Chương 11: Bk 1 Ch 10: Exploration

I honestly have no idea how to handle this situation. I feel like I should say something, but what am I supposed to say?

"Sorry your brother was such a huge piece of shit"? I guess she still cared about him anyway, but it's not really something I can relate to. If someone knocked off my parents, I'd probably send them a thank-you card. I feel… not exactly guilty, because guilt would imply I regret what I did, and I don't. Literally every single interaction I had with the Wildfire Boys ended with them trying to assault me.

As far as I can tell, Firestorm intentionally recruited the biggest assholes he could find, and then encouraged them to become even bigger assholes. Wiping them out was doing the world a favor, and if I hadn't done it, someone else certainly would have sooner or later. Their shitty choices are on them. Still, I wasn't exactly a passive participant. I made choices too, and my choices led to me being the one who killed her brother rather than someone else.

There's not really any way to make this right, and there's not really anything to be made right. I don't owe her anything. But I still feel bad for her, and I'd still like to try and help her feel better, just because… Because I want to, and I don't need a better reason than that. It's not a problem I can just snap my fingers and solve, she's obviously not in the mood to talk right now, but I still steer the conversation with Lisa to try and figure out what kind of stuff Anja likes for later.

Apparently she's a theater kid, she had a minor role in some student play last year and was previously excited to hopefully land a bigger one this year, so I'll see what I can do to keep encouraging her to go for it. There's not a whole lot else I can do right now aside from making sure she gets invited to any parties, but I resolve to keep an eye on her. My mood is brought down some for the rest of the day, but it recovers a little when I see that Theresa has already switched out of my gym class.

It recovers more when I do in fact run into Alex again in the locker room. She gets unintentional revenge on me when I walk around the corner to find her in the middle of pulling her shirt off. Jesus christ, you could grate cheese on those abs. Again, I'm flustered enough that I end up making my escape after just a couple of minutes, which really isn't like me. I've never gotten nervous around a girl this way before, not even Emily.

She's kind of a special case, she'd already been my best friend for years before I started actually crushing on her, but I flirted with plenty of girls over the summer and none of them gave me butterflies like this. Friday, I just have time to eat something after school before I have to leave for work. It's a little irritating how long the bus ride over is, especially since the same trip takes me literally just a couple of minutes by air.

Having a car wouldn't really help that much, either; it'd make the trip there shorter, but then I'd have to drive back as well. There's multiple good reasons not to quit, though, not least being that I do genuinely enjoy the job at least a little. I've been sneakily introducing some new albums to their collection, nothing too hardcore, just some Eurodance and other pop-adjacent house.

I still have to play the big mainstream hits to make the teenyboppers go wild, of course, but at least I can space them out a little, and hopefully nudge some of them towards getting better taste. After work on Saturday, I make a circuit to drop in on Mike, Anna, Jess, and David. I pick up my share of our earnings for the week, still only amounting to barely a hundred dollars, and also check to see if there are any problems. There aren't, but I wasn't expecting any so soon.

Word is only just starting to spread about Cassie, and I assume about the other sellers at West and Cedar Creek as well. Once it picks up, I expect both the money and the problems to start rolling in. With homework on top of all that, my life is a lot busier than it used to be, but I don't mind. Everything I'm doing is by my own choice, so even the tedious parts are tolerable. Of course, only needing five hours of sleep a night does a lot to help as well. I wonder if I'll ever lose the need to sleep completely?

Maybe I can ask an older magical like Huntsman or someone the next time I happen to meet one, assuming they're not trying to kill me of course. Then it's Monday. At lunch, I meet Cassie in the cafeteria as usual and grab some food, and then I nervously head up to room 218. The door's already open, and I head inside without hesitating so I won't hand Cassie any extra ammunition. Alex is already there, along with two other students and a teacher.

She smiles as soon as she sees me, and my heart rate immediately picks up.

"Hey, glad you made it!" she says.

"Come on in. These are my friends Will and Nina, and this is Mr. Grayson, the club's sponsor. Guys, this is Gabby."

"Hey, nice to meet you," I say, shaking everyone's hand.

"This is my best friend Cassie."

"Yo," says Cassie, shaking hands as well. Will is a wiry, slightly nerdy looking kid wearing glasses and a polo shirt.

"Nice to meet you. Thanks for showing up, I was worried it was just gonna be the three of us." Alex shoots him a slightly irritated look.

