Chương 2: Bk 1 Ch 2: Beginnings

I'm confused for a few seconds when I wake up, trying to figure out where I am. Then the previous day crashes down on me. Emily. Fuck. I immediately feel tears prickling at the corners of my eyes, and angrily wipe them away. Wallowing in self-pity isn't going to help anything. I glance at my talisman on my wrist for a few seconds, just to make sure I didn't dream the whole thing. Then I grudgingly push myself up. I'd expected to sleep until close to noon, but it's only a little past ten.

I consider trying to get a couple more hours of sleep, but I don't really feel tired. Well, better to get an earlier start anyway. Standing, I head towards the bathroom for a shower, stripping out of my pajamas. I take a moment to examine my… bruises? Or distinct lack thereof. Checking in the mirror, I confirm there isn't the slightest sign of a black eye. Even the scrape on my elbow is gone.

Now that I think about it, I can't actually remember them hurting since I transformed for the first time; there was just too much shit going on for me to notice at the time. That improves my mood quite a bit. Stepping into the shower, I start thinking about what I want to do next. Even after sleeping on it, my gut feeling from last night hasn't changed. The simplest thing to do would be to head down to the ABRA office and ask to sign up.

I'd barely even have to do any real work for them if I didn't want to; any magical they can effectively bribe into not causing problems is a win in their book. But the flip side of that is that I'd always have eyes on me making sure I really wasn't causing problems, and wasn't planning to start. The thought of having someone, anyone, hovering over my shoulder like that makes my skin crawl. I want… I want a chance to actually live my own life, the way I want to.

To dress the way I want, listen to the music I want, hang out with the people I want, without having to constantly worry about who might see. To try things it'd never been worth the risk to try before. Maybe one day I'll want more than that, but first I want to actually feel like I'm in charge of myself for a change. Magic will make that a hell of a lot easier, but it's not an instant solution. I'm pretty sure it's possible to get emancipated at sixteen, but I have no idea what the process actually involves.

Until I do that, I won't be able to rent an apartment. I won't even be able to go back to school without the cops trying to drag me back to my parents' house. I'll probably need to talk to a lawyer, and I'll need somewhere to stay in the meantime, preferably somewhere other than a scuzzy motel. No amount of flipping gravity upside down will get me any of that, not directly. I'll need help.

I step out of the shower and dry off, fishing some clean clothes out of my backpack along with a couple of granola bars for breakfast. After a moment, I start pulling out the cash I stole last night as well, so I can properly count it and secure it a little better. It gives me an excuse to delay a little longer. Really, I already know what I want to do. It hadn't been my first choice when I'd left last night, because Emily wouldn't have approved.

But as much as it hurts to admit it, that's not a factor anymore, and… more than help, I could really use a friend right now, someone I can talk to about all this shit. All of my old childhood friends are from church. I've let myself drift away from most of them over the last few years, intentionally. My new friends are from school, although the majority of them are really just friendly acquaintances. I enjoy being friendly and outgoing anyway, but it's also useful to have a reputation for it.

It made it easier to play off any rumors my parents heard about me associating with the "wrong sort." Cassie is the very definition of the wrong sort. One look at her hair (pink and spiky, the last time I saw her) would probably have made my mom reach for her smelling salts. She and Emily get along like oil and water. It'd always amused me that Emily's gentle, genuine concern for Cassie's wellbeing got under her skin just as much as her intentional digs got under Emily's.

But Emily tolerated her anyway, because until now, Cassie had been the only person to find out about our relationship. Not only had she kept her mouth firmly shut, she'd covered for us on multiple occasions. That'd earned a degree of grudging trust even from Emily. I've obviously never invited Cassie over, but I have been to her place a couple of times, and I know her number. I dial it on the room's phone, and it picks up after three rings.

"Yeah?" I recognize her mom's voice.

"Hi, it's Gabrielle. Is Cassie there?"

"Cassie! Phone!" There's a clunk as the phone gets set down on the other end, her mom not bothering to continue the conversation. That dosen't really surprise me much. It takes a few more seconds for the phone to get picked back up.

"Yo."

"Cassie? Hey, it's Gabby."

"Hey, what's up? Been a little while. How's summer treating you?"

