Chương 294: Day Two Hundred And Ninety-Two

Dear Diary, Like the man says, life comes at you fast sometimes; if you're not paying attention you could miss it. Not like my life is presently low key enough for anybody to let me miss the major beats. Or beatdowns. But you get my point, I think. Pay attention to the shit going on around you, don't get wrapped up in your own head, even when you're putting a lot of time into self-improvement. Like, mental or emotional self-improvement. Because it's easy to get lost in the sauce doing that, lemme tell you.

So yesterday practiced my anti-Jotnar moves by playing the Jaegers to duBois' Titan, only in a format that let him not stick his foot into the Library by accident trying to squish me into the cracks between the pavers. Despite doing that all afternoon I never actually lost my shit and went raging killbot on him.

Hell, other than some inch-long Mana Blade pokes into his thick muscles and fatty bits just to make sure I could tag him, and maybe a little bit of flirtatious left pinkie toe lopping off, I didn't even hurt him much at all. When I poked him in the eyes I didn't even use a weapon, I just punched him hard enough for him to blink and swear a bunch. I didn't even punch him in the balls once. I don't care what he says about me Mana Blading him straight up main street, I did not miss his glutes even once.

Even the time he dropped his fat ass to the pavers and sat on me. Got home at the end of the evening, and after absorbing the last mini-me, Saffron and I experimented with no-thought antics. Okay, I did. She's got some kind of philosophical objection to it. I'm not complaining, mind you, because my tiny genius choosing to calculate maximization of all possible impacts of her carnal worship of your girl Tabitha? I literally lack the brains or words to adequately describe how over the top awesome that is.

But my go-to is embarrassingly close to Cadet Smith's research methods. Y'know, 'does this work? no? how about this? This? That's good? Okay, I'll keep doing that. How about I add this?' until one or both of us pops off like a Thanksgiving turkey's built in timer. Yeah, there are definitely days, like all the ones ending in 'y', where I'm glad my wife's hot buttons are clearly labelled and do pop up when attention is required.

So yeah, I think that shit hit so hard Mimic felt it, because we spent the night staring at... I'm not sure. The side of a rock? A bit of a puddle that leaked out of the lake? Shit, I dunno, but there was none of the fear or even curiosity that she'd had every night lately. Woke up to Thanksgiving morning. Pie spice everywhere, and I was the filling in the fuzzy family pile pie. I swear at some point Saffron's going to figure out a way to get as fuzzy as the rest of us. Not unless you wish it, My Goddess.

I mean, I get plenty of 'what it's like to do it with a fuzzy chick' from Marie, so no pressure, but why not? Her lips curved into a smile that I felt against my fuzzy clavicle. I like the feel of your fur on my bare skin. Most especially you and our Maenad, love. I think I get why, but not Menace? Because despite how I adore the literal warm fuzzy feelings that engenders? My tiny body cannot contain the lust rubbing your silken fur all over me generates. What about Marie?

She nipped at my nip, because despite our inability to do anything with Isnomi snoring draped across our collective legs, she was definitely feeling feisty. That was a plural you. Hopefully soonish. She froze, then vibrated with excitement. No! Wait! That's it exactly! My Boon, My Goddess! I am ready to request it! Name it, Princess Priestess Magic Math Miko Kinky Kitten Chan! That got her. She froze, giggling for like a full minute, repeating that name back in fits and starts.

Eventually she leaned the side of her head against my chest and thought I would like Marie to be able to Co-Locate like us. I gotta admit, that hit a weird combination of ways.

All the kinky, of course, but also, y'know, I wanted my sweet little Kitten to get an utterly selfish indulgent Boon, like a woman-portable magical invisible Sybian with built in poker face induction for boring meetings, but I'd said and meant anything, and if she wanted, y'know, to be practical and above all fairness enhancing with her Boon, I sure as shit wasn't gonna tell her no about her being a better person than me. As you wish, most beloved Priestess. It is done. I felt her Grin into my chest.

I will not lie to my Goddess and say that the practical considerations bypassed my notice. But to ease your troubled mind regarding my initial and still core intent following the spirit of my Goddess' deep intent... She Co-Located us to our copy room in the Library. All three of us. The table groaned a little, but that tough little bastard of a piece of furniture didn't break, or even bend in the slightest. Marie tensed up, then flowed off the table with the weirdest look on her face.

Meanwhile Saffron spun herself up and around into a sitting position, glaring at the door as Glowing Midnight flickered around her for an instant. After that instant of 'this door displeases me, it's casting a shadow on my pool', the door and doorway straight up stopped existing, replaced by a blank section of wall.