"That's why outreach is important. If you want people to show up, you have to actually tell them about it."

"Yeah, I know, don't bite my head off. I'm just glad to see we're already off to a better start than last year."

"Do you guys want pins?" asks Nina. She's a short, curvy girl with long black hair and slightly olive skin. I look a little closer at the pins she and the others are wearing on their shirts. They all have rainbow backgrounds, and hers has a large letter A. Will and Mr. Grayson are both wearing pins with a G, and Alex has an L. Nina offers me a bowl full of more pins.

"No pressure, it's completely fine if you'd rather keep your identity yourself."

"No, it's cool, I'm already out anyway." I look through the bowl for a moment, and take a pin with an L.

"Is A for ally?" asks Cassie next to me.

"That's right," says Nina, nodding.

"Alright, cool." She takes a pin as well.

"Alright, well, let's go head and eat, and we'll see if anyone else shows up," says Alex. A couple of tables have been pushed together in the center of the room, and she takes a seat at one of them. Shoving down my nerves, I sit next to her. Nina sits on her other side, and the other three across from us.

"So how long have you guys been doing this?" I ask after a moment.

"Me and Nina joined our Sophomore year, so this'll be our third year," says Alex.

"The club started the year before that, right?" she asks Mr. Grayson.

"That's right," he says, nodding. He looks like he's around his mid forties, with short brown hair and a neat beard.

"The group was started by a student named Peter, who graduated last year. I happened to catch a number of other students bullying him, which had apparently been an ongoing problem. I threw my weight around a little and threatened to make an issue out of it, and eventually the administration gave in and started actually enforcing their own rules. Peter approached me about starting the group afterwards, and I was happy to support him. I'm glad Alex was here to step into his shoes and keep the group going."

"The group fell off a little last year cause Peter got busy with classes and college stuff," says Alex.

"I want to be a lot more active this year, and really expand the group. Not just weekly meetings, but after-school events and stuff too. Statistically, there's probably around thirty or forty gay kids at West. I wanna make sure every single one of them at least hears about us, so they know support is available if they need it."

"You're really into this, huh?" asks Cassie.

"Like, as a cause."

"I mean, not everyone has a choice," says Nina.

"Opting out of the gay rights movement is a luxury you only have if you're straight."

"No, I'm not hating, I think it's cool," says Cassie.

"It's a good cause. I'm just not really into causes in general, unless the cause is getting high." She glances at Mr. Grayson.

"Grades. High grades, obviously." Alex laughs.

"You're fine. The truth is, I've actually got it pretty good. My parents were real supportive right from the start. I could just keep my head down and get on with my life if I wanted to. Doing this is a choice, and I don't expect everyone to be as committed as I am. I do expect everyone not to be an asshole, but you obviously don't have any problem with gay people, so we're cool."

"I think that's the right reason to do something," I muse.

"Because you want to, not because you feel like you're supposed to."

"Definitely," agrees Alex.

"You can force someone to shut up, but you can't force them to care." The conversation is interrupted by people starting to eat, so I unwrap my sandwich. Me and Cassie are the only ones with cafeteria food; the others packed something from home. I can't help but grin as Will pulls out his lunchbox.

"Is that Sparkle Princess?"

"Yeah," says Will, sounding a little defensive.

"She's my favorite," I quickly clarify.

"I always wished I could get a Sparkle Princess lunchbox when I was a kid." Will relaxes and grins.

"Wait, do we finally have another magical fan in the group? About time!"

"Do you guys not like magicals?" I'm mostly asking Alex, but it's Nina who answers first.

"The world needs more equality, not less. Even the well-intentioned magicals like Sparkle Princess reinforce the idea that some people are inherently more important and more valuable than others. They don't deserve to be idolized just because they're powerful." Will opens his mouth, then shuts it, looking annoyed. I'm guessing this is an argument they've had more than once. Out of curiosity, I decide to stick my foot in anyway.

"What do you think they should do, then? It's not like magicals are just gonna go away."

"Not commercializing them would be a start. Even if the white masks are necessary for now, they should be treated like law enforcement, not celebrities. A lot fewer kids would take the offer if it wasn't also a shortcut to becoming rich and famous." That, I disagree with. Fame is for people who care what everyone else thinks about them, and why would you give a shit when you have magic? I don't bother arguing the point, though, since it's kind of meaningless anyway.

"I just don't really care that much," says Alex after a moment.