"It… fucking sucks, actually. My parents found out about me and Emily."

"Ah, fuck. Shit. Are you okay?"

"... More or less, yeah. But… Well, I guess I need a place to crash." She heaves a sigh.

"Yeah, I was afraid of that. Come on over. I dunno how much I can do, but we'll figure something out. Can you get here okay?"

"Uh, it might take me a minute, actually. I'm way the fuck out in this motel by the interstate right now." Embarrassingly, it hadn't occurred to me last night that I wouldn't be able to fly back in the morning unless I want everyone on the planet to know there's a new magical in town. She snorts.

"Fuckin' a. Beats sleeping on a bench, though. I'd give you a ride, but the car's acting up again, Mom won't have the money to get it looked at until the first."

"It's fine, I'll just take the bus. Thanks. Really."

"No sweat. See you in a bit." I hang up, tie my hoodie around my waist, and put my backpack on. There's no way to hide the bracelet holding my talisman with short sleeves, but all I have to do is think about it and it turns itself into a pendant on a silver chain instead. A few quick tests show I can turn it into any piece of jewelry I can think of, instantly moving it around my body, although the size of the stone is fixed. Leaving it as a necklace for now, I head out.

I turn in my key at the lobby, ignoring the way the 20-something guy behind the desk checks me out. There aren't any bus routes to this part of town specifically, but a bunch of routes go to the local community college less than a mile away, so I start walking. At least it's a nice day out, just getting into the 70s with a few poofy clouds in the sky. The walk leaves me alone with my thoughts again, but they're not nearly as bad as they were last night.

Magicals first started appearing when I was six years old, and all the fearmongering in the world wasn't enough to stop me from falling in love with them. Even in those early years, when you couldn't turn on the TV or pick up a newspaper without hearing about "the abhuman menace," I never stopped idolizing them, although I did eventually learn to keep my opinions to myself.

I've fantasized about everything from standing in front of an adoring crowd after saving the city, to lounging on a throne at the top of my evil tower as my subjects cower before me. Hero, villain, it didn't matter to me; the important thing was always the magic itself, and I never really lost my distrust for all the authority figures who told me I should hate and fear it instead. I'm older now, of course, less naive. I know plenty of magicals really have done horrific things.

But people have never needed magic to do awful things to each other. Umbra, the first magical girl here in Franklin, started her career by murdering a bunch of her classmates and teachers. Predictably, it eventually came out that she was being viciously bullied at school while the teachers did nothing. That doesn't mean she's not still a complete psycho, but it does mean that the problem is people, not magic.

The real lesson, though, is that having power means you can fuck with whoever you want, and no one can fuck with you. Of course, things have changed since then. After the Battle of Los Angeles in '92, the government finally admitted that the only thing which can reliably stop a magical is another magical. Tempest was lauded as a patriot and a hero for his defeat of Black Panther, the terms "white mask" and "black mask" coming into common usage thanks to their respective costumes.

The Extradimensional Interdiction Act was repealed, and replaced with the Abhuman Registration Agency. It was a transparently cynical move, done only out of desperation, but it worked. Enough magicals were tempted by the generous terms ABRA offered that the nation stabilized, avoiding the fate of the former Soviet Union and many other countries. These days, any magical who starts their career like Umbra will find an ABRA strike team coming down on them like a ton of bricks.

All of that is to say I still need to be careful. By the best estimates, around eight hundred new magicals are chosen in the US every year on average. Simple math would suggest that the total number of magicals should be close to eight thousand by now. Instead, it's barely three thousand. I have no intention of becoming a statistic. The worst thing I could do right now is let my new power go to my head.

I need to take things one step at a time, spend a while practicing and pushing the limits of my magic, wait to reveal myself until I'm ready. Besides, I've already got a whole pile of shit to deal with in my civilian life. Any grander plans can wait until I've finished digging myself out. It takes me about twenty minutes to reach the bus station, and another fifteen for the bus to come. The good news is that the route goes all the way across town to Cassie's neighborhood, so I won't need to catch a connection.