"Marie? Please retrieve the most decadent bed available in storage?" Marie's expression got even weirder, then she managed a wicked savage grin and blinked out of the room. Meanwhile Saffron hopped off the table, stepped aside, and gave me a look. Because I'm not an idiot and am developing a surprising knack for antic-related hints from Saffron, I rolled off the table, grabbing it with the same motion and whipping it around to lean against one wall of the room, leaving the floor clear except for the two chairs.

Saffron grabbed those, dragged them over to the table, put them against the underside of the table, then plopped her ass down in one. She nodded at the other one, so of course I hopped into her lap and wriggled my fuzzy ass until her eyes crossed. Then Marie arrived and turned our copy room into a bed room. Like, if we wanted to do 'standing next to the bed' shit, it was gonna be the foot of the bed, because this big fucker filled the whole damn room.

At that point I blinked and said, "Wait, did you just steal a room? You stole this room." She just snorted at me, proving the worth of duBois' training methods by standing up with me and taking the one not very long step to the foot of the bed before dumping me onto it.

"How the fuck do you steal a room?" Then she looked up at Marie, who had an absolute 'I've got the weirdest boner right now' look on her face, and also was dressing in Isnomi's room while she lay in the family puddle purring her damn fool tits off.

"I will be deeply disappointed in the two of you if you do not figure out a way to cover every inch of me with warm fuzz by the end of the day." Love what you're reading? Discover and support the author on the platform they originally published on. Yeah, kinda funny, her first use of her new Boon, not to mention her uncle's room, was one where she absolutely went for the 'utterly passive object to be used' route, while still somehow being the target of our mutual efforts at lady pleasing.

Of course, with two people with functioning brains now able to Co-Locate, even I wound up picking up on some of the more practical uses of that shit. Which is how all three of us wound up putting our uniforms on in the other room while Saffron sat at her desk, already deep into hacking the world to better suit her needs. Right about then the Menace stirred.

She interrupted her own morning boot-up taste testing the world when her eyes shot open, she hopped off the bed and stood on tiptoes to open the connecting door. She froze for an endless instant, then vibrated against the floor in an ongoing squee that spun her around to look at the three of us still lounging on the bed.

Who were lounging there because when it comes to sybaritic knowledge Marie might be smarter than Saffron, and she twigged to the absolute need to use one Co-Located group for constant cuddle puddle instantly. Isnomi didn't, like, turn in any kind of normal way. Just vibrated with excitement against the floor so hard that she oscillated like a fan between looking at us-getting-dressed and us-cuddle-puddle. Then she turned her puppy-dog eyes on me.

Fortunately, somehow the weird yet completely me mélange of cuddle puddle, stolen room antics, and amusedly watching overwhelmed Isnomi while dressing gave me the Mom Mode Fortitude to say, "not until you're thirteen, Menace." When her lower lip stuck out, I said, "this is non-negotiable, but if you're a Big Girl about it I'll try to explain?" She took a deep breath, stopped her vibration oscillation, and walked over to the me who'd been dressing.

She took me by the hand, led me to her little bed, set me down on it, then stood in front of me and said.

"Ah Tay. Thplain." Before I did I threw my arms around her and drew her into a hug.

"I'm so proud of you, Isnomi." Then I held her back out where we could look one another in the eye.

"There are a couple reasons, kiddo. First, you are absolutely a handful to Mom. That's not a complaint! I love that you're so eager and imaginative and utterly unafraid of anything. But that means that Mom, Marie, and I can barely keep up with one of you. If there were two of you? I am absolutely certain one of you, more than one of us, and probably some of your little friends like Theresa and Terrance and Liam would wind up getting hurt." Her brows drew down and I said, "I don't think you'd mean to, Menace.

I don't think I've ever seen you mean to hurt anyone. Not really. Oh, you were sure as shit ready to when I had you guard all the kids at Lancaster House. But... that's maybe the rest of it. There are things I don't want you to learn yet. Learning them hurts, and if I gave you this, you would absolutely learn them sooner than later." Her mulish look shifted toward curiosity, and I interrupted her musing with, "do you trust Mama, Isnomi?" That took her by surprise.

"Yeth?"

"Really, really trust me?" She nodded, decisive as only my kid could be.

"Yeth."

"Okay then. I know you're gonna learn some of the shit I'm talking about. You're way too much like me to ever be all you could be if you didn't. But... some things you learn hurt, and if you learn them too young? They twist you. Twist you in ways that keep you from being the best Menace you can be. Like they twisted me. Mom, and Marie, and Grampa Loki are helping me get my shit un-twisted, but really, I don't want you to have to waste your precious Menace time with shit like that." Grandpa Loki? Am I wrong? No...