"I'd rather worry about the stuff I can actually do something about. But, like, I don't really get the appeal of watching other people play sports, either. If it makes you happy, go for it." She pauses for a moment, then adds, "I guess I do actually have a favorite magical, though. Chimera, up in Portland. Did you know she's an open lesbian? Last Pride, she did the parade as a hydra with each head holding a rainbow flag, it was great."

"I, uh, I did know that, yeah," I reply. I try to will Cassie's mouth closed, unsuccessfully.

"We met Chimera when she came to Franklin over the summer. She autographed Gabby's tit." Alex chokes on her soda, turning red. She coughs for a few seconds while I shoot Cassie a withering glare, getting an unrepentant grin in return.

"Holy shit, seriously?" asks Will.

"At the fair, right? I was there too. D'you… d'you think Apollo would've signed my arm or something if I'd asked?"

"Probably not," I say, shaking my head." Cassie tried to get Dynamic to sign her boob first, and he shot her down. Then Chimera started complaining that she never got asked to sign anyone's cleavage, and, uh, I mean… I was literally standing right there, what was I supposed to do?" Cassie and Will laugh, and even Nina and Mr. Grayson look amused.

"... Well shit, I can't really argue with that," says Alex, also grinning.

"Anyway, Dynamic was pissed that she actually did it, and Apollo just seemed really uncomfortable, so I doubt either of them would've gone for it."

"Yeah, you're probably right," says Will.

"Apollo's always been really shy and sensitive…" He gets a kind of dreamy expression, and I grin.

"Uh oh. Does someone have a little crush?"

"Yeah, so what?" he says, blushing slightly.

"He's cute, and gentle, and just wants to help everyone, what's not to like?"

"Sure, fair enough," I say. Good on him for just owning it.

"I take it he's your favorite, then?"

"I mean, like, Sparkle Princess is awesome and everything, but she's off somewhere saving the world or something, you know? Apollo is right here in Franklin, I've actually met him, he just feels a little more real." I nod.

"Makes sense. I guess he could be a student right here at West, right? Kinda fun to think about." I carefully avoid showing even the tiniest hint of a smirk.

"Nah, I doubt that," says Will.

"I bet he's got, like, private tutors and stuff. Public school would be a waste of time for him, I'm sure he'd rather be at the hospital or the Gottfried Clinic helping more people." I hmm, but don't answer aside from that. Maybe Apollo does genuinely enjoy healing people, but there's also an incredible amount of money at stake. No two healers have exactly the same magic; there are lots of things Apollo can't cure, but what he can do is regrow lost limbs and even internal organs.

Only a few other healers in the US can do that, so by simple supply and demand, even a few minutes of Apollo's time is worth tens of thousands of dollars. Someone is getting very, very rich off his power, and I have a lingering suspicion that it isn't him.

"You know, he's actually doing an event just next week," says Will after a moment.

"They're opening up a new hall at the university with like state of the art medical labs and stuff, the Gottfried Clinic made a big donation to fund it. He's gonna be there signing autographs. You wanna come? It's Tuesday evening, I think." I hesitate for a second, then nod again.

"Yeah, sure, why not?" I'm not sure if I'll actually learn anything, not sure exactly what I'm hoping to accomplish in the first place, but a couple of hours isn't a real big investment. Something about that single brief meeting with Apollo just kind of bothered me, like a loose thread on a shirt you can't help but pull. We chat for a few minutes longer while we finish eating.

"Alright," says Alex eventually.

"So, I'm not gonna be super formal about this or anything, especially when there's only us, but there are a few things I want to officially go over." We all turn to her, paying attention.

"Like I said at the start, the most important purpose of the GSA is to get support to kids who need it. These sheets have a list of resources available in Franklin, everything from hangouts to legal help to a place to crash if you need it. If you need more to give to people, there's a stack in the counseling center and in Mr. Grayson's office." She passes one to me and Cassie, Nina and Will presumably already having a copy. I glance it over, feeling a moment of wistfulness.

Would I have made different choices, if I'd had all my options laid out in front of me like this? I kind of doubt it. I never would've rejected Virgo's offer, and I'm still not willing to put myself under the government's thumb, so sooner or later I always would've ended up where I am now.

"Now, let's talk outreach. Support isn't just about resources, it's about building a community, a place where people can be safe and accepted for who they are. I want to start having regular movie nights again, at least once a month. Maybe some other events too, if people have ideas. But we've got to get the word out." She puts another stack of small papers down on the table.