After a little thought, I decide to just pay the fare instead of showing my student ID for a free ride. I'm not sure whether my parents would've called the cops after finding me gone. They certainly wouldn't pass up the opportunity to punish me more, but not at the cost of further embarrassing themselves. I can afford the fifty cents, though, so there's no point in taking the risk. The part of town Cassie lives in is…

not really the ghetto, Franklin isn't big enough or poor enough to have anything that would actually qualify as that, but it definitely isn't rich. The houses are old and poorly maintained, with lots of peeling paint. The yards are full of weeds and dirt, plus the occasional car on cinderblocks. If this were my parents' neighborhood, it would take the homeowner's association about thirty seconds to start pinning letters to doors. It made me uncomfortable the first time I came over, but it doesn't bother me anymore.

The people here are just people, and even the assholes are at least honest about it instead of hiding their shitty behavior behind polite smiles. Cassie's house is smaller than a single story of my parents' house. The moment I knock on the door, there's an explosion of barking from the other side. The door cracks open, revealing Cassie's face.

"Down, Buster! Hey, Gabby, glad you made it okay. I said down, you little shithead!" She manages to haul their Shepherd mix far enough back to open the door fully. I pay the mandatory pet tax, scratching his neck and assuring him that he's a good boy. As we head for her room, I catch a glimpse of her mom parked in front of the TV, cigarette in one hand and beer in the other. She ignores us, and we return the favor. The walls of Cassie's bedroom are almost completely covered by posters, mostly punk bands.

I've never been able to get into punk myself, but she knows what I like. She pops a CD into her boombox, and I can't help but grin as the opening notes of Smack My Bitch Up blast out of the speakers, loud enough to cover our conversation.

"I'm glad I talked you into getting their new album," I say.

"My parents tore through my whole room yesterday, found my entire music collection."

"Damn, that sucks," says Cassie.

"I take it things are pretty thoroughly fucked, then?"

"A lot less fucked than they could be, honestly, but they're not great." Cassie nods.

"That's good. I was worried they might've, you know, beat the shit out of you or something."

"... Yeah," I say, looking away.

"Gabby, for fuck's sake, did you-""I'm fine. Seriously. It's nothing." She looks at me for a moment, then lets it go.

"How'd they catch you, anyway?"

"Me and Emily were having a sleepover. Got careless, assumed my parents were still asleep, and my mom walked in on us." She snorts.

"Jesus. That must've been a shitshow."

"Yeah, just a little bit."

"So then they threw you out?"

"No, I left on my own, last night. They were talking about sending me to one of those camps, you know, the ones where they brainwash you into being straight."

"Fuck," she mutters.

"How about Emily? Have you managed to talk to her?" It takes me a few seconds to answer.

"... Yeah. I stopped by her house last night, tapped on her window. She…" I stop again, trying to get words to come out instead of tears.

"I asked her to come with me. She said no. She… sided with them, said we'd been sinning. So… I left."

"Oh, Gabby," says Cassie, pulling me into a hug, and then I'm sobbing into her shoulder. I cried plenty last night too, but now the floodgates are really open, and I just can't stop. It's like a loop, a constant reminder that it'll never be Emily's shoulder I cry into again, that the one person I thought would always be there for me abandoned me right when I needed her the most.

And the worst part is, I can't even bring myself to be angry at her, because she thought she was doing what was best for me, just like she always does. She's just as much of a victim in this as I am, and now I can't be there for her, either. A while later, I find myself laying on Cassie's bed with my head in her lap, while she gently strokes my hair. I'm glad she's straight as an arrow, cause I'd definitely be tempted right now if she weren't, and I know I'd feel shitty about that later.

We stay like that for a while, avoiding the heavy stuff and reminiscing about the good times instead. I tell her about the first time we kissed. I'd told Emily it was just practice for when we kissed boys and didn't count. Ten minutes later, she'd told me I was a terrible kisser and definitely needed a lot more practice. Cassie retells the story of how she stopped the vice-principal from catching us together in an empty classroom at a school dance by chucking her drink at him.

It hurts, and I cry some more, but it also feels relieving. It's not closure, not yet, but maybe it's a step in that direction.

"So," she says eventually, after we've been quiet for five or ten minutes.

"Any idea what the fuck you're gonna do now? You can stay here tonight if you want, I'll just tell Mom you're sleeping over, but longer than that and she'll get suspicious." I sigh, sitting up on her bed.

