Chương 13: Bk 1 Ch 12: Becoming

Apollo shows up Friday night. I'm glad to see he didn't end up chickening out; I probably would've just written him off if he had. He enters the park cautiously, and I put away the homework I'd been working on and float up out of the fir tree I'd been sitting in. I come down about twenty feet behind him and clear my throat. He jumps and spins.

"Jesus! Are you gonna do that every time?"

"Probably," I admit shamelessly.

"I'm glad you decided to come." He shrugs uncomfortably.

"I'm still not completely sure about this, honestly. But… I guess you were right, nothing's gonna change unless I change it."

"That's the spirit," I say, nodding.

"Now, we can stay here for a while if you want. But to do anything more fun, we'll need to go out past the city limits."

"How- Oh, right, you can fly. So are you, like, a telekinetic?"

"Not quite. I'm a gravity manipulator." I'm being a little careful with what I tell him; there's still a chance that he'll go running to the white masks when he finds out I really am a proper black mask with my own gang, but my magic isn't anything they couldn't figure out from my name alone.

"Oh! Huh, that's pretty cool, I've never heard of a gravity manipulator before. How do you think it compares?" I notice he hasn't actually answered my question yet, but I don't press him for now.

"Hard to say, but if I had to guess, I have much less fine control than a telekinetic would have. The flip side is that I'm not limited by weight, only size, and there's no real limit to how fast I can accelerate things if I have enough room, either."

"I always kinda wished I could fly," says Apollo.

"I guess it's kinda selfish when I already got one of the most useful and valuable kinds of magic, but-" I flick a pinecone on the ground with a gravity field, beaning him in the forehead.

"Nope. Stop that."

"Ow! Hey! What was that for?"

"It's not selfish to want things. I'll keep doing that until you learn to stop constantly judging yourself. Remember, you're my friend now, and I don't let people insult my friends." He snorts.

"I didn't realize being your friend would involve having pinecones regularly thrown at me."

"Just one of the many benefits I offer," I say, grinning.

"Anyway, lots of magicals who can't fly at first figure it out later, once they get more powerful. What kind of magic do you have, anyway? You can't just be a plain healer, you can regrow limbs but you can't cure regular diseases."

"Um… I guess I have growth magic," he replies after a moment.

"It works on all kinds of living things, not just people. Here, let me show you." He extends a hand towards the ground and frowns slightly in concentration. The grass begins rapidly growing, increasing in height at a good couple of inches a second. It keeps growing until it's four or five feet tall, taller than I think lawn grass is supposed to get.

"It's actually easier to use on plants, just because they're simpler. I had to practice a lot on animals before I could safely use it on people."

"Interesting," I say absently, coming forwards to examine the patch of long grass more carefully. It looks more like grass you'd find out in the country now, with multiple blades come off of a single stalk.

"Could you make it even taller, if you wanted?"

"Yeah, but it would die right away if I did, unless I changed more stuff. You know, a stronger stem and more efficient ways of moving water around and things like that."

"And you can do that?"

"Kind of? I can't just change things however I want, it has to be growing at least a little. It's easy to mess things up, though, cause even grass is actually pretty complicated when you look at it close enough. It took me a while to figure out how to just, like, follow the plans that are already there." Goddamn. This kid is a powerhouse waiting to happen, and no one even realizes.

Or, no; ABRA certainly realizes, and they're probably hoping that he never realizes and just stays a good little healer for the rest of his life. I test that theory.

"How far can you push things? Could you, like, make the grass grow into a tree instead?"

"I mean, I guess I could in theory? But it probably wouldn't actually work, the more I change things from their natural form, the more things I have to keep track of to stop them from just dying. I did some experiments with ABRA kind of like that back in the first few months I had my power, one time I managed to get a dandelion to grow from a daisy seed, but even that took me like a week to get right. And, you know, as a healer, I want to get in the habit of keeping things like they are, not changing them.

People wouldn't be happy if I accidentally, like, grew them a flipper instead of a hand or something." I'm almost certain he's once again repeating someone else's words. I also suspect I've found the reason why his power has never really grown even though he's been a magical for years, or at least one reason. An artist won't ever improve if they do nothing but fill in coloring books, after all.

"Well, I think you're probably safe on that account by now," I say.

"So why not see what else you can do? Here, what happens if you just make the grass grow as fast as possible, without trying to control the changes?"

"Oh, that gets kind of weird. I haven't done that since right after I got my magic."

"Well, now you're just making me curious."

"Uh, I guess I can show you if you want? Just… Try not to freak out, okay?"

"Promise."