"I'll be putting these fliers up around the school. If you're comfortable with it, I'd appreciate it if you could all talk to your teachers and see if they're willing to put fliers up in their classrooms. Nothing beats word of mouth, though. And don't hesitate to invite your straight friends, as well. Remember, plenty of kids aren't out yet, maybe not even to themselves. A big, outspoken group of allies lets those kids participate without feeling like they're exposing themselves."

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

"Unfortunately, even though West is a lot better about LGBT acceptance than most schools, you're still almost certainly gonna run into pushback sooner or later. Before anything else, I want all of you to keep yourselves safe. If a situation is making you uncomfortable, listen to your instincts. If you ever feel like you need a teacher, Mr. Grayson's office is always open, room 251e. With that said, if you do feel comfortable dealing with assholes and bigots yourself, I certainly won't tell you not to.

Nobody likes tattletales, and standing up for yourself is a good way to earn respect. Besides, a lot of kids are casually homophobic, but not that many are serious hardcore bigots. Just calling them out on their behavior is sometimes enough to shake up their worldview. Those hardcore bigots are out there, though, and like I said, your first priority should always be to keep yourself safe. If you ever need help with anything, I've got your back." She comes to a pause, and Cassie speaks up.

"Me and Gabby too, right?" she says, glancing at me.

"We're not afraid to smack a bitch when we need to."

"So I've seen," says Alex, shooting me a quick grin. I grin back.

"I don't wanna encourage anyone to break any school rules, but again, your safety comes first. Don't ever let yourself become a victim." I nod in approval. Relying on the rules to protect you is a sucker's game, the only people they're guaranteed to protect are the people who make them. Alex talks for a while longer, about broader LGBT news and stuff. I listen curiously.

It's not really that relevant to me anymore, mundane bigotry is more of a nuisance than a threat, but I still absolutely wish them all the best of luck. Eventually, things turn back into more general conversation, and Alex sits down again.

"So what else are you into, aside from magicals?" she asks me after a moment.

"I'm a DJ."

"No shit? How'd you get into that?"

"Went to a rave over the summer. Fucking amazing experience. It just kind of called to me. I got lucky, a friend had a friend who's a DJ and he helped me get started. I actually do it for work on weekends, at this place over at the mall. X-citement, one of those family fun places, you know. It's kinda lame, but it's still fun."

"Damn, that's awesome. Must be tough, managing a job on top of school."

"It keeps me busy," I say, shrugging.

"How bout you, what else are you into?"

"I like outdoors stuff. Hiking, camping, swimming, you know. My parents let me go on my first solo backpacking trip last summer, just a couple of days up in the Cascades, but it was still amazing."

"Nice! I've never actually been camping, like real camping, only summer camps when I was a kid. That was always a lot of fun though, I love stargazing out away from the city lights."

"Yeah, the stars are definitely one of the best parts. Little hikes are fun too, I try to go on one every weekend as long as the weather's nice, but really getting out into the wilderness is a whole different experience."

"... I'd like to try it," I say after a moment.

"I've been trying a lot of new things lately, now that I have the chance." She hesitates for a moment.

"You, uh, you said the other day that you got outed involuntarily?" I hesitate as well, then nod.

"Yeah. My parents found out. I don't live with them anymore."

"... Damn. That really sucks. You're in a better situation now, though?"

"Much better."

"Good. Well, uh, real backpacking trips are a lot to just jump into. Better to ease into it a little, you know. D'you… wanna maybe come on a hike with me this weekend? Just, like, up Emerald Peak?" She's blushing a little. I am too. I've never actually been asked out before, at least not by a girl.

"I'd like that, but my weekends are pretty packed."

"Oh, right, you just said you worked on weekends," she says, her blush intensifying.

"Could you do after school instead?"

"Uh, you mean like, today?" I hadn't actually meant today, but I just go with it, because why not?

"Sure, if it works for you."

"I mean, I… I guess it could work, sure. Today's leg day anyway, so a hike is fine instead."

"Cool. Meet you outside the locker room?"

"Yeah, sounds good." The bell rings a couple of minutes later. Me and Cassie happen to be heading the same way for our classes, and she spends every single second teasing me relentlessly. It doesn't bother me at all. Again, I have to double check to make sure I haven't started floating by accident. The rest of the day passes in an impatient blur, and I get changed out of my gym clothes in record time. As promised, Alex is leaning against the wall across the hall from the locker rooms.

