxious hearts.

[PLAESE HPEL IM GIONING TO DIE] Author: BinLover HEALP PLEASE WHAT DI I DO THE TWOER TOOK WAY MY POTINS AND DGGER IM GOING TO DIE HBGBLIN COMING I HAVE NOTHING ORRY IM SORRY goodbye thank you fr vrything And, just as they expected, it was not their usual lighthearted post. Multiple members looked at the post with widened eyes and immediately started to comment. → [CauldronBro: Bin, please calm down first, you're going to be okay.] → [Juxtaps: Bin, you can't panic in such a situation, first, we need to know what's happening.] → [Meditation Is Medicine: Meditate and relax your mind a little, first you need to approach whatever's happening with a calm mind.] → [EfficiencyLord: Based on the post, you're in the tower and it took away your potions and weapon, right? A hobgoblin is coming to attack you? We can help you deal with this, first, you need to calm down and reply.] → [Love Fusion Mix Hands: Cutie! Don't say goodbye, don't give up! We can walk you through whatever's happening! Please respond!] → [✪Potions Are Easy: As everyone else said, we need you to calm down and reply. Even without potions or a weapon, we can still help you and you'll be able to defeat the hobgoblin.] → [CauldronBro: Bin? Please respond.] → [ObsidianTier: Newbie, what's happening?] But no matter how much they asked for a reply, it never came. A solemn mood was starting to settle. Even someone who doesn't post much sent a reply. → [KrakenFin: It's okay, young child. As long as you don't give up hope, there is always a way to continue on.] … [So, why does everyone think Raccoon won't clear Floor 5?] Author: xx I don't see why everyone thinks Raccoon can't clear the 5th floor. Isn't it simple enough? Even without items, everyone still has skills. If not skills, she could still purchase a weapon not classified as an [Item] and clear it. Could anyone explain why they think this is as far as she goes?

→ [It's not as much as she CAN'T clear the 5th floor, however, it won't be the same as the other floors. From what we know, Raccoon has only used potions/explosives to clear floors thus far. She is an alchemist and combat skills are rare for that class. Especially ones who're just starting out. It is possible she purchased a combat skill in preparation for this floor, but unless she's rich or got a sponsor, it's unlikely she could afford one. So, most people, including myself, believe that Floor 4 is the limit of her current style. When and if she clears the 5th floor, it'll likely be with a team and we won't see much of her anymore. What mainly drove Raccoon's popularity was that she is a solo production-class who can make the leaderboards. After she joins a team she won't be making any new solo leaderboard records and will become like other production classes. She still makes good potions, don't get me wrong. They'll likely continue to sell, but her time of being talked about like this is pretty much over. Unless she were to create some crazy kind of potion or do something with that dynokali potion of hers, it's unlikely she'll reach this level of popularity again. Guilds and the government will probably still want her, but the public will focus on the potions instead.] ↳ [Adding onto this, even if she can clear the 5th floor solo, it's unlikely she'd make the leaderboards. From the clear videos we've seen, those people are genuine monsters and skilled in combat. Raccoon, however, only throws potions and is unlikely to have learnt more than basic self-defense.] ↳ [No!!! I believe in Raccoon!!! She'll prove you all wrong!] ↳ [She don't know you, lil bro.] ↳ [I am still curious about what guild she'll join. I hope they can nurture her properly and we get more sweet-tasting potions on the market.] ↳ [True, I love how all of her potions have a strawberry taste to them. I hope more alchemists follow this trend and start flavoring their potions like this.] ↳ [They do flavor their potions, it's just that her's are a bit more addicting than others.] → [Adding on, she was also preparing for this when she created a Tawer account. She probably knew that she hit a limit with the explosive style she had and is getting ready to transition to a more traditional production-class style. Either way, she's already set for the future, at such a young age too. As long as she joins a proper guild or team, she'll be cruising through life from now on.] … I hit the hard floor and flinched.

"H-Huh…?" The sudden hardness threw me out of my daze and I looked up. Even with blurred vision, I could see that the grass was gone. I could no longer feel the cool breeze of wind anymore. And the sun no longer radiated my skin. Rather, the cold air of my home bathroom hit me. The white sink stood tall above me. To my right was the ever-familiar bathtub and curtain.

"Home… Am I really home?" My crackled voice came out quiet as a whisper. Am I… dreaming? Is this the afterlife? Did I become a ghost, trapped to my apartment? Slowly getting up, I stumbled, barely catching myself on the sink. It felt real. My mind blanked. No thoughts were coming to my mind. I simply looked around. In the mirror, I could see a girl with reddened eyes and tear marks streaming down her cheeks. With shaking hands, I tried to clear my vision by wiping my eyes.

The blur didn't disappeared but it got better. Turning around, I carefully stepped out of my bathroom. Home… Did I really return home? With unsteady steps, I walked forward. That's my kitchen. The alchemy equipment is still there, just as I remembered it. Over there is my living room, even the blanket I laid on the couch remained in the same spot.

"Back…" I let out. My hands reached out to touch the wall. My hand didn't phase through it. It felt solid to the touch. I wasn't a ghost. Looking at my hands, they definitely weren't translucent.

"Ah…" Did the tower grant my wish? Did it really send me home? My cleared vision soon started to blur again.

"Alive…I'm alive." Tears naturally started to fester in my eyes. I'm really alive. I dropped to my knees again, hitting the hard wooden floor. But, I didn't care. It felt comforting rather than painful.

"Ah…Ah…" The tears started to roll down my cheeks.

"I'm alive…" And then, the dam broke.

"Waaah!" I cried—No, sobbed. I didn't stop myself or even try to think of anything else. I only felt happiness and relief. So, I sobbed with no care to anything else. I was really alive. I'm really home.