"Alright, if you're sure. Uh, you might want to stand back a little." I do, taking several steps backwards. He does as well. Then he holds out his hand again. This time, the grass virtually explodes upwards and outwards, growing more than a dozen feet in just a few seconds. But as it does, it kind of stops being grass. Or no, that's not quite right. It's more like, it keeps the form of grass while losing all context of what grass is actually supposed to be.

The original blades balloon until they're more than a foot across and ten times that in length, but they're quickly hidden as smaller blades sprout from them like green fur. Those blades grow as well, and then sprout their own fur of even smaller blades. The entire patch quickly collapses under its own weight, forming into a huge tangle of furious growth without any kind of logic behind it. The growth finally slows and ends when the pile of "grass" is nearly twenty feet across.

"Holy shit, that was awesome," I say, laughing.

"Like a weird grass volcano." I approach, experimentally poking the pile with my staff, and then with my hand. It feels kind of weird and fuzzy as well, the final blades of grass are just a few millimeters long.

"I can see why you were worried about doing that to a person, though."

"Yeah," says Apollo, nodding vigorously.

"Uh, you won't tell anyone I can do that, right? My p- people would get scared if they knew I could do that kind of thing, it could lose the Gottfried Clinic a lot of business."

"Nah, your secret's safe with me. But do you see why I always leave town to practice magic now?"

"Shit, yeah, sorry. I guess I should've warned you that we'd need to clean all this up. Uh, I can just do it myself, you don't have to hang around if you don't want to."

"I take it you can't just ungrow it, then?" He shakes his head.

"My magic doesn't work like that. Besides, it's already dead anyway, so my magic doesn't work on it at all anymore."

"Well, no problem. I can take care of it." The pile is too big to cover with a single gravity field, but it doesn't matter when it's all still tied together. I make a gravity field right in the center of the tangle, slowly ramping up the strength so I don't just tear it. The entire mess gets sucked violently inwards, the original roots easily tearing loose. With a sort of squelching noise, it's compressed into a dull green sphere just a couple of feet across.

It doesn't compress anymore, so after a few seconds, I shrink my field and turn it from a simple pull into a vortex, with the top and bottom halves spinning in opposite directions. The strength of the field drops due to the more complex configuration, but it's still probably at least 10 g's. The sphere churns as I rotate the field, changing the direction of the pull and hopefully shredding the contents. Finally, I fling the sphere away.

It hits the ground and splatters, leaving nothing but a long spray of green sludge.

"Wow, that was, uh, that was a lot faster than I could've done it," says Apollo. It's not hard to guess what he's thinking.

"No, I've never done that to a person."

"Right, of course," he says, laughing a little nervously.

"I, uh, I didn't think you had."

"Anyway, are you okay with heading out into the country so we don't have to worry about making a mess?" He frowns slightly.

"I mean, you saw my magic can't really do anything useful when I use it like that. What's the point of just making a bunch of weird grass stuff?"

"Practice," I say bluntly.

"What you've been doing is like going to the gym and doing nothing but arm-curls. Yeah, you'll end up with huge biceps, but that doesn't mean you're actually in good shape. Just like you need to exercise your entire body, you need to use your magic in lots of different ways if you want it to grow. Also, it's fun."

"I think you've got a weird idea of fun."

"Entirely likely. But I think your idea of fun might be a little skewed as well, if you think making weird grass volcanoes by waving your hand isn't awesome. So how about it?" He takes a deep breath, then nods.

"Alright. Sure." I walk over to stand next to him.

"Here, hold on to my arm. You're going to be weightless, it'll feel kind of like jumping off a high-dive. Try not to freak out, you should get used to it fairly quickly."

"Um, if you say so," he says nervously. He takes a hold of my bicep, and I slowly float us upwards. Immediately, he grabs on with the other hand as well, and it's a good thing I'm just as strong as he is, because his death grip would probably crush a baseline human's arm. He doesn't scream, though.

"You okay?" I ask after a few seconds.

"... Yeah, yeah, I think so," he says, taking in a few deep breaths.

"I've gotten ferried around by Dynamic a couple of times, but this is, uh, a lot different than that."

"Alright, here we go." We accelerate upwards, and then east. I don't push as hard as I can, but I don't hold back as much as I do with Cassie, either; he should be plenty tough enough to take going a couple hundred miles an hour. As expected, he seems to pretty much get used to it after a minute or to, although he doesn't let go of my arm. I fly us out over the hills, setting down in a spot that's been clear-cut recently.

"So, uh, what now?" he asks once we've landed.