I stand there for a moment, just taking her in. She's wearing a tanktop again, which seems to be her usual. Fair enough; if I had arms like that, I'd want to show them off too. She spots me and smiles.

"Hey. Ready to go?"

"Yup." She leads me out to the south parking lot, to an old, slightly beat up maroon Subaru hatchback.

"My dad got it for me when I turned sixteen," she says.

"Called it insurance. He crashed his parents' car when he was seventeen, said he wasn't gonna let karma get him." I laugh.

"He sounds pretty cool."

"Yeah. I know it's kinda lame, actually liking your parents, but… I definitely got lucky." I chew on that for a minute, while we get in and she starts the car up.

"I don't think it's lame." The concept of good parents is pretty foreign to me, but even if I can't imagine what it would really be like, I still know it's something valuable. After a moment, I decide to keep talking.

"My parents are really religious. Like, hardcore evangelical. That girl from the other day, Theresa, she goes to my old church. That should give you an idea." Alex winces.

"Shit. My grandparents on my dad's side, they're pretty religious as well. They… weren't super happy when I came out. I'm pretty sure they're still convinced it's just a phase. But they never outright rejected me or anything. I… Well, I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"Thanks. I'm not looking for sympathy or anything, though, it ended up working out for the best, like I said. I just… figured you should know."

"... I appreciate it. Don't, like, feel pressured to tell me about that kind of stuff if you don't want to, though."

"I don't mind. Probably enough heavy stuff for now, though. So, uh, what kinda stuff do you listen to?" We spend the rest of the drive just chatting, getting to know each other a little better. Alex's musical tastes tragically lean more towards Cassie's than mine. At least she's more into alt rock rather than hardcore punk; it's not my favorite, but it doesn't make my ears bleed. I also find out she's a bit of a movie buff.

She's horrified when I tell her I've never heard of the Rocky Horror Picture Show, promising to take me to a screening around Halloween. I bemusedly agree. I mostly only ever watched movies with Emily, and she wasn't a fan of horror. I'm not entirely sure Rocky Horror is actually horror, but she refuses to tell me anything else about it, just saying I need to experience it for myself. Emerald Peak is at the south end of Franklin, the tallest of the hills in the region, although it's not really all that tall.

The northern face is inside the city limits and developed, but the main trailhead is on the far side, a couple miles past that. I've never actually been here before; my parents' idea of getting out into nature was the annual church picnic at the city park a mile from their house. The surprisingly large parking lot is surrounded by tall pine trees. It honestly is a beautiful day for a hike, in the mid 70's with a blue sky dotted by fluffy clouds, and the leafed trees have just the faintest touch of yellow.

We start up the trail, chatting as we walk, neither of us really running out of breath. The top of the hill is too rocky for trees, and we leave the forest after around half an hour.

"Watch out for poison oak," advises Alex, pointing out a cluster of bushes with shiny red leaves a couple of feet from the trail.

"It's all over the place up here."

"Thanks," I say, nodding.

"S'posed to be rattlesnakes, too, but I've never actually seen one. Took me a long time to convince Will to come up here with me, he hates snakes. Nina's got a pet corn snake, one time when we went over to her house she answered the door with it wrapped around her neck and he fell off the front porch." I laugh.

"I remember at summer camp, there were these salamanders that lived in the pond where we went canoeing and stuff, we used to try and catch 'em. One time this boy wouldn't stop teasing Emily, so I got one and stuck it down the back of his shirt. The camp counselors were pissed, turns out those things are actually super poisonous, but only if you actually eat 'em, so whatever."

"Nice," says Alex, grinning.

"Was Emily your friend when you were a kid?" I stumble for a moment. I hadn't even realized I'd namedropped her. Do I play it off, or just get it over with now? I try to decide for a couple of seconds, and realize I've probably already taken too long to answer.

"... Yeah," I say eventually.

"She's… she's my ex."

"... Oh." I spare her the need to think of something to say and elaborate.

"We only actually dated for a couple of years, but we were best friends since we were like five or six. My parents caught us together at the start of the summer, it's how they found out I'm gay. I… managed to talk to her afterwards. They'd already gotten in her head, convinced her there was something wrong with her, with both of us. I tried to change her mind, but…" I trail off and shake my head.