"Thanks. The real problem is, I can't just like rent an apartment on my own, even if I had the money. I was… kind of hoping you might know a guy. Somewhere I could stay where they won't ask questions, but also won't try any funny shit." She chews on her lip for a minute.

"I might, yeah. But not many who'll take charity cases. Some might help you out for a little while, but they can't afford to make it long term."

"... And if I had some cash?"

"Then you'd have some options. Do you?" I take a deep breath and let it out. I've known Cassie for less than two years, but we kind of click together, and she's absolutely proved I can trust her. Without Emily in the picture, she's easily my best friend. Still, this is a pretty big deal. But even if it might be safer to keep it completely secret, I don't want to go through all of this on my own. So I lean down and unzip my backpack, pulling clothes out of the way until the pile of cash at the bottom is revealed.

"Holy shit!" says Cassie, staring with wide eyes. She reaches in, pulling out a wad of tens and flicking through it.

"Where the fuck did you get all this?"

"Yeah, so, funny story," I say, mustering up a grin.

"Remember how I said things are a lot less fucked than they could be? Here's why." Then I hold out my hand and make my talisman appear in it. Her shock at seeing the money is nothing next to her shock now. Her mouth actually drops all the way open, and it takes her a few seconds to speak.

"No. Fucking. Way," she breathes. She starts to reach out, then snatches her hand back instead.

"Is that… Is that actually what I think it is?"

"Well, it's not just a fancy marble, I can sure as hell tell you that."

"Holy shit. Holy fucking shit. When did this happen? How did this happen!?"

"It was after Emily broke up with me. I… wasn't really paying attention to where I was going, I just had to get away. Ended up sitting in some park somewhere. And then… they just showed up. Virgo and Arcturus, just like they say. She… I think she said something about my sadness tasting good." If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

"... Well, that's not creepy as fuck." I snort.

"Trust me, you don't know the half of it." Then I tell her the rest. She hangs on every word I say about the mysterious power-granters. She literally squeals in excitement when I briefly transform for her. She cackles with laughter for several minutes when I tell her where I got the money.

"Well, fuck me sideways with a cactus," she says when I'm finished." That sure as hell changes things. Honestly, I'm jealous as all fuck, but at least I get to be your first minion!" I roll my eyes.

"I haven't actually decided to start a gang, you know."

"Ah, fuck off, we both know you're going to. You're no bootlicker."

"Seriously, though. I'm not planning on doing anything else except practice right now. Until I feel ready, I don't want anyone even whispering about a new magical running around. I'm only telling you because I know you can keep your mouth shut."

"... Yeah, alright, sure. Probably smart. It'll narrow your options, though. I take it you want to stay far away from Surf 'n Turf and the Syndicate, then?"

"At least for now. If I do ever end up approaching either of them or anyone else, I want it to be on my terms, with a reputation already made."

"Sure, I get that. Anyway, yeah, I know some people who might rent a room to you for a while if you pay up front. But they're gonna wanna know where the money's coming from, just to make sure you won't bring any shit down on their heads. A few hundred bucks shouldn't be too hard to explain, maybe a grand, but if the money keeps coming? They're gonna get suspicious." I shrug.

"I don't need a permanent solution. I'm gonna talk to a lawyer, try and find a way to get emancipated. Then I'll be able to rent a place on my own. I want to try and get it done by the end of summer, so I can go back to school." Cassie barks a laugh.

"School, seriously? If I got magic, you can bet your ass I'd never see the inside of a classroom again." I roll my eyes.

"Well, excuse me for wanting to keep a normal civilian life." The truth is, I actually like school, and I'm not bad at it. Sure, some parts of it are boring, but it's always been a place where I was at least a little more free to actually be myself. And yeah, maybe in the beginning I was only paying attention in science class because of all the times I got told it was full of lies from Satan, but then I discovered astronomy.

I have no idea whether or not I'll end up going to college now, but if I do, I know what I want to study; I've always loved looking at the stars. Maybe that's even the reason I got gravity magic, although no one really knows exactly why different magicals get the specific magic they do.

"Whatever, you do you. I guess even magical girls can be nerds," says Cassie, grinning.