Complaints? I heard his little boy grin in my head. Not a damn one, Tabitha Diaz.

"So you trust me, and don't try to do this or trick me into showing you how, and when you are thirteen I will absolutely show you. If you still need me to, you clever little scamp. Okay?" She smiled, sniffed the air, and though her smile got a little sad for some reason, she stepped up to me and hugged me.

"Ah tay, Mama. I no do thad."

"Now for the really hard part for you, Menace?" When she looked at me with all the curiosity mixed with more than a little side eye, I said, "deciding what you want to do with who today." That bought all of us like a minute of Menace. exe failure due to stack overflow or some shit, during which the Saffron at her desk slowly spun her chair around, leaned an elbow on her desk and her face on her palm. She smiled at me, and then up at me from where another of me sat in one of the chairs in her stolen room.

"I cannot grant you Boons, my Goddess, but you will accept my Worship as reward for such fine Momming." Shit, I'm not dumb enough to not realize I'm too dumb to argue with her when I don't want to. Eventually Menace decided she wanted Marie to take her visiting for the day. They didn't set an itinerary or anything, but I figured all three grandparents, not to mention her posse in Lancaster territory would all get visits before the day was done.

The four of us wandered down to breakfast, and Marie and I fed Menace and Saffron dry and sloppily syruped corncakes respectively. Then, after hugs and kisses from all three of us, because somehow our little scamp managed to wrangle 'good bye hugs and kisses' out of the one of us going with her, the two of them left on their day of cute visiting rampages. Saffron and I headed up to the Practice Yard, only to find Marie sitting there in a chair next to Saffron's fuck you to reality door doing her needlework.

I smiled at her wanting to just be in the room with us, because I totally got it, but some newly awoken sense of responsibility or some shit like that said, "I love having you here, but don't you have, like, work to do today, sweetie?" She looked up at me, smiled the kind of smug smile that only felines can pull off, said, "Yes."

in the multi-syllable way you say it to someone being an idiot, then gave the me performing a duet with Saffron as our instrument of choice a very pointed reminder of exactly how much I'd just removed that limiter for her. I smiled at her and said, "you actually like the whole Maiding thing as much as sitting here lounging around watching us, don't you?" Her hand lashed out, snagged my jacket, and pulled me to her until her mouth rested by my ear, then breathed, "Maybe."

Then she spun me around and slapped me on the ass to get me moving. Saffron and I ran for the day. Well, I ran, doing endless sprinted laps around the perimeter of the Yard while the red jackets on the obstacle course occasionally cheered or taunted me in passing. All in good fun. Saffron spent part of the day sprinting alongside me, her feet moving even faster than mine to make up for fun-sized legs.

The rest of the time she made my workout just a little better in every sense by clinging to my arms, my shoulders, sometimes even my legs, frequently all at the same time. I'm not sure, because I wanted to focus on making one of me go as fast as I could as long as I could, but based on the shadows and some of the cheering, I think a few times multiple Saffrons on my shoulders were doing acrobatics. Like the shit coordinated water skiers would do, like forming Saffron pyramids balanced on my sprinting shoulders.

Pretty sure the biggest of those tumbled off as I bounced around a turn, but like I said, that me focused entirely on must go fast. To be fair, 'focused' is probably a mediocre term for it at best, since by the end of the first lap I didn't need to pay attention on the straightaways, and by the third or fourth I had the wall bounce turn pattern down as well.

Let me focus on the important things, like appreciating my High Priestess' Worship, even if that pretty much wrapped up after an hour or so when she got jonesing for her research again. She made to disperse that one of me along with that one of her, but instead I bounced that me back to lounge on Marie's bed and watch my Kitten at work. Also let me focus on obeying my Imperator's implicit commands regarding Compleat Fuzzy Engulfment.

Speaking of Imperator's commands, right before lunch the Saffron on my shoulders condensed herself down to one, leapt off in front of me and stood there, one hand held out imperiously for me to stop. I hit the brakes hard, but still wound up tackling her, taking the hard impacts of rolling a few more meters, then bounced us both back to our feet.

"What's up, Kitten?"

"General Lancaster has confirmed his scouts' reports. We have a list of ships and their owners for you to target." She smiled up at me, wreathed in Glowing Midnight, then pitching her soprano to carry its piping, prim message across the Practice Yard, said, "it is time, Champion of the Alliance Imperator. Attack dog?" I grinned at her, maybe letting my tongue loll out a bit.

"Time to fuck shit up."

"Woof! Woof! Yip! GROWL!"