"Easy. Now, you go crazy. Let your magic loose for a change, stop caring about whether its useless or scary or anything else. Just have fun with it, and let me worry about the cleanup." He hesitates. I give him time, not pushing him more quite yet. After all, I'm sure he's been told a hundred times not to do what I'm suggesting. But taking him out here isn't useful just to avoid notice. It's also a commitment, and once you've made a commitment, it's easier to follow through than to not.

It takes him several seconds, but eventually he slowly raises his hand. This time, it's a little wildflower that explodes in size, each petal sprouting its own smaller blooms as it grows, which then sprout more blooms, and so on. It stops growing when it's nine or ten feet across, but massive pine needles are already bursting up through it, sprouting smaller needles almost like a cactus in the same way, and then some kind of weed, and then more grass.

I just watch as he spends a few minutes going crazy exactly like I urged him. When he's finished, a patch of the hillside a hundred feet across is completely covered by a dense snarl of chaotic growth. He turns to me, grinning. It's a little hesitant, a little fragile, but it's there.

"See? Fun," I say, grinning back.

"... Yeah," he says, laughing a little.

"I guess… I guess when I first got magic, I thought it was pretty cool too. But no one else seemed to think it was, all they talked about was how I needed to learn to control it."

"Well, fuck 'em," I say confidently.

"Who's better at controlling a car, a racecar driver, or a guy who never goes above ten miles an hour? Sure, maybe you'll never get in a crash driving that slow, but you'll never get anywhere else, either. If you really want to learn how to control your magic, you can't limit yourself like that."

"I never really thought about it like that," he says.

"So, uh, what now?"

"That's up to you," I reply.

"You know your magic better than I do. Tell me about some possibilities you thought of but never explored."

"I mean… I guess I've thought of some stuff before, yeah, but it all seems kind of wasteful compared to healing, you know? Like, any magical can fight, but only a few can do what I do, so it'd be kind of selfish to- Ow! Hey!"

"I warned you," I say, summoning another pinecone to my hand.

"We're having fun right now, feeling guilty isn't allowed. Go on, tell me about the stuff you thought of." He huffs a laugh.

"Alright, fine, just… don't make fun of me, okay? When I first got magic, I thought I could be, like, a nature-themed hero who ties criminals up with vines and brambles and stuff. That was before I realized my magic works on animals and people, too. But I can't make things grow fast enough to actually be useful if I control where they go."

"Sounds like you have something to work on, then."

"I… Okay, I guess I'll give it a try, but I'm not sure if it's even really possible."

"It's magic. If it seems like it should be possible, then it's possible. I couldn't do this when I first got magic." I suck a big chunk of the tangle he created into a gravity field, blend it up, and fling the resulting sphere of plant sludge down the hill.

"Now I can. There's still more stuff I can think of that I'm not strong enough to do yet, but one day I will be." After a moment, he nods. The plants start growing again, slower and more controlled this time. I watch for a couple of minutes as he mutters to himself, occasionally shaking his head, but there's not a whole lot else I can do to help. Instead, I turn back to the tangle he grew earlier. It's a decent target for me to practice on myself, something I'll need to get rid of anyway.

I'm experimenting with more chaotic gravity fields which pull in all sorts of different directions, designed to shred physical matter directly. They're not completely effective yet, I can't make them strong enough, but like I said to Apollo, that's why practice is important. I'm also working on holding rings of random material around myself in an orbit, as both a close-range offense and a way to potentially shield myself.

The random bits of gravel, woodchips, and other detritus are still too slow to really make an effective buzzsaw like I want them to, if I spin them too fast I lose my hold on them and they just fly away, but I feel like I'm making steady progress. Once the whole tangle has been cleared out through one means or another, I fly back over and check on Apollo, hovering behind him so he won't notice me. He's found some blackberry bushes to work with, and it seems to be going at least decently well.

He's found a balance between speed and utility, controlling them enough that they stay recognizable as vines even as they split and branch, while still growing at several inches a second. It's still far too slow to be useful even against a baseline human, of course, but he needs praise, not criticism.

"Looking good," I say, unable to stop a small snicker when he jumps again.

"It's not very fast," he says, frowning.

"That'll come if you keep working, now that you have the foundation. Here, why not try it on an actual target?" I say, coming around and landing next to the blackberries.

"Go ahead, wrap me up."

"Uh, are you sure?" I roll my eyes slightly, then reach over and tear off a chunk of brambles from his previous attempt, crushing them in my bare hand.

"Right, of course," he says, laughing a little awkwardly. He raises his hand, and more brambles spring up around my feet. It takes them several seconds to creep up my body, splitting as they go. Eventually they start tightening, and to my surprise, I can actually feel the thorns pricking me a little. It's not much, not nearly enough to break skin, but enough to be noticeable. Experimentally, I try raising my arm and encounter real resistance.