"Anyway, if you're only planning on staying until the end of summer, it should be fine. My friend Jess and her boyfriend David have a spare room they'll probably rent to you. Her little brother's gay too, and he had to deal with some of the same shit you are, so she'll probably give you a good deal. Just… You don't mind if they, uh, sell stuff, right?" I'd kind of been expecting that coming in.

"As long as you're completely sure they don't have any connections to any gang. And, uh, as long as there aren't gonna be a bunch of crackheads wandering around all the time, I guess."

"Nah, they mostly stick to weed, grow it themselves. Good shit, too. They started out real small time, just growing a little for themselves and their friends, which is why they didn't get swept up by the cops when Sparkle Princess came through and kicked the shit out of Umbra. They didn't start doing it as a full-time gig until afterwards, filling the vacuum, you know."

"That sounds perfect, then."

"Great. Should I go head and give her a call now?" I hesitate for a moment, then nod.

"Yeah. No point in putting things off."

"Cool. I needed to anyway, I'm all out of weed." I snort.

"Well, we can't have that, can we?" She goes out and gets the phone handset, bringing it back to her room and shutting the door again. I sit and watch as she dials, trying not to feel nervous.

"Jess? Hey, it's Cassie. I need to ask a favor. Well, yeah, that too, but this is bigger. So, I've got this friend. Her parents just found out she's gay, and now she doesn't have a place to live anymore. Yeah, tell me about it. Uhuh. She's got some cash, like a few hundred bucks probably, does that help? Right, of course. Sure. Great, thanks a ton. We'll head over in a couple hours, then. Yeah, see you." She hangs up.

"Good news?" I asked.

"She wants to talk it over with David first, and they'll want to meet you, but I doubt they'll say no. Just be yourself, they'll definitely like you."

"Great," I say, letting out a small breath of relief. I do have other options still, but it would be a lot nicer if this just works out. After a moment, I reach into my backpack and pull out a couple wads of ones, then hold them out to Cassie.

"Here. For all the help you're giving me."

"What? No, you don't have to do that! We're friends, Gabby, I wasn't just gonna leave you hanging!"

"Yeah, I know, but I want to. Seriously, without you'd I'd probably end up in some shitty shelter or something, and like… I'm sure I could deal with it, but I'd much rather not. Anyway, you were the one who said you were gonna be my first minion. Consider it your first paycheck." She looks at me for a few seconds, then grins and takes the money.

"I'll hold you to that. Thanks."

"Just don't spend it all on weed."

"Weed? Shit, with this much, I could probably afford to get some coke!"

"Cassie, for fuck's sake." I make like I'm gonna try and grab the money back, she laughs as she dances away, I grab her pillow and throw it at her, she throws it back, and we only stop when we nearly knock her lamp off her nightstand. A while later, we catch the bus over to her friend's place, and I push down my irritation that I can't just fly. It's not really that long of a trip anyway, their neighborhood is only a mile or two away, closer to downtown.

Their house is two stories, although not nearly as big as my- my parents' place. I follow Cassie as she walks up and knocks on the door. It opens after a few seconds, and I get my first look at Jess, I assume. She looks like she's in her mid 20's, a little taller than I am, probably around 5'8. She's got long brown hair, and she's wearing a tank top that shows off the tattoos on her upper arms and chest. I do my best not to stare too hard at the phoenix with spread wings right above her cleavage.

"Hey, Cassie. Come on in."

"Hey, thanks again. This is Gabrielle. Gabby, this is Jess."

"Nice to meet you," she says, sticking out her hand.

"You too. Thanks a lot for doing this."

"Well, I'll need to hear a little more before I can make any promises, but I want to help if I can." We follow her to the living room, where a guy around her age is already sitting on the couch. His hair isn't as long as Jess's, but it's still longer than I'm used to seeing on a guy, down around his shoulders and a little curly.

"My boyfriend, David. This is Gabrielle." I shake his hand, too.

"Nice to meet you. Go ahead and sit down. Sounds like you've had a pretty shitty time. You guys wanna smoke a bowl before we get started, relax a little?" I notice the bong sitting on the coffee table; I've never actually seen one in person before.