"That was last time I saw her."

"That's fucked up," says Alex, looking genuinely pissed.

"That's the exact kind of shit we need to put a stop to. You think there's anything I could do to help?" I glance at her in surprise.

"No," I say after a moment, shaking my head.

"Like I said, I haven't seen her since then. Her parents even pulled her out of West, sent her to Saint Maria's instead. I'm sure I could track her down if I really wanted to, but… I've done a lot of stuff she wouldn't approve of since then. I doubt she'd be happy to see me. Thanks for offering, though." I'm impressed with how committed she is to her principles. I think she really does want to help if she can, even if it would mean me getting back together with Emily. It's…

Honestly, it's the sort of thing Emily herself would've done, at least the spirit of it.

"That really sucks. I hope she manages to find her own way out of there," says Alex. She hesitates for a moment.

"I guess you guys were pretty serious, then?" I nod.

"Yeah. We… We were planning on going to college together somewhere, just so we'd have an excuse to move in with each other." She nods back, taking that in for a few seconds.

"I dated this girl named Phoebe for a couple months last year," she says after a little while.

"She… I mean, I liked her, she was cute, but I think she was just kind of… experimenting, you know? We never really, uh, did much. Eventually she told me she just wasn't really feeling it anymore. It wasn't really a bad breakup, nothing like yours, just kind of… disappointing." I can't help but quirk a little smile. I like how tough and confident Alex is, but it's honestly kind of cute how her inexperience and nervousness leak through just a little every once in a while.

It's gonna be fun, encouraging her to take charge a little more the way I think she wants to.

"Well, if cute girls want to experiment, I'm always happy to help," I say, grinning.

"But it'd be nice to have something a little more serious than that again, too. Honestly, I still miss Emily a lot, and that's probably not gonna change any time soon. But I made my choices, and she made hers, and neither of us are really the type to change our minds."

"Gotta live for the future, not the past," agrees Alex, nodding.

"And that does sound nice." The top of the peak is real rocky, with big outcroppings sticking up at the north and south ends. There's a dozen or so people up here, mostly at the south end, so we head north. Alex takes a seat on a boulder against the outcropping, giving us a little privacy and also a nice view of the city. I sit next to her, real close. She takes the hint and puts her arm around my shoulders. It's nice, and I lean into her a little for a few seconds. Should I push her further? Maybe just a little.

"The rocks are kinda uncomfortable," I say.

"I wish there was something softer I could sit on." She hesitates for a second. Then she reaches over with her other arm, grabs me around the waist, picks me all the way up, and puts me into her lap. I squeak and turn red. She tenses slightly, probably worrying she went to far, and starts to pull her arms away. I grab them and pull them firmly back around my waist. Yup, definitely gonna be fun. Part of me wants to see if I can push her even further, but I resist the temptation.

I can be patient, let her take the initiative, let her discover on her own that I won't stop her from going as far as she wants. Besides, I really have missed having someone to just cuddle with like this, more than I even realized. Cassie's fairly touchy, but it's not the same when I always have to remind myself that it doesn't mean anything. Also, uh, it turns out that sitting in someone's lap is a bit of a different experience when she's several inches taller than me.

I'm not complaining about the extra padding, either. I could definitely get used to this. We stay like that for probably close to an hour, sometimes talking, sometimes just sitting. I wish we could stay longer, but Alex didn't tell her parents where she was going after school. It's apparently not a huge deal, she doesn't normally get home until an hour or two after school gets out anyway, but we still have to walk down. Regretfully, I get off my very comfortable seat, and we start back.

After a minute, Alex takes my hand without needing any encouragement at all. We can't hold hands the whole way, the trail is too narrow for it at some points, but where we can, we do. She drives me home, dropping me off outside my apartment.

"That was really fun," I say before I get out.

"Thanks for inviting me."

"Yeah," she says, smiling. She hesitates for a second, and I hope she'll kiss me, but instead she just says, "See you tomorrow?"

"See you then," I say, smiling back. I'm still smiling when I close my apartment door behind me. Although part of me is disappointed, another part of me is almost… excited? I'm not quite sure why, normally I can't stand the thought of being controlled, but somehow the idea that I'm not allowed to kiss her until she decides it's time is, uh. Significantly less than unpleasant. I mean, assuming she doesn't take too long, but I'm sure I can find a way to give her a little nudge if I really need to.