"Huh, interesting," I say.

"What?" he asks. The brambles stop growing. Immediately, my arm tears straight through them, completely ignoring the thorns.

"Here, try it again, just off to the side," I say, the rest of the brambles tearing just as easily as I step out of them. He does, and I reach out and grip one vine as it grows, trying to pull it apart. I eventually succeed, but I have to put some actual muscle into it. Quickly, I grab another vine and start pulling again.

"Okay, now stop." He does, and the vine instantly rips like wet tissue paper.

"Your magic isn't just making them grow. As long as your magic is acting on them, they're a lot stronger than they should be."

"Oh. Huh. I never realized. How strong?"

"Eventually? Strong enough to tie up another magical, easy. You should probably avoid using anything with thorns on anyone who isn't a magical, unless you want them to have a really bad day."

"I'll, uh, I'll keep that in mind," he says nervously.

"I wonder if there's any way to make it linger?" I shake my head slightly.

"Maybe something for later."

"How long do you want to stay out here?" he asks after a moment.

"I guess we should probably head back pretty soon," I agree.

"First, though… Wanna spar?" His eyes widen.

"You mean, like, fight? With weapons?"

"That's the idea, yeah. It'll be fine, don't worry. Here, look, my weapon even comes with a safe mode." I project the spear blade from the top of my staff, then let it fade away.

"I promise you won't get hurt."

"What about you, though?"

"I'll be fine. You'd need more than one arrow to do any real damage to me." I grin.

"And that assumes you even manage to hit me at all." He's silent for a moment, then huffs a sigh.

"Fine, we can try it once. I still think this is a bad idea, though." I put some space between us, about forty feet, which is obviously to his advantage. He manifests his bow with a glimmer of white light.

"Ready?" I ask. I wait a moment, then say, "Go!" He does at least know how to use his bow, obviously. He pulls back the string, manifesting a glowing golden arrow on it, and releases it in less than half a second. It flies dead-on at my center of mass. Letting my instincts guide me, I swat it cleanly out of the air with my spear blade in a flash of gold, white, and black. He's already releasing another arrow; this one, I dodge with a backflip.

I'm not using magic yet, or at least not actively, I want to make things at least a little challenging for myself. Besides, it's good practice, and it's fun. I find myself grinning as I dodge and weave towards him, leaping from treestump to treestump. It's not quite like a real fight, but it's more than I've had since I killed Firestorm. As I close in on him, he jumps away, continuing to pelt me with arrows in midair.

His leap takes him about twenty feet, but I'm already following, forcing him to immediately jump away again. That repeats a couple more times. Then, he lands badly, tripping slightly over a root. He recovers almost immediately, but it's enough to let me close the distance. I dash towards him… And he stumbles backwards, frantically swinging his bow like a crude staff to try and ward me away. He trips again, this time falling on his back, his eyes wide with panic. I immediately make my spear blade vanish.

"Hey. You okay?" For a couple of seconds, he just hyperventilates. Then he blinks a couple of times, his breathing slowing, panic being replaced by embarrassment.

"Yeah, I'm… I'm fine. Sorry. I, uh, I just…"

"It's okay. I get it." I walk forwards, offering him a hand up. After a moment, he takes it. I help him stand, then tap him lightly on the head with my staff.

"Bonk. I win." He snorts and rolls his eyes.

"Yeah, obviously. Sorry. I don't think I can really give you much of a fight."

"Then you should try again."

"I, uh…"

"I'm serious. You know it'll be fine, because it just was. But the only way to make yourself believe it is to force yourself to do it. Waiting will just build it up in your head and make it even harder." Again, he hesitates, but he's used to doing what other people tell him. That's a habit he'll need to break sooner or later if he wants to grow, but for now, I'll make use of it.

"Alright. I'll… I'll try one more time."

"Good," I say, clapping him on the shoulder. Then I jump away, putting another forty or so feet between us again.

"Ready? Go!" The fight goes similarly to the last one. I dodge or deflect all of his arrows, staying on the ground for now, forcing him to keep retreating. This time, when he eventually stumbles, I make sure to dismiss my spear blade as I close the distance, so his own senses will tell him that there's no real threat. He keeps his head, blocking my first strike with his bow and jumping away again. I'm faster than him even without my magic, though, so I keep the distance closed.

Every time he tries to pull back an arrow, I'm in his face, forcing him to block instead. Eventually, I slip a strike through, whacking him in the side.

"See?" I say.

"Not so bad, right?"

"... I still lost," he grumbles.

"That's good. You want to get your losses out of the way now when it doesn't matter, so you don't lose later when it does."

"I'm still probably never actually gonna fight anyone for real."