"Fuck yes," says Cassie immediately. David pulls out a ziplock bag absolutely stuffed with weed, or at least I assume it's weed. It looks different than I expected, little green clumps rather than loose flakes like oregano or something. He takes one and carefully packs it into the bowl of the bong, passing it over to Cassie along with a lighter. I watch carefully as she takes the hit; I don't want to fuck up and embarrass myself. She holds her breath for a few seconds, then breaths out a cloud of smoke.

It honestly smells pretty good, a little herbal, way better than cigarette smoke.

"Gabby?" she asks, offering the bong to me. Trying not to show any hesitation, I take it. Copying what she did, I breath in through the top of the bong while holding the lighter to the bowl, then pull the bowl out. The smoke rushes into my lungs all at once, but it's not unpleasant or burning; I guess that's the point of the water. I hold my breath as I pass it to Jess, only letting it out when I feel like I'm going to start coughing.

I take another hit when it gets passed around to me again a minute later, before David empties the ashes into a tray. The first thing I notice is a sort of tingling in my arms. It spreads through my whole body over a minute or two, coming in waves. My head is getting a little fuzzy, and there's a funny feeling in my chest. Shit, did I take too much? What the fuck was I thinking, getting high right before I need to convince these people to let me live with them?

I'm gonna freak out, I'm gonna make a fucking idiot of myself, and then- No, that's stupid. Calm the fuck down, you're just high, it's not a big deal, they do it all the time. Just act normal. Not too normal, though, not like church-normal. What's normal like for Jess? Man, her tattoos are really pretty. I wonder if I should get a tattoo? I never really thought about it before, mom and dad would lose their shit, but fuck them, I don't have to give a shit what they think anymore. What would I get?

Maybe a constellation, like on my back or something with the art, that'd be pretty cool. I remember the first time I went stargazing with Emily at summer camp, we were so excited to recognize Ursa Major, that'd be a cool tattoo. Emily would look pretty with a tattoo. Fuck, I miss Emily. I wonder-"Huh? Sorry, what?" I say, suddenly realizing that someone's talking to me.

"I just asked if you wanted to say a little more about your situation," says Jess.

"You don't have to say too much if you don't want, I know that shit's personal, but I wanna get to know you a little better."

"Yeah, sure. So, uh…" I shake my head slightly, trying to figure out where I'm supposed to start.

"So my parents are really religious. Like, hardcore evangelical, you know. Been going to church every Sunday as long as I can remember. It's actually where I met Emily, when we were like five or something. Right, shit, Emily's my girlfriend. Was my girlfriend, I guess. She still believes in that shit somehow. Fucking assholes, getting into her head and making her think there's something wrong with her. Did you know there's actually nothing in the Bible about lesbians?

It's all about men laying with men, like they didn't even realize girls can fuck each other too. Sorry, uh, where was I? Right, so my mom ended up catching me and Emily together. Stupid. Should've been more careful. We were always super paranoid the first few months we were actually dating, wouldn't even kiss if anyone else in the house was awake. No one ever noticed anything, so we kinda figured everything was fine, forgot how fucked everything would be if someone did notice." Am I rambling?

Fuck, I'm rambling, aren't I?

"Anyway, yeah, I packed some shit and went out my window. Cleared out their emergency cash before I left." I'm glad I figured out my cover story beforehand, cause I definitely wouldn't be able to come up with one on the fly right now.

"Slept in some shitty cheap motel last night, and then called up Cassie this morning. She's fucking amazing, by the way, I dunno what I would've done without her. You're fucking amazing."

"Goddamn right, I am!" says Cassie, grinning.

"Fuckin' a," says David after a moment.

"That's some pretty heavy shit. You got, like, any relatives or anything who might be more chill?" I shake my head.

"Nah. Mom's parents are the only ones who live close, and they're just as hardcore. Dad's family is way the fuck away over on the east coast, I've only met most of them a couple of times."

"Damn," he says, nodding.

"Well, why don't you tell us what you're thinking then?"

"Honestly, right now I just want a place to stay while I figure some shit out. I heard you can get, uh, emancipated once you turn sixteen. I don't wanna be, like, a long-term resident or anything. Just need to figure out how to get my own place."