"Maybe you won't. But better to have the option just in case, isn't it? To know that you could defend yourself if you needed to, or even someone else." Help support creative writers by finding and reading their stories on the original site. He sighs and looks away.

"... Yeah, maybe," he says eventually.

"I just…" He shakes his head.

"Sometimes I wonder why Virgo picked me, you know? If I was really meant to be a magical."

"I think if you're looking for meaning in it, you're probably gonna be disappointed," I reply after a moment.

"Like, think of a kid who picks up a rock or a stick because he thinks it looks cool and plays with it for a while, but then forgets all about it a few minutes later. That's all we are to her. The only thing that matters is what you do with it now that you have it, and that's up to you. No one else." He doesn't respond, but I can tell he's at least thinking about it.

"We should probably get back soon," he says eventually. I nod.

"Yeah." I fly him back to the park we met in. Our goodbye is a little awkward. Neither of us are ready to reveal our civilian identities yet, so there's no great way for us to stay in touch.

"So. Same time next week?" I ask eventually.

"... Yeah, alright. I, uh… I guess I did actually have fun tonight. Thanks."

"Me too," I say, smiling.

"See you then." Then I take off and fly home. I feel like tonight went well, probably about as well as could be expected. I've got a better handle on Apollo now, and I think deep down, he does want more for himself. He just doesn't know how to get it, but I can help with that.

I'll have to play things a little carefully, make sure to establish a real connection with him before he finds out that I am actually a proper black mask with my own gang, but his parents and whoever else has helped keep him beaten down like this are actually making my job much easier. Once he really understands how much he's been lied to about what's best for him, he'll naturally start questioning everything else he was taught as well.

Something that hasn't been going quite as smoothly is my relationship with Alex. She still hasn't kissed me, or made any other real move to solidify things, and I'm starting to get a tad impatient. I'm hoping she's just waiting for the right moment, and the good news is that one might be coming up. There's going to be another rave the weekend after this one, this time out in the country west of Franklin.

I've already agreed to play in my civilian identity, and all of my dealers have started stockpiling the good stuff in preparation. I ask Alex if she wants to come with me Monday, at the GSA meeting. She hesitates for a moment, then nods.

"Yeah, I'd love to see you play. I'll have to ask my parents, but I think they'll probably be okay with it." That sounds weird as hell to me, but I don't make an issue of it.

"You guys are welcome to come too, if you want," I tell Will and Nina. Will shrugs a little uncomfortably.

"I dunno if my parents would be okay with that, but I guess I can ask them." I nod; I don't think either of them are too into the idea, so I don't push them. Alex gets back to me the next day at lunch.

"So, my parents say they're probably okay with it, but they, uh, they want to meet you first. Maybe have you over for dinner. Is that okay?"

"... Yeah, sure," I agree after a moment. I don't love the idea, but I'll have to meet them sooner or later regardless, and Alex has painted a good enough picture of them to mostly set me at ease.

"Uh, does tomorrow after school work?"

"Should work fine, I'll let them know." We head over together after Alex works out and I pretend to work out. Alex lives a couple of miles to the north in a solidly middle-class neighborhood. Her house is two stories, a little bigger than Jess and David's place, but not nearly as big as my old house. She parks on the street rather than in the driveway, which is occupied by a much newer and nicer minivan.

"Hey Mom, I'm home! Gabby's here," she shouts as I follow her in, taking my shoes off in the entryway like she does. I get my first look at her mom a few seconds later, as we walk into the living room. She's fairly tall as well, although not quite as tall as Alex. Her hair is a little darker and curlier, and a lot longer, falling down well past her shoulders. She smiles brightly as she sees us.

"Hi, sweetie. Hello Gabby, welcome to our home. I'm Patricia. Alex has been talking about you practically nonstop since school started."

"Mom!" objects Alex, blushing, but I don't think she's actually upset. It feels a little surreal for a moment, and I try to shake it off.

"Nice to meet you," I say, smiling and shaking her hand.

"All good things, I hope?"

"Of course," she says, laughing.

"You two go on and make yourselves comfortable. Dinner won't be for a couple of hours yet, can I get you anything? A snack?" I hesitate, then nod.

"Sure, thanks." She brings us a bowl of mixed nuts and a plate of sliced fruit, no surprise; Alex is a big healthy eater. I spend ten or fifteen minutes chatting with her, but she keeps it light, just asking about my classes and that sort of thing. I assume the serious stuff will come later, presumably when her dad is also here. Alex shows me around, blushing slightly when I see all the posters of female athletes in her room. I just grin.

She shows me her impressive movie collection as well, asking if I want to watch anything before dinner. I notice Labyrinth, but I don't want to watch anything that would remind me of Emily right now. We end up watching The Godfather instead, which I've never seen. I, uh, enjoy it more than I'm going to admit. Her mom checks in on us a few times, never too intrusively, but making it clear that she's got an eye on us. Her dad gets home a little after six, right as the movie is ending.

He's really tall, definitely well over six feet, clean-shaven with short blonde hair.

"Hello, there. You must be Gabby," he says as he comes in.

"Jeff. Nice to meet you." I shake his hand as well.

"Likewise."

"Alex, your mom says dinner will be ready in about ten minutes. Can you come and set the table?"

"Sure, just gimme like two minutes, the movie's almost over."

"Alright, as long as it's really only two minutes." He smiles and walks back out. Again, I'm struck with a slightly surreal feeling. When my dad told me to do something, he never meant anytime but now, and he never phrased it as a request either. We do in fact head out after just a couple minutes. I stand around a little awkwardly while Alex puts out placemats and silverware, but there's not really anything I can do to help since I don't know where anything is.

It's not long until we sit down, though, her mom bringing out four plates of meatloaf and mashed potatoes. Her parents sit at the ends of the table, so I end up sitting across from Alex. I'm caught a little off guard when they just start eating without saying grace first, but recover quickly.

"This is really good," I say after I've taken a few bites.

"Thanks a lot for having me."

"Our pleasure," says her mom, smiling.

"I hope this will be the first of many times. Alex has told us a little about your, ah, situation. The way you've managed to land on your feet is honestly extremely impressive, but it's terrible that you needed to in the first place. Jeff and I would be happy to give you a little help, even if it's just something as simple as making sure you get a good home-cooked meal every once in a while."

"Thanks. I really appreciate that," I say after a moment, feeling a little awkward. I don't actually need their help, of course, but I can't exactly explain why not. I don't want to just spit on their generosity, but I know it's not actually me they're offering to help, just the mask I'm wearing for them.

"Hopefully I won't need much help, I'm doing pretty okay right now, but it's good to have options just in case."

"Well, I'm glad to hear it," she says.

"So, I understand you work as a DJ? What's that like?" I nod.

"That's right. I've been working Friday nights and weekends over at this place in the mall." I spend a while telling them about it, spinning a few amusing yarns about some of the teenybopper drama I've witnessed. Having the job is useful for multiple reasons, including that it gives me something nice and family-friendly to talk about now. I don't expect that to completely diffuse all their concerns, though, and it doesn't.

"This show you've invited Alex to is somewhere else, though, isn't it?" she asks eventually.

"Uh huh. It's gonna be at this little venue a few miles out west of town, I haven't been there before. I know the people putting it on, though, I've played for them before and everything went great." Well, everything except the rude interruption from Firestorm, but I solved that problem myself, and they certainly don't need to hear about it.

"Good to hear," she says, nodding.

"It sounds a little more adult-oriented than your day job, though, would you say?" I shrug.

"I mean, I'm sure there'll be plenty of kids our age there too. It's not like they're gonna be serving alcohol or anything." Not officially, at least.

"How about drugs?" asks her dad, chiming in. Again, I shrug.

"I guess some people might be on drugs, yeah, but I've never seen anyone, like, doing them openly," I lie.

"And you've never felt unsafe at one of these shows?"

"Not really? I've been bothered by assholes a few times, but no more than anywhere else, and the community is really great, everyone does their best to look out for each other. Guys who cause trouble usually get shown the door pretty quick."

"Dad, it'll be fine, I can take care of myself," interjects Alex.

"I know you can, but it's my job to worry," he says, smiling.

"How late does this thing go?"

"Pretty late, I don't even go on until midnight," I admit.

"Hmm. Well, I can't say I love that, but Alex will be eighteen in just a few more months." He glances over at her mom, and she nods.

"Alright. I think we're fine with you going to this thing if you want to. But I expect you to use good judgment, okay? Make sure you don't stay so late that you can't drive home safely, and don't let yourself get pressured into anything you're not comfortable with. And that goes for you too, Gabby, even if you are legally an adult."

"We know," says Alex, rolling her eyes.

"But thanks."

"Well, it's important to have fun too, and I trust you to be safe about it," says her dad. I can't help but shake my head slightly. I'd thought I'd known what easygoing parents looked like from Emily's parents, but I can't imagine them ever saying something like that to her. To me, easygoing parents means not getting punished again for crying after getting punished for something else, not whatever this is.

I guess there's also like Cassie's mom, but she's less easygoing and more completely apathetic, and Alex's parents definitely aren't that. Could I have been more honest with them? No, probably for the best that I wasn't. I don't know what mask they might still be wearing, after all. And even if they are completely genuine, they'd probably still disapprove, still try to meddle out of a misguided desire to help me. We move on to mostly lighter subjects for the rest of dinner.