"Well, me and David weren't really looking for a roommate, but your situation sucks, and we've let friends crash here before when they needed to," says Jess.

"Usually it isn't for more than a couple of weeks, though, so I do wanna make sure it won't turn permanent by accident."

"Sure, I get that. I wanna try and get my shit sorted out by the end of summer. Could take a little while to find my own place, too, so… maybe I could agree to be out by the end of September? They look at each other, then back at me.

"Yeah, that sounds pretty reasonable. We will have to hold you to that, though. Too easy for a couple more weeks to turn into a couple more months. Let's see… We usually spend, what, like 200 bucks a month on groceries and shit? Cut that in half, add a little extra just to be safe… The end of September, that's a little more than three months away, so… 400 bucks? Is that doable for you?"

"For the whole time? Yeah, I can do 400 bucks. Thanks, I really appreciate this."

"You seem pretty chill, and it feels nice to help out when you can. Here, let me show you where you'd be staying, okay?" I follow her out of the living room and down the hall. The bedroom she leads me to is fairly small, the double bed takes up most of the floor space. There's also boxes of random shit all over it.

"Sorry it's such a mess, but it shouldn't take too long to get it cleaned out."

"No problem, this looks fine," I say.

"Great. Just to lay down a couple of ground rules now, no bringing anyone over here unless we okay them, cool? And I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell people where you're staying, either. We try to stay on the down-low as much as we can. No getting into the product without asking, either."

"Sure, makes sense."

"Cool. Let's hang out a little longer, just to make sure there aren't gonna be any huge conflicts, okay? But I think this should work out just fine." We go back to the living room, where Cassie is forking over thirty bucks in exchange for a tiny little baggy of weed. It makes me wonder just how much that full ziplock bag is worth. I am gonna need some actual income at some point… I shake my head. That's nothing I need to worry about right now.

"So what are you into?" asks Jess as we sit back down. I think for a moment.

"I like astronomy. Had a crappy little telescope, couldn't ever get my parents to buy me a better one, but I still always loved to stargaze, or just read about it. Science fiction, too. Sometimes fantasy, but that was more Emily's thing. And I like music. Gonna have to rebuild my whole collection, but at least I won't have to hide it anymore."

"Yeah? Who do you like?"

"Nine Inch Nails, The Prodigy, Daft Punk… That kind of stuff, you know."

"I'm more of a rock girl myself, but David likes some of that electronic shit."

"You ever listen to The Crystal Method?" he asks. I shake my head.

"Don't know them."

"They just dropped their first album last year," he says, getting up and walking over to the stereo.

"Check this shit out, you're gonna love it." I listen for a minute, nodding appreciatively.

"Yeah, good shit." Then I laugh.

"Wait, are they sampling that movie The Dark Crystal?"

"Fuck yeah. You've seen it?"

"Yeah, it was… it was one of Emily's favorites. Labyrinth, too, and all that kind of stuff. We… always used to watch that show Xena together. She'd tease me cause of my name, you know. Sometimes we'd, uh, reenact some scenes. Glad her parents never realized what it was actually about." Everyone chuckles. We end up just sitting around shooting the shit for a good couple of hours. It's… nice.

The whole situation is a little weird when I stop and think about it, that I'm gonna be living with these people I just met for the foreseeable future, but I find I really don't mind it that much. They're easy to be around, way easier than my parents, with none of the stress of constantly needing to watch what I say. The weed helps too; I stop getting lost in my own head after the first twenty or thirty minutes and just feel really relaxed. Eventually, Cassie leaves. I don't.

I brought all my shit with me, such as it is. I help Jess get the spare bedroom cleared out, and she puts some clean sheets on the bed. She shows me around the rest of the house; the backyard is surrounded by tall hedges to hide the small greenhouse where they grow most of their weed. We have a frozen pizza for dinner, and when I start feeling like a third wheel, Jess invites me to play a casual game of poker with them.

Later, lying in my new bed, it finally starts to catch up with me just how much my life has changed in a couple of days. Things are never going to be "normal" ever again. I cry a little, not like I did this morning, but just in acknowledgement of the old life I'm never getting back. But I go to sleep with a smile on my face, because my new life really isn't looking too bad.