Alex's dad ends up being a bit of a scifi fan, and we spend a while talking about different books we've read. I haven't seen a ton of scifi movies aside from Star Wars, and Alex promises to show me some classics like 2001 and Alien at some point. Eventually, she drives me home. She seems very happy with how the evening went and assures me that her parents loved me. I'm still not quite sure what to make of them, but I'm at least glad things went well. Friday, I meet up with Apollo again.

He's in a good mood, telling me that his magic has already grown slightly stronger for the first time in years. I doubt the little bit of practice and messing around we're doing will let him keep growing for more than a few months, but it's still good; it'll make convincing him to take bigger steps a lot easier. I briefly consider inviting him to the rave as well, but quickly dismiss the idea.

I don't think he's ready for that big an act of defiance yet, and I'm not ready to tell him my civilian identity yet either. Maybe in a couple more months. He also tells me something a bit concerning. Apparently there was a magical fight somewhere in north Franklin last weekend, not too far from the Gottfried Clinic. He only knows because his security detail canceled his morning appointments the next day out of an overabundance of caution, and he'd had to work late to make up for it later.

Clearly he still has a long way to go in terms of not letting himself be pushed around, but I set that aside for now. I assure him that I had nothing to do with it, but the only other thing he knows is that it was over fast, no real damage was inflicted, and no one was reported killed. That makes sense; a serious fight would have been in the headlines for sure. Given that north Franklin is Syndicate territory, I'm guessing some new idiot tried to cause trouble and got smacked down by Huntsman just like Firestorm.

Hopefully that means I won't need to worry about them one way or another, but I'll still tell my people to keep their ears open. Then it's Saturday. Alex picks me up from work, stopping by my place so I can change and grab my shit, and we head out together. I manage not to get lost, and we arrive at the location just after ten. It's clearly someone's property, with a house at the end of a long gravel driveway, but everyone's parked in the big field the driveway runs through.

I can already hear music playing, from beyond the row of trees at the far end of the field. We head in that direction, finding another smaller clearing surrounded by tall pine trees on all sides. Most of the light comes from a big firepit with a couple dozen people gathered around it, including some people dancing with torches and stuff. Aside from that, there's just a couple of laser lights on the covered wooden platform serving as the stage. Another dozen or so people are already dancing in front.

Cassie's already here, standing around the fire with Jess and David. Mark and Anna are here too, along with another half-dozen assorted members of the Sun Eaters. It's a little strange, seeing them out of costume. I'll have to watch myself tonight, make sure not to let anyone's name slip when I'm not supposed to know it. Me and Alex walk over and set my shit down next to the stage before going over to greet them. Chris isn't here tonight, but I check in with Hyperkube from the rave that Firestorm interrupted.

"Yo, Gabby, Alex! There you guys are," says Cassie when we come up to join her.

"Was starting to think you got lost."

"Nah, we just had to drive way the fuck over from the mall," I say.

"Alex, these are my good friends Jess and David, they helped me out a ton last summer. Jess, David, this is my… friend Alex." I'd better be introducing her as my girlfriend by the end of the night, or I'm going to be annoyed.

"Nice to meetcha," says Jess, shaking her hand.

"First rave?"

"Uh huh," says Alex.

"Well, let me give you a piece of advice. The more you let yourself cut loose, the more fun you'll have. You're among friends here, no one's gonna judge you for anything." Alex nods after a moment.

"Speaking of cutting loose, want some tequila?" says Cassie, pulling out a flask.

"Obviously," I say, grinning. I take a big swig, enjoying the burn as it goes down. Then I offer it to Alex. She hesitates, looking briefly conflicted, but after a second she takes it and takes a swig as well. I wonder if it's her first drink, or at least the first time she's had anything harder than beer. If it is, she handles it like a champ, not coughing at all.

"Think I'm gonna try mushrooms tonight," says Cassie after she's taken a drink as well.

"You want some? There's E, too, of course."

"I think I'll probably just stick with weed," I say after a moment. I definitely wouldn't mind taking some E, but it might be a little too much too quick for Alex. Besides, even if there's absolutely zero doubt I'd be calling her my girlfriend by the end of the night if we both took ecstasy, it'd feel kind of like cheating. Something for later, hopefully.

"Fair enough, I guess you still gotta play," says Cassie, nodding.

"I'm taking the night off, I'm just here to have fun." I nod back. We've already got multiple dealers here, enough to seize the lion's share of the business from any independents who happen to be around, so more would just be redundant. I wait a little while before I start smoking, taking another couple swigs of tequila in the meantime, mostly to let Alex ease into things. After another fifteen minutes or so, Tyler shows up as well, along with his girlfriend and several more kids from school.

I made sure that girl with the brother in the Wildfire Boys, Anja, got an invite, but I don't see her. I've been keeping an eye on her as much as I can, she seems like she's starting to do a little better, but I guess she hasn't bounced back enough to want to party yet. For now, all I can really do is keep reaching out and trying to include her in things. Shaking my head to dispel those thoughts, I go and greet everyone.

After a few minutes of standing around and chatting, Mark, the most enterprising of our dealers, comes up and asks us if we need anything. I suppress a smirk as his eyes slide right over me. We all end up pitching in a few bucks to buy some joints, which then get passed around the circle. This time, Alex takes a puff without much hesitation when I pass a joint to her. More people start showing up as it gets closer to 11. I start dancing in place a little as the drugs hit me properly.

Eventually, Alex takes the hint and asks if I want to dance. I let her pull me out to the space in front of the stage. Weed and tequila aren't as intense as ecstasy, but they still make everything all warm and fuzzy. I know I've got a huge grin on my face. Slowly, Alex starts grinning too, letting herself properly get into things. I shriek with laughter when she picks me all the way up and spins me around a couple of times.

God, she's so fucking hot, I wish she'd just grab me and carry me into the woods and pin me up against a tree. Soon, I hope. I don't take anything else for now, so I'm starting to sober up by the time Hyperkube comes to get me for my set. Alex hugs me and wishes me good luck, and then I head up onto the stage. The current DJ's stuff is too slow for me to really mix anything into it effectively, so I just wait for him to finish before starting my first album.

He gives me a fist bump and hands over the headphones, then jumps down. I grin as all my friends cheer loudly for me, although Cassie is sitting completely mesmerized by the fire dancers and doesn't notice immediately. This time, my set doesn't get interrupted by any douchebag magicals. My collection still isn't huge, but I've got enough to play comfortably for an hour, and I've gotten better at mixing, too. I grin and jump to the beat, the crowd following my lead.

Alex stands front and center, dancing and grinning back at me. Cassie eventually comes back to reality enough to come and dance too, although she's still staring fixedly at the lasers. Almost before I know it, my hour is up and the next DJ is coming on stage to take over. I hop down after handing things off, then head straight for Alex.

"So what'd you think?"

"You were amazing!" she says.

"I need to sit down for a minute, though."

"Yeah, same." She takes me by the hand, but instead of pulling me back towards the fire, she leads me through the trees, back to the field where everyone's parked. I follow eagerly, my stomach doing excited flips. We settle against a tree in the corner of the field; I lean against her, and she puts her arm around me shoulders.

"I've never heard music like that before," she says after a moment.

"I dunno if I'd listen to it all the time, but… it's a lot of fun."

"Isn't it?" I agree.

"You don't get energy like that from anything else."

"It's really cool hosting it out here in the woods, too. It's not what I would've expected."

"Yeah, I've only gone to raves in like warehouses and stuff before. I honestly like this better, it's beautiful out here. You can really see the stars, and even the Milky Way a little." I reach up and point.

"That bright star there is Vega, the brightest star you can see right now." I shift my finger over to the right.

"There's the constellation Draco, and then Ursa Minor."

"Isn't that the Little Dipper?" she asks. I snort.

"Sure, if you wanna be lame. Ursa Minor was the original Latin name for it. Ursa Major would be behind those trees there."

"What's that bright star over there? It looks brighter than Vega."

"That's Jupiter, it's too bright to be anything else. Venus is even brighter, but you can only see Venus right before sunrise or right after sunset. And then… I think that must be Saturn? I know it's not a star, and it's not red enough to be Mars." She laughs a little.

"You're really something special, you know? Like… I wonder how many people there are in the whole world who could DJ a rave, and then give an astronomy lecture five minutes later. I… You really know who you want to be. And you don't just know it, you do it. Live it." Every word feels like it's inflating a warm bubble inside my chest.

"I've been trying to," I say.

"I've had enough of being what other people want me to be. It took me a while to figure out what I want, but I think I've found it." I turn away from the sky, and towards her.

"What about you? What do you want?" She licks her lips.

"... I think I want to kiss you."

"Then I think you'd better do something about that, hadn't you?" She does something about it. The first kiss is a little tentative, a little quick. The next kiss is much less so. After a minute, she grabs me and pulls me into her lap, this time facing her.

"Hey, Gabby?" she says, our faces separated by inches.

"I really like you."

"I really like you too." We don't look at the stars much after that.